F*cking Olivia on The Bachelor. Telling a guy that you’ve hung out with twice that you’re unhappy with you kankles is just not the best game plan. Hey guy, I’m insanely insecure, wanna date? From what I’ve heard, and figured out on my own, people as a whole hate insecurities. Nobody cares about your weird toes or your zit between your eyes or that you have three nipples. Sure, people judge you in secret because that’s what humans love to do, but you can’t show those insecurities to someone you’re trying to sleep with. Hol
d your tongue. Then once you got him locked down, you can boast all about your bunions. Until then, act like they don’t exist, ok? Cool.
Who do you think Ben chooses in the end? Don’t tell me if you already read the spoilers. And stop watching the spoilers. This show comes once a season, enjoy it. I have my money on Lauren B. Or Becca. Or Jojo. No wait, I’m sticking with Lauren B. She’s like a tiny little doll. I think he wants a doll. But a nice doll. What am I even saying? I’ve seen him a couple times in Denver and he is a cauuuutie. And if he’s as nice as tv makes him about to be, he deserves another nice gal. I think Lauren B is nice. And she has the skill of juggling. That ain’t a bad thing.
You know what did not happen in Costa Rica? A tan. As I near closer to my thirties, the whole tanning thing just isn’t my friend anymore. Things I don’t want later in life: skin cancer, sun spots, or chicken skin. Thing I do want in life right now: to be tan. So whenever I’m out in the sun, I live with this little angel and devil on my shoulders, constantly bickering about what to do. I need to get some sort of tan because I’m having a wedding on
the beach, in Jamaica…in two short months. And based on my spray tan prom experience from way back when, orange color on your gown just isn’t super hot.
You know what is truly making me heated? This new Oprah/Weight Watchers commercial about her losing 26 pounds while still eating bread. It really pisses me off. I love Oprah, I love the stuff she does, but promoting a diet that is rich in foods that are truly bad for you, that wreck havoc on your system, and do not lead to weight loss long term is f*cked up. We all love bread. I don’t think anyone ever has hated eating bread. But why we don’t lose weight is because of all the bread, all the processed foods, all the sugar that is in our diet. And her sending off that commercial has upped her stock by 20%. Why can’t we just promote eating foods that are good for you, that nourish your body, and that naturally help you lose weight? Why can’t THAT stock go up? Riddle me that.
Chocolate Coffee Protein Chia Breakfast Bowls
- Yield: 3-4 1x
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup brewed coffee, chilled
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1 heaping tablespoon of almond butter
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 tablespoons chocolate Primal Fuel
- 1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- 1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon chia seeds
For the toppings
- sliced banana
- some sort of paleo granola (or just chopped nuts)
- my Raspberry Blueberry Jam
- unsweetened coconut flakes
- other toppings that would be great: chocolate chips, fresh berries, chopped dates, or nut butters
- almond milk
Instructions
- Blend brewed coffee, almond milk, almond butter, vanilla extract, protein powder, cocoa powder and maple syrup in a blender.
- Place the blended mixture into a resealable large jar (or 2 smaller jars) then add chia seeds. Seal jar and shake. Place in refrigerator overnight or for at least 3+ hours.*
- Pour chia seeds in a shallow bowl. (I heated mine up in the microwave for about 30 seconds because I wanted that warm porridge feel – but you don’t have to heat yours up if you don’t prefer) and top with banana, granola, jam, coconut flakes and almond milk.
- Spoon into mouth.
Notes
*When I make chia seed pudding, I find that after I shake it then put it in the fridge for 1 hour, if I go back and shake it once more, it doesn’t separate into a gelatinous mixture.
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Have a Chia Seed Party!
Blueberry Chia Breakfast Parfaits in Juli Bauer’s Paleo Cookbook
Overnight Chocolate Coffee Chia Breakfast Pudding
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Olivia is driving me bonkers!!!! Girl needs to go away, fast!
no she needs to stay. the drama is too good!
Exactly, she is basically my favorite because it’s so entertaining!
OMG healthy and delicious. Great recipe
Kisses from http://poshnessary.com ❤
Preach, girl! Btw- this bowl looks AMAZING
OMG YES!!!! About Oprah! That sh!t is cray cray…. I did weight watchers about 10 years ago and all I learned was how to get the most value on the points by eating cr@p! I am not perfect paleo now but I am perfect in eating real (aka not processed) foods! It’s a cult… I tell you … a cult! I still count points on plates even though I have no need. It was the worst and took me years to break those bad habits.
But this looks amazing … cant’ wait to try it!
i totally get how it can be good for people who have no idea about serving sizes and it helps you take control, but it lets you eat anything, COME ON!! i bet it’s hard to break those counting habits
I always equate the theory to 5oz of broccoli is not the same as 5oz of cupacke or bread or pizza or anything else delicious that’s awful for you! Just simply calorie counting is not healthy, it may make someone lose weight off the bat, but it’s not sustainable!
agreed
I promise spray tans are so much better than when we were in high school! I swore I’d never after a prom disaster, but in my smarter and later 20’s (cough, almost 30), I have started spray tanning. I vet the places I go hard, but I am obsessed with them now! And pulease, I want to bring Oprah’s stock down for that very unhealthy promo of Weight Watchers!
