Eating in Las Vegas

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My first trip to Vegas has come to a close. I am no longer having bloody mary’s for breakfast, standing by a craps table to get free drinks even though I’ve given absolutely no money to the table, or spending an absurd amount of money on restaurants when I usually like my own boring cooking more. I like Vegas. It has anything you would ever want within walking distance. A long walk, that is. Want to ride a roller coaster on top of buildings that are shaped like New York City? You got it. Want 8 malls that you can buy shoes for over $6,000 at? Absolutely. Need a drink that is 5 feet tall. Why wouldn’t you? Here you go! Vegas is totally an adults play land. No rules. Just booze, money and cigarettes. Lots of cigarettes. What’s up with people still smoking? That’s so weird. And disgusting. Anywho, I used this trip as a trip to pretty much do whatever I wanted. I ate what I wanted, I drank what I wanted, and did not worry about it even once. Ok, that’s a lie. I felt a little bad because of the alcohol I consumed, but that’s because alcohol makes me feel like dog balls. Gross dog balls. Bloated, ugly dog balls. Do you think you get better at drinking the more you do it? Because the less I do it, the less I really like it.

Ok, that’s not the point. The point of this blog post is to tell you about my trip, mostly about the food, but then also about some of the things I did. So then you can do those great things. And miss the crap stuff. Ok, here we go. Everything I shoved in my face.

I started my Vegas trip off with mimosas at the airport. I mean, why wouldn’t I? So once we got to Vegas in the evening, checked in at Planet Hollywood and started wandering around, I already had another mimosa in hand. Wanna know something funny? This woman was in line behind me and kept looking at me. I wasn’t sure why she was looking at me, so I pretty much gave her a dirty look. But after I did that, she asked if I was Juli from PaleOMG. How cool is that? Of all the places and all the hotels in Vegas, this woman recognized me from my blog. Pretty awesome. I need to work on giving people dirty looks. D*ck move.

After drinking more mimosas, I was more so thinking about food. We didn’t have any plans or any reservations, so the first place we found that didn’t need a reservation, we took it. And I’m glad we did…I think. Let me explain. Ok, so while we walked around trying to find a restaurant, we sipped on a few drinks. Mimosas then vodka sodas. Once we found the restaurant Spago in Caesar Palace, we chowed down. Ok, so while I look back at pictures, I must have been a bit more tipsy than I thought, because I had no idea what my food was until I looked until the menu. Nice, Juli. Thankfully it…kind of…came back to me.

Artichoke Soup – I remember thinking this was amazing
the duck- I think it was the special, but I don’t really remember what it was like, but I think amazing
we didn’t order dessert but they brought out some mini chocolate chip banana breads (average) and some grapefruit tasting sponge cakes (not into it)

After gambling and drinking, we headed in around 1am. But before we headed home, we stopped at the Sugar Factory in the Paris hotel. I was craving gelato baaaad since I had seen it everywhere. So I got cookie dough and peanut butter and jelly gelato. I totally should have only got one scoop, but it was totally worth it.

Being in early and having a good amount of food in my stomach helped with the hangover the next morning, which was wonderful. So I chugged some water in the morning and ordered room service. I chose the 3 eggs and filet mignon with fried potatoes for breakfast. Can’t go wrong with that, right? Right. It was pretty damn good for room service.

After breakfast, I honestly don’t remember that much of what we did. I know we shopped at the mall in Planet Hollywood, then just walked around and did the sight seeing thing. After sight seeing for a while, we decided to stop in the Wynn for lunch. We found a cafe (no idea what it was called but it’s not worth knowing anyways) and I got the tomato bisque and a burger with brie and bacon-tomato jam. I had 3 bites of the bisque and almost finished the burger, but it really wasn’t impressive. Just filling for the afternoon. Which was helpful since we did more walking. Each block in Vegas seriously is like a mile walk. Ridic.

meh
i dig the bacon tomato jam

So we got a cab down to the Stratosphere to ride the roller coasters. They have 3 roller coasters and some gigantic free fall jump from the top of the building. Pretty rad. I haven’t been on a roller coaster for years and it was AWESOME. All three were pretty cool. If you have a fear for heights, not so much. Thankfully, I do not so I absolutely loved it. I wanted to do it all day. But alas, we had to eat again.

