Cracked Brownie Batter Muffins

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So these brownies are kind of like mini brownies. And kind of like muffins. So I didn’t know what to name them. All I know is that they are delicious. My boyfriend loved them and his best friend thought they were awesome, which is a compliment since he’s not really into sweets. I always make the boyfriend rank my food on a scale from 1-10 and he rated this high. 8.5. It may not sound that good to you, but believe me, it is. I think he rates me a solid 6. Kidding. Hopefully.

Moving on.

So, yesterday was the day I had to finally get the plates for my car. Of course, I kept it off as long as possible (I love procrastinating) so once the law told me it was time, I had to figure out how the hell to get plates. You see, I bought my first car almost 10 years ago. And when I say I bought it, I gave my parents money and they did the rest for me. Like getting me plates. And dealing with my insurance. So this was all new to me. I felt like a child. Anywho, this is how it went down. I got all my paperwork together, in hopes that it would all make sense to the DMV person, headed to the DMV, then once I was in the parking lot, I figured out I needed to get emissions done. So I looked up the closest emissions facility, and well, it was where I had just left. So I drove back to that area to get the test done. A well, I wasn’t sure how emissions worked, so instead of just following the signs like a common sense human being would do, I walked inside to the main door. Once no one looked at me, I decided I should probably just follow the signs. And they didn’t take credit cards, so thank goodness I had my checkbook with me. Who doesn’t take credit cards? I don’t get it. Seems sketchy to me. Whatever. So I got through emissions, went back to the DMV, handed her all my paperwork, she handed things back and I finally got my plates. WOOT WOOT. I’m an adult.

Why don’t they teach you this stuff in school? Seriously. Like, why in the hell do they not teach us adult stuff? Such as taxes. EVERYONE HAS TO FIGURE OUT TAXES, so why the hell wouldn’t they teach us that while growing up? They teach us algebra, which probably 16% of the population uses on a regular basis, but they don’t teach us the difference between state and federal taxes? Or that the government will take your home and car if you don’t pay them? Blasphemy. I’m frustrated right now.

Ok, not really.

So on my way home from my 2 hour license plate adventure, I was listening to the radio. I rarely get to do this because I live within a 2 mile radius of every place I want to go. So I listened to a radio station that was talking about annoying things their significant other did. Like the radio hosts wife would stick almost her entire hand in her mouth to eat cheetos, while licking every finger. Ew. That stuff is funny to hear. I don’t think I really have things that annoy me about my bf yet. And obviously there is nothing that annoys him about me, because I’m perfect, obviously, so I don’t think we can relate. That’s a lie, I’m sure he has MANY things that annoy him. Like, that I sneeze 4 times every time I sneeze. Every.Time. Or that I ask the same question at least 5-6 times before I actually retain it (meaning listen). Or god know what else. I’d actually like to not know. But I do have some things that annoy me. Like people who chew gum loudly. Ughhhh, you’re the worst. Or people who lick every finger while eating. Let me specify though, there is a difference between licking your fingers and SLURPING your fingers. If you slurp your fingers and the finger almost pops out of your mouth, you’re gross. And you need to get your life together. If you’re at home alone, go for it. But if you are around other human beings, and you’re not making a commercial about finger-licking good ribs, DO NOT slurp your fingers. Because people will think of you differently. And write about you on the internet.

Thankfully, my boyfriend is not one of those people.

PS- if you haven’t tried Cracked Nut Butter yet, OMG YOU HAVE TO TRY IT. I know I’ve been yelling a lot in this blog post, but I’m serious. It’s by far the best nut butter I’ve tried so far. It does have whey protein in it, so for you people who don’t swing that way, I told you! But I love it and the flavors really do taste like what they say they will. Like cinnamon roll. Yeah, it tastes just like it. Or cookie dough. You’ll never need to make cookie dough again with this stuff!! I could just die. Some stores carry it, but you can buy it online right now!! Go get it!

Recipe inspired by Civilized Caveman Blueberry Banana Brownies

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Cracked Brownie Batter Muffins

  • Yield: 9 1x

Ingredients

Scale

For chocolate glaze

  • 1/4 cup Enjoy Life mini chocolate chips
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
  2. Place all brownie ingredients in a bowl and mix well to combine.
  3. Pour thick batter into 9 silicone muffin liners.
  4. Bake for 20-25 minutes.
  5. Let cool.
  6. Mix together chocolate chips and coconut oil in a double boiler or microwave and pour over brownies.
  7. Eat up and enjoy the taste of brownie batter. Meaning love.

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.

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56 thoughts on “Cracked Brownie Batter Muffins”

  1. So I take it if you don’t have CBBNB (cracked brownie batter nut butter. Duh) because you live in a third world country, mac or almond butter would work? Also while I’m at it, where does coconut sugar rate on the paleodomitor? Thanks JB!

    1. I’ve been told coconut palm sugar is not Paleo, which makes me want to cry. This recipe looks delish!!! Can’t wait to try it!

