{ NEW COOKING VIDEO! }
Did you watch my cooking video?? I sure hope so. But that’s honestly what important today. Because The Bachelor has started and now I care about nothing else in life. I didn’t have a breakdown of last weeks episode last week because I was staying away from technology in Cabo…except when get wasted and recording instagram stories like a real dumb d*ck. Luckily, I’m caught up. Ok, not exactly. I’ve watched the first episode but I won’t be watching the second episode until tonight when my sister-in-law comes over. We can’t watch without each other. It just doesn’t feel right. So today, let’s talk about the premier episode because HOT DAMN, it was good.
First off, I could give a rats ass that it’s Arie. I didn’t even know who Arie was because I couldn’t stand Emily’s voice back in the day and never watched her season. So Arie is a boring mystery to me. Especially because he seems incredibly bored already. He started the show off saying this is going to be the most important race of his life…what does that even mean, Arie? Fire your producer, he’s feeding you terrible lines. After watching Arie dance in roses and try to pose like a model but not know how to tuck his chin in a sexy way, we meet some of the women. Let’s just run through them and waste our Tuesday away. Actually, I’m going to only run through the ones that interested me enough to stop me from snacking during the 2 hours of the show. Snacks and Bachelor go hand in hand…right? Like movies and popcorn.
- Amber – Amber owns a spray tan business in Denver which is the only reason she excited me. She looked familiar and I worked my ass off trying to figure out why. Actually, I did nothing to try to figure it out. But SPOILER ALERT, she gets kicked off and the poor girl is so exhausted from staying up until 5 in the morning and being fed cocktails, that she breaks down and cries that her family is going to be so disappointed. Her mom told her this was her moment. Uncool mom, uncool.
- Ali – Ali has the longest forehead I’ve ever seen which makes me love her more because I’m part of the five head club, too. I get her.
- BeKAH – Whenever you say Bekah’s name, you must say it how Jesse does in Pitch Perfect. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, acaxcuse me – go away. Anywho, I don’t trust Bekah as far as I can throw her, which is actually pretty far, she’s a tiny human. But she’s definitely one who likes to stir up trouble. And she can’t hide behind that pixie hair cut and chin-tucking grin. Arie LOVES it, but I just can’t forgive her for that name spelling. I can’t do it. But sadly, I think she will go far.
- Bibiana – She was dressed for prom. And she said Papi at one point. Whenever someone says Papi or Daddy is any sexual nature, I first throw up in my mouth, and then decide that getting to know that person is not worth it. I don’t want to throw up in my mouth again.
- Brittane – Has great eyebrows.
- Caroline – Best boobs of the night. She reminded me of Vanessa from Nick’s season and I thought she looked absolutely stunning. BUT her intro video was her showing a home to a couple with a baby and she’s wearing a cutout dress. Believe me, I loooooove me a cutout dress, but not when I’m trying to fake sell a house to a fake couple on tv. Nope. Poor choice. I think she’ll go far, though. Who doesn’t love a real estate power couple? Oh, in case you didn’t know, Arie’s in real estate. I’m bored, let’s move on.
- Chelsea – This chick is a whack job. Number one, too much filler. She has trouble smiling so she keeps telling Arie she’s staying a mystery. But what she’s really saying is that she’s waiting until her filler settles in by episode 5 to show emotion…once she physically can. I’ve never had fillers and now I wonder what it’s like to kiss lips with too much filler. Is it like kissing a water weiner? Do you know what I’m talking about? Those things were fun. So maybe kissing her would be fun! Anywho, she had some long intro about being a single mom and she made the worst looking sandwich I’ve ever seen. Too much filler and sh*tty peanut butter & jelly sandwiches? No thank you. Get out, Arie, GET OUT! PS – Chelsea also called herself Mama. I know this is going to piss off MANY people but I cannot stand when someone calls themselves Mama. Nope. Gross. Just as bad as Daddy and Papi. Cut it out.
- Jenna – Jenna is MY FAVORITE! She’s absolutely on some sort of drug. It could be cocaine, it might just be adderall, or maybe she’s just one of those excessively hyper people when she drinks. Either way, she’s ADHD and ready to spread her many thoughts into the world. Kind of like me! She washed Arie’s feet and rubbed them and it made me sick to my stomach. I hate feet. They’re gross. He also said he’s never had anyone touch his feet. What a liar. No calluses on those feet. Did you give yourself a pedicure, Arie?! Did you!?!
- Kendall – The producers obviously needed some sort of goofy person so they talked her into it. She goes on and on about how she loves taxidermy then she plays the ukulele to a stuffed seal. It’s all quite offensive. It wasn’t even a good taxidermy job on the seal. But she comes off as completely normal later on in the episode. You’re annoying, producers. Be more creative.