Long time follower…first time comment-er. I totally agree on the Oprah thing! It makes me cringe. Thanks for the great recipe ideas! I’ve been looking for something to do with my over abundance of chia seeds.
right?! uhhhhh it makes me so mad
Thanks for sharing your trip to Costa Rica, sounds amazing!
Since this has several servings, how long can it stay in the fridge? Suppose if I would like to eat a serving then save the rest for the next day? Will it still be good to eat?
Thanks!
If you keep the chia seed pudding separate from the other ingredients, its good for up to 1 week in the fridge!
I love you Juli, but as someone who promotes balance and doing whats best for you, I’m a bit surprised at your comments about Oprah. Not everyone has a gluten allergy and just because it may be less nutritionally dense than other foods doesn’t mean it’s inherently unhealthy. Long term weight loss is usually succeeded by consistency. And people are usually most consistent on diets that they perceive are achievable, which might mean to some people having the wiggle room to eat treats like bread. I’m not an expert in Weight Watchers, but I’m fairly certain they reward eating fruits, vegetables, and protein via their point system over carbohydrates and sugars. Just my two cents, I will continue to be an avid reader as I love love love your blog!
gluten allergies has nothing to do with how gluten affects every single one of us and what it does inside of our bodies, without many of us knowing it. especially if you live here in the US. gluten contains proteins that cause inflammatory effects like gut issues, allergies, arthritis, asthma and all sorts of autoimmune diseases. you can find all of those with a simple search. sure i am all about balance in life, but i’m not pro-crap on a regular basis that will lead me to more health issues in the future, just because it fits within my points for the day.
I’m with you, Natalia 🙂 I did hard-core Paleo for 3 years and my health declined (and weight went up) pretty dramatically. I went to a bazillion doctors (both normal ones and naturopaths), and nobody could find anything wrong with me. It got so bad that I reincorporated bread products about 4 months ago because they were least upsetting to my stomach, and all of a sudden everything started working again. I now eat a whole foods diet, but it includes sprouted grain breads and some dairy on a regular basis, and I feel so much better. Weight went back down super fast, moods evened out, insomnia went away, etc. I fully believe that whole foods are a better way to go overall, but (at least for me) there was a way to include bread in that category without eating a bunch of bleached white flour products. This is just one person’s story, but I feel healthier eating sprouted grain bread than I have in a super long time.
I still use Juli’s recipes all the time though!
sounds like you went through exactly what i did, not consuming enough carbohydrates. increasing carbohydrates via healthier options such as rice, white potatoes, etc. completely turned around my health without consuming the protein that are in grains. i lost weight, slept better and my hormones were able to regulate. sprouting can’t guarantee a safe food for your gut like other carbohydrate-dense, clean foods can.
Hey Julie, long time reader (3+ years) and have recommend your blog to tons of friends and family but I have to say your comments about weight watchers sound really biased, especially since I doubt you know the program at all. I’ve been paleo (ish) and have been doing ww for a little less than 2 years and have incorporated the great things about both. With the recent change of Oprah purchasing 10% of WW stock, more people are being encouraged to take control of their eating habits. The new program launched after Oprah uses a food’s calories, saturated fats, protein and sugar in order to calculate points. Foods high in protein now have less points so someone like me who already eats lots of protein actually gets to eat more. Foods high in sugar have automatically gone up and members are having to adapt and actually reduce their sugar intake. Much more weight has been put on whole, real foods and processed food now “costs” more so members are having to adapt to a healthier choice. Weekly meetings are focused on being active and learning how to be kind to yourself and similar topics that you have sort of covered through your blog. I think that if the options are that people either 1) don’t do anything to address their weight/health/or diet issues or 2) listen to Oprah and actually try SOMETHING out then we should allow people to be inspired to help themselves. Some might eventually cut out gluten and grains (especially because grains now are more points) but being paleo is hard work! We should be commending people who are trying their best to be healthy instead of condemning them for listening to a woman who herself has admited to being human and not handling something as difficult as her weight with ease. I have your cookbook, follow you on instagram and read your blog and today for the first time I find myself feeling a little alienated by something you’ve written. I crossfit 5x a week, attend my weekly ww meeting and maintain a paleo ish lifestyle. I can tell you that most of recipes are VERY weight watchers friendly because you advocate for similar values – lots of protein, healthy amounts of fat and limited sugar.
Oh, poor Ben. You can see the sadness and regret in his eyes every time the producers force him to give Olivia a rose! And the crazy girl thinks he’s saving the best for last. But after losing the other star of the show, Jade, we’ve got to cherish this time with crazy Olivia 🙂
Never thought of using coffee to flavor a chia pudding! Love the recipe, can’t wait to try it!
hahahaha TOTALLY!! he’s just thinking, i hate you ABC
Thank YOU! I cannot stand the Oprah jump-on-the-band-wagon-and-watch-the-stock-rise-‘cuz-she-endorsed-WW Crap. Can you tell?! So ticked. Hahaha. Agree with Alison’s comment, I used to count points and would wind up eating cake and ice cream all day ‘cuz it was within my points allowance. NONSENSE. Thank you, Juli, for promoting yummy, good-for-you recipes, real food and awesome workouts. You’re an inspiration.