I think I finally have my life back together since I got back from Vegas on Monday. I’m finally not falling asleep in the middle of the day while sitting up. It’s amazing how lack of sleep will make you feel hungover because, honestly, I only had about 2 big drinks while in Vegas so I was never actually got super drunk or hungover. Which was awesome. I can’t help but be impressed with me keeping my sh*t together while not consuming alcohol. I don’t know how I did it. Vegas is so weird.
I went in to the weekend being pretty worried about not wanting to drink and having to be out with drunk people the whole time. But it wasn’t a big deal at all. Probably because I have really cool friends that aren’t d*cks when they drink (except my best friend Sergio, he threw a bucket of ice at my face and bruised my forehead, I hate him). So I felt good the whole time while I was there. We went to 2 pool parties and 2 clubs, seeing 4 awesome DJ’s, and that was QUITE enough. I think one day would have definitely been enough but I pushed through and only felt like semi dying during our flight home. I’m so happy I wasn’t hungover.
But here’s the thing, since I was pretty much sober the entire time, I noticed everything. Especially because my back started to seize up both nights from standing and dancing for so long. So I would have to lean up against something and not dance and would end up just watching people as the night went on. And I saw some awesome sh*t. And gross sh*t. Lots of gross going on in Vegas. Let’s go through my favorite Vegas memories:
- Women (and men) have absolutely no shame when it comes to what swimsuits and outfits they wear while in Vegas. Before I left for Vegas, I was trying to stay away from sugar in hopes of looking my best, but then you go to Vegas and you remember that people don’t give AF when it comes to that. Pretty much every female was in a thong bikini, while most of these women had zits on their ass. Hey, we all get zits in weird places, that’s totally normal. But to me, I would glance in the mirror and be like, “Oh sh*t, a zit where a zit should not be. I should probably get my sh*t together and wear a suit with more coverage.” But I guess that’s just me. At one point, I watched a girl dancing her ass off at the pool in her white thong bikini with a small piece of toilet paper stuck to her ass, obviously left behind from a bathroom break earlier. I can’t. I just can’t. People are obviously trying to look their hottest in a thong bikini with doodoo paper hanging out. It’s just too much to handle.
- I watched a man snort cocaine off another man’s neck right behind the collar of his shirt, in the middle of a super busy club. They were so nasty and it was so gross to watch. Definitely something I’ve never seen and I truly hope to never see it again.
- I came to understand that almost all men are absolutely assh*les while in Vegas. I don’t know if it’s because all they want to do is get some while there, but man, they sucked. I had multiple creepers creep in every way possible. After telling one I was married, he asked, “But is he here?” He then asked out 3 of my friends standing next to me and finally found one chick outside of our group who said yes and saw them leaving together. So gross. It sucks that being a gross weirdo actually works on some women so they keep the act up.
- I watched a couple hold each other for FOUR HOURS straight. If that’s true love, I don’t want it. If Brian tried to hold me for more than 2 minutes, I would freak out on him.
- On both nights in Vegas, we would think the headliner was going to come on at 1am…but then he wouldn’t come on until 2:30am, which really sucks balls if you’re sober and your back is seizing up. The second night at club XS was no different and I was getting pretty antsy. Luckily, the entire team of the Cavaliers showed up after they won their game and champagne showered the sh*t out of each other. Even though I care nothing about sports, I surprisingly know who LeBron is and it was nice to see the team so happy to help break up the time we were waiting for Alesso to come on. He didn’t come on until 3am. I made it through 2 sets then had to go back to the hotel to sleep for 3 hours before we hopped on a plane home. Most of our friends didn’t get home until 6am. I don’t know how they did it. F*ckin’ Vegas.
- Last but not least, WHY DO PEOPLE STILL SMOKE CIGARETTES?! Gross. Grow up. Use your brain to it’s full capacity and stop using something that’s going to kill you earlier. It’s just so insane to me how many people still smoke. My hair smelled like it every night and I hated it so much.
I know it may not totally sound like it based off my b*tchy tone throughout my post, but I seriously had SO much fun. I don’t know when I’ll actually be fully recovered enough to go back, but I definitely want to. But this time for only 1 day and 1 night. Keep it shorter and even cheaper.
Mango Ahi Tuna Poke Avocado Bowls
- Yield: 3-4 1x
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 pounds sushi grade ahi tuna, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
- 1 avocado, scooped out of shell, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
- 2 mangos (mine were small), cut into 1/2 inch cubes
- 1 seedless cucumber (I used an english cucumber), cut into 1/2 inch cubes
- 3 green onions, chopped
- 3 tablespoons coconut aminos
- 1 tablespoons rice wine vinegar (or coconut vinegar)
- 1 tablespoon sriracha (I use this brand or make your own)
- 1 teaspoon sesame oil
- 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
- 1 garlic clove, grated
- pinch of salt
- 1 tablespoon white sesame seeds
- 1 tablespoon black sesame seeds
Instructions
- Place all ingredients in a large bowl and mix until completely combine. Cover and place in the fridge to chill for 10-15 minutes.
