Deep Chats w/ My SIL – Episode 86: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast

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I’m PUMPED about this podcast! I’ve wanted to bring my sister-in-law on the podcast for a while now and it finally happened! We talk all things pop culture like the Royal Wedding, Jersey Shore, John Cena and Nikki Bella break-up and make-up, then we talk about first meeting each other, things we are loving right now plus the things that aren’t working for us. Excited to hear what you guys this of having her on and if forcing her on the podcast should be a regular occurrence! Enjoy!

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Big thank you to this week’s sponsors!

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Episode 86 Transcription!

This episode of PaleOMG Uncensored is brought to you by Aaptiv. Aaptiv produces audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. New members get 30% off an annual membership. Visit Aaptiv.com/PaleOMG.

This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

Juli Bauer: Ok. Welcome to another episode of PaleOMG Uncensored. I might sound like I have a strain in my voice, because yesterday we recorded this podcast. We got 40 minutes in, and then my computer froze like a real mother f*ck.

Cara: Dick.

Juli Bauer: Oh, it’s the worst. So, ok, let’s start from the beginning. Today is a very special podcast, because I have my sister-in-law on. Right now, we are sitting her apartment, with Jackson at our feet, because he goes everywhere with us. And there are cleaners at my house, and people installing a garage door. So the house was not going to work. So now we’re on her couch instead.

I’ve asked her to be on my podcast for a while, now. And I pretty much just forced her to be on it this week.

Cara: Just running out of options, now.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} The problem is I just hate everyone, so it’s hard to interview people. I like Cassy; I’ve had Cassy on a couple of times.

Cara: She’s great.

Juli Bauer: Vanessa.

Cara: The best.

Juli Bauer: You know Vanessa. Lexi; you haven’t met Lexi.

Cara: I haven’t, but she sounds wonderful.

Juli Bauer: She’s great. So it’s a limited pool. Limited.

Cara: I’m in good company.

Juli Bauer: Yes you are. So I wanted to have you on the podcast because you’re fun. You’re a lot more fun than I am.

Cara: That’s true.

Juli Bauer: But, let’s get over yesterday and the podcast erasing. We moved everything as far away as possible so we couldn’t’ touch any cords. Because I touched a cord and that’s how it froze. We have Kathie Lee and Hoda in the background. Love them.

Cara: Love them.

Juli Bauer: Who is your favorite out of the two of them?

Cara: Hodes.

Juli Bauer: She’s so great! Brian said he doesn’t like her.

Cara: What?

Juli Bauer: What’s up with that?

Cara: He’s dumb. How could he not like her?

Juli Bauer: Right? I was like; Hoda just took Matt Lauer’s job, who sexually molested. Whatever he did. You have to like Hoda.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: She’s like a pure soul.

Cara: She’s so cute.

Juli Bauer: She just adopted a little baby.

Cara: I know. She’s so cute. How does he not like her?

Juli Bauer: Ugh, I don’t know. Did you see on the news this morning? Morgan Freeman is now getting…

Cara: What?

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Cara: But that’s not… is that a surprise to anybody? Isn’t he hooking up with his granddaughter or something?

Juli Bauer: What? Ok, rewind. Is this rumors? Hooking up with his granddaughter; what are you talking about?

Cara: I’m pretty sure he was somehow, it’s his granddaughter. Let’s look into it.

Juli Bauer: Mm, I’d rather not. That’s disgusting. Well, he’s in trouble now. So anyway, I wanted to record a podcast with Cara, and to make up for the fact it erased yesterday, we’re drinking some cold-brew coffee or regular coffee or something.

Cara: It’s your recipe. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: But it didn’t have sweet cream?

Cara: They didn’t have cold brew, so it’s just drip coffee over ice.

Juli Bauer: Oh, ok. This coffee from Just Be Kitchen; they use one of my recipes at the restaurant. Their sweet cream cold brew collagen coffee. There are like 47 words to it. So we’re going to be hopped up like a motherf*cker soon. And might have to run to the bathroom, as well. To do some things. Like urinate.

Cara: Ok. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Oh; ok, before we get started. I’ve said this for like 5 minutes already. I told you this already, but I think this is great. I talked on my Instagram stories; if you follow me on Instagram stories, I was talking about this girl at the gym who, I went to the bathroom after her. And at our gym, it’s the sketchiest f*cking nastiest bathroom.

Cara: Can you just ask her?

Juli Bauer: I don’t know her, personally. She’s a fit member, so I’ve never met her. So I go into the bathroom after her. She didn’t take a poop. You know, you can just tell when someone took a poop. She peed, but she left this lovely smell. So everyone was like; Juli. It’s poo-pourri. And everyone kept tagging me in poo-pourri. And even my nail tech was like; poo-pourri is the best.

Cara: Really?

Juli Bauer: And poo-pourri reached out to me, and they’re sending me a little care package of poo-pourri.

Cara: {laughing} I can’t wait to try it.

Juli Bauer: Me too. I’ll test it. You go poop, use poo-pourri beforehand, and I’ll walk in after you and see if I can tell.

Cara: So she’s just this dainty little girl, and she just takes this bottle with her everywhere she goes?

Juli Bauer: So that’s what I was like; ok, she has spandex on. A little tiny T-shirt. And somebody was like; there are little tiny ones.

Cara: Oh.

Juli Bauer: And also someone told me that you can use Summer’s Eve wipes and that leaves a good smell. Or you can spray your underwear with Summer’s Eve stuff.

Cara: Huh.

Juli Bauer: I’ve just never thought this much about my butthole or my underwear. It’s like; I’m sorry, I have to poop sometimes. And I’m going to poop where I need to poop.

Cara: Sometimes it’s the worst. Like, remember when you pooped at Sarah’s house, and they didn’t have matches or spray.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, and then Sarah lit a match. She was embarrassed by me. I was like what the; I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Cara: It’s the worst when you can’t cover it.

Juli Bauer: You can’t give me coffee and expect things not to happen. Or I get very nervous at the gym.

Cara: But who doesn’t have spray in their guest bedroom? Bathroom?

Juli Bauer: I don’t. I have matches.

Cara: Same thing.

Juli Bauer: Ok. That’s true. And now I’m going to put poo-pourri in there.

Cara: Yes.

Juli Bauer: Yes. Ok, I can’t wait to tell you guys how it is. I wish this was an add. That would be really cool.

Cara: It could be.

Juli Bauer: Maybe. Ok, so let’s go back to the beginning of our relationship.

Cara: OK.

Juli Bauer: That was back in 2012, I believe. Maybe I met you a little bit after, like in 2013, when Brian and I were full on boyfriend and girlfriend. So, do you remember the first time we met?

Cara: I do.

Juli Bauer: Where was it.

Cara: It was at the grand opening. The re-grand opening of Brian’s shop. Do you want to tell the story? {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Ok. I really hope Brian never listens to this podcast. Which, he doesn’t, but sometimes he randomly will listen to one. Like, I think he listened to one.

Cara: I feel like it’s been long enough.

Juli Bauer: It has been. And he’s the most busy human being on earth. He has no time to listen to his wife talk about pooping, you know.

Cara: Yeah, right.

Juli Bauer: No time. So, there was the re-grand opening because Brian’s business moved. Oh my god, my face looks like this lady’s. Oh my god, this lady is like 65; holy sh*t. That’s my face!

Cara: You kind of look like Deadpool.

Juli Bauer: Oh my god! I just got a peel and a laser treatment, and Cara told me I look like a young 65-year-old yesterday. And it’s no better today. It’s no better. Do I look any better?

Cara: No, you look like Deadpool.

Juli Bauer: Deadpool! That I got my face; oh, that’s so sad. But I love Ryan Reynolds. But we’ll talk about Deadpool later.

Ok, so Brian’s store was moving, reopening. And it’s funny because I never talk about what Brian does here, and people ask all the time and I just skip over that question. And people ask if he’s a CIA agent and that’s why I never share his face.

Cara: {Laughing} Witness protection program.

Juli Bauer: So I meet Cara and her mom. So my now mother-in-law. For the first time at this grand opening. I’m super nervous about it. It’s super scary, obviously. Hang out with them most of the day. Feel awkward; you know, the normal meeting. And then late that night, Brian decides to hop on a…

Cara: Dirt bike.

Juli Bauer: Dirt bike. I always forget what it is. A dirt bike and decides to then accidentally hit the go button, or whatever go. What’s it called?

Cara: The accelerator.

Juli Bauer: Accelerator. There we go. The go button.

Cara: The go button.

Juli Bauer: The go steering thing. Instead of the break, and he runs himself and his face into a metal fence. Not the greatest accident he’s ever had. So I’m inside with Cara and her mom, and one of Brian’s best friends walks in and says, “Juli I need to speak with you. Brian wants to talk to you.” So I go out, and Brian looks like a ghost. He looks like he died. He is Deadpool.

Cara: Bleeding from his face.

Juli Bauer: Bleeding from his face. Obviously has a concussion. He’s not doing very well. So I’m like; ok, we need to take him to a hospital. He’s like; my mom cannot know about this! She will freak the f*ck out! Because Brian and Cara’s mom is known to blow things out of proportion at times.

Cara: Yep.

