Favorite Things – Episode 70: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast

Today on the podcast, I’m talking about last weeks gym holiday party, reorganizing my life, a Bachelor recap then all the things I’m loving lately like retin-a, mint chocolate brownie larabar, Rose Pricks podcast, and glute workouts!

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Big thank you to this week’s sponsors!

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Episode 70 Transcription!

Today’s episode of PaleOMG Uncensored is brought to you by Aaptiv. It’s like Active, but with a P! Aaptiv shares audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. All you have to do to get your workout is simply listen on your phone. It’s that easy. And new members get 50% off the annual membership. All you have to do is go to Aaptiv.com/PaleOMG.

This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

1. Bachelor recap [23:16]
2. February Favorite Things [40:17]

Juli Bauer: Before I get started with this week’s episode, all about my favorite things, I’ve got to tell you about this week’s sponsor. We are into February now, and this is the time that people tend to forget about their own health and New Years’ Resolutions. I always see gym numbers dropping down, especially as February goes on.

But a healthy lifestyle will always require some level of commitment. You have to make time for exercise. You’ve got to get the right amount of sleep in, destress. And of course, you have to eat right. And that’s what I talk about every week on the blog. And that’s why Sunbasket is so amazing.

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So don’t let your busy lifestyle get in the way of your healthy goals. Just because it’s February doesn’t mean you should put your health aside. And Sunbasket is so convenient; they will make eating healthy in your household easier than ever. So if you want to learn more about Sunbasket, go to Sunbasket.com/PaleOMG to learn all about them and how amazing they are. And you can get $35 off your first order.

How’s it going? As soon as I started saying that, my stomach growled so loud. Which makes no sense, because I just ate so much food. I am PMSing like a mother effer. I know there’s no males that listen to this podcast, so it’s fine to talk about it. I’ve been grumpy for a week straight at this point. My poor husband. He’s so great. But, I’m not making it easy on him.

But that’s just what happens sometimes. So anyway. I’ve been trying to up my carbs to hopefully help with some of that spice going on. Whatever. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.

Let’s rewind. Let’s go back to before. Well, I guess I was PMSing last week, too. But let’s go back to last week after my last podcast had come out. We had our annual holiday party at our gym. Of course, what more do you want out of late January than a holiday party?

By the way, speaking of the holidays. I’m recording this on February 2nd. And I took my dog for a walk today. And my next door neighbor had just put their Christmas tree out with the trash. It’s February 2nd. That is incredibly offensive. That’s coming from a person who had my husband take our Christmas tree out Christmas night. Christmas is over. It’s donezo. Get the Christmas tree out of here. But February 2nd?

I understand keeping it up until the New Year. January 1st. January 2nd because you’re being lazy as f*ck. I get it. But February 2nd? Number one that’s gross. Number two that’s gross. Number three that’s offensive.

So as I’m thinking of this; like, oh my gosh. That’s so gross. So annoying. I don’t know why I’m so offended. Just because I’m PMSing. It’s not my house. But whatever. I walk into the gym, and I notice that the gym; my CrossFit gym. Their Christmas tree is up. And there are no lights on it anymore. So they took the time to take the lights down, but didn’t throw the Christmas tree out.

Which makes no sense, because they have a dumpster! You don’t have to wait for a certain trash day to come. You can put your f*cking tree in the dumpster. So this sad, wilting, disgusting Christmas tree is sitting at the front to welcome any guests that are coming in.

And we always get a lot of drop-ins because we’re really close to downtown Denver. And you’re welcomed by a nasty-ass rotting Christmas tree. Oh my gosh. {laughs} I wonder if you can hear my stomach growl. That was so loud.

But are you kidding me? It’s February! If you’re not just pile driving your mouth with chocolate because it’s supposed to be Valentine’s Day soon, you’re not doing life right. {laughs} Pile driving. What does that even mean?

Ok, back to my story. So, last Saturday was the holiday party. When I first started at this gym almost 7 years ago, the first Christmas party I went to; I didn’t drink hardly ever back then. So it would be like one or two times a year I would go hard. And I’m a person who cannot handle alcohol very well. I just black out. So that’s what I did. I was training for competitions; CrossFit competitions back then. So I didn’t really drink. So when I did, I was f*cking going hard.

And I was really insecure, never dressed up. I’m like; “Ok, this is the time I get to dress up and feel pretty.” Whatever. And hopefully somebody will bring males. Because I was not married at this point 7 years ago. Hopefully somebody will bring males to this Christmas party and I’ll meet someone outside of the gym.

So the first Christmas party; I think all of this happened at the first one. A girl was trying to shove booze down this guy’s throat. And his wife, who was pregnant at the time, was not into that, and started yelling at her. And was like, “leave my husband alone. He’s f*cking wasted anyway.” And the girl tried to fight the pregnant woman.

So this fight breaks out, and then the guys are trying to break it up. And then the guys start fighting. And they’re trying to get this couple, who is starting the fight in the first place. Trying to get this couple out the door. And something happens. They grab onto the garage door. Because we had; this was at our old gym. We had these big garage doors. Somebody grabs onto it and slits their finger open and cuts part of their finger off.

So there’s blood everywhere. And then one of the guys who used to be a member there; these are all old members. They’re not members anymore at this point. But one of the guys was a nurse. So he is super wasted, and freaking sews this guy’s finger up, drunk. Then multiple people vomit on the gym floor. Multiple people sleep there. There’s booze everywhere, a sticky floor.

I ended up at a gay bar, which I got kicked out of because I was making out with a guy in front of the door, blocking the entry way. And they’re like, “Get the f*ck out, you straight chick. We don’t need you in here.” So I got kicked out of a gay bar. It was a great night. All in all, it was a great night.