VERY high

FOOD YAY. This time we made a reservation at Tao. Someone on my instagram recommended that restaurant because of their Chilean Sea Bass. And well, that’s my friend’s favorite dish. So we went there and holy balls am I glad we did. I got the satay chilean sea bass (a small plate) then 3 different kinds of sushi to share. Oh, and some saki bombs, of course. I actually like saki bombs. Anyways, this meal was AMAZING. Like, blow your mind kind of good. I’ve never had fish that was that amazing. Sadly, I have no pictures of this food. Tao likes to keep an intimate mood going on in there. I dig it. So if you go to Tao, get the fish. Holy balls good.

After dinner, we headed to the new show Absinthe. If you are going to Vegas any time soon and are funny or at least know how to take a joke, you HAVE to go. This show is definitely not for the faint of heart. The comedian makes a ton of racist jokes. You’d think that would not be fun to listen to, but he makes fun of absolutely everyone. Blacks, whites, asians, gays, republicans. He made sure to give everyone got an ear full. There’s also a lot of nudity. Mostly just women boobs. They had nipple tassels though, so it doesn’t really count. But not only were the boobs good looking, the comedian absolutely hilarious, but the acts were seriously the most amazing things I’ve ever witnessed. In a small circus tent, which probably sat 150 people, I saw strongmen acts, rollerskating acts, singing acts, and a ton of other stuff. And for what you get, the price is pretty damn cheap. Go see it. If you don’t like it, you’re dumb.

photo-58
i’m pretty sure that’s 10 chairs he’s balancing on

Then we went to Pure night club later that night because some random guy on the street got us in for free. I like dancing, but my feet were exhausted from the day, so I didn’t last long. I have absolutely no clue how girls wear heels all night long. No clue.

Once we stopped dancing, we gambled (I lost $20 and decided I hate gambling) and decided by 3am that we probably needed to eat. I had a shot of tequila earlier so my stomach was eating itself. Weirdly enough, finding food at 3am is a bit harder than you would expect in Vegas. So we wandered forever until we found a crappy pizza place. But you know what this pizza place had? GLUTEN FREE PIZZA! Beauty. So I had some cheese and sauce gf pizza. It was rad. I didn’t take a picture though. Because it was 3am and I was drunk. Duh.

The next morning wasn’t too bad because when I got home, I chugged a liter of water. So we headed to a restaurant called Cabo Wabo because their bloody mary’s looked amazing. I got a cowboy breakfast which was A LOT of protein. Eggs, sausage, carne asada, potatoes and guacamole. It was actually really freaking good. I probably ate about half of it.

After brunch, we headed to Aria to look around and sight see more stuff. Like really fancy clothes. See, but don’t you touch, ya hear? After looking, I wanted to ride another roller coaster. Obviously. So we head to New York New York to ride theirs. OMG it was wonderful. I love feeling my stomach in my heart. It’s so fun.

Once the guys wanted to gamble more, my girlfriend and I headed to the M&M’s store. Because what paleo blogger doesn’t want to eat piles of M&M’s? Well, most but not me. I wanted peanut butter M&M’s, especially different color ones. So we headed there, filled up our bags…and mouths, then headed to the bar for some vodka sodas.

That night was our last fancy restaurant night. Because of Sergio’s recommendation, we went to Mesa Grill for some food. He recommended it because of the steak but I wasn’t feeling steak that night. So I started off with some lobster tacos, which were adorably small and delicious. Then I got their special, the duck, because I had already forgotten I had it two nights before. It was pretty good, but I’ve had better.


