Homemade Sweetened Pistachio Milk

Ok, I’ll admit it. I buy store brand almond milk a lot of the time. I can’t help it, I get lazy and it’s right there and my boyfriend drinks a balls ton of it with his post workout drinks, so I buy it on a regular basis. I know, I suck. Especially since homemade almond milk is pretty much 10 billion times better tasting than store bought. I didn’t really understand this until I tried homemade almond milk at Blooming Beets, a strictly paleo restaurant, and my life was changed. I couldn’t believe how good it was. If you are in Colorado, you have to check this place out in Boulder. Back to the point: homemade is way better and I’m a fraud for not making it all the time. But almond milk is so cliche. I had to do something outside of the box. And I didn’t have almonds. Boom. Pistachio milk.

Well crap. I just found out that I have bronchitis. Never had that before! This morning, I coughed so hard that I thought I may pass out on the bathroom floor. After that happened, I decided that heading to the doc was probably the best idea. No need for crystals or herbs or oils, I need some effing real sh*t. I need drugs that will make me not have bronchitis. Because I have a cookbook to write!

Did anyone else watch The Bachelor the other night? No? Because you have better things to do with your life? Well, I don’t. I have bronchitis (yes, I will be using that excuse for absolutely everything from now on). So I spent the 7 hours, or whatever it was, watching the premiere on Monday night and it was reaaaaal good. Mostly because I find this guy attractive this year. I haven’t found the last 27 bachelors attractive, but this one is adorable. Midwest AND really white teeth? Sold. Did you like the red carpet look? All reality stars are now going to demand a red carpet wherever they go. Nice job, Bachelor, nice job. But my favorite part was when one of the old bachelor contestants who is marrying some other contestant (how the f*ck am I suppose to keep this all straight) mentioned that her fiancé and her were 80/40 on the wedding plans. 80/40…does that make sense to you? She’s my favorite. I’m gonna watch the sh*t out of that show this year. Which means I will never be home Monday nights because my boyfriend would end our relationship pretty quickly if that behavior was reoccurring.

Ok, so it’s taken me about 2 days to write this simple post because my brain isn’t functioning. I just took my dog out in the snow wearing shorts and furry boots. I’m THAT girl. Once I sleep 25 more hours, I should be back to normal. With more food for you guys. Probably no Fashion Fridays because I’m a straight up mess, but I’ll bake something for you. Baking is just the best!


Homemade Sweetened Pistachio Milk

  • Yield: 1 cup 1x


  • 1 cup unsalted and shelled pistachios
  • 3 cups water
  • 6 pitted medjool dates
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 10 drops of stevia (optional)


  1. Place pistachios, water and dates in a closed container to soak overnight.
  2. Strain nuts and dates from water and place in a blendtec and discard old water. Add 3 cups of fresh, cold water to the blender along with vanilla and stevia.
  3. Blend for 1-2 minutes at highest speed, until smooth.
  4. Place a nut milk bag OR two layers of cheesecloth in a large bowl then slowly pour the milk into the bag.
  5. Close and gently squeeze bag until all liquid has come out. Place milk in a closed container and in fridge.


Feel free to use the pulp for a nut meal for cookies or baking!

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.


28 thoughts on “Homemade Sweetened Pistachio Milk”

  1. I actually watched The Bachelor for the first time ever, because my friend is on it. Those girls are crazy. And yes! I saw the 80/40 comment too and am glad I’m not the only one! How embarrassing! Lol

  2. Hi Juli,
    Can you tell me where you buy your nuts? I keep buyI got the little bags from Trader Joes and want to start buying them in bulk somewhere. Any ideas?

    Feel better soon 🙂

  3. I’m guilty lately of drinking the silk almond and cashew milk lately, but this looks so much better!

    My husband has been a Bachelor addict for years, since the beginning, so I wind up watching it with him even though I can barely stomach it anymore. I actually don’t like this guy at all! Maybe I’m just sick to death of the show. And seriously, the premiere does go on for 8 hours, it’s crazy, I can’t believe they’re given so much time to fill. The girls are also acting/behaving younger and dumber than I remember, although that’s probably just me getting old plus editing.

  4. Ok – I swear I am not lame. But the 80/40 is a running joke with her! She was on Bachelor in Paradise (were she met her now fiance) and in an interview she said that for the first time and she was basically the laughing stock of the show. So, now I think she says it because it was so funny the first time. The funniest thing though, when she first said it someone was trying to explain to her why everyone was laughing at her and she didn’t get it….. poor thing.

  5. My Dad asked me the other night (premiere night) if The Bachelor was ‘one of my shows’. He’s temporarily living with us and hates most of ‘my shows’. I responded with ‘Hell no! That’s the dumbest show I’ve ever partially seen! I can’t stand when my fb friends post their weekly Bachelor anticipation status updates like “EEK, omg Juan Pablo Escobar is so dreamy I totes hope Jasmine gets a rose and Trish gets sent home…she’s so ew! Cuddled up with wine and my future hubs, EEK!!”…I have close friends who love the show…I tell them I’m embarrassed for them 😉 Cool milk recipe!

  6. Hope you feel better! Thanks for posting, even though you’re sick. 🙂

    I’m interested to try this one since it is one nut my husband is NOT allergic to!

    Thanks, again!

  7. Okay, I guess my mind is in the gutter because saying your boyfriend drinks a ‘ball’s ton’ of nut milk just really grossed me out.

  8. Could I use same process for almond milk?? I am doing Whole30, so I would omit vanilla and I could prob use the dates….

  9. Haha… yeah, I totally watched the Bachelor too and thought the same thing about midwestern hottie and his teeth! My pet peeve about the show is most of the girls are pursuing modeling/acting/wannabe famous in addition to their other jobs. No one on the show ever says “Hi, I’m Sarah, in my spare time I enjoy playing soccer, running 5K’s and reading books”.

  10. Juli I love the unsweetened coconut/almond milk mix at sprouts and not ashamed about it. Have not made my own almond milk yet. Found your blog last year and love it! Keep up the good work and Happy New Year!

  11. I just found your blog last night and you are Hilarious!! LOVE your recipes as I am new to Paleo..but in the 2 mos. I have been practicing it have felt 100 times better!! Just keep us laughing..look forward to your book..

  12. Sounds so good! I’m going to try. I did almost go to sleep while reading through the celebrity stuff though-yaawn lol. I’m not a TV or movie person. Give me a book to read anytime though. But anyway thanks for sharing this and I hope your better now 🙂

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