And then we had a couple more Christmas parties that were awesome there. But the clean up after those parties; it’s awful. Because the gym smells like booze for weeks, and vomit, and mildew. So finally the owner of our gym decided that gym parties were no more, and he took it to a bar that one of our gym members owns really close to our gym.

And it’s like, it’s not a bar I would ever go into and hang out in. But that’s not saying much, because I hate going out in public places in general. My anxiety just keeps getting worse with age. But this is a bar that; it’s pretty sketchy.

When I say that, I mean as we were leaving this bar. I’m getting ahead of myself. But as we were leaving this bar that night, there was a woman in a body con dress. Like, hot pink, tight as can be. So those ones that I used to sport in f*cking college. Skin tight. And she was a good 7 months pregnant. At a bar. At least 11 p.m. f*cking owning it. Maybe I’m just judgey, whatever.

So anyway. Rewind. Before the holiday party at the sketch bar, I met up with a bunch of girls from my gym. I think there were 7 to 9 of us. We went to; it’s something different now. It used to be called Pinche Tacos. Which I think it means f*cking tacos. But I’m sure everyone complained because everyone in the world complains nowadays and is offended by everything. So I think they changed it to Tequila’s Whiskey Tacos or something stupid. No offense to them because their tacos are fantastic, if anyone is listening from Pinche Tacos. I miss your old name, and your tacos are the best.

But we went there beforehand, and we got a sh*t ton of tacos and guacamole and salsa. And then we also got margaritas. So my first margarita, I just got their regular margarita. And I’ve never liked tequila, and I’ve started to like tequila more. I don’t know what changed me. But I think it’s spicy margaritas.

So I got a serrano margarita there, and it was perfect. Perfect spice level, delicious, I had a good buzz going. My tacos tasted even better. And then I got a second serrano margarita, and it was truly one of the spiciest things I’ve ever had. You just never know what you’re going to get with jalapenos or serranos or f*cking whatever. But this serrano margarita was one of the spiciest thing I ever drank.

And I had just put on Chapstick. So they also line their margarita glass, I’m pretty sure, with cayenne pepper. So it’s like cayenne pepper, just a little bit, but then salt along with it. But then you put Chapstick on, you put salt and cayenne pepper on your lips with serrano pepper fire. My lips were on fire. My face was sweating. I felt like my sticky boobs were going to slide off. It was a mess. And then my friend Aaron, he showed up. And he was like; is that spicy? I’m like, no, not at all. So he takes a sip and then he’s in hell. And then my other girlfriend takes a sip.

Looking back, I’m really disappointed that I shared drinks because people are disgusting, and I could have gotten sick. This flu epidemic going on is so scary. So scary. Luckily I’m a healthy person. But you never know when you’re going to get it. Oh my god, I’m so scared all the time. More reason not to go out in public with other human beings.

So I get a good buzz going. And what I wanted to do was enjoy; the only way I’m going to actually drink alcohol is if it tastes really good. Don’t give me a vodka soda. Don’t give me a tequila soda. Don’t give me sh*t that tastes bad. I want a good tasting cocktail. And that’s the only way I’m going to drink my calories.

So I have good cocktails there. And then we go to the sketchy bar that serves sketchy drinks, and everyone is going to have the worst hangover ever. So luckily, I think I had half a drink there, but I spilled it all on the dance floor. So luckily, f*ck it. But I danced my face off. And it’s so fun getting to know people at your gym who you only see for an hour most of the time. Sometimes you hang out with them, but you don’t really get to know them and what they’re like until you see them in a setting where music comes out.

And you see the guys; I see these one guys, because I always go to EDM dance shows a lot of times in town. So I see them all the time, so I know they’re going to f*cking get down on the dance floor, and they’re up for anything. Which I dig. But then I had this one guy who doesn’t talk much. And he was breaking out in salsa dancing. I was like; what the f*ck? This little white guy. I’m like, who are you?

So it’s so fun dancing with everybody. Then the bar turned over. And I’m like; ok, I shouldn’t be here anymore. And I was doing some fun adult stuff. I can’t get into it, because people freak out. But I was enjoying Colorado to it’s fullest potential. And I was like; I need to get the f*ck out of this bar. Get me out of here. I don’t want to be here anymore. People are trying to suddenly talk business.

You’re trying to talk about business situations? You’re trying to pitch something? At 11 p.m. on a Saturday night in a bar that I’ve just lost my voice because I’ve been screaming for the past hour. I cannot function anymore. So I got the hell out of there.

You know what I did? I cam home with my husband and we watched New Girl. First of all, I had a good buzz going on. He was telling me very important things. And as soon as we got home, I go; “So what did you do before the party tonight?” And he had literally told me 20 minutes before. And it was very important. And he had told me what he had done, and who he had seen, and it was an important conversation, and I had already forgotten. He was not pumped about me right then. Not my best moment. Not my best shining time.

So that sucked. But we got home. And put on New Girl. And it’s the only show I want to watch right now. I go through these phases of just wanting to watch a show from the beginning. So I’ll do the Office. I’ll do Parks and Rec. Sometimes Friends even. Now I’m on New Girl. Because I gave up on New Girl when Megan Fox took Zooey Deschanel’s spot, as Zooey Deschanel was birthing humans. And I just wasn’t into her. Nothing against Megan Fox. She’s beautiful. She’s lovely. I just don’t watch New Girl for her.