Juli Bauer: Especially if your child is bleeding from the face. So Brian makes me take him home; because we’re not living together at this point. He makes me take him home to his place that he was living.

Cara: You guys don’t say bye to my mom. I’m trying to get her out, so she doesn’t know what’s happening. I’m like; we’ve just got to go. And trying to distract her and get her out of there.

Juli Bauer: And she keeps calling.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: So we just leave. I don’t even say bye to Cara or his mom that I just met for the first time. And everybody is calling, and Brian won’t answer. And I can’t answer. And I go home, and I ended up Facebooking you, right?

Cara: Yeah, you sent me a Facebook message.

Juli Bauer: Because we didn’t have each other’s numbers.

Cara: No, we had just met. And you were taking care of Brian. He has a concussion. Going to get him cleaned up, watch him through the night, make sure he doesn’t die. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Yeah! And at this point, Brian has a terrible concussion. He looks like sh*t. And he gets up to go to the bathroom at one point, and he faints, and hits his head again. {laughs}

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: It’s so sad. He still has a scar on his face. Did you know that?

Cara: I believe that. No.

Juli Bauer: So, yeah. It was interesting. Finally, you tell your mom, right?

Cara: Yeah, I finally told her. Because she’s like; I know something’s going on. What’s happening? And so I finally told her. And she was like; just glad that everything was ok. But we were like; you kind of freak out sometimes, and you didn’t want to see him the way he looked.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, he looked so bad. So that was my first experience with Cara. And then I met her again the second time at my brother-in-law’s high school graduation party. And I was so nervous. I didn’t know what to wear. I was at a very awkward stage of my life {laughs} because I was ending competing in CrossFit. I didn’t know how to dress. And Cara is super stylish, so I was uber nervous. And all your friends were there too; like Steph. It was very nerve wracking.

Cara: I’m sorry, boo.

Juli Bauer: Thanks. So what did you think of me when you first met me?

Cara: I loved you.

Juli Bauer: Wait, ok. Because you’ve said before that you thought I was a little young.

Cara: No, I never said that. Steph said that.

Juli Bauer: Oh. I thought you said that?

Cara: Nu-uh. Because you met Steph before I met you. And she was like; she said that. But I loved you.

Juli Bauer: And Steph is Cara’s best friend and best friends with Brian, too. So she’s like the best friend of the group.

Cara: Yeah. So you guys had met prior. She was like; I really like her, she’s just young. And she looks like Miley Cyrus. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Oh god! Ok. No joke, I was on the boat in; where was I just in the Caribbean. In Guadeloupe. And I tied that little scarf around my head, because I wanted my hair out of my face as the boat was driving. And one woman on the boat was like, “What’s up, Miley Cyrus?”

Cara: Really?

Juli Bauer: Ok. I don’t really take that as a compliment. Is it a compliment? Because I don’t.

Cara: Yeah. She’s cute. She’s pretty.

Juli Bauer: Mmm, did you hear that hesitation in your voice.

Cara: {laughs} It’s not a bad thing.

Juli Bauer: Whatever. {laughs}

Cara: But I told Brian after I met you. I was like, if you f*ck this one up, I’m choosing her over you.

Juli Bauer: Damn! That’s pretty rad.

Cara: Yeah. And he didn’t f*ck it up.

Juli Bauer: Have you ever been best friends, how we are now, with any of his ex-girlfriends.

Cara: No. Not this close. No.

Juli Bauer: Well I didn’t know, in college. Because then especially you’re partying hard. And it’s so easy to be best friends with everyone in college.

Cara: Yeah. I mean, I liked his college girlfriend. But you know, she’s not here anymore. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: {laughing} But, she’s not in the picture. So, I have to be friends with you know.

Cara and I; when Cara moved out from Nebraska. She was living in Nebraska, and she moved out here 3.5 years ago?

Cara: Yep.

Juli Bauer: Which is bananas it’s already been 3.5 years. So Cara and I didn’t know each other super well. We’d only hung out a few times. Then she moved out here, and you moved in with us in our apartment at the time. And then close, near. What am I trying to say? Right. {laughs}

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Not long thereafter, we bought our house, and so you moved into our house with us. So you were working weird hours. Because Cara was trying to find a job, so she was just working at a bar. And you were working these weird hours, so we would have a lot of time together and you would help me take my photos a lot of those days. So we just became closer and closer. And became the bestest of friends, at this point.

Cara: I miss those days.

Juli Bauer: We hang out all the time.

Cara: I know. But I wish we had bunk beds. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Right? We could still do that.

Cara: Ok.

Juli Bauer: I mean, Cara takes care of Jackson whenever we’re out of town, if my husband and I are both out of town. She is always with him. Jackson might love her more than me. It’s close.

Cara: It’s quite possible.

Juli Bauer: It’s quite possible. So anyway. What was it like, because I think a lot of people who listen are kind of around our age, and maybe thinking of making a move or are nervous too. So what was it like moving to Colorado? Because you were living in a Podunk little small town. I guess it’s not Podunk, but it’s pretty f*cking small.

Cara: It’s small.

Juli Bauer: Like, population what?

Cara: Maybe 30-40,000.

Juli Bauer: Oh sh*t! {laughs} I was thinking like 10.

Cara: Not that small.

Juli Bauer: Because it’s a college town.

Cara: It is a college town.

Juli Bauer: So it has college people there.

Cara: For sure.

Juli Bauer: And you stayed there after college.

Cara: Mm-hmm. Longer than I had anticipated.

Juli Bauer: That’s what boyfriends do, sometimes.

Cara: It happens. Moving here was the best thing I’ve ever done. I cried the whole way here.

Juli Bauer: And you drove here, obviously.

Cara: I drove here. I cried the whole way.

Juli Bauer: I had no idea you cried the whole time.

Cara: Yeah. But it was just because I was so scared. I had never done anything like that. Moved out of Nebraska. I was so excited, but it was mostly just because; it was when I was leaving Nebraska. All my good friends, and just starting a new chapter. It was just kind of; you don’t know what to expect you know. The unexpected.

Juli Bauer: Because you have no friends out here. You just had Brian.

Cara: We have a lot of high school and college friends out here. So it was easy because we already had a network out here. But still just moving and kind of taking that leap of faith, it was just. When you had kind of been so complacent for so many years. And just comfortable. And then doing something completely; you don’t know what’s going to happen next, and just taking that leap of faith. So it was so scary. But my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.

Juli Bauer: Really?

Cara: Yeah. I mean, I had tried to move out here a few times, and things had fallen through. And this time it was like; it’s happening no matter what.

Juli Bauer: You just quit your job, and just did it without even having a job lined up.

Cara: Right.

Juli Bauer: And it worked out.

Cara: It did.

Juli Bauer: And no we’re best friends!

Cara: Best friends!

Juli Bauer: Eee! So what’s your favorite part of living in Denver?

Cara: Well, Nebraska didn’t set my bar super high on standards. So there’s just so much to do out here. There’s always fun restaurants or bars. You can go to the mountains.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, you’re a big mountain girl.

Cara: We like to explore.

Juli Bauer: We’ve gone to a lot of mountain towns since Cara has been here that I’ve never even been to, and I’ve lived here in Colorado my whole life.

Cara: Yeah. So it’s so fun just do new stuff. And I think I told you this before; but if I look back at my Instagram, and it was just like; when I lived in Nebraska, all my pictures were inside. And since I’ve lived out here, you go through it and they’re all outside doing stuff. You know?

Juli Bauer: That’s so true.

Cara: So there’s just so much to do. And I love doing it all, because growing up in Nebraska, you don’t really get to do all that stuff.

Juli Bauer: And you can walk everywhere from your apartment. Which is the coolest.

Cara: Yeah, there’s so much. It’s so accessible.

Juli Bauer: So what has been the hardest part of living here? Have there been any hard parts?

Cara: I have a lot of parking tickets. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Oh my god, you do. God; Cara, I have a piece of mail for you. Cara’s mail still partly comes to our house, from when she first moved here. And there are a lot of parking ticket violation.

Cara: And tolls. The f*cking tolls.

Juli Bauer: Have you just not paid one toll and you keep getting a letter?

Cara: Why can’t they just have my information on file? Just charge it. I don’t get it.

Juli Bauer: I just don’t understand what toll roads you take? Because I think I’ve only ever taken one toll road in the 30 years I’ve lived here.

Cara: Yeah, I don’t know either.

Juli Bauer: What tolls are you on? There are no tolls.

Cara: I don’t know, sometimes I have to drive for work and go down south.

Juli Bauer: I don’t get it. That’s fair, at least.

Cara: Ok.

Juli Bauer: {laughs}

Cara: I expense it. But then I forget to pay it, and then I get late fees. It’s the worst.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. They’re going to boot your f*cking car.

Cara: I know.

Juli Bauer: That’s going to be the worst part of living in Denver, when you have a booted car.

Cara: I’m legit worried about that.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Why don’t you go and pay them?

Cara: It’s just such a hassle.

Juli Bauer: It’s gone up too high. It’s too far gone.

Cara: Yeah. I’m overwhelmed thinking about it. Anyway, parking tickets are a real thing here in Denver.

