Today on the podcast I’m sharing all the feelings, talking about why men should cut their hair (often), and the features I’m scared to pass on to my own child someday.

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5 Comments

  1. Emily HL says:

    Do you plan on sharing the recipe cannelloni bean “sauce” you takes about? Sounds amazing!

    1. juli says:

      yes, i definitely plan to!

  2. Bethany says:

    Hi Juli – it breaks my heart to hear how your skin is causing you to not want to go out. I know exactly how you feel, I really do. But it WILL get better. Here’s why – I’m 10 years older than you, and something happens when you turn 40. No, your skin doesn’t magically get clear (don’t I wish!), but you suddenly just become…comfortable with yourself. At peace with yourself. Who you are, how you look, how others see you.

    I know, at age 32(??), you’re like, GREAT, that’s a long time from now. Yes, it is. It will not change how you feel about your skin today, or tomorrow. But just know – the pain you feel today will NOT last the rest of your life, even if your acne does. I am 42 and have been dealing with cystic acne since I was 12. That’s 30 frickin’ years! It SUCKS to have bad skin when other people just naturally have great skin. I spent the little money I earned babysitting as a teen to buy all sorts of cleansers and things to help my skin. I used Retin-A and took antibiotics. Nothing helped. I hated myself. I didn’t wear a bathing suit for about 10 years (from approximately age 17 to 27) because I had horrible cystic acne on my back that left deep scars and discoloration. I was embarrassed to have anyone see me like that. Even in my wedding photos (at age 22), I can see the horrible red acne all over my back, through my wedding veil. Like you, I have taken care of my skin, eaten healthy foods, and done everything I can to NOT have acne. It isn’t fair! I was just born with horrible skin – just like the people you see that have flawless skin. They were just born that way! You can do everything right and still not have clear skin. I’m not saying this to depress you – I’m saying it to FREE you! You are doing everything you can, Juli. But you may just be genetically disposed to having bad skin. It’s not your fault, and you were born like this, so continue to do all the great things you do for your skin and your health. You are doing your part – the results just may be out of your control.

    I could hear the pain in your voice, and I’ve had that pain myself. I totally related when you said that people with clear skin just can’t understand how painful it is to have cystic acne (both physically and emotionally). They can’t! But just as you were born with bad skin, you were also born with your amazing abs and cut midsection. Others with clear skin but puffy midsections (no matter how much they exercise or watch their diet) look at you and think THAT’s not fair! In addition to my crappy skin, I’m also genetically disposed to storing weight in my midsection. I always look like I have a beer belly. So does my Dad and my Grandmother. I wish I had abs to show off, but I’m just not built that way. I turned 40 and suddenly, I was just KINDER to myself. I realized how much of my appearance was out of my control. I started to give myself credit for all the exercise I do and the healthy food I eat. I realized that no matter how much I tried, I was never going to have clear skin or a flat tummy. Boy…..what a revelation that was! Instead, I started to focus on the things I could improve upon, like having toned arms. I have control over that! I turned 40 and basically just stopped giving a shit about my crappy skin and my beer belly (and my stretch marks, and my cellulite). I do the best I can for myself, and accept that the rest is largely out of my control. And you know what? My husband of 19 years thinks I’m beautiful – just like Brian thinks you are beautiful. You will not feel this way forever, even if your skin doesn’t change. I am so much more comfortable in my skin since I turned 40. I have social anxiety….and that’s okay! I have crappy skin…and that’s okay! It’s part of me, and I LIKE me now – with ALL of my imperfections. I love that I have freckles, and toned calves. I love that my anxiety has also made me a more sensitive and compassionate person. I love that my depression has made me appreciate the good days even more. You have so many amazing qualities that far outshine your skin. Embrace the things you love about yourself, and give yourself credit for all the hard work you are putting in. And please, just know – it WILL get better. You are smart, funny, an incredible businesswoman, fit as FUCK, a wife, a dear friend, a beloved daughter, and so much more. SO much more! I wish I knew at 32 (and 22, and 12) how much better I would feel at 42. And I know that you will feel that way, too. I mean, the fact that I just wrote this novella to a person I’ve never met is a testament to how awesome you are. You inspire so many people! And you are so much more than your skin…you are JULI BAUER ROTH, KICKING ASS AT LIFE AND LOOKING GOOD AS HELL DOING IT!

    1. Katie says:

      I love this comment so much. As a fellow lifelong acne sufferer, these words are so uplifting and important, and not hollow! Thank you for taking the time to type this all out. I’ve personally noticed that the less I lean into the mirror to inspect all my skin imperfections, the less likely I am to pick and get disappointed…and the less touching overall, the better my skin will look. That’s my own personal goal for the moment; just pull back and focus on other things in the mirror. Like your husband and SIL said, other people don’t really notice as much as you do yourself.
      I appreciate you, Juli, for being so open and vulnerable about one of the shittiest things ever…adult acne.

  3. Liz says:

    I totally get the skin thing. I have had psoriasis for basically 30 years. It flares up from time to time and I have no idea why. Recently, I have scalp psoriasis which is super annoying because it just looks like I have horrible dandruff and haven’t showered in a week (mainly from the medicine I have to put on it). At the same time I have had a rosacea flare (which also causes acne, on the bright side I have to wear a mask so that helps:D). I’m like seriously? The same thing actually happened to me in college but wasn’t as bad. I also have been having other health issues and the Dr’s can’t figure out what is wrong with me, this has been going on since last November, I think I have had every test and scan known to man, so I totally get what your husband is going through as well. I have days where I eat totally healthy and am like this is going to fix it and then days were I am like F this and just eat crap. (Hello gluten pizza! Big mistake. Huge!) When I do that I end up feeling worse (but enjoyed it at the time) and then just get back on the healthy wagon and carry on till I feel like falling of the healthy wagon again. It is annoying and even though it could be worse that doesn’t negate the annoyingness of what is going on.