Creating a Better Relationship w/ Food – Episode 42: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast

It took me a long time to create a healthy and happy relationship with food, so I thought I would share my experience and what has worked for me over the years!

[powerpress]

____________

Support the podcast by clicking the Subscribe button on iTunes and please a review only if you love the podcast! There is enough negativity in this world, don’t spread more. I love hearing about what YOU want me to talk about so feel free to leave on comment here or on social media with topics you’d like me to cover! And don’t forget, some posts have affiliate links which I may be compensated from. This compensation helps with keeping this blog and up and running! Thank you so much for your support, you guys are amazing!

____________

Episode 42 Transcription!

Topics:
1. Birth control update [16:02]
2. A better relationship with food [20:89]
3. Foods you should probably avoid [34:33]
4. Think about what’s going on in your life [40:19]
5. Comparison is the thief of joy [47:19]

This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

Juli Bauer: Well hello there you beautiful soul. Welcome to the 40-something episode of PaleOMG Uncensored. I think it’s the 42nd. I think. But how am I supposed to remember these things? Oh yeah, look it up before? No. B*tch ain’t got time for that. I’m over here on a Saturday, when I post my podcast. Recording on a Saturday, because I have a lot of sh*t going on lately. I’m about to leave for the next 20 days out of 30 days. I’m going to be out of town. So I’m not at home much. Which means I need to get all my recipes done ahead of time, and all my other blog posts done. So when I leave on this vacation, that is away from technology, my assistant can just take over and finish that.

But, ok. I’m just getting ahead of myself at this point. I want to talk about this past week. Ok? Because it was July 4th. It was a holiday on a Tuesday. What a terrible invention. Why can’t they change it to Independence Week? Just have a full week. Because a lot of people take that full vacation anyways. Why not? Tuesday was awkward as f*ck. It felt weird all week. But, July 4th was awesome, itself. So we went to Horse Tooth Reservoir, which is in Fort Collins, which is like an hour and a half away from Denver. We took a boat up there, and we just wake surfed, and a couple of people wake boarded. But I’ve never been to Horse Tooth. And I had no idea it’s so big. Because whenever we go to lakes, we go to these private, really small, manmade lakes. And they’re a figure 8. You’re just letting go of the rope to wake surf, and then you have to grab it because you have to turn around.

So, to be on a lake that is 7 miles long, was pretty f*cking neat. It’s pretty neat. So we wake surfed, and we hung outside. And a bunch of our friends came up and jumped in the boat with us. And it was just so much fun. And it was just so, like my husband grew up on lakes. And literally where I feel in love with my husband was on a lake, because this guy who is super quiet and kept to himself and really shy when we first started dating, completely came out of his shell and he could not stop smiling when I went to the lake with him the first time. I was like, oh! This guy’s way cooler than I thought he was.

So, he loves being on a lake, and I’ve always been a person who was really worried to get on the lake. Because I’m feeling insecure about myself being in a swimsuit. And that was a fear I had to get over. So once I got over that fear, and I actually found something on the lake that I wanted to do and wanted to get better at, which is wake surfing, I feel like it made our relationship even better. We have this common thing together, we are opposite people. We have completely different interests. So to have something that we both like to do together is really cool.

So anyway, we went wake surfing. Our friends came out. And then, we headed back home and we pretty much went straight to the Rockies game. And they’re the baseball team, if you don’t follow sports. I’m surprised I even know who the Rockies are, honestly. But we went to a Rockies game. And this Rockies game, nobody goes to the Rockies game really because they pretty much always suck. And you know, there are like 4 million baseball games per season. So you can pick whenever you want to go. So they’re not crazy busy most of the time, which is really nice whenever we go, because I’ll go with my husband. Ok, Jackson. Calm your tits. The mailman just came. I apologize if your eardrums are broken.

So anyways. I go to games with him just because I don’t mind going to baseball games. I don’t watch baseball, I don’t mind kind of watching baseball. Because I found a place that serves potatoes. Like, you can get nachos, but on a baked potato. You can get pulled pork and all the fixings for nachos, but on a baked potato. So I know where I can go eat. Our friends usually have tickets through work, so we get good seats. So it’s a decent fun time. It’s not football to me. And if you don’t know what I mean by that; I f*cking hate football. Don’t be like, “How do you hate football?” I hate football. How do you like football? That’s the real question.

But anyways. We went to the Rockies game. And most games aren’t very busy. But this game, two nights in a row for July 4th, they have a fireworks show at the end. And part of the seats can go down on the field and sit on the field. And I don’t give a sh*t about fireworks. Probably because I’m a girl, and I don’t care about fire and like explosions. I don’t know. Maybe you’re a girl and you like that kind of sh*t. But I don’t. So, I don’t care about that. But my husband was like a little kid. He could not wait for this fireworks show. So I went, and got through game. And I say, got through the game. We got there in like the 6th inning. So got through the game, I really pressed through it. And then, they have to get all these seats on the field, which takes like an hour. It takes forever, and so to entertain the crowd, and to keep them there and entertained, they’re throwing free T-shirts.