Juli Bauer: They love them.

Cara: There’s no parking anywhere, so the irony is…

Juli Bauer: Yeah, you’re f*cked no matter what. You could just be a bike rider. You could be a person who rides your bike everywhere.

Cara: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Ride your bike to; how many miles do I live away? Like 10 miles away?

Cara: Yeah, 7. It’s not so bad.

Juli Bauer: Not so bad.

Cara: Take Cherry Creek Trail.

Juli Bauer: OH yeah that’s true.

Cara: OK. I’ll go get a bike after this.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. And get snow tires.

Cara: Oh, hey! Did you see those little scooters they have around town now?

Juli Bauer: No.

Cara: They have; you know they have B-cycles. They now have scooters!

Juli Bauer: Shut up.

Cara: Likes Razors. You want to go Razor afterwards?

Juli Bauer: That sounds dangerous.

Cara: It sounds so fun.

Juli Bauer: I saw Laura yesterday, my best friend, and she has a cut on her arm from a San Diego scooter accident. Everybody gets in scooter accidents!

Cara: {laughing} Yeah.

Juli Bauer: What’s up with that? I don’t trust it. But let’s get one.

Cara: Yeah, let’s try it.

Juli Bauer: OK. I’ve always wanted to scoot around.

Cara: Like a Razor scooter? Not like motorized.

Juli Bauer: Oh. It’s a Razor scooter?

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Oh.

Cara: You’re less interested?

Juli Bauer: Yeah. What? Might as well bike. Razor scooters are stupid. I’m not 12.

Cara: Oh. It might have a motor, I don’t know. They’re brand new.

Juli Bauer: Ok, we’ll try them.

Cara: I just saw them on the walk back today.

Juli Bauer: Ok, we’ll try it.

Cara: From coffee.

Juli Bauer: Ok. I want to talk about some of the things that are happening in Hollywood. Social media realm. They’re really important stuff. Let’s first talk about the royal wedding. Because that’s on everyone’s mind. Do they get to go on a honeymoon?

Cara: I thought I read that they were going on a honeymoon.

Juli Bauer: Because they had something they had to go to.

Cara: I think it’s his dad’s birthday.

Juli Bauer: OH. I don’t know.

Cara: Yeah. He gave a speech for his dad’s birthday a couple of days after. But I don’t know. I thought I read that they were going on a honeymoon.

Juli Bauer: I wonder where they’re going. Do you think they had sex before marriage?

Cara: Yeah, of course.

Juli Bauer: Like, you’re 100%.

Cara: 100%.

Juli Bauer: Hmm. I wonder if they did? It just seems like…

Cara: Why wouldn’t they?

Juli Bauer: Well they’re just the royal family. Things are done…

Cara: He’s a party guy. She’s been married.

Juli Bauer: And what’s his face; his dad was cheating on Diana.

Cara: So that’s why they had sex?

Juli Bauer: Well it’s like he was having sex out of wedlock. Whatever, I don’t know what that means actually. What’s wedlock?

Cara: I don’t get it. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: He’s a cheater. Who do you think is hotter; Harry or whoever the other guy is?

Cara: Right now, Harry. Back in the day? The other guy. William.

Juli Bauer: Mm-hmm.

Cara: Old school William; he was handsome.

Juli Bauer: Do you think William would be hot still if he had hair?

Cara: {laughs} Yeah. He’d have a better shot. Like, why doesn’t he just get some hair?

Juli Bauer: It’s like, you have all the money in the world; get some hair plugs.

Cara: Get some hair. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: I wonder what plugs are like. I don’t even know how they do that.

Cara: I don’t either. But you look at pictures back in the day; he was quite a handsome fellow.

Juli Bauer: Real cute. Real cute. And harry was just the ugly ginger.

Cara: Yeah. But he’s kind of grown into it.

Juli Bauer: Are you attracted to gingers?

Cara: Gingers that are princes? Yes.

Juli Bauer: {laughing} Ok non-ginger princes?

Cara: No.

Juli Bauer: Me neither.

Cara: Just common day gingers?

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Cara: There are some good looking ones. But I typically like dark features on a…

Juli Bauer: Are you a big Ed Sheeran sexy kind of guy? Like, would you have sex with Ed Sheeran?

Cara: Is he singing to me?

Juli Bauer: No.

Cara: Oh, no.

Juli Bauer: If he’s singing to you, would you have sex with him?

Cara: I don’t know, I’d think about it. I’d consider it.

Juli Bauer: Oh man. He’s tough on the eyes. Great singer.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: The thing that’s really scary is; Brian, when he grows out his beard, he has a couple of red hairs in there.

Cara: I feel like a lot of guys do.

Juli Bauer: So if we ever have kids, what if we have a ginger?

Cara: Yeah. Don’t put that karma on yourself.

Juli Bauer: I’m just not into gingers. And I’m sorry; ginger babies are not cute. And I’m sorry to any of you guys out there who are gingers. I’m sure you’re very attractive. But you probably weren’t the most attractive baby. Like, Miranda’s baby in Sex and the City. That Chucky; he was Chucky.

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: That poor baby.

Cara: Yeah, it’s a tough go.

Juli Bauer: That was such; why’d they pick that baby?

Cara: But most of them have really great personalities. So. You know.

Juli Bauer: Because they’re making up for the fact they’re ginger? {laughs} My best friend is dating a ginger at this point. Jason is kind of a ginger. So if they get to work it out, they’re going to have ginger babies. I wonder if she knows that?

Cara: I think it’s a dominant trait, right?

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Cara: One of my best friend’s has red hair.

Juli Bauer: Who?

Cara: Kristi.

Juli Bauer: OH, I thought she was blonde. She’s strawberry blonde?

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Was she a horrifying baby? {laughs}

Cara: {laughing} I don’t know.

Juli Bauer: We need to get off this subject. I’ve lost at least half my following. The ginger line; trait line, is going strong at this point.

Cara: Yeah, you need to stop.

Juli Bauer: OK I’ve got to stop. So, what did you think of Megan Markle’s dress?

Cara: I love Megan Markle’s style. Just day to day; I love it.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. She’s chill as f*ck. She’s basic as f*ck.

Cara: Yeah, she’s so simple. Which, that’s so me.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, basic.

Cara: Basic and simple. I was surprised that her dress was so simple, and I was kind of confused on the fact that it didn’t fit better, for a princess. You know? You would think she would have the best fitting dress. I was surprised that it wasn’t tailored a little bit better.

Juli Bauer: Because that dress cost $150,000, I heard. How can it not be tailored so it gives you a figure?

Cara: Right. And she didn’t have a stitch of makeup on, I don’t feel like. But she rocked it.

Juli Bauer: No. She was like; hey, I’ll wear some Chapstick and four lashes.

Cara: Yeah. Good for her, you know. The whole world is watching and she’s like; hmm, nah. Au naturel.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, that’s a bold move. And good for her. I think I spent like 4 hours on my makeup for my wedding, and it looked like I wasn’t wearing that much. Which I guess is the point.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: What did you think of her second dress?

Cara: So I only saw the front of the second dress. I heard; was it backless?

Juli Bauer: I don’t know. I think it was. It looked like it would be.

Cara: But yeah, that one was really cute too. I don’t know that I would choose that one, but they’re both really simple. Which I like.

Juli Bauer: What would you choose for your dress?

Cara: Probably something I think in between those two.

Juli Bauer: In between those two? That’s a wide range.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: It gives no detail at all.

Cara: Yeah. I don’t know. I feel like simple, but maybe form fitting. But maybe a little bit more detail. I don’t know if I want long sleeve, and I don’t want a turtleneck. You know?

Juli Bauer: No, don’t get long sleeve. Don’t do long sleeve.

Cara: Or a turtle neck.

Juli Bauer: I’m kind of cool with turtlenecks. I’m digging them. A turtleneck on your wedding day; I mean, what is sexier?

Cara: Slut.

Juli Bauer: Slut! Oh, no. That’s going to get too off topic. We’ll get there in a second. What else? What else happened for the royal wedding? I was going to talk about cake, but I’m sure you don’t know anything about the cake so I don’t care.

Cara: Do you?

Juli Bauer: Yes.

Cara: What?

Juli Bauer: It was lemon and elderflower.

Cara: Oh yeah, I did hear that.

Juli Bauer: And it was; I forget how much it was. It was very expensive. Like $100,000 cake or something stupid.

Cara: Do you think it was good?

Juli Bauer: Yes.

Cara: You do?

Juli Bauer: I bet it was just like refreshing. We should make mimosas with elderflower. I haven’t done that in a while, and that’s so good.

Cara: Ok, let’s do it.

Juli Bauer: And we have a sh*t-ton of elderflower. Because you need half a teaspoon per year.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Ok. What about; we’ll move on from the royal wedding. Because it’s last years’ news.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: It’s over.

Cara: Over and done with.

Juli Bauer: And she’s married, ok.

Cara: But don’t you think it’s kind of cool that we got to see, in our lifetime, both of them get married. And there’s not another one that really anyone gives a sh*t about.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. We’re going to be dead as f*ck by the time their kids get married.

Cara: Yeah. But we got to witness it.

Juli Bauer: We did.