So now I get to watch it from the beginning. And I heard it’s their last season coming up with only a few episodes. So I’m just redoing it all. And f*ck, that show was so hilarious. The first two seasons are gold. Straight up gold. Do yourself a favor; go on Netflix and watch New Girl if you haven’t already. Even if you have, it’s the best.

I’ve also started watching The Crown. Super into The Crown right now. Kind of get bored sometimes, because they’re making the British seem absolutely boring as f*ck. I mean, it’s dull, dull, dull. Even the colors are dull. But that’s how they like to keep it. But it’s so interesting learning all these facts about the royal family.

And then I’m like; why don’t we have a royal family here? Why are we so obsessed with the royal family that we have nothing to do with? Why don’t we have a royal family here? We just have Trump. And don’t worry, I’m not getting into politics. Keep my mouth shut. I don’t want to hear what other people have to say about politics, so I sure as f*ck don’t want to hear myself talk about politics.

But we just have Trump. Why can’t we have the royal family? Why? They’re much better looking than Trump, that’s for f*cking sure. I guess Trump does have a good looking family. But still. I’m sorry, Trump is hideous. Ugh! I’ve gotten too much into politics. Rewind.

So anyway. By getting home by 11 that night, and watching New Girl, I woke up sober as can be. No hangover. That’s what happens when you drink actually high quality drinks instead of; well, vodka sh*t drinks at a sketchy bar that smells like intense cologne. So I woke up the next day feeling like a million bucks.

And then on Monday, I went to the gym. And of course, everybody is talking about how they felt Sunday. And everybody had the Sunday scaries. And then Monday scaries, where you’re still feeling really terrible about yourself. And you’re like, “Why did I do that? Why did I cry to my cab driver? Why did I talk to that guy? Why did I sleep with that person? Why did I make up with that person? Why do I hate myself?” You know. The process of drinking. I am so glad that I’ve moved past that. I guess I still have my moments. Like my Cabo moment, if you listened to that podcast.

But, luckily I did not have that. And I felt great. And I just got to listen to all the stories. I can’t wait.

And then tonight, I get to at least say this because this podcast doesn’t come out until tomorrow. Tonight is the birthday surprise party for the owner of our gym. He’s turning, the old fart 40. And I only say that about him. Anybody else who is turning 40, they’re not an old fart. But him I will say that because it hurts his feelings, and it’s the best.

If you haven’t listened to my episode with the owner of CrossFit Broadway, you totally should. And then you understand our relationship more. But he’s turning 40. So his girlfriend? Fiancé? I don’t know. Is throwing a surprise birthday for him. So I’m guessing there will be even more stories on Saturday. I love listening to drunk people stories when it’s not your own. It’s just the best. Those stories are the best.

Anywho. I just love that gym. I’m going through this stage; maybe because I’m PMSing really bad. And I feel like you should do this every 2 years or so. Change up your scenery. And I mean that by redecorating and just sprucing up your living environment. So I’m kind of going through that right now. My office is a f*cking shitstorm because I plan all my outfits in that office. I take all my food photos. I have all the props for all my food photos in that room. So it’s just a f*cking shitstorm.

So I’m going to redecorate that this weekend. I’m also going to redecorate our bedroom and give that a little spruce up. We’ve been in our house for maybe three? Going on three years now. So it totally feels like it’s time to do something different in our room. Give it a new facelift. So I was going to document that on the blog.

And then I’m going to also do a revamp of our pantry. Get our pantry organized. So I’m going to talk about all of that on the blog and share that. But I’m just feeling; you know when your house feels like it’s coming in on you? Maybe some people don’t feel like that. But we just got a new house cleaner who does an amazing job. And it just feels like; Ok. Let’s do this. Clean everything out.

We’re getting new window well covers. It’s f*cking; maybe just because taxes have passed. Or dealing with my taxes have passed. So I’m like; ok, I know I have money. Paying taxes is a b*tch. So now I can buy window wells so people don’t fall in my window wells when they’re trying to walk to my front door. That hasn’t happened yet. But I don’t know; people are the worst. It will happen, and they’ll sue me. I think the worst in everyone {laughs}.

1. Bachelor recap [23:16]

Ok. Before we talk about favorite things on the podcast, I want to talk about a little Bachelor recap. And I’m going to talk about; I don’t know. I’m going to talk about last week because that’s what I did last time. My friend Paul; I was at his house with his wife the other night. And he was like; “I tried to listen to your podcast, and then you did a Bachelor recap, and I turned it off.” I’m like, what the f*ck, Paul? What the f*ck? But shout out to Paul, because he’s the best. Even though he doesn’t listen. That’s ok. It’s fair, Paul. I wouldn’t either. But hey, whatever.

So let’s talk about the Bachelor real quick. Because even though this season is so pointless, it’s still so interesting. I don’t know why. Arie is a sack of potatoes. He has nothing to offer. Or at least the producers are not showing anything that he has to offer. He’s just this bro who doesn’t work out. That was such a judgey thing. He just had a hot tub moment, and I’m like, “Ari, you need to get in the gym, pro. You need to pump a couple of weights.”

I know that’s b*tchy. I know it is. But, that’s also health. And you’re the Bachelor, bro. You have all these women fawning over you for no apparent reason. Because you seem incredibly boring. You don’t work out. You do live in Scottsdale, and I do like Scottsdale. Going there this month. Cannot wait. But he’s so boring.

So let’s start off. Chris Harrison comes in in an awful plaid. He doesn’t dress up anymore; he’s just in his plaid and jeans. Pretty much jean shorts. And he’s like, “Ladies. We’re about to go around the world to Lake Tahoe.” It’s like; what are you talking about? You’re in Lake Tahoe.