      Couldn’t agree more on the high school stuff. Like who needs to know what an isosceles triangle looks like? Or how to dissect a frog? But I damn sure wish someone would have taught how to change a tire, or the difference between a Phillip’s head or flat head screwdriver!! (end rant)

  2. On my list of things to ‘do’ is experiment with making diff nut butters with the help of my awesome vitamix!

  3. juli ! I thought I read a while ago that you don’t do so hot with nuts. what’s up with that? I can’t do nuts at all and I get SO BUMMED when a delicious recipe has them in it.

    1. I don’t 🙁 that’s why they’re at my boyfriends house. But I can have them in small amounts. But I wouldn’t want the nut lovers to miss out on these!

  4. OMG I COMPLETELY agree with the slurping of fingers. It makes me want to DIE. This is why you are my fave 🙂

    1. OK I bought 2 since I think it counts as supporting local businesses. The original cookie dough and the chocolate chip cookie dough.

    1. I got the chocolate chip cookie dough but HOLYCRAP it was $16/jar!!!

      The guy working the shop I went to said to let it sit upside down so that all the chocolate chips go to the top and then stick it in the fridge. Which I did. Half of the jar is gone 🙁

      Anywho it tasted MUCH better cold that at room temp. There was a protein-bar-ish taste to it for me. But the sales guy said it was his favorite flavor. But he works at a store that mostly sells protein bars, so yeah…..

  5. Holy wow those look AMAZING!!!! Definitely needing a chocolate fix right about now! Wish I was at home to make these!

    I completely agree with the adult stuff. I just bought a car on Friday. It’s amazing how much they do not teach you in school. Like taxes, loans, car registration, balancing checkbooks, financing. It’s ridiculous!! Yay for adulthood 😛

  6. Juli! I just want you to know that I love your blog and also that I teach a high school class called Independent Living and I teach them allllllll about life skills and paying bills and taxes. There is hope! 🙂

  7. This recipe looks amazing!! I am allergic to chocolate (I know super bummer) can I use almond or sunbutter and add like a tablespoon or 2 of carob powder to still get the chocolate effect??
    Thanks 🙂

  8. I too wish they would have taught us real-life skills in school. I mean I passed algebra copying off my friend lol!

  9. DANG IT! I’ve read SO many suggested products through your blog, Juli and I was so excited about Cracked Nut Butter that I had already mentally committed to buying at least 2 jars. Only to find that the online store is down for maintenance. No, bueno, yo! These little brownie muffin balls of happy will have to wait.

  10. Licking your fingers can lead to pin worms. Just ask my daughter : /

    Whenever I see someone (I know) licking their fingers I tell them all about the possible white little worms that could live in their butt. Grossed out yet? Yeah it was VERY GROSS and itchy for her……..

  11. Seriously going to make this, but more importantly…MOUTH BREATHERS!!! You have a nose for a reason people…please use it!!! That is all.

  12. hi! if the store closest to me only carries the Cracked Nut Butter in the Brownie Batter flavor, would that work??

  13. where can i buy this cracked out nut butter?! the website store isn’t set up and according to that website it isn’t on the east coast.

  14. Audible gum chewing and swallowing is my number 1 pet peeve!!! I can’t stand it and will call people out when I hear it, especially if it’s during a test. I can’t concentrate with that shit going on.
    Anyway, I can’t wait to make these, but I have to wait for my order to come in. In the meantime, I’ll try it with just my almond butter. And maybe crumble some bacon on top of the glaze, because it sounds delicious.

  15. The main ingredient in the “Enjoy Life mini chocolate chips” that is always posted, is evaporated can juice which is pretty much sugar. The only difference between that and white sugar is that white sugar goes through one more process, but they’re pretty much the same thing.

    This is just a heads up for those who think that they are avoiding sugar by eating this!

  16. Just an FYI for those missing out on the Cracked Butter… (I’m likely going to regret telling this ‘secret’) but Cracked Butter is available on Etsy….

  17. OMG!!! Just got my shipment of Cracked Nut Butter – One of every flavor. Opened the cookie dough to start! OMG OMG OMG!!! So good! I just eat it right out of the jar. It is delicious cold. I have 2 tbsp when I am having a sweet tooth craving… so good. Probably shouldn’t be messing around with the whole whey thing… but screw it for a tiny taste of heaven! Thanks Juli, for turning me onto another great find! (First was Steves Paleo Goods, Tessamae’s, then Nikkis Coconut Butter) You are so resourceful! Love you!

  18. I made these this weekend for my family and me and they were FANTASTIC! I wish that I could attach a picture of my two year old eating this brownie b/c it’s hilarious! 🙂 Thanks for the great recipe. I ended up buying the Chocolate chip cookie dough one too as well as the brownie batter. Any good recipes for that one? Thanks Juli!

  19. Can these be made without the honey? The Cracked Nut Butter has a good sweet taste so I was wondering if it’s possible to skip the honey?

  20. dunno if you are still responding to comments on this post. saw this, looks delicious. also seeing that a lot of your and other people’s paleo recipes have almonds or other tree nuts. for those of us that have a severe tree nut allergy, what is a good substitute? Often I just make it up as I go, but figured I would ask since I intend to fully commit.

    Thanks in advance!

    Becca

  21. The cracked nut butter ingredients say that they contain non-GMO Whey Isolate. I thought whey was a no no in paleo.

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