Cara: And we were alive when their mother was alive. It’s just, a great time in history.

Juli Bauer: Man. And you know, since they have nothing to do with the US, it is a great time in history. Why are we so obsessed with it?

Cara: I just feel like they’re so classy.

Juli Bauer: Because US people are not.

Cara: Right. And they have fun accents. But they’re just so open with everything. I love that they come out and greet the people. And here everything is so private.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, famous people love their privacy. F*ck them.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Ok.

I’m going to take a quick break to tell you a little bit more about this weeks’ sponsor, Aaptiv. Aaptiv produces audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. One of the best parts about the Aaptiv app is that you can work out anywhere, whether you’re traveling, or you just put the baby down for a nap, or you’re just feeling like working out in your living room, Aaptiv is ready for you any time.

Aaptiv has expert trainers to help you stay motivated and get you the best results from your workout. Plus they have a variety of classes and levels, so anyone can workout no matter what point you’re at in your own life. When you open the Aaptiv app, you’ll have a ton of different workouts to choose from. Pick running workout, or maybe strength training, indoor cycling, stair climbing, yoga, or even meditation. It’s like having your own personal trainer right in your pocket.

Once you pick your workout, you’ll have a certified personal trainer walking you through your audio-based workout. Plus Aaptiv has an in-house music production team, that partners with every trainer to create music playlists that are perfectly timed to the intensity and pace of your workout. When you need an extra boost, the music keeps you going and motivated. When you need to slow things down with the intensity of the music; the music comes down with you. It’s very nice.

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I’ve used Aaptiv myself when traveling, but I mostly love it for the stretching workouts. Because I never stretch after my CrossFit classes. With Aaptiv, I can turn on the app as soon as I get home from my workout, and go through stretches in under 10 minutes. It just makes it so easy.

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Juli Bauer: Let’s talk about Jersey Shore Reboot.

Cara: Yes!

Juli Bauer: How are you feeling about it so far?

Cara: Ok, I’m on board.

Juli Bauer: I love it.

Cara: This has turned into our pre-family night bachelor tradition.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Cara: You and I usually watch Jersey Shore before Brian gets home.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Because Brian gets very angry.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: He gets very angry when the Bachelor or Bachelorette is on.

Cara: He got on board a little bit towards the Bachelorette.

Juli Bauer: He tried. But he saw the worst season, too.

Cara: Yeah, it was terrible.

Juli Bauer: It’s not worth watching.

Cara: But he is not on board with Jersey Shore.

Juli Bauer: No. Which is so weird, because those characters are the best.

Cara: They’re so fun. So we usually try and sneak that in before he gets home. Have dinner. Then watch New Girl. But I’m on board with the reboot.

Juli Bauer: It’s so good.

Cara: It’s so fun.

Juli Bauer: Before I forget, have you seen the commercial for the new Bachelorette season.

Cara: No.

Juli Bauer: Oh my god, it’s super annoying. It’s the normal roses falling from the sky, and she’s like; let’s do the damn thing.

Cara: Do the damn thing. That’s her thing.

Juli Bauer: That’s it. That’s all we get.

Cara: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Jackson’s face is so close to the microphone. If you can hear him breathing. Ok, so Jersey Shore has been a train wreck. Because everyone, all these people pretty much have kids. And so now they’re away from their kids, and they are going ham.

Cara: Ham!

Juli Bauer: Because a lot of your friends have kids. Is this what your friends do?

Cara: When they’re not with their kids, I feel like they just black out. Drink their faces off.

Juli Bauer: Pee everywhere.

Cara: {laughs} Pee everywhere.

Juli Bauer: When we were in Mexico 5 years ago; which is crazy it was 5 years ago. That was when Brian and I made it serious, because I was going to a wedding with him. I was hanging out with all of his friends. Destination wedding in Mexico. And so all of his friends there all have kids. So they are going ham! And we get back from a catamaran tour, and one of the chicks pulls her dress up, at the hotel. At this beautiful hotel we’re staying at. And she pisses in the fountain.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: One of the other guys is pissing in the fountain.

Cara: People are peeing everywhere.

Juli Bauer: Peeing everywhere! And then one breaks over a light pole.

Cara: Yeah, the whole pole comes crashing down.

Juli Bauer: It was quite dramatic.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: All those friends were so intense. It was like I was an 18-year-old. And I was like that too.

Cara: At any given time you could look around, and somebody was either; some guy was pissing their pants, or girls were peeing in the fountain. Or someone was peeing somewhere else.

Juli Bauer: There was a lot of peeing. Peeing in the bed, I’m sure.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Was that the wedding that our friend Tommy, who married us. You were staying with Tommy? And he got the worst sunburn, and got so drunk that security just threw him in the room?

Cara: That’s the one.

Juli Bauer: See, that was such a mess. And he was so embarrassed. He was like; grumpy the rest of the trip because he was sunburned and embarrassed about his night one. Yeah. Really grown up. So pretty much like Jersey Shore. Jersey Shore has been amazing. Do you love this guy lifting?

Cara: It makes me feel so weird.

Juli Bauer: He’s not even standing up. Stand up all the way you pussy ass b*tch! He was doing a deadlift. Some random guy trying to break records on TV. Don’t care. So with Jersey Shore, who is your favorite character?

Cara: Pauly D!

Juli Bauer: The best.

Cara: So good.

Juli Bauer: His hair is so good.

Cara: It’s the worst.

Juli Bauer: Oh it’s so good.

Cara: Why couldn’t he just do the hipster Colorado coif? Like, you know.

Juli Bauer: I know, that’s big in Colorado.

Cara: He’s got good hair. Why doesn’t he just do that? Like the Ferris.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Ferris has great hair.

Cara: He does.

Juli Bauer: And could you imagine having sex with him and grabbing his hair?

Cara: It’s just hard.

Juli Bauer: Ugh!

Cara: It’s like plastic.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, like spikes go into your hand and you have to cut it out?

Cara: Yeah. Because I like playing with guys hair; you can’t do that with him.

Juli Bauer: Nope. It feels like a metal slate. It’s all I can picture.

Cara: Yeah. But good for him.

Juli Bauer: Speaking of guys; how’s your dating life going?

Cara: {laughing} That’s a nice little segue, huh?

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Because, I’ve tried to pawn Cara off on this podcast, and somebody reached out to me, because she has a brother in Idaho Springs that she’s trying to pawn off. And we can put them together. I emailed her back, but she hasn’t emailed me back. A lot of times my emails go to spam. So if you’re listening to this now, look at your spam folder and email me back. We can chat. And we’ll do a little set up. But, he’s a mountain man so he could be a creep. But you like the mountains.

Cara: I like my odds. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Yeah. So how’s dating been here in Colorado.

Cara: Oh man, dating. So, I’m dating.

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Are you dating a guy right now?

Cara: Yes. But not exclusively. But dating in general. Dating has been interesting. I went on a date, and one of the guy’s mother accompanied us. {laughing}

Juli Bauer: What? When did this happen?

Cara: I told you about this. It’s not as weird as it sounds. I know his mom. But it was still a set up.

Juli Bauer: That’s really weird.

Cara: Yeah. And his mom is a gem. But it was still a lot. I mean, who goes on a date with your mom?

Juli Bauer: Yeah, that’s my worst nightmare.

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: My very worst nightmare. Not your mom. She’s great. Oh, mom, I love you if you’re listening. {laughs}

Cara: {laughs} So it’s been interesting.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Not the most fun process?

Cara: No, I hate dating. It’s the worst.

Juli Bauer: And Cara is not the person to go on Match or Bumble or Tinder. She’s not a dating app kind of gal. She’s like; hey, if it’s going to happen it will happen, type of thing.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Super chill about it. When I was dating, I was like; this is literally the worst, I’m going to die alone style.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: And you’re the complete opposite. You’re super chill about it. You don’t freak out. You just live your life. And if someone comes along; cool. If not; cool. You’re really chill about that.

Cara: Thank you.

Juli Bauer: I have to pee so bad now. Jackson peed on Cara’s shoes.

Cara: Yeah, what the f*ck?

Juli Bauer: Cara; Jackson went up to pee in this tall grass, and Cara’s foot was underneath the tall grass.

Cara: Just minding my own business.

Juli Bauer: He’s not like a dog who pees on…

Cara: Yeah, he didn’t do it on purpose. That’s why it’s ok. But still, he full on peed on my foot. And then he came back over to smell like; I did that.

Juli Bauer: That’s such a shame. Ok, can we talk about Nikki Bella and John Cena. Are they or aren’t they?

Cara: On or off?

Juli Bauer: On.

Cara: I saw a picture of them in LA recently grabbing coffee. So I think they’re trying to work through it.

Juli Bauer: I really like John Cena.

Cara: I do too.

Juli Bauer: From everything on TV, he seems like a control freak in many aspects of his life. His house is incredibly clean. I guess if you’re rich as f*ck, you just have someone who does that.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: That would be a real cool life to live.

Cara: As the cleaners are at your house. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: That’s true. I do have cleaners at my house. But he has cleaners daily. Your house just doesn’t look like that.

Cara: That’s true. I think that’s why they broke up, because he’s such a control freak. And she was just like; I can’t be in your world anymore.