Which, I really want to go to Lake Tahoe. It’s on my to go list at some point. Kind of only want to go there when it’s warm. Because I hate everything that’s cold at this point, after almost dying on the road. That’s how I feel.

So anyway. They go to Lake Tahoe. Sienne gets the one on one date. Sienne is this chick who has; I don’t know. I think she’s a lawyer. She has her sh*t together. She’s incredible intelligent. Has traveled all over the world. Lived all over the place. And she’s so great. They have nothing to talk about together. He says nothing.

And it’s almost like the producers are trying to show how awkward the silence is, because they didn’t really play much music with it. So it’s just silence and the water. They’re in the sand by the beach. And the water is just coming up on shore. And Sienne is like; “I love the sound of waves.” And Arie says, “Waves are awesome.” Because that’s the only thing Arie likes to say, is awesome.

And if I’ve learned anything, it’s you should play a drinking game, and every time Arie says awesome, amazing, like, or he makes noises while he makes out with someone, you should drink. I won’t, because I blackout within four sips of alcohol. But everybody else should totes do it.

So their lake date ends at a super romantic spot; the Hard Rock Hotel. Always been a dream of mine. And he talks about how much he likes her. And gives her this little peck. Instead of kissing and making out like he does with every single person and his hand in private, he just pecks her. Just a little {smooch}. Just like you kiss your parent. Adorbs. Eww.

And then they have to go do what they do on every single f*cking date. Have to go dance in front of a singer that nobody knows. And have to dance on a platform with an audience and make out. How awfully incredibly embarrassing? Just an audience staring at you on your first date? Talk about awful.

So let’s see. I don’t know. Mikel is told that her grandpa dies. So she leaves; so sad. So she has to leave and go to his funeral. Then they have this group date. And they’re out in the Lake Tahoe wilderness; my hell hole. And they have this couple that comes up. And it’s this man and wife couple. And they’re like, “You think being out in the wilderness with your man is romantic, but you actually have to survive.” And I’m like, who has ever said that’s romantic? No.

I had friends, and they had to sleep in the snow. They had to stay overnight. Make a sh*tty little hut out of branches, and cover themselves in branches to sleep in the snow. They had sleeping bags and everything. But they had to sleep in the f*cking snow! One of my girlfriends was on that trip. Not romantic. Obviously, it wasn’t even for romance. But not f*cking romantic.

And then the next morning, they woke up and they had to hike four miles to get to this f*cking hut. This is my actual nightmare. To die in the snow. No thank you.

So anyway. They {laughs}. So this guy says, “So you think being in the mountains with your significant other is romantic? Well it’s not. It’s all about survival. So we’ve got to recycle.” I think he has an accent or something. And they’re like, “you have to drink your own piss.” So they’re all given a water bottle to go into the mountain and piss in a water bottle and have to drink it.

So they come back, and Ari’s like, “I’ll drink mine.” And then he drinks this water bottle, and then he spits it out. He’s like, “Huh-huh! It’s just apple juice! You thought I drank my own pee! Huh-huh.” He has a terrible laugh.

A couple of the girls were about to drink their own piss. One of the girls, I think it was Jenna, she’s like, “I’d do anything for Ari.” What are you talking about? You literally; it’s the toxins coming out of your body. Whatever. Piss is sterile, or something? People in the desert who need water, wouldn’t they just drink their own pee? I don’t know. I don’t know anything about survival skills. And I definitely don’t know anything about drinking my own piss, because it has never been on my agenda. But these girls are all the way down for it.

So, that, luckily doesn’t happen. Who knows if they even pissed in these water bottles. And then they have to eat bugs. They eat worms and maybe crickets or something. And I’ve seen crickets in Mexico, and you put hot sauce on them or something. Not interested. Definitely not f*cking worms. If there’s anything I learned, it’s, don’t do sh*t for a dude that you don’t want to do. I haven’t learned much in my life, but I’ve learned that. And I definitely ain’t eating bugs or drinking my own piss for a dude. But these girls are f*cking down.

So after they eat their bugs and don’t totally drink their own pee, they have to split up into groups and go off into the mountains. And, I don’t know. Make it back to this cabin. They’re given a one-mile map. One group gets to go with Ari, so they’re all happy as can be. And the other girls are fighting and don’t know where to go. And it starts to snow, and it’s wet, and some girl is just playing with pebbles instead of trying to figure out where they’re supposed to be going. It all just looks like such a sh*t show.

But they turn this corner, and it’s like the most beautiful serene cabin. And it has a lake. If I didn’t have to walk to get there, I would totes go. But it has this awesome hot tub outside. So they get to it. And this is when the show becomes all about Crystal.

Crystal has totally become the villain of the season. And the producers, you know are just egging her on to say all this sh*t. And be over the top confident in her own skin. And she has a lot to be confident about. She’s stunning. Arie took her home to his parent’s house, so she’s like, “Obviously, he really likes me.” Crystal just repeats the stuff that a therapist would have you repeat. She just is a therapy talker. Just full on says therapy stuff all the time.

But then she also says how flawless she is. When you say sh*t like that; the producers are like, oh f*ck yeah. We are going to ruin your life. And I feel bad even saying anything about her. Because I went to her Instagram page, and people are so f*cking mean to her. Because people take this show so seriously. Which is so weird. And they’re just being so f*cking mean. So I don’t have really anything to say about her other than she is the villain. Poor girl. Because you know she can’t last that much longer. Arie is so over her.

