F*cking Olivia on The Bachelor. Telling a guy that you’ve hung out with twice that you’re unhappy with you kankles is just not the best game plan. Hey guy, I’m insanely insecure, wanna date? From what I’ve heard, and figured out on my own, people as a whole hate insecurities. Nobody cares about your weird toes or your zit between your eyes or that you have three nipples. Sure, people judge you in secret because that’s what humans love to do, but you can’t show those insecurities to someone you’re trying to sleep with. Hol

d your tongue. Then once you got him locked down, you can boast all about your bunions. Until then, act like they don’t exist, ok? Cool.

Who do you think Ben chooses in the end? Don’t tell me if you already read the spoilers. And stop watching the spoilers. This show comes once a season, enjoy it. I have my money on Lauren B. Or Becca. Or Jojo. No wait, I’m sticking with Lauren B. She’s like a tiny little doll. I think he wants a doll. But a nice doll. What am I even saying? I’ve seen him a couple times in Denver and he is a cauuuutie. And if he’s as nice as tv makes him about to be, he deserves another nice gal. I think Lauren B is nice. And she has the skill of juggling. That ain’t a bad thing.

You know what did not happen in Costa Rica? A tan. As I near closer to my thirties, the whole tanning thing just isn’t my friend anymore. Things I don’t want later in life: skin cancer, sun spots, or chicken skin. Thing I do want in life right now: to be tan. So whenever I’m out in the sun, I live with this little angel and devil on my shoulders, constantly bickering about what to do. I need to get some sort of tan because I’m having a wedding on

the beach, in Jamaica…in two short months. And based on my spray tan prom experience from way back when, orange color on your gown just isn’t super hot.

You know what is truly making me heated? This new Oprah/Weight Watchers commercial about her losing 26 pounds while still eating bread. It really pisses me off. I love Oprah, I love the stuff she does, but promoting a diet that is rich in foods that are truly bad for you, that wreck havoc on your system, and do not lead to weight loss long term is f*cked up. We all love bread. I don’t think anyone ever has hated eating bread. But why we don’t lose weight is because of all the bread, all the processed foods, all the sugar that is in our diet. And her sending off that commercial has upped her stock by 20%. Why can’t we just promote eating foods that are good for you, that nourish your body, and that naturally help you lose weight? Why can’t THAT stock go up? Riddle me that.

Want to save this recipe?
Just enter your email and get it sent to your inbox!
Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.

Chocolate Coffee Protein Chia Breakfast Bowls

5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star

4.6 from 7 reviews

  • Yield: 3-4 1x



For the toppings

  • sliced banana
  • some sort of paleo granola (or just chopped nuts)
  • my Raspberry Blueberry Jam
  • unsweetened coconut flakes
  • other toppings that would be great: chocolate chips, fresh berries, chopped dates, or nut butters
  • almond milk


  1. Blend brewed coffee, almond milk, almond butter, vanilla extract, protein powder, cocoa powder and maple syrup in a blender.
  2. Place the blended mixture into a resealable large jar (or 2 smaller jars) then add chia seeds. Seal jar and shake. Place in refrigerator overnight or for at least 3+ hours.*
  3. Pour chia seeds in a shallow bowl. (I heated mine up in the microwave for about 30 seconds because I wanted that warm porridge feel – but you don’t have to heat yours up if you don’t prefer) and top with banana, granola, jam, coconut flakes and almond milk.
  4. Spoon into mouth.


*When I make chia seed pudding, I find that after I shake it then put it in the fridge for 1 hour, if I go back and shake it once more, it doesn’t separate into a gelatinous mixture.

Did you make this recipe?

Share a photo and tag us — we can't wait to see what you've made!


PaleOMG Chocolate Coffee Protein Chia Breakfast Bowls


Have a Chia Seed Party!

Blueberry Chia Breakfast Parfaits

Blueberry Chia Breakfast Parfaits in Juli Bauer’s Paleo Cookbook

Overnight Chocolate Coffee Chia Breakfast Pudding

Overnight Chocolate Coffee Chia Breakfast Pudding


Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!