Juli Bauer: You have to be in mine.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: I used to think wrestling was super dumb until I started watching Total Divas and Total Bellas. And now I’m like; ok, I’ll watch Monday night RAW.

Cara: You’re into it.

Juli Bauer: I’m into it.

Cara: Good!

Juli Bauer: Because now I feel like I know the characters. The actual people.

Cara: Yeah, you’re invested.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Because it’s like football. All these guys look the exact same. They’re either fat or not. They all have helmets and bubble butts. How am I supposed to connect with these people?

Cara: Can’t relate.

Juli Bauer: No! I don’t care if it has their name on their jersey. I don’t know who the f*ck snagger-snogger is. I don’t know who that is.

Cara: I don’t either.

Juli Bauer: But if I have a face to someone, and I have a backstory of this person who lost his mom and is working to have; I don’t know. You know what I mean? You want to know a story.

Cara: Backstory.

Juli Bauer: And reality TV gives me that story.

Cara: It sure does! {laughs} Whether it’s true or not, it gives you a story.

Juli Bauer: It’s hard to know.

Cara: Yep. You’re invested. It’s working.

Juli Bauer: Did you see the episode on Total Bellas; and the answer is no because you don’t watch TV really. Where Bree Bella gives birth.

Cara: No.

Juli Bauer: Man. She did not make it look fun.

Cara: {laughs} I believe that.

Juli Bauer: And nobody has in the history of time that I’ve noticed, except for Kourtney Kardashian.

Cara: Yeah, no one is like; oh, it was great.

Juli Bauer: Kourtney Kardashian. Remember when she pushed it out, and pulled the baby out of her vaginal core onto her chest.

Cara: Yeah. She was like; I’ll take it from here, doc. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: That was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. So Bree Bella did not do that. She had a mirror, so she was watching it the whole time, really trying to push this baby out. And the head would crown, I think, a little bit and it would go back in. Like; what’s something. Like prairie dogging.

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: {laughing} That’s what it was. And it probably was prairie dogging, because your vagina and your butt become one. One hole.

Cara: That sounds so terrible.

Juli Bauer: So, she’s pushing forever. And I was very emotional on my period that night and I ended up crying, watching this scene. Because it’s just a beautiful thing, yet 100% not beautiful.

Cara: Yeah, you love birth and the experience of motherhood.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I love babies. Yeah, I’m huge into motherhood and having kids and all that. It was very weird; I don’t know why I cried. But that was a really intense scene. She ended up having a C-section because her prairie dogging ways weren’t working.

Cara: That sounds so terrible.

Juli Bauer: So terrible! You just ripped your vagina almost off, and then you just go in for a C-section. So your vagina and your…

Cara: Did you hear that Crissy Teigan said with her first child she tore from, like, all the way to her butthole?

Juli Bauer: Ugh.

Cara: You’re right. It just becomes one.

Juli Bauer: One hole. So it’s like your intestine and your vagina. Just all that bacteria creeping together. How do you recover from that?

Cara: I don’t think you do. Do you?

Juli Bauer: Do you have any friends that you can talk to one on one? Can Steph talk about her butthole?

Cara: Steph will definitely tell us.

Juli Bauer: Maybe I’ll have her on the podcast.

Cara: Steph, call in.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, call in Steph. {laughs} Please talk about your butthole. Take some time off of work. Ok. That’s enough of Nikki Bella. Who cares. I care, but whatever. Let’s talk about; I have to pee so bad so now I’m super hopped up on coffee and have to pee.

What about Ashley I and Jared from the Bachelor?

Cara: Oh my gosh, I’m obsessed with them. I have watched;

Juli Bauer: I need to watch it still.

Cara: So, I’ve only seen the snippets on the 1 minute you get on Instagram. But I think there’s a 40-minute segment.

Juli Bauer: Ok, why?

Cara: On YouTube or something.

Juli Bauer: What do they do for 40 minutes?

Cara: Tell the story of them. I don’t know.

Juli Bauer: That’s weird.

Cara: Anyway, I’m kind of obsessed with them. I’m so happy for them. Unless they’re f*cking with us and it’s all publicity. Nothing is real anymore.

Juli Bauer: Nothing is. We were talking about, on the first episode of this podcast that will never be aired. We were talking about if Nikki Bell and John Cena was a publicity stunt. Like, breaking up and doing their whole; “We have agreed to part ways.” It’s like; do you have to do an Instagram post about that? I don’t know. Whatever. I have agreed to part ways with gluten. Am I going to start talking about that on Instagram, just like that?

Cara: We respect each other, but.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} But gluten does not respect my butthole. There is so much butthole talk.

Cara: Please respect our privacy during this different time.

Juli Bauer: I’m sweating so much.

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: So much coffee. So, Ashley I and Jared are very cute.

Cara: How do you feel about it?

Juli Bauer: I think they’re adorable. I’m not going to watch 40 minutes of their love story. Sure, I’ll listen to it on a podcast. YouTube?

Cara: I think she has a channel.

Juli Bauer: Ok. I should really do things.

Cara: Anyway. I’ve heard them on two podcasts. I’ve watched all their Instagram stories. I’m kind of obsessed with them.

Juli Bauer: Ok. I can’t wait anymore, so this is going to be the perfect time to take an ad break! {laughs}

While I take this much needed coffee break, let’s talk about this weeks’ sponsor, Fab Fit Fun. Fab Fit Fun is a seasonal subscription box with full size beauty, fitness, fashion, and lifestyle products. It retails for $49.99, but always has a value over $200. Use code PaleOMG for $10 off your first box at FabFitFun.com.

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Juli Bauer: We’re back. I feel so much better. So we’re back. Get off your phone; this is a serious moment.

Cara: Oh, sorry. I didn’t know.

Juli Bauer: So do you think they’ll get married?

Cara: Who?

Juli Bauer: Ashley I and Jared.

Cara: Yeah, they should just get married. They shouldn’t even date, they should just go straight to marriage.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Are they going to be your new favorite couple? My favorite couple has always been Kaitlyn and Shaun. Are they going to be your new favorite couple?

Cara: We’ll see. I can’t give that to them quite yet. They’ve got to step up their game a little bit. You know; we need to see a pan out.

Juli Bauer: They look really cute.

Cara: They do.

Juli Bauer: How tall is he, do you think? He looks tall. I imagine her as tall. And he looks taller. I love tall guys.

Cara: Yeah, who doesn’t, am I right?

Juli Bauer: Short guys, I just can’t get down to. Literally. {laughs}

Cara: We’re offending everybody.

Juli Bauer: I know! Short guys and gingers. I wonder how many short gingers listen to my podcast. Guys. Guys. Literally 0%. But, I like a tall guy. What’s your favorite height for a male?

Cara: Taller than me, with heels. I’m always in heels, right?

Juli Bauer: How tall are you?

Cara: Like 5; how tall are you? 5’6”, 5’7”?

Juli Bauer: 7.

Cara: I feel like we’re pretty similar, right?

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Cara: So if they’re taller than me in heels; cool.

Juli Bauer: What if they’re the same height as you in heels?

Cara: It’s fine.

Juli Bauer: It’s tough.

Cara: It’s tough. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Laura can’t wear heels because Jason is the same height as her.

Cara: Right. But, I don’t know. I was dating this guy who was kind of short. Just in general, and I put heels on I was like; I felt like he had to stand on his tippy toes to kiss me. Which should be the opposite.

Juli Bauer: Why does that feel so weird? And some people aren’t weirded out by it.

Cara: Yeah. I’m like; this can’t happen.

Juli Bauer: I love that Brian is tall. If we ever have babies, we’ll have tall babies. And that’s so great.

Cara: That is really great.

Juli Bauer: Because I feel like every population keeps getting shorter, because people marry shorter people. And then everybody keeps getting shorter and marries shorter people, who marry shorter people who marry shorter people.

Cara: Well, it’s on you now to repopulate the tall population.

Juli Bauer: It’s all on me.

Cara: It’s all on you.

Juli Bauer: {laughing} And my butthole birth. Oh man.

Cara: Get on it.

Juli Bauer: Ok, well I can’t wait to see how that relationship pans out.

Cara: I know me too.

Juli Bauer: And I can’t wait to see the new season of the Bachelorette. I think it starts maybe this week.

Cara: Soon.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I heard it was the end of May.

Cara: I’m so excited.

Juli Bauer: I listen to Reality Steve; don’t worry, I don’t know anything. I skipped over. But he did talk about how they were doing the final date this past week.

Cara: Fun, I’m excited.

Juli Bauer: The proposal, or whatever.

Cara: So much for family night. Jersey Shore, New Girl.

Juli Bauer: I know, Brian is literally going to not come home anymore.

Cara: Bachelorette.

Juli Bauer: Especially now he can golf all the time.

Cara: Yeah, he’s just going to be golfing anyways.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. That’s our new family night. Him golfing and us hanging out.

Cara: {laughs} Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Ok so let’s talk about some stuff you’re into.

Cara: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Ok, let’s first start with products. Are you into any products lately?

Cara: So I know that you recently posted about self-tanner. Are you; I know you linked it, but I did not swipe up.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} God dammit Cara.