After dinner, we headed to the Cirque show ‘O’. I’ve been excited to see a Cirque show since I heard about them years ago. I’ve never once heard anything negative about the shows, only that they are totally worth the money. So we didn’t think twice about spending the money on the most expensive Cirque show in Vegas, even though there are a few to choose from. As the show started, I was super excited, but as each different scene happened, I became more and more disappointed. I kept waiting for that “awe” moment or the jaw dropping moment and it never happened. It was so disappointing. The choreography was off, there was seriously no amazing tricks except for a few girls that were so bendy that they could bend their butt on top of their head. I’m guessing that since the accident of one of their performs happened, they’ve changed some of their stunts. But if you are going to charge people $180 per ticket, you need to impress people and make them feel like it was worth it. I honestly wouldn’t even go to that show again for free. I was so bored and bummed out. And the weird thing is that my friend saw that show before years ago and said it was the best thing she had ever seen and that one we saw was nothing like it. Big downer.

That night we turned it in early. The show was a huge downer, so we decided losing money on gambling definitely wouldn’t make the night any better. So I chugged water and passed out early. I got to do everything I wanted to do in Vegas. I played on roller coasters, I shopped, I ate at amazing restaurants, I saw shows. Everything. I would totally go back again and do more cool things. Here’s a summary of things I learned while in Vegas since this post isn’t long enough already.

  1. I love Bloody Mary’s. Especially at a random bar in the casino at the Venetian.
  2. I hate tequila, even if it’s “fancy” expensive Patron. And I gag every time I drink it. Also, I’m terrible at drinking. It makes me sleepy. And it makes my feet swell. Fat feet means a real uncomfortable night walking the casinos.
  3. I want to see another Cirque show because I don’t want to give up on them. But I really hope it’s somehow free next time. It won’t be, but a girl can hope.
  4. I will wear Tom’s or tennis shoes right from the start in Vegas. Dressing up sexy is way too challenging when you have to walk 3 miles to get a block and a half.
  5. I will always eat at Tao when I go to Vegas. And I will probably be adding a little more rice to my diet once in a while. Because it’s delicious. And Tao inspired me.

That is all. Now go eat in Vegas.

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.

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48 thoughts on “Eating in Las Vegas”

  1. The only Cirque du Soleil show I’ve seen was called La Nouba, in Downtown Disney in Orlando. I was really, really impressed! I’m sorry you had a shitty experience but I would give it another try!

  2. McKenzie Kiichler

    When you go back to Vegas…you have to see the Cirque show Zumanity!! We also went to Absinthe (which was HYSTERICAL, except, wtf was the girl in the big ball? That was weird to me…it’s also the girl from Holly’s World if you ever watched that!). Anywho, Zumanity reminded me a lot of Absinthe. And there are some hunky guys in it who are shirtless 24/7, so, yeah. Great post, Juli!

      1. We’ve seen Absinthe too and had the EXACT same conversation….what the heck was the deal with the girl in the big ball? Hot? Yes. But, talented?? I don’t think so! AMAZINGly hysterical show. I laughed until my sides hurt. Glad you enjoyed it.

  3. This year is my best friend and I’s 10th anniversary of being best friends. We are dorks. We were planning a trashy trip to Miami but now I think I want to go to Vegas! Your trip sounds 100% fun and just like what I would want to do!

  4. I spent the last weekend in January in Vegas to go see P!NK If you go back, you have to eat at 2 places: Gordon Ramsey’s Burger place in Planet Hollywood – top notch and they did my burger in a lettuce wrap! Also, off the beaten path and named as one of the top 25 restaurants in the country (not just in the Thai category) is The Lotus Garden – a bit seedy location, but you can take the monorail and walk a bit, totally worth it!!!!

  5. everything looked great! glad you had a great time. We have been to las vegas just once (each went at different times and for different reasons) but both of us look forward in going back. We love a good cocktail especially bloody marys! Want to meet up ? haha

  6. I just left Vegas on Fri the 7th (just missed you) It is an adult playground and it was exhausting! I was there 6 days (wayyyyy too many, 3 would’ve sufficed). Food was great–but expensive! I nearly had a heart attack paying for my 4 dollar cup of brewed coffee. We saw Santana–who was amazing and checked out the Body Exhibit at the Luxor. I am with you on the walking—I wore my reebok flex all day. Fun trip, but honestly I don’t know if I’d go back anytime soon–too much drinking, that’s all there is to do there!