So let’s see. {laughs} So one of my favorite parts in this episode is some Lauren chick, some blonde chick, pulls Arie over to the side during the cocktail hour. And she’s like; “So what are you looking for in a woman? I know you said that you’re looking for someone with a flexible schedule.” {laughs} It’s like, isn’t everyone looking for someone with a flexible schedule? It’s like, “Hey, do you want to hang out?” And they can. Isn’t that what everybody wants?

But when I think about everything I need in my counterpart, I never think; “I need someone with a flexible schedule.” That’s just; that can’t be at the top of the list. Because f*cking people got sh*t to do. That’s such a weird, odd thing to say. She sounds so stupid.

And then she also says, “I want a relationship where we’re old and gross looking and still spank each other’s butts and tell dirty jokes.” I was like; how old are you, Lauren? You sound like you’re 14. Whatever.

So the episode ends with Arie and Bekah. She’s the 22-year-old going on a hot tub date. They go in a hot tub that overlooks Lake Powell. Which looks quite nice, honestly. It looks like a lovely hot tub. And then finally; they’re the only two that seem like Arie has a personality and a connection with. It’s the only time he ever talks and says more than awesome and amazing. So good on ya, Arie.

And then finally the topic comes up that she’s 22. They made such a big deal and build up to it. And what does Arie do? Nothing. He’s 36. When has a guy ever been like; “Uh, you’re too young for me.” That is not on Ari’s mind at this point. He doesn’t give a f*ck. No. Everybody thought he’d be like; oh, he’d dump her. She’s 22. No. He wants to bang her. He’s not going to dump her ass. 22; those boobs are quite perky. She hasn’t worn a bra the entire time. He doesn’t give a f*ck.

But she does wear giant hoop earrings, and when he kisses her, he sticks his two middle fingers between her earrings, and it makes me sick to my stomach. He fingered her hoop earrings. {cough, gag} Ew! So gross. She loves hoop earrings. Whatever.

So anyway. I don’t care about the rest. Caroline goes home and Brittany goes home, and it’s so sad. Brittany says that she’s hopeful for the future while she’s crying. Oh my god, Brittany. You deserve the best. So sad. And that’s all I have to say about that. So for all you skippers out there. Were done. Don’t you worry! {laughs}

I’m going to take a quick break from this episode to talk a little bit more about this weeks’ sponsor; Aaptiv. Since we’re into February, you may have lost that drive to get into the gym every day. I hope that’s not the case, but I have worked in gyms almost my entire life and I see that happen every single time February hits. So let’s stay motivated together. Even if it’s in the comfort of your own home. Aaptiv is here to make that happen.

Aaptiv produces audio-based workouts created by certified personal trainers available through a mobile app. They carefully select a group of certified personal trainers that guide you through every workout. This means you’ll get a wide array of personalities, voices, and styles. Plus, Aaptiv’s in-house music production team partners with every trainer to create music play lists that are perfectly timed to the intensity and pace of your workout, so you stay motivated throughout.

One of the coolest parts about Aaptiv is that you can do the workouts from anywhere. Whether you like to workout at the gym, at home, outside, or when you’re traveling. Aaptiv is ready to go along with you. All you have to do is plug in your headphones, and it’s like you have a personal trainer in your pocket.

And they do different workouts for everyone. They offer running, strength training, cycling, stair climbing, yoga, and even meditation. Aaptiv trainers give you the guidance you need to be better at the workouts you love the most. They also offer maternity programs and marathon trainings. And they have seasonal challenges to keep you motivated and excited through the year.

Aaptiv subscriptions usually start at $14.99 billed monthly, or $99.99 for an annual membership. But right now for a limited time, new members get 50% off an annual membership. Which is just $49.99 for the whole year of unlimited workouts. All you have to do is visit Aaptiv.com/PaleOMG.

Aaptiv wants you to set your goals this year and accomplish them, even as the months go on and on. There’s no need to forget about your New Years’ Resolutions. You can keep pushing through them and accomplishing your goals week after week. They have more than 2500 workouts available, and they’re adding 30 new classes each week. So there’s always a new workout to try.

So if you’re ready to continue with your goals this year, go try out adaptive. I promise you you’re going to love it. I have so many friends that use it, and always tell me about it, not even knowing I know what it is. They seriously love it. So go to Aaptiv.com/PaleOMG to get 50% off your annual membership. And thank you, Aaptiv, for being such an amazing sponsor.

2. February Favorite Things [40:17]

Ok, let’s talk about some favorites. Things I’m loving right now. Things I’m shoving in my face. What I’m doing. What I’m needing on a daily basis. Let’s talk about it all.

I want to start with a product that I’m using almost every day. And speaking of that; I ran out of it, and I really need it. So I need to purchase more of it, so thank you for the reminder. Thank you guys. You’re literally the best.

So, I wash my hair probably every five days. I’m not a huge fan of doing that, because not only is it time consuming, but I have naturally blonde hair and dye my hair brown. So hair dye can easily come out. The more you wash it, the more it comes out. So I just like to not wash it. And I’m f*cking lazy.

So to keep my hair looking less frightening, I always, as soon as I workout, I take it out from my ponytail to let it airdry so the grease and oils don’t build up. And then I use this Living Proof brand. I have to find the exact; because I’m going to call it something else than it is. I just always call it texture spray. But I have no idea what it’s actually called.

Ok, so it’s Living Proof Full Dry Volume Blast. So as soon as I take my hair down, I let it air dry, and then I’ll often recurl my hair in the morning just to give it a little bit more volume. And it gets really frizzy as I sleep.

A guy said my podcast was horrible last week because I yawn all the time, and I shouldn’t do it when I’m tired. I’m not tired at all. Just to this person. I just yawn because I talk nonstop for an hour. You try doing it, brah!