Cara: Is it San Tropez?

Juli Bauer: Wait, I almost sent you this picture. We were talking about; I did an Instagram post recently and I’m like; I love self-tanner. Blah, blah, blah. I’m going to link the tanner here. And people were like; what’s the self-tanner? And I’m like; I literally linked it. And then this person wrote; do you use self-tanner? Are you f*cking high?

Cara: I saw one of those posts, and one of the girls said; what brand. And she literally had to read your post to know you were talking about self-tanner. And you write in there; I’m going to link the self-tanner. So I felt bad for you.

Juli Bauer: It’s the worst. There were like 47 comments like that. I was like; I can’t make it easier!

Cara: So was it San Tropez?

Juli Bauer: Yes. That’s my favorite.

Cara: Yes. Ok, I love that stuff so much.

Juli Bauer: Because Cara and I were talking about it the other day. Because we both like getting spray tans. The problem with spray tans is they go on super dark and the moment you don’t use lotion every 14 seconds it cracks almost.

Cara: Yeah, you look like you have a weird rash.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, and you look scaly, like a snake.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: So that’s the problem I have with spray tan. When you use the San Tropez, you don’t get quite as dark. And I’m sure you could if you put more on. But then I haven’t had that issue at all with the cracking. And she even uses San Tropez; she uses that tanner. So I don’t know what’s different.

But, Cara and I both use a mitt to put on our self-tanner. Don’t use your hands. Get the mitt. It’s like $1.

Cara: It’s so easy to put on. I feel like it goes on pretty instant.

Juli Bauer: Even.

Cara: Well, yeah, even and instant. So you can put it on and then you get darker the longer it sets in. But even if you put it on right away, you still have some instant color. And then it will just deepen as time goes on.

Juli Bauer: Do you sleep in it?

Cara: Yeah, for sure.

Juli Bauer: For sure. I did see; when we were at Ulta recently, I was looking at all the San Tropez products, and they had one that was clear.

Cara: Yeah, I don’t get that.

Juli Bauer: I don’t either. But it’s supposed to go on clear. But then it’s like; how do you know if you’ve mixed it all and if it’s streaky. But then it’s not supposed to come off on any of your sheets.

Cara: Hmm.

Juli Bauer: And a bunch of people wrote and they told me about Eco Tan which isn’t supposed to come off on your sheets. And a couple of people wrote that, so I might try that one, too.

Cara: OK. Keep me posted.

Juli Bauer: Ok I’ll try it out. So you’re into tanner lately.

Cara: I’m into tanner. You just feel so much better when you have a tan, right?

Juli Bauer: Oh my god, so much better.

Cara: Being pale is the worst.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Somebody wrote on there. They’re like; I think whenever somebody has tanner on, they look Jersey Shore. And I was like; thank you. {laughs}

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Do I look Jersey Shore in this photo; you b*tch! Just kidding, I didn’t tell her that. I didn’t comment back to her. I almost did an eyeroll. Ugh! Come on.

Cara: {laughs} Why thank you.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Go away. So any other products you’re loving? It could be food products. It could be; I have nothing else for you.

Cara: I’m really into; is it Califia cold-brew, right now?

Juli Bauer: Oh, ok.

Cara: It’s cold-brew time.

Juli Bauer: It’s cold brew time of year.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: And Cara has been coming to my house in the morning. So we need to start making coffee drinks together when you come over.

Cara: Yeah. But Califia is so good.

Juli Bauer: I really like Forest cold brew coffee, but I have to mix it with stuff.

Cara: Yeah, this stuff, the Califia stuff you don’t.

Juli Bauer: It has almond milk in it.

Cara: Straight out of the carton.

Juli Bauer: What did you think about the cocktail I made yesterday?

Cara: Oh my gosh, it was so good.

Juli Bauer: We made mandarin vodka mojitos. Because I think rum tastes like butthole, and it’s really sweet and just kind of gross. So we made vodka mojitos, and it was so good.

Cara: So good.

Juli Bauer: It was like just the perfect amount of sweetness. I’ll be sharing that on my blog soon. I made it for a cooking video, which I’m filming on Monday. So, those will be coming to the blog with a video. So if you’re like; hey, how do I make this? Boom! Video.

Cara: Can’t wait to get drunk off of them.

Juli Bauer: Right?! We’re kind of buzzed from the four sips we had. It was very strong. I liked it.

Cara: I did too.

Juli Bauer: I like alcohol more than usual.

Cara: Afternoon buzz.

Juli Bauer: Afternoon buzz.

Cara: It was great.

Juli Bauer: I am kind of bummed because I’m liking alcohol more than I used to.

Cara: That makes me happy.

Juli Bauer: I know.

Cara: Because that means that you’re more fun.

Juli Bauer: No, I know. {laughs}

Cara: So these people probably know from the dirty banana night! {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Oh yes! Oh my god. Ok, I hope you guys saw this on Instagram stories, because I did take it down. {laughs} So Cara and I and the whole family were in Cabo, and I ended up; do you need to take that? It’s a random number. Who knows what it could be. Leave a message. I hate when people don’t do that.

Cara: Text me.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, text me. So we were in Cabo, and I didn’t really drink the entire time. I would have one or two drinks, maybe.

Cara: We didn’t drink a lot. And little brother was pretty disappointed in us.

Juli Bauer: Yes. Because Cara has a 23-year-old brother; 23 or 24. And he’s like, freshly out of college. Just got his first real job. So he’s in party mode still. He can party; he doesn’t get hung over. He’s fine, life is good. But then he has brothers and sisters who are like 14 years older than him, whatever you guys are. 12. Whatever it is. So you can hold your own. But if you don’t want to be kind of hungover, you’re just like; whatever, I’m not going to drink. And Brian has a hard time, at this point. He’s having a hard time drinking at this point.

Cara: Yeah, it’s tough.

Juli Bauer: He’s really slowed down. So we hadn’t really drank in Cabo, so her brother was like; come on. Let’s party.

Cara: Be cool.

Juli Bauer: So the parents left for the day, and we were like; ok, let’s make dirty bananas. We had this drink while we were in Jamaica getting married. And at our Cabo house, there was a grocery store in sketchy walking distance. You had to run across a highway, twice.

Cara: Like a 4-lane highway.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, 4-lane highway. No crosswalk. Very illegal.

Cara: Very Mexico style.

Juli Bauer: And that’s; I don’t want to go to jail in Mexico. But we did it many times. So we go get all these ingredients. And they have these legit ingredients; cacao, bananas. Like bananas are a big deal. But they had Justin’s almond butter or peanut butter. Whatever. So we make this dirty banana drink. Are they calling you again? Do you want to answer it?

Cara: No.

Juli Bauer: Are you sure?

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Ok. So, are you going to be distracted?

Cara: Not if you don’t stop talking.

Juli Bauer: I’m distracted. Ok, so we make these dirty banana drinks. What was in it? It was like cocoa powder, almond milk, bananas, peanut butter, vodka.

Cara: More vodka.

Juli Bauer: Lots of vodka, because you couldn’t even taste it.

Cara: We were like; we can’t taste it.

Juli Bauer: I can’t taste any vodka in here.

Cara: But it’s really simple, it’s just like…

Juli Bauer: Blended.

Cara: Yeah. So it’s just peanut butter, cocoa, what else? Vodka. Bananas. It’s just really simple.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, super simple. And so f*cking good. And it’s just like drinking a milk shake. It’s so f*cking good. So we make these, and we also took champagne to the beach. So we’re drinking on the beach. Nick catches a mini shark or something. And I have these pictures; we take like 47 pictures of just us smiling.

Cara: Having fun.

Juli Bauer: And I black out. And I fully black out. And I did all sorts of Instagram stories of me screaming with Cara, because we just take on these different voices when we’re drunk. And I’m screaming, and yelling, and saying that my parents being there is ruining everything. Because I’m really wasted. And my parents; I grew up with parents who I never saw drink until I graduated high school. And they had a drink at my graduation party. There was never alcohol in my house. So I feel very judged when I drink. My dad even asked, afterwards. He was like; were you really drunk in Cabo? I was like, goddammit dad, why do you even care? Why can’t I just be wasted? That’s just life sometimes.

Cara: One time.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, like one night. And he even knew.

Cara: That’s so great. Your parents were gone; let’s drink.

Juli Bauer: For real. It was just like being a kid. And then my parents very much judged me when they got back. And I felt judged. So I don’t know what happened because I black out. And I’m crying to Cara. And Cara’s wiping away my tears. I wake up at some point and it’s like 9 p.m. Wake up for dinner. I don’t know. I erased all the Instagram stories that I didn’t remember.

Cara: But, people seemed to think they were hilarious.

Juli Bauer: Loved them.

Cara: So yeah, loved them. But we don’t remember what they were.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. I had to erase that. I had to get rid of that real fast. I was like; this is when I was fighting with my husband. And I didn’t even know why. And I was screaming at him. That’s not a good look. And we don’t really fight like that. So that was not my favorite.

Cara: But leading up to it was great. We had a really great day. We were buzzed, but then it just went bad fast.

Juli Bauer: It was so fun. Somebody wrote me recently asking about the dirty banana recipe.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, they wanted to be that drunk.