And, ok. So, crowds give me a lot of anxiety, especially sports crowds. I think people in sports are just absolutely obnoxious. You’re screaming and yelling cusswords at either a player or the opposite team. In any other social situation, that’s not ok. But since you’re at a game, it’s cool to be really f*cking mean to someone. I don’t know. I just f*cking hate crowds. So when they start throwing T-shirts, people will literally jump across other humans to get this sh*tty ass T-shirt. So that’s what they’re doing. And this older woman, she’s probably in her 40s. I didn’t look at her because I was very unhappy with her. But she kept lunging over me, and elbowing me in the head. I’m like, what do you need this ugly-ass purple Rockies T-shirt for? You obviously probably paid to come to this game. You can afford to buy your own f*cking T-shirt. So why are you trying to get this sh*tty one? And you’re going to f*cking throw elbows to get it? Are you f*cking crazy?

So, anxiety level up after that happened. And then, I’m really trying to work on my anxiety, because it holds me back in doing things that I know are fun long-term, that my husband is really happy with. And I don’t want that anxiety to get in the way of our relationship. So the whole time during this game, I am thinking how are we going to get a ride home. Because we got an Uber there just in case we drank. And because parking is a sh*t show. Because the stadium is downtown. So, can you hear Jackson sneezing?

So the whole time I’m just thinking about how we’re going to get home. And my husband thinks that’s very dumb. He’s like, why are you worrying so much? We’re going to get an Uber, it’s going to be fine. And we live probably 7 miles, maybe 8, from the stadium. And our Uber home cost us $55. No. F*cking so dumb.

But, the end of this story is, the fireworks were really f*cking awesome. It was worth it. Do I want to go back again? Probably not. Maybe go to a bar that you can see the stadium. But it was just a lot of people. A long day in the sun. I was so tired the next day because we probably didn’t get home until midnight after the show. And just being in the sun all day, and then dealing with anxiety all night. I was so f*cking tired the rest of the week. And I still feel tired. Stupid sh*t to complain about, but isn’t that me. So that’s kind of what has been going on this week. Dealing with a holiday, and then trying to get all my recipes done beforehand. And all my blog posts done.

So I’m going on this trip through the Caribbean. I think it’s the Caribbean. We fly into St. Martin, and then we get onto a yacht. I got invited on this trip because some friends backed out, so thank you, whoever those people backed out of this trip. So, we go on a yacht, and sail to different islands every day. It’s like a 9-day trip. So it’s a good chunk of time, so I want to make sure I still have all my posts and podcast done. Hopefully I can get all the podcasts done. But all the posts done ahead of time so I can really just let my assistant take over, and I can get an actual real vacation, because I haven’t been probably ever on a real vacation when I’ve been doing my blog. Because if you run your own business you know you have to continue to work, even when you’re gone. So I’m trying to get everything done. Do you want your bone? Everything done ahead so I can party it up.

And I also have this trip, I leave in 2 days, to California to Santa Ynez. Still don’t know how to pronounce it, honestly. Santa Ynez, which is wine country outside of Santa Barbara. And then I have a trip to Austin, too. So I have these two other trips before this trip to the Caribbean. So I’m just trying to get a lot of sh*t done. So you guys aren’t like, what the f*ck? On my website. And hopefully you do look at my website. If you’re like, “I don’t know what your website is, b*tch.” That’s fine. But will you go look at it? Because I really put a lot of time into those recipes for you. Darling.

Oh. I have to tell you what else. Sorry there was squeaking; letting the dog out. Something else that happened that I’m very pumped about is we finally. We’ve lived in our house for 2 years, and we finally are getting to a point that we like our house. We have a 1950s house, and we painted it just recently. And then we finally saved up enough money to get the landscaping done. Because if you’ve ever done landscaping, it’s f*cking expensive. I don’t understand it. It sucks. But man. I don’t want to do it myself, that’s for sure. So saved up enough money so we could get some landscaping done. Kind of get the bare minimum and just make it look nice so that we enjoy our backyard and we love to look at it. And so the landscaping just finished yesterday. And then we need to order furniture, so we can hang out in the backyard and sit there and get eaten by mosquitos. So that’s what’s been going on. All that fun stuff. All that adulting, boring ass, fun stuff.

And all while this is happening, my amazing friend, who is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and would do anything for anyone, is going through a sh*tty breakup. And I can’t talk much about it, because it’s f*cking rude. But this guy is the master manipulator. F*cking just manipulating the sh*t out of things. And he’s a bad person. And he acts like he’s this great person. And I say this because I have been in a relationship in the past where I was manipulated hard core. And so I kind of see it more, now, than I did previously because I thought I was very naïve and thought people were just good people. This was before the time of Instagram and Facebook and awful people coming out everywhere. But I just thought people were nice, you know? I didn’t think people were bad people.