So anyway. This Living Proof Dry Volume Blast. I’ll use it after I curl my hair, and it gives your hair this body, and volume, and texture. And it’s so beautiful. And it makes your hair smell amazing. So sometimes I just kind of spray it on the roots, too, just to get some good smelling on the scalp. Because nobody likes a nasty smelling scalp.

There’s this guy at our gym, and he smells terrible. And he smells like BO. And I really want to tell him. Because I consider him a friend. But how do you tell someone that? How do you tell them? I told the owner that he should tell him, because his gym smells like ass.

Anyway. This Living Proof Dry Volume Blast is amazing. Highly recommend it. I think you can purchase it on Amazon. A lot of salons have it as well. I’m not totally sure. But you should totally check it out. It’s the best.

Something else that I’ve been adding back onto my skin that I hadn’t been doing for a while because I ran out of it is Retin-A. I had gone to the dermatologist for kind of normal checkup that I do. I’ve been on spironolactone for my acne for a while now. So I go get my blood checked and get my prescription renewed once a year. She was like; “Are you on Retin-A?” I’m like, no I’ve been really bad about it. I ran out of my prescription and then kind of forgot.

So she wrote me a prescription for Retin-A. Added that back to my skin, and it’s been a couple of weeks now. And I’m just doing it every other day. And it’s been hard. It’s always so hard to transition into Retin-A because your skin gets so dry. Especially here in Colorado. It’s so f*cking dry here. But your skin gets dry, and it gets flaky. Because it’s like rebuilding; I forget what it is exactly. But it’s rebuilding the collagen in your skin. Or getting rid of the first few layers of your skin. So it’s just like sloughing, like snake-style. Just getting rid of all that f*cking nasty skin.

So, I’ve been sketchy looking for a while now, and all around my mouth. But something that; I have a couple of estheticians. And one of my estheticians recommended, when you put on Retin-A mix it with your cream that you’re using overnight. So I use Tula multispectrum overnight cream. So she said mix it with your face cream, and then do dots around the outside of your face. So on the top of your forehead, by your jawline. And then work your way in.

Because so many people start right at the nose, pull down by the mouth and eyes. And so you get especially dry in the creases. So this way you blend from the outside in. And that really helps that you don’t get the overabundance of Retin-A right at your nose and creases where it’s more able to crack.

So anyway, I’ve been adding in Retin-A back to my routine. And even just a few weeks of using it every other day, my skin I feel like has never looked better. Its with the spironolactone and using all my products on a regular basis. Plus the Retin-A. My skin has looked smooth. It’s looks just one color instead of all the sunspots and normal things that I have and discoloration. It’s just really helped with that.

I have been loving Retin-A. I hate the process of it, and it sucks. But it is so worth it. It looks so much better than it used to. Love it.

Let’s see what other stuff I’m loving. I just went shopping today. I did a little shopping; we’re going to Scottsdale soon. My husband and I, for a trip. And I was getting some stuff for Scottsdale. And I did a little shopping for him. And I don’t normally shop for him. He does his own shopping. He has his own style. But he doesn’t ever really shop.

So, I’m trying to expand his style a little bit more and find him stuff that I know he will like, but it will be different than what he would choose for himself. So I’ve been shopping at Express for his clothes. And Express has a ton of professional clothing; nice shirts and nice dress pants and whatever. But I’ve been shopping for him for T-shirts and f*ck the yawns. I’m so sorry.

But I’ve been shopping for short sleeved shirts and long-sleeved sweater. I just bought him a bomber jacket. I love Express for myself. And I talk about it all the time. And if you follow me on Like To Know It, you see that a lot of my outfits are from Express. Because all their stuff just fits me so well. Their jeans are fantastic, especially if you have bigger legs, bigger butt, and a smaller waist. Their jeans are incredibly stretchy and amazing.

So I love them. But I’ve been shopping now for my husband. And anything I purchase for him clothing wise has been from Express. I’m obsessed. Love them.

And another place I’ve been doing shopping, but not for my husband. For the house is Overstock. And I know; everybody knows about Overstock. Its not like I’m telling you new stuff. And I still have everything in my basket, or my cart, that I need to check out with. But Overstock has all the best finds.

If you find one lamp that you like, they’re going to show you also 20 other lamps that are similar and different price points. So it just leads you down cool directions every time instead of just drowning in trying to find the perfect one thing.

So I’m redecorating our bedroom and pretty much everything I’m purchasing is going to be from Overstock. I found a new comforter, new sheets. I got new bedside tables. A plant that’s artificial plant, because I don’t trust myself at keeping anything alive other than myself and my dog. And I bought a couple of table lamps that are totally different table lamps. So I’ll do a whole post about that.

But I’m just loving how easy it is to find cool things on their website that are affordable. Not overdoing the budget. I just love it. They just make it so easy to find cool stuff. I’m just obsessed. So Overstock has been my new go-to. I bought all our kitchen chairs on Overstock and a couple of chairs for our bedroom. But now, I’m going to redo the full-on bedroom. I can’t wait to actually get it done and then share the photos from it. Because it’s just the best.

I’ve been listening to and obsessing over Rose Prick’s podcast. Just a little; I always like sharing other podcasts I’ve been listening to. Because I always write down when other people share their favorites. And I think I did that last time, so I don’t have a ton of new ones. But my favorite podcast every week to listen to is Rose Prick’s. They are f*cking hilarious. If you like Bachelor recaps that are funny, love it.

I feel like I tried to listen to the podcast Here to Make Friends, or Not Here to Make Friends. Something like that. And they were just a little bit too serious about the Bachelor. I like it to all be lighthearted and hilarious. And Rose Prick’s is so f*cking funny. I die laughing every single time.

