F*cking Olivia on The Bachelor. Telling a guy that you’ve hung out with twice that you’re unhappy with you kankles is just not the best game plan. Hey guy, I’m insanely insecure, wanna date? From what I’ve heard, and figured out on my own, people as a whole hate insecurities. Nobody cares about your weird toes or your zit between your eyes or that you have three nipples. Sure, people judge you in secret because that’s what humans love to do, but you can’t show those insecurities to someone you’re trying to sleep with. Hol
d your tongue. Then once you got him locked down, you can boast all about your bunions. Until then, act like they don’t exist, ok? Cool.
Who do you think Ben chooses in the end? Don’t tell me if you already read the spoilers. And stop watching the spoilers. This show comes once a season, enjoy it. I have my money on Lauren B. Or Becca. Or Jojo. No wait, I’m sticking with Lauren B. She’s like a tiny little doll. I think he wants a doll. But a nice doll. What am I even saying? I’ve seen him a couple times in Denver and he is a cauuuutie. And if he’s as nice as tv makes him about to be, he deserves another nice gal. I think Lauren B is nice. And she has the skill of juggling. That ain’t a bad thing.
You know what did not happen in Costa Rica? A tan. As I near closer to my thirties, the whole tanning thing just isn’t my friend anymore. Things I don’t want later in life: skin cancer, sun spots, or chicken skin. Thing I do want in life right now: to be tan. So whenever I’m out in the sun, I live with this little angel and devil on my shoulders, constantly bickering about what to do. I need to get some sort of tan because I’m having a wedding on
the beach, in Jamaica…in two short months. And based on my spray tan prom experience from way back when, orange color on your gown just isn’t super hot.
You know what is truly making me heated? This new Oprah/Weight Watchers commercial about her losing 26 pounds while still eating bread. It really pisses me off. I love Oprah, I love the stuff she does, but promoting a diet that is rich in foods that are truly bad for you, that wreck havoc on your system, and do not lead to weight loss long term is f*cked up. We all love bread. I don’t think anyone ever has hated eating bread. But why we don’t lose weight is because of all the bread, all the processed foods, all the sugar that is in our diet. And her sending off that commercial has upped her stock by 20%. Why can’t we just promote eating foods that are good for you, that nourish your body, and that naturally help you lose weight? Why can’t THAT stock go up? Riddle me that.
Chocolate Coffee Protein Chia Breakfast Bowls
- Yield: 3-4 1x
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup brewed coffee, chilled
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1 heaping tablespoon of almond butter
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 tablespoons chocolate Primal Fuel
- 1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- 1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon chia seeds
For the toppings
- sliced banana
- some sort of paleo granola (or just chopped nuts)
- my Raspberry Blueberry Jam
- unsweetened coconut flakes
- other toppings that would be great: chocolate chips, fresh berries, chopped dates, or nut butters
- almond milk
Instructions
- Blend brewed coffee, almond milk, almond butter, vanilla extract, protein powder, cocoa powder and maple syrup in a blender.
- Place the blended mixture into a resealable large jar (or 2 smaller jars) then add chia seeds. Seal jar and shake. Place in refrigerator overnight or for at least 3+ hours.*
- Pour chia seeds in a shallow bowl. (I heated mine up in the microwave for about 30 seconds because I wanted that warm porridge feel – but you don’t have to heat yours up if you don’t prefer) and top with banana, granola, jam, coconut flakes and almond milk.
- Spoon into mouth.
Notes
*When I make chia seed pudding, I find that after I shake it then put it in the fridge for 1 hour, if I go back and shake it once more, it doesn’t separate into a gelatinous mixture.
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Have a Chia Seed Party!
Blueberry Chia Breakfast Parfaits in Juli Bauer’s Paleo Cookbook
Overnight Chocolate Coffee Chia Breakfast Pudding
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Gaaaahhh-lee I totally agree about the Oprah commercials. I’m all about some balance in my life but a daily regimen of inflammatory foods won’t do ANY body good. And I really don’t want to be rude here, but I probably won’t take advice from a woman’s who’s weight has fluctuated more than the weather….
And bachelor stuff…YES—Lauren B is my girl! I, embarrassingly enough, did a fantasy draft with a couple girlfriends and Lauren B just happens to be on my team….soooo I’m obviously rooting for her. I also have Olivia on my team, so as much as I want to totally kick her in the kankles, she’s earning me some more points when she sticks around 🙂 Love your blog! And SO jealous of your trip to Costa Rica.
that’s exactly how i felt about Oprah, but didn’t want to say it! glad you felt the same way
Haha! I’m in a fantasy draft too! I’m so glad I’m not the only one 🙂 It makes watching so much more fun. I’m team Cayla, Becca, and Jo-Jo. My hubby swears it will be Lauren B 🙂 I’ll laugh if he beats me in fantasy Bachelor because we all know I wouldn’t beat him in fantasy football 🙂
Omg soooo glad to hear more people do fantasy drafts for bachelor. I think your hubby might be right, Ali! At least I hope he is! Good luck with your draft!
Hey Julie, I’ve been loving your recipes! What brand of chocolate protein powder do you use? I assume it is dairy free or is that even possible?
formulx! there’s a link on the right side of my blog!
You have probably said this a million times, but what kind of protein powder do you use? Tx!
formulx! there’s a link on the right side of my blog!
Olivia has to stay!. That popping-out-of-a-cake dance routine was priceless!! It was so bad it was good. I had a good laugh at that.
I think they may be making him keep Olivia for a little while. She’s such a train wreck and I cannot look away. Team caila!!
I don’t watch the Bachelor but I went to college with Lauren Bushnell so I’m rooting for her ALL THE WAY!!! Glad to hear you like her as well 🙂
Olivia! She’s on the hot mess express! You will get a kick out of this!
http://thebluntblonde.com/21-things-i-want-to-say-to-olivia-on-the-bachelor-finale/
That was awesome! She is not zen with anything!
AMEN. on this entire blog post.
that. is all.
WW has come a long way, and even has a plan where you don’t have to count points . Fruit and vegetables “cost” zero points, so are definitely encouraged. I don’t follow that program now, but lost a lot of weight on it, and it works great for a lot of people. Personally, I feel better when I eat clean, but gluten now and then does not cause me an issue. I eat everything in moderation! Everyone needs to find what works for them!
This recipe looks great and I will be trying it this weekend
I’ve never tried chia (congealed food is gross). I may give this recipe a whirl. On the Oprah note, I agree. People are always looking for the easy way to “Lose weight. Feel great!” I have the secret here, but my stock won’t go up. I won’t make millions overnight. But, I’m willing to share. Lean in, eat nutritious foods, be active. One thing that works for me when I think I’m doing all the right things is a food diary. Nothing like actually keeping a running tally of the (measured) food you’re putting in your body to keep you honest.
Good luck with the tan resolution and I hop The Bachelor continues to intrigue you!