Well, I figured out that’s not true. So I’ve been manipulated in a relationship. And this guy is doing the exact same thing. And he is sketch as f*ck. And I’m just watching her go through this, and the pain she is feeling, and it’s so f*cking sad. It’s so sh*tty when people have to go through this and there’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing you can do to help their pain through it. And all I want to do, because I have his number, is just text him, and say, “I curse the day you were born.” And if you don’t know what that line is from, well you need to watch more Sex in the City, obviously. The movie. But I curse the day he was born. Because he sucks. And you’re just not supposed to be mean to people. People that you say you love.

So I curse the day he was born, and I hope he poops his pants someday. That’s all I have to say about that. That’s just what’s been going on over here. And I feel like I’ve been not hanging out on social media much because I’m just trying to hang out with her, and hopefully ease her pain that she’s going through. I just want him to poop his pants. So anyways. Another thing that’s been going on. I know you do not care about any of this. But you know, that’s what happens, ok.

So, my hairstylist just went on maternity leave. So she had to pass me off to someone else at the salon. I just got my hair done by her yesterday. And I do not like it. It’s fine. But I don’t like it. And my cleaning lady just went on maternity leave. Why does everybody have to have babies and go on maternity leave? I get it. Everybody needs maternity leave. I’m not dissing maternity leave. It’s just, why does everybody have to have babies? Just don’t have babies so we can just hang out and do our hair and help me be clean because I destroy my kitchen every 46 seconds. Baby problems, man. They get in the way. They really, really do.

1. Birth control update [16:02]

Oh, speaking of babies. I’ve been getting a couple of questions of this, just because I touched on this on my podcast before. And people have been asking questions about it. So, I got off birth control a few months ago. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to have babies, obviously. I got off birth control. Long story short, sh*t happened with our insurance so we got kicked off our insurance, and it just at the same time I was supposed to renew my birth control or whatever. Get new pack. And so I was out of birth control, and I was like, well I’ve wanted to clear my system of this pill birth control for a long time. So I’m going to get it out of my system and decide what I want to do. And people are like, “How are you not getting pregnant?” Well I’m not f*cking dumb. I’ve gone 30 years without getting pregnant. Well, I guess I wasn’t haven’t sex for a good chunk of that time. But still. I’ve gone a long time without getting pregnant. I know how to not get pregnant. So that’s how we’re not getting pregnant. And I still am trying to decide.

Oh; I was going to talk about symptoms. Coming off the birth control I was very emotional for that first month. And that was about it. I had a little worse cramps than I usually do. Nothing really else changed. Everything else was about the same. I went back to normal cycle. I’m just a little bit; I feel like I’m just a little bit bitchier when it’s that time of the month. But that eases pretty quickly, but I definitely have some b*tch to me. But I think I always just have some b*tch to me. I mean, I deal with people on the internet all day every day. It comes with the territory, and it’s pretty easy to become a pessimist.

So, no big changes. And now I’m just trying to find a new doctor. We got new health insurance, and I’m trying to find a new doctor. But not really trying, because I haven’t really looked at all. And I just hate dealing with insurance and having to find a doctor that takes your insurance. I just don’t care enough. I live a very healthy lifestyle. I haven’t had any issues yet, knock on wood, so I have just been putting it off. Now I have travel coming up.

But a bunch of people have recommended Mirena, the IUD. And I think it’s progesterone. I forget. But it’s something that Liz Wolfe recently said is better for you. {laughs} So I was thinking about looking into that one, because I wanted to do the copper IUD, which is no hormones, just copper. And I haven’t heard anybody have a good experience on that. Like, absolutely miserable. So I thought about Mirena. And I don’t know much about it. But I just thought about it. I haven’t looked into it at all. But I thought about the whatever they give you that goes in your arm and releases birth control. It goes into your arm. {laughs} Good explanation. It goes right into, kind of by your biceps, and yeah. It just gives you birth control that way.

So I thought about that one. But still trying to figure it out. But I’m not really trying to figure it out. So maybe someday. But in the meantime, I’m just not being stupid, and not getting pregnant. Because I know how to do that. And I think that’s that. That’s all I have. That’s all I got. Breakups, birth control, bad hair, upcoming trips. That’s what’s going on.

And no bachelor this week, which I’m so annoyed with. Just because there was July 4th on a Tuesday, means you don’t have to have your show on a Monday? You’re being f*cking lazy, ABC. I know you gave us two episodes last week, but you’re being lazy. So I’m pissed about that. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be in the Caribbean when the finale is going on. So I honestly might just look at Reality Steve and see who wins. Because what am I going to do? I just don’t know. It’s such a dilemma in my life. Such a dilemma!