  7. Glad you had fun! The only Cirque du Soleil show I’ve seen was ‘curque Shanghai’ at Navy Pier in Chicago. It was maybe about $40 to see and I was even disappointed with it so I know what you mean. Also, I found the salsa you just posted on insta for $2 at walmart today! I was dancing with joy in the aisles at the deal. thanks for the reccomendation!!! 🙂

  8. i know this post is about vegas fun but i just wanted to comment about the smoking. it’s not an ideal thing to do but some people use it to treat their disease. i have inflammatory bowel disease and use nicotine as a treatment. obviously, when you look at someone you don’t know they have it, but i just wanted to mention it so you don’t judge it as weird and disgusting. it really helps a lot of sufferers of the disease and i’m sure if there were better treatments available that they wouldn’t have to resort to smoking just so they don’t lose their colon.

    1. That is a crock of crap! Smoking is digusting and unhealthy and not a treatment for ANYTHING. I have IBS and you can get nicotine patches which will help. I was a half pack a day smoker for 16 years and one day I threw them out…cold turkey. And will never look back.

  9. glad you had fun and that you learned a few things. lol. def don’t give up on cirque. i’ve seen quite a few of them…but surprisingly not O. Ka has to be one of the best ones if you want a lot of “action”. agreed on heels. heels are stupid and i think girls that wear heels constantly can because they have lost feeling in their feet. HAHA.

  10. I loved reading your Vegas trip report because I have an almost unhealthy love for Vegas!! I saw Absinthe, and I totally agree that it is one of THE best shows in Vegas, especially for your money. So far as Cirque goes, you MUST see Love. Even if you are only a super-duper casual Beatles fan, it is completely fantastic and makes you smile the whole time. If you like French bistro type food, Mon Ami Gabi is so delicious; it’s right in front of Paris. For steak, Craft Steak in MGM, Strip Steak in Mandalay Bay, & SW Steakhouse in Wynn are all excellent choices. There’s a crazy buffet in Caesar’s (I can’t remember the name), that is worth going to, especially around lunch/brunch time. So many tiny little adorable mini-dishes that are very above par for buffet fare. I should stop now, because I could go one forever….

  11. If you go back, don’t go see the Cirque show at the MGM, I forget which one it is…I know, super helpful, but my husband and I went during our honeymoon, and he fell asleep, and I was BORED. And I was also stressed the entire time that somebody was going to fall and die, which actually happened at that very show a couple weeks after we went 🙁 Downer. Go see the Blue Man Group. They’re badass and funny.

    1. The MGM Cirque show is “KA”, and you’re right, it’s awful. That’s the show that had a death several months ago and they made some changes. “O” hasn’t changed — it has always been boring. But to each their own — there are plenty of people who love “O” AND “KA”, but I thought both of them sucked.

      LOVE, on the other hand, is totally awesome (have seen it 11 times), but there are even some people who don’t like that one, too!

  12. As a Las Vegas native (we are like unicorns), I can tell you there is quite a bit to do aside from pound the pavement up and down The Strip. “O” did in fact drastically change their routine and it is a huge shame because the original show was well choreographed and physically impressive. Not to worry! There are plenty of world class shows to choose from. USUALLY the entertainment reviews are pretty honest. Enjoy the sights and sounds of Downtown and The Strip sure! But then get out to Mount Charleston, Lake Meade, or my favorite, Red Rock Canyon for some fresh air and detox from the smoky casino and free cocktails!!

  13. Whitney Manansala

    Ugh I wish I wouldn’t have read this. Only because I love Vegas with all my heart lol. Now I want to go back. And when my husband and I go, we all the sudden aren’t paleo anymore lol

  14. I’m the one that recognized you. Glad you had a great time, and I thought I drank a lot! I saw O a few years ago and I totally agree…boring!

