I don’t want to say it, but I’m going to. I have officially made the best paleo brownies I’ve ever tasted. I know that’s bold, I know that’s conceited, I know I know, but it’s just the truth so…sorryfornotbeingsorry. I made these the other night out of desperation. This is how it always happens. I stay at home on a Saturday night, watching The Notebook, thinking about how love isn’t real and no man is ever going to love me like that, then I get bored, then I start wandering around the kitchen, then random ingredients start piling out onto the counter, then I somehow mix these ingredients together, bake them, and a new recipe is suddenly created. If I had planned this out, been emotionally stable, and actually thought more about the ingredients I was incorporating into my dessert, it would have turned out like crap. You can thank my emotional sh*tshow last week for rewarding you with this delicious recipe. You’re welcome.
So the whole reason I was even able to make these amazing little treats is pretty cool. I walked into the house on Saturday, welcomed by 2 packages. Not two dudes, sadly. But FedEx style boxes. Omg was I stoked. You know exactly what I’m talking about…when a package comes to your door and even though you know what it is, you’re still smiling like a school child. Ugh, children. That’s how I felt though. Pissing myself with joy. BUT I had no idea what the packages were. So here is what went down.
- I opened the first package and BOOM…The New Primal sent me some delicious Pocket Paleos!!!! WICCCCKED. I opened one of the packages right on the spot with pineapple in it and dug in. Really good. Nuts, jerky, and dried fruit. How the hell could you go wrong?! Check them out. Love love loved the packs.
- Then I opened the other box. I was kind of in shock when I saw what was in the box. Six bags, six, of Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips. Like, are you kidding me?
Holy crap, that was a lot of links. I hate that. My b. It had to be done though, it had to be done.
So now I have 6 bags of chocolate and have to figure out what to do with all of them. Jesus my life is full of intense decisions. I live the hard life. Filled with gluten free, dairy free, soy free chocolate. I think that means it’s just pure sugar. But I’m very ok with that. Even more ok with that than I can explain. And once you try these brownies, you will be too.
Here is the warning, if you don’t like dried figs…you’re stupid. Straight up. I’m sorry, but figs are orgasms in your mouth. BUT, just to make sure everyone is satisfied in this relationship of ours, know that you can always substitute the figs for dates. I can’t promise you it’ll taste the same, but whatever. I don’t even care. I warned you.
Fudgy Brownies
- Yield: 6+ 1x
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cup dried figs (any stems removed)
- 1/3 cup coconut oil, melted
- 6 tablespoons coconut flour
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips, melted
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Pull out your handy dandy food processor and add your figs to it. Puree until your figs have broken down evenly.
- Add your melted coconut oil to the processor to mix with the figs.
- Next add your melted chocolate chips and eggs and mix.
- Now add your coconut flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt and mix together.
- So I made these in silicone muffin liners in my muffin tin, filling them up halfway and they cooked perfectly. I’m not sure what they would be like if you baked them in a normal 8×8 baking dish.
- Fill 12 liners with the THICK brownie batter. Yes, it should be that thick. That’s why my brownies look like sh*t in the picture. Totally the brownies fault.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes.
- Let cool before consuming. Seriously. They honestly taste even better the second day around!
Notes
This made 12 muffins or fudgy brownie bites-if you must
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Love your recipes, but the fact you hate children bothers me. Not all of them burn down houses or pour nail polish on rugs. Some of them, like mine, actually like to help me bake and are fun to be around. You sound so sad and alone. I feel sorry for you and hope someday you find happiness.
I’m sorry that bothers you Jane, I’m sure your kids are great 🙂
Ouch, Jane! Maybe I’m reading more snarkiness into your comment than what was intended . . .
I seriously doubt she HATES kids – just has no desire to have any of her own at this point in her life, and that’s perfectly fine.
And I can understand her humorous stories about herself – watching chick-flicks and wondering when love will find her . . . . . . what girl hasn’t done that!?! I don’t think that makes her sound sad and lonely – that might be a bit harsh. Sure, she might be longing for that connection in her life, but she’s not devoid of love, belonging and fulfillment.
Juli – I too, hope you get your Notebook love story (sigh!!), and IF kids happen to enter the picture down the road I have no doubt you’ll be a great mom and will enjoy your kids immensely! 🙂
These are absolutely fantastic!! I think I may have added too many figs because when I tasted the batter, it wasn’t very chocolate-y. I added more melted chips (maybe about 3/4c. total) and they came out AWESOME! I may or may not be eating them for dinner… shhh!
Congrats on a great performance at Regionals! I was there on Friday cheering for my coach Nicole Christensen from Roots. I saw you and was like, “Oh my god, that’s Juli Bauer! She’s right there. Holy crap! She’s such a badass!” I was really inspired by everyone there and thought you and Nicole were amazing.
Lastly, you don’t sound sad and alone. You’re awesome, and I want to be more like you.
Yaaaay!! I made these with dates and added a scoop of dutch cocoa cuz the batter tasted a little sweet. They were perfect!! My co-workers loved them, my fiance (pickiest man alive) said they were good, and my Piyo instructor loved them too!! Unfortunately after sharing, I’m all out. I am going to have to make another batch and hoard them for myself. o.0
These were awesome! I made them in a brownie pan and they were so cakey and delicious! Next time I’ll double the recipe so that they are thicker!
I love this recipe! Tried it for the first time today and enjoyed my brownies! Thank you! I will be baking another round later tonight.
Dude. These are so delicious its sexual! Totally converted into a follower of paleomg. Thanks!
DO you know if I can sub 100% cocoa for the chips? How would you sweeten that? I want to make these this weekend!!
Thanks 🙂
I’m sure you could but you would have to add some honey for a little sweetness.
Do the figs need to be dried? I have not been able to find dried figs!! What to do, what to do?!
I’m sure you could order some online!!
Hey.. Looks yummy. However how can you argue that they are paleo, when you use baking soda and baking powder which is straight up non-paleo..? Just querious 🙂
I still use that sort of stuff in my paleo cooking. Kind of how other paleo bloggers still use dairy. Just how I like to do things.
It’s so in the oven!! 😀 Omg can’t wait. It’s for my sons kindergarten. All parents of children who pass on to school after summer have to bake a body part of cake to put together 😛 I’m baking an arm! lol! So the cake man will have an paleo-arm 😛 It looks and feels SO good. It’s done in 2 minutes 😛