2. A better relationship with food [20:89]

Ok. So, today I was like, what the hell am I going to talk about on my podcast? I really need to start bringing on a couple more guests, because I’m running out of things to talk about other than just myself. Because I’m such a f*cking only child, and I can just talk for billions of years. But today, I was thinking we talk about creating a better relationship with food. Because, in my day to day, and the people I deal with online, and the people I see at my gym, I know that most human beings, even when they’re in the fitness community and their eyes have been opened to what overall health is, a lot of people still have a negative relationship with food. And I had a really bad relationship with food for probably 25 years. And I’m 29 now. It took me a long time to get comfortable with the idea that food was actually good for you. And understanding that, and getting rid of the thought that I had to starve myself. Because that’s what I was taught my whole life. That’s what I saw everyone do. My peers, adults, TV. Everyone said that if you want to lose weight, you have to not eat. You have to be unhappy. You have to not eat carbs. These are the things I saw daily in reality TV shows.

I remember, even watching the Hills, and Lauren Conrad saying, “I haven’t eaten carbs in blah, blah, blah,” or something like that. And I’m like, oh. I shouldn’t be eating carbs. I just didn’t understand that there could be a healthy relationship with food. Nobody gave me the tools to see that and to understand that. So I wanted to talk about that and just talk about my own experience, and what ways I have created a healthy relationship with food. And why I always have to fight that. I have to fight for that relationship. I guess it’s like marriage. You’ve got to f*cking fight for it. Because it will push back. It will suck at some point. The bodies will change. You’ll give birth to a human, and your hormones will be f*cking crazy. And this good relationship you had before is altered. It’s just like marriage. Food is just like marriage. Take my word for it, guys.

So anyways. I have just come, I think, a really long way with food. And I want other people to experience that. So I just want to talk about kind of the key factors that have really helped me. So let’s do the backstory. Sorry if you’ve heard this podcast already; this topic already. If I’m just beating around the bush. I don’t know what it’s called. So I grew up with tons of eating disorders and just hating myself. I hated everything about myself. I remember thinking at one point, I was really trying to change my attitude about myself and how I viewed myself. And I was like, ok. You need to tell yourself three things you like about yourself. And I couldn’t even say three things I liked about myself. That’s how much I hated myself. I hated the way I looked. I just didn’t feel comfortable in my skin. And I didn’t know how to change that.

So I had this very negative relationship with food, because I loved food. I love food so much. Food is life to me. Food is everything. It’s relationships. Food is just everything to me. Obviously, I have a food blog. And I remember people telling me that was weird when I was like, what are we going to have for dinner? When we’re eating lunch. My friends would be like, why are you even talking about dinner? And I still get that now. But now I just don’t get offended. But I was like, god I am weird. Nobody is obsessed as me. Thank god the internet showed me that many people are as obsessed as I am.

So I grew up with a very negative relationship with food. I saw women in my life who had a very negative relationship with food and their body, and that kind of wore off on me a little bit, too. So I starved myself. I limited my calories. I tried to be bulimic, I just couldn’t do it. I binged. I just did all the crazy things that you do, that you might do, as a teenager. And I know a lot of teenagers who have done that kind of crazy stuff. So very bad relationship. Get to college, still a pretty negative relationship. And I started working out. But it was like, it was to punish myself. Working out was punishment. It was like, you don’t look good enough. You’re not good enough, so you have to workout. It wasn’t a positive relationship whatsoever.

So, I would punish myself in the gym doing things that I hated. Whatever, like Stairmaster for like 2 hours. And I just didn’t like being there that much, but I made myself do it. And I still ate really sh*tty. And I didn’t understand what real food was. I didn’t grow up on real food. I grew up on oatmeal cream pies, and peanut butter sandwiches with chocolate chips. I grew up on sh*tty food, probably because I was such a pain in the ass child, and wouldn’t eat anything. So my mom is just like, get some f*cking food in you.

So I grew up on sh*tty food most of the time. And I didn’t know how to eat once I was on my own. So, I started cooking recipes, just trying other people’s recipes. But it was like, back then, lasagna and pasta dishes. That’s kind of what you do in college. And this relationship of hating myself continued. And thinking that food was the enemy. So it was the vicious cycle of trying not to eat anything at all. And then I would eat everything because I was starving. It was just such a negative, negative relationship. I can’t believe I lived like that for so long, now looking back. And it wasn’t; I went through these stages through college. I found the Zone Diet, and after the Zone Diet I found the paleo diet.