And then I love Kaitlin Bristow’s Off the Vine. She just added Grape Therapy. So she has Off the Vine, and then on Thursday of her same Off the Vine podcast, she has another episode where she does Bachelor recaps and just talks with friends. It’s a little bit more laid back, and I kind of like that one more. I just like listening to people have a good time. You know? Just relax. It doesn’t have to be all serious interviews all the time.

I just started listening to the new podcast, Atlanta Monster. So if you like true crime podcasts, this one is really good so far. The fifth episode just came out, so they’re on weekly episodes. And I love it. Payne Lindsey, he is the creator of it and he was on Megan Kelly’s show the other day. On the Today show. Which I f*cking hate that show so much. I don’t feel that way about anything other than the View. Because it’s 10 women trying to yell over each other. But I do not like listening to Megan Kelly. I don’t know what it is. Not her, just the show in general. It’s so weird.

She’ll be like, “{serious} Next. We’re going to listen to a father telling us his story about how he lost his child to the flu. {upbeat} And then next, we’re going to say how you spice up your wardrobe.” It makes me feel so uncomfortable. I don’t know. She doesn’t transition well. That was a very off; I don’t know what I’m trying to say.

Anyway. Atlanta Monster is really good. But Rose Prick’s is what I look forward to every Tuesday, because they do it as soon as the episode ends. And they come out with it Tuesday morning, I think. Or Monday night. But they are the best. Rose Prick’s. Listen to it.

Next up; if you’ve been following me on social media, like on Instagram. Hopefully you’ve noticed I’ve been sharing a ton of butt workouts. So kind of my goal for 2018, total vain, vanity goal of 2018 was to get a perkier, bigger butt. Total vanity. I always want to stay fit, and I keep up with my regular workouts. But CrossFit just doesn’t always give you a little more plump butt. My butt will always grow, but it will usually grow with my thigh size. So it’s not an outwards tall butt. It’s like a wider butt, if that makes sense. And that is just kind of how my body plays out.

Not for everybody. I’m sure you’ve seen all those crossfitters out there, like Brooke Ence, or Miranda Oldroyd, or any of those top crossfitters who have beautiful bubble butts. But that is just not me. I have to actual butt workouts to actually grow my butt.

So I started following this amazing guy. I’ve talked about him on the podcast and on my Instagram. And I think I might ask him if he’ll come on the podcast, if he has time. But his name is Brett Contreras. He’s out of San Diego. He has a PhD. He’s a badass motherf*cker who trains all these people. But he created the hip thrust, and he has a hip thruster machine thing.

But he shares all these different workouts that he does with his own clients. So I’ve just kind of been copying them. I downloaded his eBook that he published a long time ago just to see some of the stuff in his eBook and read a little bit of background. But I listened to him recently on Barbell Shrugged, and he was just such a chill, humble, cool guy. And he just knows what he’s f*cking talking about.

So I started following a lot of his workouts, and just kind of making up my own with the equipment I had on hand at my own gym. And I got a gym membership outside of my CrossFit gym just so I could do butt workouts two to three times a week. I’m really trying to do three times a week, but sometimes it’s just not possible if I’m traveling or whatever is going on.

So two to three times a week I’m trying to add in these butt movements. Sometimes I do a CrossFit workout on top of it. Sometimes I just do the butt workout. And literally, I’m just firing away at those glutes and hamstrings. And something I’ve been loving doing, and I add in every single time I do a butt workout is hip thrusts.

Go to my Instagram if you don’t know what a hip thrust is. Or go to Brett Contreras1 Instagram. He has a million hip thrusts there. But it just fires your glutes unlike any other workout. So for me I can do all the f*cking squats in the world. I can do all the lunges in the world. But these hip thrusts actually build your butt, unlike any of those other movements do. So I still add in all the squats, and lunges. I did pistils the other day. But every single time I do a butt workout, I also do hip thrusts on top of it. And sometimes I’m increasing weight. Sometimes I’m going down. Sometimes I’m doing body weight. I’m trying to just mix it up all the time.

And I still feel like I don’t totally know what I’m doing in the fact I just don’t know what that scheme should look like every week. But I just keep playing around with stuff. That’s how I’ve learned best in the past. And we’ll kind of see how it goes.

But I think I’m going to reach out to him and ask him to be on the podcast. Because I loved listening to him on Barbell Shrugged. If you haven’t listened to that podcast, listen to it. They’re super cool. But I loved listening to him especially on it. He was just so interesting.

A few people have asked me if I’ve seen any differences or any improvements since I started doing these workouts. I don’t know physically if I’ve seen any differences. I’ve noticed that I’ve been almost able; I can feel differences from the outside. Physically I don’t know if I see any difference. But luckily I took a picture beforehand and I can compare it.

But it’s only been probably 7 weeks of doing these movements. And me and how I’ve experienced my own fitness goals, which some goals I didn’t attain for 7 years because my body went through so many changes. So I don’t expect results incredibly fast. And I get that out of my head. I just expect to see goals over time, and can’t wait for them.

But more than anything, doing these movements, which I think is crazy. My hip flexibility has gotten better. So my flexibility and mobility. Even in stretches, I wasn’t able to ever get into this one stretch, and now I can easily. And then my squat has improved. I’m not trying to go heavier, but my position has improved. And even my pistils have improved; my one-legged squats. Because I’m able to fire on my top glute, which I never was able to before. So my knee would always fall in.

