I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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I didn’t read all the comments (I read enough to know people had both good and bad things to say about Accutane) but as someone who took it I wanted to chime in.
I was on a high dose of Accutane for almost 6 months in high school. I was MISERABLE – my lips dried out and flaked off, my skin was bright red and painful, my stomach rebelled – but it was totally worth it. I haven’t had more than an occasional PMS pimple since I finished my dosage more than 10 years ago. The side effects were no joke but not waking up in the morning in tears thinking about facing the world covered in acne made the pain worthwhile. I can’t tell you it will be a miracle for you, but I know how frustrated you are and how miserable it is to hate your skin.
There have been plenty of comments so far regarding the acne situation so, I shy away from any on that and instead let you know that your pumpkin pie bars were a smashing hit at Thanksgiving and I have gotten rave reviews over the Carmelized Onion & Sausage (can’t remember full name) stuffing as well as the Sweet Potatoe Au Gratin!!! You are such a blessing providing the entertainment that you do in addition to your amazing recipes… thank you SOOOO much!!! I continue to whip up recipe after recipe from you and never have any complaints! Anxiously awaiting the official cookbook girl and chin up… you’re a ROCK star… a real man worthy of a woman as amazing as you will never even notice the exterior packaging because the interior is shining way too bright as it is! xoxo =)
First off, you are stunning. You are strong and lovely and fabulous (at least on the internet).
I did accutane in college. It is great. The side affects, as with many drugs, are not necessarily present in each user. My derm said in his experience, he had 1 person battle depression while using accutane. I had very dry mouth but the plus side was that I didn’t have to wash my hair much. 14 years later, I still get a few blemishes but nothing like what i had then.
Either way, you gotta do you. This is just my experience. Good luck!
I know how difficult it can be to deal with acne…especially when you’ve poked & prodded your diet, work out and everything else in hopes of fixing the issue. I was on Accutane and if I had to do it again…I would. I had cystic acne, basically I got 2-3 cysts a month on my face (mainly my nose) that were approximately the size of a blueberry and hurt like you wouldn’t believe. It got so bad that even a strong wind made me cringe because the contact of WIND hurt…frickin WIND! For me, the only thing that worked was the Accutane. I started with a 5 month goal…it ended up taking about 9-10 months. It sucked, I won’t lie…sucked hard. The first month I shed, yes like a snake. Accutane closes off your pores and dries you out like a drunk in rehab. Then (oh, this was fun) because the dose was such a strong antibiotic, I got yeast infections. That was awesome. I also had monthly blood work to prove (1) I wasn’t pregnant [you cannot become pregnant while on Accutane] and (2) all my organs were still working. I was extra moody and generally very pissy but my skin cleared up. I have, not to toot my own horn, beautiful skin now. Washing my face is exciting (still 3 years later, I love it). It’s smooth, it’s clean and fresh and glows. I’m happy and I would do it again. It’s not for everyone and I don’t think anyone under 21 should be taking it. It’s a lot of responsibility and self monitoring. If your doctor is recommending it and you feel comfortable with him/her…do it.
Good luck, Juli. Too bad those killer abs can’t kick your acne!
Hey Juli, I feel for you and the acne issues. My skin improved when I started eating paleo, but I still broke out on my chin and along my jaw line really badly. I have had amazing success using Paula’s Choice, especially the beta hydroxy acid 2% gel and BHA 9 treatment. It’s not the answer for everybody since acne has so many different causes, but the “All About Acne” article on the site has some great research-backed (and they actually cite it) info that could help you figure out a new approach. I’m not a paid shill, I swear- I just really f-ing hate zits, and this is what works for me. The article is at http://www.cosmeticscop.com/best-acne-fighting-products.aspx . Best of luck– I know it’s hard when you look in the mirror and your outside doesn’t match your inside, but until you figure it out, be kind to yourself because you seem pretty damn awesome to me. 🙂
Hi Juli,
Chris Kresser has done a few articles recently about skin. Here’s the link to one, hope it’s helpful.
http://chriskresser.com/the-gut-skin-connection-how-altered-gut-function-affects-the-skin
Accutane = No way! I was on it in high school and it only worked temporarily as I’m still dealing w/ acne now in my mid-20’s. It was crazy harsh. I realize now it’s a hormonal issue. SO, I’m giving maca powder a try (both topically and mixed in smoothies) as I’ve heard great things about it. Still in the trial stage but am confident as it’s a natural solution and I’m all for those! Have you seen this website?
http://www.crunchybetty.com
Great resources on skin care, search on her site for more on maca if you haven’t heard much about it. She also has a great post about the oil cleansing method, which I think you’ve mentioned you tried before? Anyway, not sure if others commented w/ these suggestions or not but hopefully these tidbits help! I can relate 100,000,000,000,000% on this acne issue. It’s a bitch.
We have a program coming on TV here (Scotland) tonight all about accutane and it’s side effects. It should be interesting and hopefully someone will post it on youtube before too long.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/20468591
I know this is going to sound crazy but you are stressing your skin out… You need to leave it alone and not put anything on it for now on…Don’t put lotion on it and wash it with water (not soap) after the gym. I am a skin freak! My sister and I both have amazing skin because we don’t clog the pores and put anything on it. Have you noticed how moisturizes just dry it out after? The only time my skin is horrible is when I put stuff on it or when I wash it with soup. Our skin heals itself. I promise. You are never letting it do the healing itself and it gets stressed and zits are a sign of that. Let your skin do the work this time. I promise it will pay off. You might have a few weeks of awkward zits showing but don’t do anything to change it. . Think about it? You need to go back to basics. Just leave it alone.
TRUTH.
Though I can’t say avoiding putting anything on my face alone is enough to keep me totally clear, it definitely aids in having less/smaller zits and a speedy recovery whenever I break out from eating crazy for 11+ days. My diet is still the anchor of my clear skin.
Wash your face with water alone or a soap-free/fragrance free bar (for when you want to wash make up off). No exfoliating washes or textured cloths for the time being.
I believe for where you’re at with your skin, doing this and adhering to the basic principles of the diet while avoiding sugars will turn your skin around.
I completely agree bonnes. Everyone is different. Try at least 20 of these ideas that everyone has and see which one works.. LOL.. Sucks but you will figure out your skin and find something that sticks. I am 30 yrs old and finally figured out that lotions and face wash were horrible. So glad I figured it out. Now I have amazing skin and no problems but it wasn’t easy to find the answers. Good luck hun!
I am an accutane believer!!!! I know it is some scary stuff but I was on it in college and didn’t have any side effects! Both of my brothers took it too and none of us have had any issues. They do make you get tested for liver counts (my counts were so good because I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol while I was on it so I didn’t have to get tested every month(I know it sucks to not be able to have a social drink for 5 months but I figured it would be worth it in the end)) and make you take a pregnancy test every month but I have virtually zero scars and I haven’t had a serious break out in almost 10 years. It may have been because I was younger that I didn’t have a lot of issues but my complection is MUCH better off because of it….I was that fat kid with the f*cked up teeth and acne in junior high and high school and once I got to college it was a whole new ball game!! Braces came off…..acne cleared up (because of Accutane) and baby fat became sexy!! 🙂 I know it’s not “paleo” to use Accutane because it is not natural but if you suffer for 5 months and never have a breakout again…..would it be worth it to you??