So, Zone is kind of like Weight Watchers; they have points, Zone has blocks. So you’re kind of just getting your food in moderation. You’re getting portion control more than anything. And then paleo, that was like really, really scary to me. I was like, I could never do that. That’s so impossible. I could not cut out cheese, I could not cut out bread. What would I ever eat? The normal sh*t that people go through when they start paleo. Thinking that there’s nothing to eat. {laughs} It’s like, there’s everything to eat. It’s just you have to use your brain. Just not getting something out of the vending machine and opening up a box. You actually have to work for it.

So I found paleo. Started doing paleo. And I still; my body changed. I found CrossFit. My body changed even more. And I still had this negative relationship with food, because my body was getting pretty f*cked up from the hormones due to over exercising. And really f*cking up my hormones through that. So I was gaining weight, and that created even worse relationship with food. So I limited my carbs and I was like, I can’t have any carbs. I need to limit how much food I’m eating. If I’m still hungry, it’s just because I need to get my portion control under wraps. I was just doing this negative thing. And then I would binge. It was just this crazy vicious cycle that went on until I was probably 25.

It wasn’t until I was like, f*ck this. Whatever I’m doing isn’t working, obviously. I work out so hard and I’m eating healthy, so what is the f*cking deal? And it was that I was working out too much, and I wasn’t eating enough. And I actually needed to eat more. So one day, I was like f*ck this. I am just going to live a better life. I’m going to take rest days. I’m going to lift less. I’m going to put less strain on my body. I’m going to sleep more. I’m going to eat what my body is craving. I’m going to listen to my body. And I think a lot of people have a hard time with listening to what your body is wanting, versus craving. Because there’s the difference of craving sugar, because you’ve taught your body to want it. Just like drugs. Versus your body wants carbs because you had a really hard workout today. There’s a difference, and it’s hard to find that.

So what my f*ck it moment was, I was like, I’m not doing this anymore. I’m going to take care of my body. I’m going to listen to it. And I’m going to think of food how it was intended to be. Meaning, it’s intended to be fuel. You need food to live. You need food to thrive. You need food to be able to think. To stand upright. To function. To have any sort of relationship. You need food to have a life for yourself. And I thought of food as this negative thing. But when I was eating the food that my body needed, then I was able to see it as what food really is. And it’s fuel, and it’s energy.

So when I was able to change my viewpoint on what food is, instead of being this negative, “I’m going to gain weight. I hate myself.” Instead of seeing it like that, I finally saw it as fuel that I just worked really hard, and I need to fuel that body, so I can do everything. I can have energy to work long hours. I can have energy to keep pushing on with my work. I can have energy to go wake surf with my husband all day. I have energy to do stuff. And that’s what food became to me, as fuel and energy. And I had to change that viewpoint. And I’ve heard this, my friends Joy and Claire on Girls Gone WOD podcast. They talk about this before. You have to stop thinking as food as this transactional thing. And before it was like, “How many calories am I going to burn in the gym. So I can eat less calories than that so I can lose weight.” It was always this transactional thing. Until I just was like; no. Food is fuel. I need food to nourish my body correctly.

And that’s when I started eating more carbs. I probably started eating more food in general. And I stopped wasting energy and time thinking about how my body wasn’t good enough. I stopped putting that emphasis on stress and cortisol in my body with stressing out about it. And that was when my body started to change. And that was at about 25.

So stop thinking of food as the enemy. You have to stop thinking of it as that. Because it’s really not. If you are fueling it with the food that your body needs, and is correct for your body, it is not the enemy. So I think remembering that food is energy, and is fuel, and not thinking about it as the enemy is huge. That’s huge. Stop listening to the f*cking TV, when it comes on and it’s like, “Carb-free life” or “Limiting your calories.” All this stuff. Think of it as, food that you need to put in your body because you want to live the best life possible.

And these people who tell me at the gym all the time; all these people will have energy drinks. They’ll have like 5-hour energy. I’m like, why do you need that? They’re like, because I’m not sleeping and I’m super tired. It’s like, why are you not sleeping? There is a reason behind that. It’s not that your body just doesn’t sleep. Something is out of whack. And a lot of times, it starts with food. So if you can get the food first, so you’re actually fueling your body so it can get to a normal sleep rhythm, and it can be fueled throughout the day, then food is not the enemy. And you don’t have to turn to sh*tty energy drinks. I hate energy drinks. And believe me, I drank plenty of them in college. But as an adult, I’m so annoyed with people at the gym. I’m like, stop f*cking drinking Red Bull, ok? Just go watch the fun sports they do. That’s the only thing Red Bull should be doing. No offense to Red Bull; you guys have really cool outdoor sports games stuff.

3. Foods you should probably avoid [34:33]

Anyways. So now, we have food is fuel, and it shouldn’t be the enemy. I think it’s important to remember that if you are eating something like, whatever it is. Something that’s not the best food for you. Say you’re going to get fast food every day. Or on a regular basis. And it makes you feel bad; that is probably something you need to cut out. So if you’re eating food that’s not good for you, and you’re feeling sh*tty about it, and you know you shouldn’t be eating that. It creates this negative relationship. And it sabotages your daily and lifetime goals. Then stop eating it. Ok?