  15. I am going to Vegas in a week and after reading your post I am even more excited! The hubby and I are cheesing it up and we are renewing our vows with Elvis! I am going to make reservations at Tao for sure!!!! Thanks for the suggestions.

  16. I was in Vegas this weekend as well!! The food was pretty good but stupid expensive. My husband ordered a $34 burger… not really worth it. I took photos of all the lighting seeing as I’m an interior designer and thought every hotel had the coolest chandeliers! The cosmopolitan was my fav! My brother saw Absinthe and thought it was super funny as well. Kind of bummed I didn’t check it out!

  17. I’ve never been to Vegas but I imagine I would plan a trip similar to yours… I’m a self proclaimed foodie and love trying the delicious and cool local restaurants. Definitely taking notes from you for when I do make the trip!

  18. I love a newbies take on Vegas! I was married there decades ago, we used to go there in the 70s80s90s, for a cheap vacation, (lived in while the mob still owned it!! stayed at the Tropicana for $12. Ate amazing buffets , breakfast and dinner $2.95, $4.95…got all kinds of freebies, drinks, slots actually paid money!!

    99 cents for a steak dinner at 1am. 49cents for shrimp cocktail…it was never busy in the summer or at Christmas. Saw big shows for $7 per ticket.. Vegas is no big deal now, so overpriced, smokey and absolutely not fun…anyone can spend 1000s…who cares?

  19. Definitely go to Zumanity!! I used to live in San Diego so went to Vegas a lot…why not, if you can drive there in 4.5 hours? Anyway, Zumanity was the best show I’ve seen out there!!

  20. Totally one of the best and funniest Vegas reviews I’ve EVER read! My hubby and I love Vegas, but we haven’t been back since we got hitched there back in ’05 (holy crap). Dying to go back. We heart the desert – Valley of Fire, Hoover Dam, Red Rock Canyon, get out of the city dude. Nice job:)

  21. I’m glad you had a good time. Now that you got the Strip experience out of the way there is so much more to Vegas to see…Red Rock Canyon for hiking, Lake Mead for water activities, and a plethora of other restaurants that are as good as the Strip but way less pricey….If (and when) you come back and you want some off strip ideas and experiences hit me up…I’d love to show my favorite Paleo blogger around!!

  22. I was there the same time as you … I thought, how cool would it be to see Juli ! anyway I stayed at PH too and loved it but the smoke was a huge negative for me, my eyes were burning and my nose was really dry .. not cool

    We ate at mon ami gabi in the paris hotel it was delicious the steak frites were YUM !

    I can’t believe how $$ the starbucks regular coffee was … 4.05$ for a grande regular coffee !! holy crap …

    did you make it to the outlet malls ? great deals on everything !

    1. that’s so cool!! the smoked was so annoying! and i saw mon ami gabi a couple times and was totally bummed i didn’t go! i heard it was awesome! and yeah, i got a coffee somewhere else in the hotel and it was $7 lol. i didn’t go to any outlet malls! i didn’t even know they had any! all i saw was fancy smancy stores haha

  23. Oh and forgot to say we saw mystere from cirque and it was amazing … and we went for the cheap tickets 54$ and they upgraded us to the front of the stage with no cost .. and another fantastic show is Rock of ages … really awesome show …

  24. Too bad a friend didn’t mention to you Serendipity 3… By C Palace. Our favorite breakfast spot. Frozen Hott Chocolate is fab!!!

  25. I’m headed to Vegas at the end of March, totally stizzznoked. Aside from the food, booze and shows, did you hang out by the pools at all? Too cold? I’m hoping by the end of March my dog balls will be dripping and hangovers will be nursed poolside.
    Thanks for the insight 🙂

  26. I loved reading this post, it was hilarious. I’m super stoked that you ate at Tao, but most importantly the fact that you had the sea bass. I ordered that in Vegas a couple years ago and fell in love. I will definitely recommend it to any person that goes to Vegas.