- Krystal – She is by far the craziest of all. If I’ve learned anything through my 30 years on earth, it’s to never trust a person who smiles constantly. And not only does Krystal smile until your own face hurts, she talks like a baby child. And leaves an A on the end of each word. “Iaaaaaa love beingaaaaa nice personaaaaa becauseaaaa I love itaaaaa.” It’s exhausting. When someone smiles and talks like that at all times, you know she will break at some point and murder you in your sleep. And the previews showed her cracking which I CANNOT WAIT to watch. Be real, Krystal. Scream into a pillow and join a boxing class. But she will make it far. Arie said her voice is soothing. What a creep.
- Marikh – Speaking of boxing, Marikh boxed like an assh*le for her promo video. I don’t care if you can’t box, but don’t act like it on national television. But I am definitely very jealous of the restaurant she said she owns because her mom looks like she whips up a mean Indian curry.
- Maquel – She drove in in some race car then took her helmet off like she was in a slow-mo commercial for Carls Jr. with Jessica Simpson circa 2005. She has some great platinum blonde hair, though. Hats off to her hairstylist. She also had a great dress. I have nothing else to say about her but I hope she stays around and pisses people off.
- Nysha – Said she loves seeing people come in with gun shot wounds and lots of blood. She’s a nurse. Who doesn’t love a good gun shot wound, am I right?! Nysha needs to find a new area to part her hair. She’s Donald Trumping – pre-President days.
- Tia – Is stunning and the new Raven. Which makes sense since she’s friends with Raven. Raven said that Tia is super “lackable” so she should make it far. Thanks, Raven. Your part in this episode was completely unneeded. I hope Tia makes it far because she has a super thick accent and is more fun to listen to than all the other girls.
- Valerie – She decided to dye her hair this crazy deep red color then she chose a piss yellow dress. Not even piss, more like mustard yellow dress. It was all quite harsh on the eyes. Luckily she will live another episode to hopefully tone down her colors.
I’m not sure if this season is going to be very interesting since Arie is as exciting as a sack of potatoes, but I’m PUMPED to watch. Now can Tuesday go by faster so I can watch last nights episode?!!?
Instant Pot Barbacoa Tacos
- Prep Time: 20 minutes
- Cook Time: 2 hours
- Total Time: 2 hours 20 minutes
- Yield: 6-8 1x
Ingredients
For the first round of cooking:
- 2 tablespoons ghee
- 2 lbs grass fed beef rump roast or chuck roast, trimmed of extra fat
- 6–8 garlic cloves, peeled and sliced
- 3 bay leaves
- 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
- 1 cup bone broth
- 1 yellow onion, sliced
- 1 tablespoon cumin
- 2 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, roughly chopped
- 1 tablespoon adobo sauce (from the can of chipotle peppers)
- salt and pepper, to taste
For the second round of cooking:
- 1 (16 ounce) can of tomato sauce
- 8 ounce can green chiles
- 1 tablespoon chili powder
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
- salt and pepper, to taste
For the tacos:
- Siete Foods Coconut Cassava Tortillas
- Primal Kitchen Chipotle Lime Mayo
- minced white onion
- diced avocado
- lime wedges
- chopped cilantro
Instructions
- Place the basin in the 8 quart instant pot then press the sauté button. Add ghee then once hot, salt the outside of the roast then sear roast on all sides, about 5 minutes per side, until browned. Once seared, press the cancel button.
- To the instant pot, add the rest of the ingredients for the first round of cooking and mix to combined. Secure the lid of the instant pot, close off the pressure valve then press manual and press the up button until the time hits 90 minutes. Once time is up, quick release to let the pressure out then remove lid and press cancel.
- Remove the roast then use 2 forks to shred the roast into small pieces (you can also do this within the pot) then place the shredded beef back in the liquid. Add the rest of the ingredients for the second round of cooking, mix to combined then press the sauté button. Let mixture cook for 25-30 minutes with the lid off to reduce, until most of the liquid is cooked off.
- Place each tortilla over an open flame on the stovetop to soften. Top each taco shell with a small amount of the chipotle lime mayo, then a heaping amount of the barbacoa, white onion, avocado, cilantro, and fresh lime juice on top!
Notes
______________
You May Also Like:
Instant Pot Chicken Tinga Tacos
______________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!
Hi Julie,
still getting used to using the Insta Pot… I know you mentioned 90 minutes on manual, I dont have a manual button…. do I just cook it under meat/Stew for 90 minutes? Thank you in advance!
yes, that would work!
Love this recipe Julie! Soooo yummmy.
awesome, glad to hear it!
I’m kind of late to this game, since you posted this in 2018, but I made this on Superbowl Sunday 2020 and when I tasted the finish product I said “this is perhaps the best thing I’ve ever made.” And I love to cook. So thanks for the recipe.
so glad you liked it Kim!!!
This recipe was the tits!!
I planned poorly and made this on a weeknight which means I got impatient on the second round of cooking and didn’t fully cook it down and it was still AMAZING. For sure making these on a Sunday very soon so I can give this the time it deserves.
awesome!! so glad to hear you loved it!!