I say this because I, for so long, I have many sh*tty things that I ate in my life. But let’s go with pop. Let’s go with soda. I used to drink soda, pop, whatever you call it, all the time growing up. It was always in the house. I always bought it. I always got it when I went and ate out. And soda is so bad for you. And it is 100% not needed in your diet. It’s not needed. I don’t give a sh*t if it’s sugar free, because it is bad for you. Sugar free is bad for you. And you can do research on it. You can find out why sugar-free is bad for you. But you should not be eating sugar free, or regular sugar soda. And I was doing this for a long time. I drank pop for a long time. Even when I would get cocktails sometimes, I would still get pop in it. And I’m like, this doesn’t make me feel good. This isn’t good for me. So I’m not going to drink it anymore. I’m going to find other options, like getting soda water. Or sparkling water. And do that.

There’s this cool company out there now that’s called Spin Drift. And it doesn’t taste like soda, but it has fresh fruit crushed in it. So there’s like 1 gram of sugar, or something like that. But find other options. And I stopped drinking pop altogether. And I don’t ever drink pop. I think it’s gross. And I don’t think people should drink it.

And I’m the same way with fast food. I used to eat fast food constantly. And I know what it does to a body. And I know how bad it is for you. And I don’t want to have a negative relationship with food. So I stopped eating fast food. And even with gluten. Gluten is that one thing that I don’t want to ever eat. I don’t think it’s needed in the diet, and I don’t care about it, and I don’t want it in my body. So I cut that out. If there’s a wedding I go to, I always say wedding because it’s like the only time I really have cake and want to have cake. Like, regular gluten-filled cake. But I cut gluten out and then I’ll have a piece of cake, but I don’t have to feel negative about it because it’s not something I’m eating on a regular basis.

So I think it’s important to understand what food you should and shouldn’t be eating. And if a certain food makes you feel negative, then maybe that’s not the best food for you. And there’s that fine balance. Because I’ve talked myself into thinking that carbs were terrible when I really did need carbs. So I’m saying a food that’s not good for you. Maybe you shouldn’t be eating that.

And that kind of ties into alcohol. And I talk about alcohol a lot. I share cocktails on my blog on a regular basis, and I talk about that usually in the cocktail post. If your goal is to lose weight, and to live a healthier lifestyle, then you need to get rid of alcohol. If you want to gain muscle. If you want to see a change in your physique, you have to get rid of alcohol. And nobody wants to hear that. And nobody wants to believe that. But it is the honest truth. And a lot of times, people drink because it’s a social thing. But if alcohol is making you depressed, because it is a depressant, and your making bad food decisions when you’re drunk. Which is what I did, and have done in the past. Then maybe alcohol is something you shouldn’t have in your diet on a regular basis. Because it’s just not something that you process well.

My husband likes to drink. My sister-in-law likes to drink. Like last night, we were all 3 hanging out together. And they both have a drink. What do I do? I get a Hail Mary’s little chocolate cup. That is my alcohol. That’s my treat, is getting a little dessert versus a drink. Because a drink doesn’t make me feel good. And having this little paleo dessert does make me feel good. It makes my mind feel good. It makes my body feel good. I’m not littering it with weird sh*t. And alcohol doesn’t make me feel the same. So, I remind people with alcohol, because we forget about alcohol a lot. And the relationship it can cause with food. And the decisions that we make when we do drink alcohol. Not everybody does that, but I know a lot of people make bad decisions with food if they’re drinking alcohol. So that’s kind of something to look into. If you are making decisions and you are feeling a negative relationship with food, or you’re feeling bad the next day, then maybe alcohol is not the best choice for you. Just an idea.

4. Think about what’s going on in your life [40:19]

This is a huge one. This is going psychologist on people. I do not have a degree in any of this. Well, health and exercise science, so kind of. But, for me, I wasn’t able to have a healthy relationship with food until I was able to see what behaviors and what things in my life were causing this negative relationship with food. A lot of times, people have issues with food because they are unhappy in a part of their life. Maybe you have lost a friend, a family member. Maybe you’re going through a divorce. Maybe there’s something that is traumatic in your life at that point, and is causing you to maybe turn to food in a negative way.

Think about it. How many movies have you seen where a person goes through a breakup, and their friend gets them ice cream? We give them food. Even when my friend was going through this breakup, I was like, maybe I should get her ice cream. That’s what I thought about right away. I’m like, that is not what we need to turn to, is food. Because there’s a negative point in our lives we turn to food to really change that behavior, and change that upset that’s happening in our life. And I did that for a long time. I just turned to food. I was unhappy in my own life, and I ate food to get those endorphins back up. And as soon as the food would end, those endorphins would go away, and so I’d want it again. So I would eat more. And eat more. And those behaviors are coming from somewhere deep inside. You have to figure that out.