  27. If you plan on gettnig back to vegas definitely download the app myvegas and start playing on facebook. with it you can accrue comps in vegas. This trip i have a free night at luxor, seeing zumanity, and a free buffet at bellagio. all free for playing maybe half an hour a day on a slot machine game on my phone for a few months. highly recommend

  28. We are heading off to Vegas in a couple of weeks. I love how cheap we can find tickets from Denver to Vegas. Thankfully we are staying south of the strip at a nice condo with a kitchen, since we are going for a week we didn’t want to eat out for all meals. But will definitely try out some of your restaurants. Even though we follow a paleo lifestyle we allow ourselves to drink beer and relax on what we eat, especially in Vegas. I will let you know how Zarkana show is. We bought dinner/show tickets. It was the only show that no one in our group has seen.

  29. I just got back Monday morning. We stayed at Bellagio. I agree on the smoking, way too much there. I was in a food coma. I’m clean eating all week so far, so good!

  30. Finally I got around to reading this post. Having lived in “Sin City” for 11 years it is always fun to hear what others say about their first Vegas experience. Vegas has everything you would ever want 24/7/365 which I took for granted until after we moved to a state where everything shuts down at 10 pm! Need a fifth of JD at 0300? Go get it at the grocery store.

    I agree COMPLETELY with you on the whole Cirque thing. Saw Love at The Mirage and thought it was great. Saw it again about 5 years later, hated it and was quite disappointed as well. After leaving the show I kept saying to myself “I don’t remember it being that bad”.

    Yes our city blocks are long and there isn’t enough money in the world to bribe my wife to wear heels 50 yards on the strip.

    Glad you had fun! Next time adventure off the strip. There are just as many, or more, amazing restaurants and places to see than on the strip.

  31. Whitney Manansala

    Well I was debating on going back to Vegas until I read your post. I immediately bought my husband and I tickets to go back for Memorial weekend. We LOVE Vegas! We want to go open our own Crossfit gym there one day! I can’t wait!

  32. Love your post! We went to see the Cirque show “Zumanity” and loved it, but it was before the accident so I often wondered if they had changed the show choreography at all.
    The food is fantastic in all of the fancy restaurants..We stayed at Mandalay Bay and there were so many restaurants in there that we didn’t even have to venture outside..It was fun exploring all of the other places though!
    My favorite..Mon Ami Gabi at The Paris..so good!
    also going up to Fremont Street and zip lining was super cool…I can’t wait to go back! 🙂

  33. next time you go, see the Zarkana Cirque show. it was gorgeous and awe-inspiring. I’ve also heard good things about Zumanity. Also, Pink Taco, have some actual food at Sugar Factory (chicken and waffles at 3am is BOSS, I believe the syrup was bourbon maple!) naked city pizza… go forth and eat my child.

  34. I’ve been to Vegas twice, once in summer and once in winter, the weather sucked both times (how can it be sooooo cold then sooooo f-ing hot!!) Never rent a car from Fox rental cars, they are cheap and there’s a reason why. A promise of free tickets to a show will inevitably lead to a four hour ploy to get you to buy a time share. Anyway…. I loved the Beatles LOVE show, loved that you can carry your alcoholic bev of choice everywhere you go!! Hash house a gogo is incredible for breakfast (aka hangover food), Burger Bar had a milkshake with nutella AND VODKA (Homina Homina)!!! Rice Bowl in the Luxor had great sushi and wine. I wanna go back to see the Brittany Spears show so bad!!!

  35. I am surprised people commented that they thought Ka was boring – we took friends (had to strong-arm them into paying for good seats so I was totally on the hook if they didn’t enjoy it) and we all LOVED it. My second favourite Cirque is Mystere. We have seen every Cirque show there, and Ka was my absolute favourite of all of them.

    Blue Man was also amazing- so much fun!

    We are heading to Vegas on December 10th and I have been trying to decide how to NOT get so far off track while we are there. I don’t know if I could get back on track again after we get back…

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