Cara: Good for them.

Juli Bauer: It is so good.

Cara: It is so good.

Juli Bauer: Anyway. I’ve been liking alcohol a little bit more than usual. But it doesn’t help my figure, so I’m trying to stay away from it. But they taste so good when you make them yourself. I don’t really; yeah, I like drinks when I go out at like a fancy restaurant. And I’m not a wine person. I’m not a vodka soda person, like you are. Why do you like vodka sodas?

Cara: What’s not to like about it?

Juli Bauer: It tastes like sh*t.

Cara: It doesn’t, though. You drink soda water. You like Topo Chico.

Juli Bauer: Topo Chico. {laughs}

Cara: And it tastes just like that.

Juli Bauer: With vodka in it.

Cara: You literally can’t taste vodka.

Juli Bauer: It’s like burning soda water.

Cara: Yeah, it’s good. And then you put a little fruit in it, and it’s like a La Croix.

Juli Bauer: La Croix.

Cara: And there are less calories than like a beer.

Juli Bauer: I know. I’d rather just get froyo.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Do you want to get some froyo this weekend?

Cara: You do you. Will you feed me first?

Juli Bauer: What do you mean, feed you?

Cara: Can we get a snack after this?

Juli Bauer: Today?

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: I don’t want to do froyo today. Like this weekend.

Cara: OK. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: You’ve got to earn it, you know. It’s like; the weekend. You’ve got to get deep into it.

Ok, what about workouts. What workouts are you liking? Because Cara will not get on the CrossFit train. {laughs}

Cara: I can’t do it. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: What’s really funny about Cara; Cara was talking about how she was doing some workout. And she didn’t know if she wanted to do it anymore because her shoulders were getting so big. And I was talking about how I started CrossFit back up, and my shoulders got big again and I felt like myself again. So we want very different things out of our bodies. {laughs} I want the largest shoulders I can get, and Cara is not looking for that.

Cara: I’m not. Have you seen that meme of Kim Kardashian where it’s just her face, but she has huge arms? That’s what I feel like.

Juli Bauer: Oh my god. {laughing} I wish Kim Kardashian looked like that. That would be great.

Cara: That would be great.

Juli Bauer: So what workouts do you like right now?

Cara: So I have been doing fit 36. Which I really like.

Juli Bauer: Do they have that in other states? Do you know?

Cara: Yes, they do. I think a handful of other states. It’s really great. It’s just 36 minutes. It’s intervals, there are 12 stations. You do each station for a minute, and you do the circuit twice. And they switch it every two weeks, so it’s always something new. But I feel like it’s a lot more strength than I want. They encourage that, you know?

Juli Bauer: They want you to keep going heavier.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Those b*tches.

Cara: So I just feel like I got a bigger booty, which is not always a bad thing. But it’s just my pants fit tighter. I feel like my shoulders are bigger. And I just feel like I’m bigger than I want to be, or I just want to be dainty and tone.

Juli Bauer: Feminine.

Cara: Yeah. Not like, super muscular. So I really like it, I just don’t love. I think they need to incorporate other things, like maybe more cardio. Or just different classes, to kind of offset just the strength part of it.

Juli Bauer: So what are you going to do other than that.

Cara: So I just tried a; what did I do? Cycle bar. That was a fun time for a terrible workout.

Juli Bauer: For sitting on a bike.

Cara: Yeah. If I’m going to do spin, that’s the way to do it because it’s just loud music. The lights are off. The instructor was awesome.

Juli Bauer: You need to try that stair class. The stair climber class.

Cara: What’s it called?

Juli Bauer: At Transform. I think it’s like, Stair class. I don’t know. At Transform. Because they do the same thing. The lights are out. The music is f*cking awesome. And goes to the beat of how fast you’re supposed to stair climb. We should do that together.

Cara: Ok, I’m in. I like to try new things. I just get bored, because I have a membership for 24-hour, and I got bored with those classes so I mixed it up with fit 36. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Stop hating my face.

Cara: So I’m trying to kind of figure out what to do next.

Juli Bauer: Ok. Let’s go do a stair climber class together. Ok, so we have to kind of wrap this up. Because we’re about an hour. I could talk forever. And I feel like; I wonder if you guys can hear the motorcyclists being so rude. Why are they so loud?

Cara: It’s the worst.

Juli Bauer: Cara lives kind of close to the highway, so when the motorcyclists are out, or these speed racers. It’s so loud. I don’t know how you do it.

Cara: It’s terrible.

Juli Bauer: I would cut a b*tch. Throw knives from your window.

Cara: When you’re trying to sleep, or in the middle of the night, it’s really great. It’s so great. It just lulls you to sleep.

Juli Bauer: I’m surprised you don’t sleep with earplugs. How do you not sleep with ear plugs?

Cara: I turn on a fan. I don’t know about ear plugs.

Juli Bauer: Well, I don’t know. Laura’s roommate, Sarah, sleeps in earplugs all the time.

Cara: Really? Weird.

Juli Bauer: I told Brian we should do that. I forget why.

Cara: Why, you live in the suburbs? It’s so quiet there.

Juli Bauer: I know. I forget what it was. And he was like; no, what if someone breaks in and I don’t hear them. I was like; that’s fair. But what are you going to do? I don’t know. Scary.

So, can we talk about some of your dislikes right now? Because we talked about some of your favorite things. What are things that you’re not into right now? That you’re like; ok, go away. I’ll tell you one of mine so you can think about it for a second. I do not like this whole Instagram versus reality post. Where it’s like this girl;

Cara: Me. Also me.

Juli Bauer: Yeah! This is my butt. And this is also my butt. It’s like; ok. Or it will be like; oh, look it. Here I’m attractive; and here I’m also attractive.

Cara: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Here’s my one dimple, and here’s me with two dimples. It’s like; go away! What do you think about those posts? They are just on my Instagram all the time.

Cara: They’re everywhere, yeah. I don’t get it. Like you said, it’s like; this is me being attractive, and now I’m doing a different pose also being attractive.

Juli Bauer: And I am real. I am totally real. I guess you guys think I’m not real because I have two dimples, but I’m a real person! I’m like, get out of here. We get it, you’re attractive. Why not put your best foot forward on your photos? If you have a photo of you where you feel like you look like crap, do you put it on Instagram?

Cara: Hell no!

Juli Bauer: Exactly. Whatever. I guess I put my acne photos on there. And I’ve been sharing this horrid face I have at the moment. I’m real.

Cara: You are real.

Juli Bauer: I’m totes real.

Cara: You’re so relatable.

Juli Bauer: Thanks. So what are some things that you hate right now?

Cara: What do I hate right now?

Juli Bauer: Or dislike. You don’t have to hate everything like me.

Cara: I don’t know. If we’re going to stay on Instagram; shoes are just always there, right.

Juli Bauer: Yeah because you love shoes.

Cara: Love them. But you click on a picture of shoes, and it just takes you; you’re like, oh those are cute. Where do I get them? So you click on that one, and it just takes you to another profile. And you’re like; ok, where do I get these shoes? But they’re never linked. You don’t know what brand they are or where to find them.

Juli Bauer: B*tches! I don’t do that.

Cara: You just go down this rabbit hole of trying to find shoes. And it’s just; ugh.

Juli Bauer: I don’t do that to you.

Cara: I know. You don’t ever lead us astray.

Juli Bauer: If you have the Like to Know it app, you won’t have to worry about that with me! Plug!

Cara: Why don’t these people have it? I don’t get it.

Juli Bauer: Because they’re rich as f*ck. And they’re like; hey, here are my $4000 shoes. Ok, bye.

Cara: It’s so annoying. And it keeps happening to me. So I’m like…

Juli Bauer: Who is your favorite person to follow on Instagram.

Cara: You!

Juli Bauer: Ok, you can’t say that.

Cara: Why.

Juli Bauer: That’s rude. Because that’s a lie. My feet are like blue, they’re so cold.

Cara: It’s not. I don’t follow a ton of celebrities. I think it’s you and Will Smith.

Juli Bauer: Oh! {laughs} Great comparison. Great comparison. Ok, remember, we were talking about this and looking at her profile. Celeste Barber.

Cara: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Juli Bauer: She’ll have a model pose, like Kim Kardashian doing some sort of pose, and then she reenacts it.

Cara: Yeah, she just makes fun of celebrities. It’s hilarious.

Juli Bauer: She’s hilarious.

Cara: But I don’t follow her. I just kind of like to binge on her every once in a while.

Juli Bauer: Oh, you should follow her. She’s great.

Cara: I know, she is great.

Juli Bauer: Her Instagram stories are hilarious.

Cara: OK.

Juli Bauer: She’s worth following.

Cara: Sold.

Juli Bauer: Ok. So you don’t have anybody you like to follow.

Cara: NO, not really. I don’t…

Juli Bauer: You’re very select in your following.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Damn. You’re high maintenance.

Cara: Am I?

Juli Bauer: No. The opposite of high maintenance. I’m trying to think of somebody I like right now. Are you listening to any podcasts?

Cara: I really like this girl, Taylor Strecker.