So I’ve seen these improvements in even my CrossFit workouts from doing this stuff on the side. I really wish CrossFit would add in hip thrusts. I think it would be so helpful to so many people who have issues with squatting. I think it would be so helpful. It sucks that CrossFit won’t do that. My coach kind of talks sh*t about me doing it sometimes. But then he gets on the train later on.

So hopefully I can talk him into adding some of those into class. We will see. But dudes will be dudes. But for real, go follow Brett Contreras. He’s amazing.

Then I want to talk about four food things I’m loving right now. And three of them are chocolate. So obviously I’m on my period. Whatever. So Alter Eco. Now I need to look this up, because I want to get the product right. But you can always go to AlterEco.com and they have all their products there. But I think they just recently launched this product. Or I just recently came across it.

Oh my god. How does this keep happening? I keep going to different websites, and they’re all in Spanish. I think because I looked at them in Cabo or something. And yeah. I have no idea how this is happening. I don’t want Spanish! Now I have to find this product. Why did I not look it up ahead of time? What a dick.

They are these chocolate; coconut chips. So think about coconut chips. Little coconut chip clusters with chocolate on the bottom. And it has sea salt in it. It’s so delicious. They have other stuff like sea salt and what else? I forget. I found them on my Instagram page. Alter Eco Dark Chocolate Coconut Clusters.

So these coconut pieces are lightly toasted. And then they make little clusters. They put chocolate on them. One comes with pumpkin seeds. And it is the best little treat. I’m so obsessed with it. It’s not overly sweet. It has a good amount of salt to it. They’re just so freaking delicious .and I like to have that as a treat at night if I’m in the treat mood.

I also am obsessed with; I’m kind of obsessed with chocolate and mint right now. So Taza chocolate, one of my favorite chocolate brands. They have chocolate bark right now that is the best. They have a peppermint chocolate bark. And it has quinoa in it, so it’s not paleo specific. But it’s really satisfying. It’s not overly sweet. It doesn’t have a ton of sugar in it. It’s just delicious. It’s so good.

And then another product, which has more sugar in it. Much more sugar, because it’s dates. But Larabar; I just found they have a mint chocolate brownie Larabar. And it’s amazing. It is so freaking good. And it has a lot of sugar in it because; hello, dates. I heard two dates have more sugar than a Snickers bar or something, which is pretty bananas. The mint chocolate brownie is so, so good.

Another thing I’ve been loving, and I mentioned at the beginning of this podcast, is Sunbasket. I’m seriously obsessed with Sunbasket right now. And not just because they’re a sponsor, I swear. I’ve been getting my Sunbasket every two weeks, and it comes with three meals. And they are under 30 minutes. They’re super easy to make and they’re so flavorful.

So on the nights I just don’t feel like coming up with my own, or maybe I’m running out of groceries, I have one of these ready to go. And it’s so freaking good. And all the ingredients are measured to portion. I already told you guys all about that. But it’s just the coolest, amazing company. And their food is so, so good.

And I was talking to some friends at a party this weekend, and they’ve tried a lot of other different companies. And they said that they’re favorite is Sunbasket. And I heard that from multiple people. So I just love them, and not just because they’re sponsoring this podcast. But because I have loved every single thing that I’ve eaten from them.

Tonight I’m going to make a steak salad. I just love them. They make life easier when you’re just kind of sick of whatever you have in your house. Or the same thing you’ve been making all week. It just changes it up a bit. Makes it a little bit more fun, and more sexy. Because you have this nice, pretty meal. So I just love them. They’ve been great. And they give you a discount, which is cool. So can’t complain about that.

I have a shower to get to, because it’s been 6 days of not washing my hair. I’ve got to go to a surprise b-day party tonight. But thank you guys so much for listening. You’re the best. You’re the only reason I keep doing this podcast. Because sometimes, I’m like, “Why am I doing this? I feel like I’m talking to myself. And I don’t always know who to interview, or who I want to talk to. So sometimes I feel like I’m just talking by myself, not knowing who is listening. So I really appreciate you tuning in every week and talking. Not talking, but listening to me. Hopefully laughing with me. Yeah. I hope so.

If you haven’t gotten to the blog this week, there is a new cooking video up. I have a new recipe for Super Bowl dip, so if you’re watching the Super Bowl. That’s this Sunday. And you need a dip that’s dairy free dill pickle dip, it’s f*cking awesome. So delicious. You could always add more stuff to it if you want. I also shared a recipe for 15-minute honey sriracha shrimp rice bowls. Only takes 15 minutes, which is f*cking awesome, and it’s a delicious meal.

And then I did a whole post about hair products that I’m loving right now. How I’m keeping my hair from getting extra greasy, what I’m doing. I got to take these photos in this beautiful house; which I wish was mine. But is not. But I got to take photos in this awesome house, in this bathroom, which was really cool. And then I did an Instagram roundup of all my outfits I’ve been sharing recently on Instagram. So if you missed any of those, since Instagram kind of holds back at what you’re able to see anymore nowadays, I did a recap of everything on the blog. So make sure you check out that.

And then tomorrow, when you’re listening to this. So Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday, I will be sharing a new post. Which is a guest post with my friend Jess. And she’s amazing, so I’m pumped to share that with you guys. So check out the blog. Go see everything I have going on.

Don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe. Only say nice things in reviews. There’s enough angry people in this world that are just spreading their hate, and we get to see it everyday on the news. So let’s keep the positivity here. I guess I should be one to talk, because I’m a Negative Nancy, hating going out in public. But be nice. Be kind to people. Because that’s just the best thing to do.

Thank you for listening. Hopefully my PMS comes down a bit. And we’re good to go. I’ll talk to you later. It’s been lovely. Bye-bye for now.