- Fill avocado shells with ahi tuna poke then eat up!
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Where do you buy your tuna for poke bowls? I only seem to find it rarely at Whole Foods here in Denver, and can’t find it at my local grocery stores.
i go to tony’s market or marzyks!
THANK YOU! I was about to ask the exact same question because this looks YUMMMMMMY and I need it in my tummy!
I could just hug you right now…I have been craving a good poke recipe.
man, if you’re wearing a white bathing suit of any kind, you have to have your game face on. a white thong? that is fantastic. a white thong + toilet paper, well that’s a whole new level of awesomeness.
random: as for the cigarettes, I’m soooooooooo disgusted with that. where I live in montreal, Canada, it’s illegal to smoke inside anywhere or within a certain amount of feet from the door. BUT, they are in the process legalizing pot, and it’s like ALL I can smell on the street at like 5pm every Thursday and Friday on my way home. like the downtown business dudes in their fancy suits smoking a doobie. (is that even how you spell doobie??). I’m so sick of smelling it, it makes me sick.
This looks soooo good! I saw an episode of some show on the Food Network that had poke and I’ve been dying to try it!
This may be a stupid question, but where do you find sushi grade tuna? Whole foods? And like, is it something that it will say it’s sushi grade? Sorry if this is stupid but I’ve never even thought to look for sushi grade fish before. I tried googling to no avail.
i go to tony’s market or marzyks!
This looks amazing and I also would love to know your recommendations and tips to buying sushi grade tuna!
i go to tony’s market or marzyks!
Your Vegas recap had me cracking up.
And that Poke looks awesome!
after reading your smoking comment, i have to say that some people use nicotine therapy for disease management. i do and have been in remission for a few years now. my dad does as well. not all smokers are trying to kill themselves. some are trying to prolong their lives.
you have to smoke the nicotine to use it as therapy? that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. can you send along some information or articles about that? i’ve never heard of nicotine as a therapy, but if it is, i don’t see why you would have to smoke it and breathe in the toxins. and i think it’s safe to say that people in the las vegas casinos and clubs are not using it as therapy…
yes, some people need to smoke actual cigarettes in order to feel their best. it just depends on how their disease responds (Ulcerative Colitis). i am lucky that i can get away with lozenges and patches but my father has to smoke to be healthy. i just think it’s wrong to judge people based on their smoking habit when you don’t know them. people suffering from autoimmune diseases still go to casinos and clubs and have lives… don’t dismiss something just because you are not educated about it.
there is a lot of info/studies online but here is just a simple article.
https://www.trustedtherapies.com/articles/19-ulcerative-colitis-and-smoking
Joanna- my husband is in the same boat, unfortunately. Everytime he quits smoking, he has horrible UC flare-ups. He went to Vandy Center for Digestive Diseases so they could help medicate him through his most recent attempt to quit smoking. It’s been about six months and he is on Humora and Lialda, and his flares are worse than ever. Patches and gum do not help. Smoking cigarettes would. It is the craziest thing. So far he is staying the course with medication and not smoking, but he is miserable. I totally agree with Juli that 99% of people aren’t smoking for this reason, but I did want to chime in to say I understand exactly what you are talking about as well. Not a fun choice to have to make! (Juli, I love your blog and recipes and your Snaps! You’re awesome!)
This looks amazing! We caught a huge yellowfin tuna in Mexico and brought it back with us and our freezer is packed full. I’m wondering if I can still use frozen tuna for this? We froze it the same day we pulled it out of the ocean. Hmmm.. will have to figure that out. Super excited to try this!!!
Danielle, I wanted to reply that you DEFINITELY CAN use frozen tuna to make poke and sushi. All the grocery stores in Hawaii have poke bars and there will usually be a little sign that says “using previously frozen fish”. Also, a lot of high end sushi places actually freeze their sushi fish on purpose because they say it makes the fish taste better. So I would suggest googling the best way to defrost the fish and then just proceed from there as if it were fresh.
here’s a helpful article about it: http://www.thekitchn.com/when-and-why-is-raw-fish-safe-to-eat-225329
You know, a few days ago, my family and I made Poke bowls! I kept mine grain free and stuck with salad mix, seaweed, tuna, avocado, salmon, radish sprouts and sesame seeds! SO GOOD. Now I’m craving them again! And what an amazing avocado hack too!