Guest Post: Breaking Up With Broke
Something that’s not really talked about much on this blog is MONEY! Money is a weird subject. I was just talking to my new therapist yesterday, sharing some stories from my past, and talking about how money has always been a weird topic growing up. I was always taught to never talk about it, never ask questions about it, and never be proud when you make some of it. So I’ve always kept that information close to my chest and almost felt embarrassed about it…until I met Bri. I met Brianna at my CrossFit gym probably 5 or more years ago and the more I talk to Bri, the more I am inspired by her. She’s a woman that gets sh*t done and she doesn’t let anything stand in her way. And the best part? She openly shares that knowledge and experience with other people. She actually TEACHES people how to break away from the money stigma and create the life they have always dreamed of. Bri started her business The School of Betty a few years ago, teaching people how to get control of their finances, and in turn get control of their lives. If you haven’t read her previous guest blog posts here on PaleOMG – 5 Actions to a Badass Life and Create a Badass Relationship with Money – I highly recommend glancing through those, as well! You’re going to absolutely love Brianna and her writing style, and you’re going to love how she changing the world, one dollar bill at a time!
Post Written by Brianna of The School of Betty
Friend: “I’m so excited about the bridesmaids dresses I picked for you all. They were also on sale for $300 each!”
You: “Oh, I’m so excited!”
Internally, you’re silently dying. You’re thinking: HOLY eff friend, that is NOT cheap. And then, knowing your friend, you’re pretty sure you might look like you a banana but your love is strong.
Your internal monologue to this scenario is saying, “Whaaaat? I can’t afford that! I’M BROKE!!”
Raise your hand if you’ve ever uttered those words (…I’m raising my hand!)?
I get it friend! This phrase is very common, which is why we’re gonna talk about it because…it’s having an impact on your life friend. So, we’re breakin’ up with broke today.
First, hi friends! I am Bri, a money & life coach and the founder of The School of Betty. I teach womxn how to kick money stress to the curb, pay off debt and build a badass life they love. Let’s get pro-fesh for a hot minute: I’m a Certified Life Coach and Financial Education Instructor. I’m a financial contributor for MindBodyGreen, and my expert money advice has been featured in Real Simple, The Financial Diet, MSN Money, Yahoo! Finance, Reader’s Digest, Business Insider, and 5280. Now that we got that out of the way – I’m so happy to be back here on PaleOMG
(Catch my first post about 3 money myths that are impacting your finances) to kick off this new decade with you.
For those that don’t know me, let’s recap real quick (because it involves my money bloopers). My story with money started when I racked up $30k in credit card debt with $20k in student loans, at the lovely age of 23. I shopped til’ I dropped ya’ll and I had no idea how to manage my money. And it didn’t feel good. I was embarrassed, ashamed and really hard on myself for not knowing how to manage my moolah (can you relate?). The good news, I turned that sad money train around, paid off my debt and redefined my money game. Now, I spend my days helping other womxn experience that transformation! Why womxn? Gentlemen, I love ya, but us ladies live about 7 years longer. We make less than men (about 19.7% less to be exact). And on average can be out of the workforce for 11 years taking care of family (compared to 19 months for men). So, when it comes to womxn and our money, we gotta play this game a bit differently!
Let’s talk about being broke. By definition, broke means: having completely run out of money. Key words being “COMPLETELY RUN OUT”. The reality is that everyone reading this article right now most likely has a lot of privilege in their life (hi technology things, interwebs etc.). To put this into perspective, almost half the world’s population (3.4 billion people) live on less than $5.50 a day. So…a venti latte. I’m not knockin’ the coffee (those that know me are aware of my coffee addiction). But I do want to point out that most of us aren’t broke, we just think we are (OH…someone’s gonna come at me!…Stay with me.) Broke is not the same as having some cash flow issues. Let’s keep going…
It’s not your fault friend, it’s easy to say you’re broke. It’s a phrase many of us have heard since we were wee little ones. Most of us grow up learning that money is stressful and hard. We also learn a separation between love, acceptance…and having money. We can have relationships and love, or money…never both. Is that connecting? Think about movies with characters from a small that become successful and wealthy. How are these characters portrayed (especially the womxn)? They’re single, wealthy and no longer fit in with their hometown community. Right? Some movies with Reese Witherspoon and Sandra Bullock are coming to mind. In our subconscious, we learn that we have to choose love and acceptance over money (newsflash…it’s false). And guess what? Those underlying thoughts influence your money actions.
To simplify; broke is a mindset. One of the first lessons I teach my students is: managing our money starts first in your brain. Managing our money has very little to do with the physical money. It has everything (at first) to do with how we think and feel about it. Which is why the phrase, “I’m broke” is having an impact on that cheddar.
So how do you know if you are operating with a broke mindset? Here are 4 indicators that you might be operating in broke mode.
1. You and your friends spend a lot of time talking about how broke you are or how you can’t afford things. The company you keep can have a huge impact on your ability to create new habits and stick to them. Do your friends support the changes you are hoping to make? I’m not saying cut your friends out of your life. I’m saying, surround yourself with people that support the changes you are trying to make. Your squad is either helping you get to your goals, or making it harder. If your friends don’t have a positivity mindset around their money, why not invite them to join you?
2. Your self-talk is broke as a joke. Listen up sweet soul, our brains are powerful and also…gullible. Meaning: your brain will believe what you tell it. TRUTH. It’s science called Neuroplasticity. It means our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains. HOLY OVARIES! What you tell yourself matters (in any area of your life) friend. What are you telling yourself? Are you thinking of the wonderful things you have in your life? Or are you noticing everything you are missing? We will always find what we are looking for, so choose wisely! When you talk about money, pause and ask yourself if it was from an abundance point of view or a lack point of view. That small action alone can create a shift for you.
3. You have money, yet you feel like you don’t. Now I’m not talking about ignoring your money and believing you have it when in reality you’ve been livin’ the yolo life. I’m talking about when you actually have money and are making smart money moves yet, you still feel like you don’t have enough money. In short, you behave as if you are broke, but in reality, you are dong pretty good. Your mindset around money won’t instantly change when you get more money. Your brain has heard over and over that you are broke. And it will continue believing that until you tell it something different. And then, at some point, you have to start to trust.
4. You exhaust yourself looking for the “deal” and never buy anything full priced. Have you ever responded to a compliment with how much it cost? I can relate to this. What this says is: “Don’t judge me, I got it on sale so that makes it okay”. See that layer? This goes back to us learning to choose money or love and acceptance. Listen, I’m not telling you to not snag a deal. It becomes a problem when you actually refuse to buy the “thing” that you have money for because it isn’t on sale. Or, you buy it and feel so guilty you can’t even enjoy it. Money is a tool that helps us live a great life. It doesn’t matter if what you bought was on sale. And it also doesn’t matter if someone else might deem it frivolous. As long as we are being mindful of our financial health, you go and enjoy your purchases – whatever they might be.
Okay, so now we have an idea if you might be operating in a broke mindset. Now, how do you actually start to shift your mindset around your money?
First, you have to decide to shift your mindset! And then, you gotta practice it. Remember, our brain will begin to believe what we tell it, so let’s start talkin’ to it yeah?
I’ve put together 20 positive money mantras for you and included some simple ways to integrate them into your daily life. These actions, will have a profound impact on your money game friend and I can’t wait for you to experience it.
Livin’ & Lovin’
P.S. If you have any specific money questions, I’d love to hear from you. Email me!
Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.
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