I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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Have you ever taken an Alcat test? It determines your “food sensitivities” from how your blood reacts to the proteins and sugars in all foods. Basically the test is different for everyone but once you find out what is causing inflamation in your body and cut it out of your diet Wahlah no more breakouts, stomach cramping, headaches, or the multitude of things that plague us when we eat what our body is asking us not to. I topped that diet with 225 billion CFU’s probiotic and have had amazing results.
I know everyone’s just trying to help, which is kind of them, but as a ten-year acne sufferer who’s only been mostly better for a couple years, I can tell you that one of the worst things about this condition is the mixed information and the uncertainty that comes with it. These comments are packed with good advice, and I’ve tried most of it. And I’ve heard that for some people, vitamin A is the magic bullet. I know someone for whom it was zinc. Or birth control pills. Or stopping birth control pills. Or Accutane. Or fasting. Or going paleo. Or going vegetarian. Or products. Or no products. SEE? Everyone is different, almost anything can cause acne, and I’m getting pissed off just thinking about it, because finding your own personal solution is just such a bitch and I remember the hell I went through trying it all for years.
Juli will likely find her answer if she keeps looking, and these comments are a wonderful list of resources she could try, but for those people insisting that it’s definitely fruit, probably eggs, definitely coffee, probably her touching her face too much…you don’t KNOW. Only she can figure out if that’s true for her. I had so many treatments and judgments pushed on me when I was suffering and it made me feel so much worse.
Juli, your site is part of what’s helping me commit to paleo and I’m grateful for it. Also, I think you’re gorgeous and I want a body like yours. I wish you all the best in your search. Curse all you want. It’s like a pressure valve releasing air, and sometimes it just has to be done. Lots of love.
Hi Juli!
I know this post is old, but I thought I might chime in just in case you haven’t found a solution. I totally feel your pain, and agree with many of the comments saying to not take Accutane. It really is as terrible as everyone is saying it is, and my gut has never been the same since.
I live in San Francisco and have been seeing an acne-focused estitician that helped me clear my terrible acne up for my wedding. Like, COMPLETELY clear. She focuses on a regimen using a very clean benzyl peroxide and eliminating all clogging products from your beauty regime. They have a great blog with all kinds of great info at http://www.skinsalvationsf.com/. Their list of clogging ingredients is especially helpful and awesome http://www.skinsalvationsf.com/ss/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/sS-comedogenic-updated-april-25-1024×790.jpg.
The theory they base their practice on is outlined in Acne RX, which is also an amazing resource. http://www.amazon.com/Acne-RX-James-E-Fulton/dp/0971281009/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1368721368&sr=1-1&keywords=acne+rx
Good luck, skin problems are the friggin worst and I feel your pain. I hope this info helps you!
Sarah
SKIN ? Google: Gluten, Celiac, = Skin
NO more gluten for 4 weeks – see what happens to your skin.
You might have skin diabetes like myself. I noticed a lot of your recipes have tons of sugar in them (too much high glycemic fruit). The only fruit I can tolerate is berries in small amounts, cuz they have the lowest glycemic load. You may just have to cut out or cut back on fruit =) My skin now is virtually flawless. Cashews are high in sugar btw, I cannot tolerate them.
Too little sugar however, causes the same problem. I did the Intro to GAPS for awhile, which is basically just meat and broth. My skin went nuts. Though research and my own experience, I find that sugar really affects hormones, and the body needs just the right amount of sugar to keep hormones in balance. So don’t think sugar is evil or anything, you’re probably just eating more than your body can handle. Hope that helps.
Hey hun,
I commented on another one – just found your blog. I have had the exact same problem. On birth control is by far the best, but off birth control has had some nasty-ass acne side effects. Including….some gross bacne. It’s always worst mid-month.
I tried lots like you. Many cleansers, washing, not washing, different lotions, different makeups. A few times in the past year I’ve been in absolute tears. I went to see some ladies in a pharmacy who were a godsend as a start. They took me off the expensive shit that dries your skin out and told me straight up I had sensitive skin and essentially I had hives / allergic reaction – not acne. They immediately put me on a toner without the harsh astringents to use sparingly, ionized water, a very gentle high-quality cleanser and told me to wash 1x a day or less. I switched out my moisturized to a kind for sensitive skin and changed over my makeup.
I used to be on powder (dries skin) and then to cover girl cream. They said it was simply too heavy for my skin and I now apply my cover with a brush and it’s a godsend – thick or thin coverage it’s fantastic. I left it at work or I’d tell you the brand, let me know if you want to know.
Secondly, despite all of this, I was still getting the chin / jawline / shoulders and back sometimes. Yes, watching your wheat and dairy can help, but it’s sugar for me. And the most surprising culprit was fructose. Fructose is obviously in fruit and in refined sugar. You do have a lot of fruit in your recipes, it may be something to consider because since eliminating most sugars, particularly fructose I have seen such a difference. The only way to figure out with food is to do a partial elimination diet fully eliminating something for a number of weeks (long enough for skin to heal).
But, I know what you mean when you say it cleared for a bit and then went back, cleared for a bit and then went back – it’s so frustrating! Only 6 weeks ago I was in tears and refused to go on a date b/c I felt like that’s all anybody could see.
Hang in there, you’ll be great 🙂
Hi Juli – although this is a response long past your post, it’s a good sign you have new followers! Lots of great advice and support above; the one thing I want to add is – you may want to do blood work to see if your liver is overworked. I know – it sounds like overkill for a few zits, but your health is worth it. Let’s face it, you look amazing even with a few blemishes, but you don’t want them to keep coming back to haunt you. What I’m interested in is how you can address the core issue so it doesn’t cause even bigger problems down the road. Sometimes skin problems can indicate a taxed liver, and when the liver is taxed it can’t do all it needs to do. There’s lots more detail, but I just wanted to give a heads up. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Cheers!
Hey Juli,
I didn’t read all the hundreds (!) of comments, but do you know about the toxins and irritants in mainstream cosmetics/skincare? It’s pretty crazy. A good book on this is No More Dirty Looks. Some brands I like are Acure, Dr. Alkaitis, Pangea Organics. For makeup, there are a lot of great brands too – many people like Alima, Vapour, RMS although these are a bit expensive. There are some great indie companies too. Email me if you want more info on this (seriously). Definitely avoid anything with Sodium Lauryl/Laureth Sulfate, Bismuth Oxychloride (in mineral makeup), etc. etc. These are irritants.
How frustrating to have done so much for your health and still be struggling with this problem. Good luck!
Hey Juli,
I just read your post about acne and boy do I understand. I have battled acne my whole life. I have been getting into juicing fruits and vegetables. I’ve only been juicing about a month but in that time my skin has cleared up. It’s a freaking miracle. I cannot begin to explain how exciting it is to not have to stress over my skin. I ordered the Omega 350 vert juicer and next to my husband it is my second love. Hope this helps. Good luck 🙂
Swearing is cathartic, so let her rip sailor.
I know a lot of people are going to offer suggestions, and this might sound super bitchy the first time you read it but:
maybe you just need to come to terms and accept your skin the way it is. Maybe flawless skin is overrated.
Idk, I kind of just go with my flow, if someone likes me or wants to get to know me, they do it to know my inner spirit and humanity, not my face or body. There is something comforting in that. I accept my acne and scars and stretchmarks.
I wouldn’t try accutane, but if you’re at a place where you need to, be my guest.
Also, I think you’re really pretty. I’m sorry that your skin causes you so much trouble.