Juli Bauer: Oh, yes. That’s what I was trying to tell people about her, and I didn’t know her name. And I’m like; ok, I can’t help you. I don’t even know why I’m talking about this. So Taylor Strecker.

Cara: Yes. She used to have her own show on Sirius XM. And she got fired, so she started her own podcast, radio show, whatever. And she is hilarious. She’s great. She used to be married, now she’s a lesbian. She used to be married to a guy, now she’s a lesbian. So, what?

Juli Bauer: Both the P and the V. She’s down.

Cara: Yeah. So she’s hilarious. She’s so good. So she’s my favorite. But then there’s always bachelorette podcasts. Because, just basic.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, basic as f*ck.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Ok. I really like Taylor Strecker. She’s so funny. And she has inside dirt a lot on Hollywood. So if you’re a reality newspaper, like US weekly, I feel like she has the inside dirt on that kind of stuff.

Cara: Right. Isn’t it US Weekly? {laughs}

Juli Bauer: {laughs} I’m obviously a huge fan. Huge fan. I buy all of the magazines. I don’t, because f*ck those magazines. Unless they’re featuring me, I want nothing to do with them.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: And getting paid, that would be rad.

Cara: That would be rad.

Juli Bauer: Ok, is there anything else you want to talk about?

Cara: I don’t think so.

Juli Bauer: You don’t dislike anything else?

Cara: Not that I can think of right now. As soon as we stop recording I’m sure I’ll think of something.

Juli Bauer: I know, me too. I’m trying to think of other dislikes. I’m going to do a favorite things podcast next week, and I always do my least favorite things, too. So I’ll just save them up for next week.

Cara: OK.

Juli Bauer: So guys, let me know if you like Cara being on the podcast. Because if you don’t; don’t worry, we won’t have her again.

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: {laughs} But I think it’s fun to actually be able to talk to somebody else instead of myself for an hour straight. That’s just me. Oh, but the exciting news. I got invited to Aruba. So Cara is going with me.

Cara: Wohoo!

Juli Bauer: And we have a 14-hour flight. Or 14-hour day travel to get to Aruba. And then 14 hours on the way back. So my husband wasn’t exactly down for that. Cara’s into it.

Cara: Yeah, I’m down.

Juli Bauer: I’m hoping that we can upgrade our seats and we can be comfortable on flights. Because that’s rad.

Cara: This is how Juli tells me. She’s like; do you want to go to Aruba? I’m like, f*ck yeah, I do. I’m in. And she’s like; but you have to run a 5K.

Juli Bauer: {laughs}

Cara: You motherf*cker.

Juli Bauer: So Cara is not huge into running. And I’m not either. I can run. You can run. You can run; put one foot in front of the other. If you’re tired, walk. So I’m working with a hotel out there that’s sponsoring this race. They have a marathon, a half marathon, a 10K and 5K. So of course, we’re doing the least amount possible, which is the 5K. And so I’m going to be talking about that race, and the hotel. I’m super pumped about it. So exciting. So we’re going to Aruba a week from today for four days. Really, two days. Because the other 2 are traveling. {laughs}

Cara: Really one day, because the other day we’re running.

Juli Bauer: Yes. But that’s at 7:30 in the morning. Lucky us!

Cara: I’m going to put a 5K sticker. You know how people put those marathon.

Juli Bauer: Yes. Like triathlon.

Cara: They just put “13”.

Juli Bauer: 13.2 or something.

Cara: Yeah. I’m going to get a sticker that’s like 0.36 and put it on my car. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: {laughing} Yeah, that’s something I’m not into; bumper stickers.

Cara: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Have you ever had a bumper sticker on your car?

Cara: No. Not on purpose.

Juli Bauer: Ever in your life.

Cara: No.

Juli Bauer: I had a Colorado State sticker when I was going to the school.

Cara: I’m surprised you don’t have like a native sticker on your car.

Juli Bauer: Ew. Disgusting. Ok, but I do have to admit.

Cara: Or like a stick dog figure on your window.

Juli Bauer: Wait, wait. I do have to admit, one sticker I had in high school.

Cara: Oh no.

Juli Bauer: And this reminds me of you, because you did this. After I went sky diving, at the same place you went sky diving with Brian, I got a sky dive sticker and I put it on. And I was like; I’m a sky diver.

Cara: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Go sky diving once, and gets a bumper sticker.

Cara: This is me. This is my life.

Juli Bauer: That’s my life. I had it in high school in my red Honda Civic. 1998 man.

Cara: Where you’re just like; guys look. Just always pointing to your sticker. I’m a sky diver. Just really embrace that life.

Juli Bauer: Go sky diving once. Yeah. And now, hate bumper stickers. It’s like, why do you have to put your political views on the bumper of your car?

Cara: Right? It’s weird.

Juli Bauer: Are those views really worth having if they’re on the bumper of your car that someone just smashed into?

Cara: Yeah, it’s usually a piece of sh*t car. Like, ok.

Juli Bauer: I get it. You love Trump. I get it. Ugh. Should we get into political views? {laughs}

Cara: Next topic.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. So I just f*cking hate bumper stickers. They’re so ugly. We get it; you love to run a lot. Like Sarah Beham, she ran the Leadville 100. She doesn’t have bumper stickers.

Cara: 100 miles.

Juli Bauer: 100 miles. One. Zero. Zero. And there is no bumper sticker on her car.

Cara: Nu-huh. She’s like; I just did it.

Juli Bauer: Done. Period.

Cara: She doesn’t even talk about it. She’s just like; I just did it.

Juli Bauer: I hate bumper stickers. Ok. So we need to go because we have to take some photos today, which is very sketch, because my face looks like I’m 400 years old. So I’m about to cake on makeup on dry ass skin that’s about to break away from my face.

Cara: We’re going to try and hide her face, so when you see these Instagram posts, you’ll know why her face.

Juli Bauer: I’m just hoping I can edit these photos like crazy.

Cara: Oh, photoshop. Ok.

Juli Bauer: Photoshop the sh*t out of it.

Cara: We’ll say it’s photoshopped.

Juli Bauer: They’ll say it’s photoshop; they don’t know. Anyway. I’m going to get my butt a little bigger, and make my waist a little smaller in these photos.

Cara: Make your shoulders bigger.

Juli Bauer: Oh yes, absolutely. I’m just built like an hourglass. As wide as a wide hourglass.

Cara: Lucky girl.

Juli Bauer: OK. Anyway. I hope you guys enjoyed this weird ass podcast. And I hope there’s more to come, because I like talking to someone else. Even though I say I don’t; I like talking to you.

Cara: Aww, that’s so sweet. You’re the best.

Juli Bauer: You’re a gem. Ok. Thanks guys for listening. You’re the best. Give me feedback, ok. Come talk on my blog. Come talk to me. Chat with me. I’d love to hear from you. Ok, bye-bye for now.

Cara: Bye!

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.

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24 thoughts on “Deep Chats w/ My SIL – Episode 86: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast”

  1. I loved this episode. You two are absolute partners in crime and it reminded me so much of my relationship with my SIL.

    I must have looked like a crazy person at the gym chuckling to myself listening to this one. 🙂

  2. This is Juli and Kara and you’re listening to the PaleOMG podcast ala Joy and Claire ????
    This podcast cracked me up!

  3. Another great episode… but no love for gingers ???????? we don’t all look like evil chucky dolls! ????

    I’ve been following your blog since 2012 and love all of your great content! Thanks for all the hard work you do! I have tried so many of your recipes and the products you recommend and they never disappoint! I most recently started using Tula products and am obsessed!

  4. I loved listening to you and Kara! But, I have to comment on the whole ginger thing…I am usually not attracted to gingers. BUT, there is just something about Prince Harry. I think he’s sexy AF and did you SEE the way he bit his lip when Meghan got up to the altar? Day-yum!

  5. Ok 1) you guys are hilarious. 2) I started thinking about all the shit I have become obsessed with just because of your suggestions and I can’t decide if I hate you or love you for it. 3) My fiancé straight up thought I got scammed when I bought him the purple pillow for his neck issues and he was kinda pissed I bought it but then he slept on it and in the mornings was like *cough*I mean I guess it was good yeah…I mean my neck does feel like a lot better*cough* and I was like HA YA BITCH.

    Anyway, I’ve also started using vital proteins collagen and my nails are amazing…people say my hair is longer but I’m still waiting for that to come along. What else….OMG I downloaded liketoknowit finally the other night at like 2am when my fiancé woke me up to give him a foot rub so he could fall back asleep and had to practice SO MUCH self control not to buy everything.

    Ok that’s all for now I guess. Bring Kara back again. That was awesome.

  6. I was laughing the whole episode- thank you for bringing sunshine to all my weekends! I truly look forward to Saturday when your podcast is posted.
    Also, it’s amazing how confident and vibrant Carra is. She needs to know that!!
    🙂

  7. Hey Juli! I’m a bit behind but didn’t know where to post this. Is you SIL still looking for a handsome, fun guy who likes to go do things?? One of my close guy friends lives in Fort Collins and he’s single as a Pringle and ready to mingle. Let me know if she’s open! You can do some stalking is you wish, his name is Ben and you can find him on insta at guerrillawolf. I think he’s public. take a look and if you want an “intro” of sorts, let me know.

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