Maybe you’re in a bad relationship. I speak that from experience of being in a bad relationship, or an unhealthy relationship. And so I used food as my crutch. And it just became this negative, overpowering relationship with food. So I think you need to remember that a lot of times we turn to food for a negative reason, because of something that’s happening in our own life, and it’s coming from deep inside. And those are things that you need to face head on; not through eating sh*tty food. And not just say, I’m going through a breakup so I’m going to eat really sh*tty and make myself feel even worse. That’s not what we should be doing.

It wasn’t until probably that, maybe a year after dating my husband. I was in a bad place for a while, and I hated myself. And my husband was like, no more. You’re not doing this. I’m not dealing with it, you’re not doing this. If you want to hate yourself, then you can do it by yourself, but I’m not supporting it at all. And I had to change around that personality trait that I taught myself for so many years. And I had to say, ok I’m in a happy point in my life and I want to become happier. And I’m not going to pull myself down and sabotage myself.

So remember that those behaviors and those food addictions can sometimes come from something that’s happening in our own life, and we kind of have to just face that. And that’s my psychology of the day. You know, I really helped out here.

Ok, more stuff. So here’s the other thing. So many people, I see this all the time, will say, I just ate whatever. I just got really drunk and I had 3 pizzas, and I already did it so I might as well just keep this going. I might as well just keep this weekend going. This sh*tty habit going. And I’ll get my life back together Monday. And I’ve done that many times myself. So, remember to not dwell on these decisions that we make. You have the brain power to make a decision. You can decide to eat something or not eat something. You have the power to do whatever you want and put whatever you want into your body. So if you made the decision to eat 3 pizzas; ok. Time to move on from it. It’s not like you have ruined your entire life, and you might as well keep this f*cking ball going. I hate when people do that. You made a decision. Ok. Let’s get back on.

I don’t really like this, the 80/20 thing. But I’m a firm, 80/20. I try to eat as healthy as possible as much as possible. So when those situations come up, when there’s only pizza at a party. Or we’re on the boat, and there’s not many options, whatever, and I didn’t plan ahead. That when I do eat something, I don’t have to dwell on it, because I’ve eaten so healthy leading up to that moment in time. And then what do I do? I get home. I make something that I know is good for myself. And I get back on that feeling better and feeling happier by eating food that I’m supposed to eat. So don’t dwell on things. We all make decisions, and we all have to choose something. Sometimes we don’t have the best food available. But if you’re eating healthy most of the time. Then it’s going to be much easier to get past that sh*tty time that you went through. And that upset. And that fast food that you had to go through.

So I hope that kind of makes sense. Just not dwelling, and saying, ok, I already sabotaged my diet. Let’s sabotage it more. What are you doing? It’s like, oh I just got in a car accident, I’ll just get into one more on my way home. What? You would never f*cking say that. So why are you saying it with food? It’s the same thing. You are car wrecking your body by putting sh*tty food into it. So why would you continue to do it? Why not say, ok. Whatever. I ate sh*tty food. I’m going to get back on getting some meat and vegetables in my body and feeling better. Does that make sense? Don’t car crash twice. Car food crash. Food. Whatever.

5. Comparison is the thief of joy [47:19]

The other thing is so important {laughs} and you see this happen all the time. And I do this myself all the time, even. The same thing. Do not compare your eating habits, or your decisions, or what you can or can’t have to anyone else. Because their body has nothing to do with your body. So often. How often have you looked at someone and is like, “That person eats McDonald’s every single day, and she looks amazing. Why can’t I do that? This makes no sense. Life is not fair!” I still do that to this day. I can think of a girl at the gym right now who drinks hard every weekend, and who eats sh*tty food, and she looks f*cking amazing. But, she has nothing to do with me. {laughs} Absolutely nothing to do with me. So sure, I can be like, “What the f*ck?” But then I go back and still eat what is best for my body.

And then on the other side, I’ll have friends who I’ll go out with. I was just at an event a couple of weeks ago and one of my friends barely eats anything. And is barely eating any of her meal, and we had a 3 or 4 course meal or something. She’s barely eating any of it. So then a part of me, going back to my childhood feelings, and seeing my friends or my peers not eating. I was like, “Oh, I shouldn’t be eating either.” And I’ll feel that way. So I’m like, I’ll see this friend not eating. And I’m like, f*ck. Should I feel bad that I am eating? And I’m eating everything on my plate and finishing it all. Should I feel bad about that? No. I know what my body needs because I listen to it. And I know that I work hard in the gym, and I need to fuel it, and I need to eat this and not eat that.