PaleOMG + Real Plans

I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!

You May Also Like:

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe rating 5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star


  1. Katharine says:

    The recipe looks great! But the last time I made chia seed pudding I couldn’t deal with the texture. Do you have any suggestions?

  2. Tess says:

    This is my very first time visiting your blog and I’m literally LOLing at my desk right now. All of your insight and remarks are spot on. Kind of weird to sit here reading a complete stranger’s words thinking, “Wow- I could totally be best friends with this chick!” Thanks for the laughs this morning and the oh-so-yummy looking recipe. Heading over to the other corners of your blog now to do some more exploring into your world!

  3. Kristina says:

    I can’t with Olivia, I really just can’t! I was crossing fingers and eyes for him to not give her that damn last rose! UGH she is a little coocoo… but on to more important things, like your tan for Jamaica !! 🙂
    Check out http://www.lovingtan.com and look at the testimonials. It’s a tanning mouse and people are raving about it. I follow them on Instagram and I will be trying it, once I’m finished with laser ha ha – hair free and a nice tan – aaahhhhh! Can’t wait to try this yummy breakfast!!!

  4. Jen Blanch says:

    I’m always looking for really good Paleo recipes and stumbled upon your blog. I must say, this one looks so delicious and I can’t wait to try it! Just a question though, what would be a good alternative to almond milk? I might make this for a get-together and I have a friend who has an allergy to almonds. Thank you, and I will be browsing your site for more! 🙂

    1. juli says:

      you could make a different kind of nut milk, like cashew or really any nut you prefer!

  5. Lauren says:

    Made this for breakfast today! I saved the almond butter for a topping, used plain protein powder instead of chocolate, and ended up having to add 2 extra tablespoons of chia seeds – my batch was way too thin without it. So, so delicious, and a nice change of pace from my usual eggs and greek yogurt.

  6. Kathie says:


    Can you suggest a substitute for the coffee in this recipe? I’d love to try it but cannot ingest coffee. Thank you.

    1. juli says:

      just remove the coffee and use extra almond milk!

  7. Courtney says:

    I can’t stand Olivia! The worst part about her kankles convo was that he was really down about his friends passing away! WTF?! I’m with you on Lauren B. She’s totally precious!

    I thought the same thing about the Oprah bread commercial. Thank you for your comments about it! Let’s not talk about the high dollar trainers and chefs she has at beck and call to help her lose that weight! It’s unfortunate how many people will start reincorporating bread in their diets after hearing that.

  8. Antonett says:

    A big YES on all counts.

    Olivia drives me absolutely insane on the show. Seriously, you’re gonna cry about your cankles to a guy whose friends just DIED?! Bitch please…

    I love Oprah, but that commercial is just lies. LIES!

  9. Leighton says:

    Happy Bachelor Monday! First of all, that breakfast bowl looks fantastic!! Second of all, I totally think Lauren B. is going to win the Bachelor. She’s so adorable and I feel like he’s really into her. Looking forward to tonights episode! Hopefully Olivia sabotages herself…

  10. Corinna says:

    Thank god I found this recipie. As a long time follower I just want to note – your blog is becoming less paleo and more Facebook feed. There’s overseas holidays, working out selfies, advertisements for clothes brands, what I’m wearing today rubbish. You legitimately have to filter through four or five stories to find what I originally came here to find – that is good food advice and solid paleo inspiration.
    I know your life is amazing- that’s brilliant – but keep on track – because it’s becoming a tiring effort coming here having to search so much.

    1. juli says:

      excuse me, corina, but this is MY blog. i put out exactly what I want to. just because you aren’t interested in something does not mean other people aren’t interested in it. i share my life, my stories, what excites me, and my food…because it’s MY blog. just because you’re interested in JUST food doesn’t mean other people aren’t interested in other things, like working out and bettering their lives and how they feel in their skin. it’s incredibly self involved asking me to change for YOU. shame on you. learn to lift people up, to support them growing and changing, and do not ever tell me to “keep on track” because hun, I’m on my own track and I fucking love it.