I’m thinking about this one dinner. It had this crazy chocolate cake at the end. So I ate the chocolate shell on the outside and not the cake, because I don’t need this gluten cake that makes me feel really sick to my stomach. I just need a little bit of chocolate so I’m enjoying the 4-course meal that we just had without missing out on anything. Feeling like I missed out on stuff. And I’m going to finish almost everything on my plate of all those other plates that were served to us. And even though she’s not eating, it has nothing to do with me.

So stop looking at what other people are doing. Don’t care what other people are doing. If they’re helping you understand food a little bit better, cool. But comparing yourself to others gets you nowhere. And I’ve said this time and time again. Because comparison is the f*cking thief of joy. Somebody told me that one time. Comparing is the thief of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy. And it really is. Because I’ll look at if somebody is not eating something, I’ll feel like maybe I shouldn’t. Or if somebody eats sh*tty food, I’m like, well I should be able to do that too. I work just as hard as them in the gym. Or whatever bullsh*t that you can think up in your head. Stop thinking that stuff. Concentrate on what you can do.

There’s this other girl at our gym. She said something when we were out recently with a bunch of friends. A bunch of people were telling her to drink and just to have pizza with them. And she’s like, I can’t f*cking eat pizza like you guys. I have to keep my diet cleaner to get where I want to. And she looks amazing. And she’s worked so hard on cleaning up her diet and working hard in the gym. She doesn’t compare herself to other, and dwell on what others can or can’t do. She just concentrates on herself, and she is f*cking crushing it. Not only in the gym, but she feels so much better in her skin. Because she’s like, I can’t drink and just eat pizza like you guys. I have to grab the sh*t at Whole Foods and still enjoy my time with you guys. But I have to eat something different because my body is different.

So concentrate on you. Just concentrate on you, ok? That’s all you’ve got to do. Enjoy your life. And concentrate. So let’s review. Let’s review before I end this podcast. So I can get it up this shower, and I can shower this spray tan off, because I’m sticking to literally everything.

So review. Remember, food is fuel. It’s not the enemy. And if it is the enemy, then it’s maybe something you shouldn’t be eating. Just think about if you’re eating this sh*tty ass pizza every Friday night because you just drank super heavily and then you hate yourself Saturday morning. If you have a negative relationship and food feels like the enemy, maybe those are some of the foods you should be cutting out of your diet. Think about it that way. I’m not saying that we should never enjoy situations. But I’m saying you have to find that balance. And find that fine line. And find what’s not good for you, and what’s best for you.

Let’s see. So food is not the enemy. Food is actually energy. Stop thinking of it as a transactional thing. Joy and Claire would say it much more eloquently than me. Girls Gone WOD podcast. If you’re having this negative relationship with food, maybe think about what’s going on in your own life. And if you are using food to deal with an upset in your own life, you need to think of it and see it differently. So really changing your behaviors and using food as fuel and not a negative thing is huge. Think about alcohol. Is alcohol changing your relationship with food? Really think alcohol really does make a huge difference in people’s lives. So it can be really bad. It can be really good, but it can be really bad, too. So keep that in mind.

And remember the more long-term behaviors you keep up with, the positive behaviors with food. Eating healthy, taking care of yourself, and eating healthy on a daily basis, on a regular basis. So when you go to a party and you have something that you normally wouldn’t eat, it’s not a big deal because you take care of yourself the rest of the time. So if you can keep up these long-term, healthy behaviors regularly and not just sabotage the body, then you’re able to eat and not feel like you’re sabotaging. If that makes sense.

And stop f*cking comparing. Do not compare yourself to anyone else ever. Because no one is like you. And that’s the thing. Nobody is like you. That’s it. I guess maybe if you were a twin. Identical twin. But that’s a whole nother science that I don’t f*cking know anything about. And I don’t know many things. But, that’s that guys. That is how I have created a better relationship with food. Stop thinking of it as a negative thing. Think of it as the way that you get to take care of yourself every day, and how lucky you are to actually have a meal every single day. I went there. I went there, guys.

So that’s that. I need to go pack. I need to coach this weekend, so I’ve got to start packing now. I need to do some laundry. I’ve got to go to the mall. I’ve got to get this podcast up. I’ve got to work on some blog posts. I’ve got sh*t to do, man. It’s Saturday! What’s Saturday for? Work. Because my husband works, too. So I’m just working away.

I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. I hope everything’s great. And yeah. That’s that. I’ll talk to you guys soon. Next week I was going to do my favorite things podcast, and talk about things that I’m loving right now. So stay tuned for that. Follow me on Instagram stories, because I will be sharing my trip and all the restaurants and things that I do in Santa Ynez, if I’m saying that correctly. I have no idea. But I’ll be sharing my experience there and kind of doing a little review on the blog. So follow along on my Instagram stories. Because I’ve been doing that as much as possible.

Ok. I have to pee. I have to go. I hope you have a great day. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye-bye for now.