It’s slightly annoying that I have to write this. Especially since no one has really directly asked me to share why I’ve changed how I eat or changed how I workout. They just go on “hate blogs” to talk about me and other people in this community. It’s a very strange thing. People care more about what others are doing, how others are eating or how those people look, than they seem to care about their own diets, figures, and well, lives. I get it. Those people have boring lives. They do. I will look at instagram and see some of the top female CrossFitters post pictures of their jacked bodies and people talk sh*t about them. Right there. They say “I wouldn’t want to look like that” or “Why would you want to look like a man?” Oh, you know what’s crazy? That is THEIR life. Their non-boring life. Not yours. Theirs. People are entitled to eat what they want, drink what they want, workout how they want to, and really do whatever the eff they want to do. But people just have to voice their negative opinions?
I hate negative people.
I went off on a tangent there, so let me get to why I’m writing this. I recently came across a forum saying things like I have disordered eating or I don’t really eat paleo anymore and I should be living up to the brand I created, and things I posted in the past don’t live up to how I live my life now. And that I should post about why these things have changed. They didn’t come to my blog and request that in the comments, they just posted it on a hateful website. Makes sense, right? It’s ok, I get it. They’re scared. So I’ll help those scared people out and post this blog post.
I used to compete in CrossFit, I used to do 2-3 workouts per day, I used to restrict my diet because I was gaining weight and couldn’t figure out why, I used to say I didn’t mind getting bigger because I wanted to compete at a high level, I used to constantly talk about my frustrations with my body, etc, etc, etc. And recently, I stopped talking about all those things. I stopped talking sh*t about my body, I stopped posting what I ate in a day in blog posts, I stopped working out multiple times a day. I stopped all of it.
In my 26 short years of life, I’ve come to figure out that people seem to talk more about the things they are insecure about. Their relationships, their bodies, their jobs, their diets. Whatever. So I constantly talked about my body and appreciating it because I was trying to cover up all those insecurities I had and come to terms with how I looked. When I was competing in CrossFit, I put on 30 pounds. I wasn’t comfortable at that weight or with how I looked. I didn’t care what other people thought, but I wasn’t comfortable with it. I didn’t fit in my clothes, I didn’t feel sexy, I just didn’t feel like me. So I constantly wrote blog posts trying to come to terms with those insecurities.
I would look to other competitive CrossFitters who were jacked and shredded and even though I could beat some of them in workouts, I didn’t look like that. And I was really insecure about it. And frustrated. So I would try to eat completely strict, restrict my intake of fat, carbs and protein, and just drive myself crazy with restrictions. It was so frustrating. I was looking everywhere for control: In my workouts, in my diet, everywhere.
When I look back, I was completely overtrained. I worked out way too much for my body, I didn’t eat enough, and because of all of this, my hormones were out of control. I finally injured myself (my shoulder), was forced to cut back, and slowly over time started to live a more normal lifestyle. I worked out once a day, I cut back on weights to work on my form and I decided that cutting portions wasn’t working and started eating more of the foods I wanted. My hormones began to level out more, my body felt way better than it ever had, and I lost some of the extra weight I had gained from working out too much.
My body is different than every single other person in this world. Completely different. I could workout the exact same, eat the same, sleep the same and do everything the same as one of my jacked competitive CrossFit friends, and I would look nothing like her. That’s because my body is different. And my goals are now different than they were. Before, I wanted to compete. That’s it. I did that and then I changed my mind so I could live a happier lifestyle. I didn’t think I would ever stop training and stop competing, but I did. Have you ever thought you wanted something and changed your mind along the way? If you haven’t, you’re boring.
So here’s the conclusion for all the a**holes out there that want to talk sh*t behind their computer screens on a website dedicated to hating people: you’re right. You can pat yourself on the back. I’ve had disordered eating habits in the past, along with probably 80% of the female population. I’ve tried all kinds of things to feel better about myself like dieting and excessive working out, along with probably 80% of the female population. I would absolutely love to say that I’m 100% cured and will never have those feelings again, but I think that is a really childish thing to say. I can’t see the future, can you? I can’t see how my body will change, can you? I can’t see the battles I will face someday, can you? Answer: no.
I am absolutely happy where I am now. I sometimes workout 5-6 days per week (I usually do my CrossFit workouts lighter now but sometimes feel like going heavier) then I sometimes take lots of rest days when I feel like it (like the 4 days off last week I took). I’m not as strong as I used to be and I’m ok with that because I’m more comfortable in my skin, but I’m also better with some of my skills like muscle ups since I don’t constantly obsess over them. I eat when I’m hungry, I eat gluten free breads that don’t upset my stomach, I eat a paleo cookies when I want to because it doesn’t upset my stomach like a normal cookie would, and I try to live a life of moderation. Like eating the wedding cake I had this past weekend. It wasn’t paleo, it wasn’t gluten free, it was just delicious and covered with icing. Did I feel bad about it? Nope. Not in the slightest. I want to live a happy life at the end of the day. Not a life of restrictions.
So here’s what I recommend to everyone. Live the life that makes YOU the happiest. Whether that’s paleo, gluten free, pure gluten, CrossFit, jazzercise, marriage, single, muscular, skinny, really whatever. I don’t care. It’s your life. Do what makes YOU the best kind of person. Not because other people do it, but because you love it. And while you’re at it, try to keep your negative comments to yourself. No, don’t try. Just do it.
And that’s how I feel about that.
Thank you for writing this. I get called out all the time — OMG I had a couple nachos and a drink at happy hour! And this is by my family and friends. I found that if I stress less about exactly what I’m eating and just listen to my body and LIVE the stress goes down and I’m happier. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Being happy? Cause seriously, you are the only one who has to live with yourself. Not anyone else. You do you Juli! Don’t let the haters get ya down
I’m so sorry people have been talking bad about you. Regardless of whether we say we won’t let it bother us or not, it can still hurt. I loved this post and will pass it on because it is so true and we all just need to worry about ourselves and stop poisoning others with our negativity. We all need to find what works for us. And I have to say, I LOVE your blog! I went Paleo just a few months ago for health reasons and yours was the first website I went to when I needed a little inspiration (I’ve been gluten free for over 5 years and had already made several of your recipes.) I’ve gotten some criticism myself recently and I don’t understand it. I’m just trying to make myself healthier – to stop being miserable – and it’s working and I can’t believe some people just can’t be happy for me. Then again, like you said it’s often things we don’t like in ourselves we feel the need to complain about and they aren’t living very cleanly or healthfully. I would love to give them my opinion in how I feel about that but I don’t because I’m nicer than they are. And happier for not stooping to their level and buying into all the hype out there. Keep it up, Juli. You’re awesome!!
Juli you are such an inspiration!! THank you for this post today, I really needed this and can relate 100% !! I read your blog everyday and making all your recipes!! I was most miserable when overtraining and restricting my diet to pretty much veggies and protein with starchier items here and there.. Balance and moderation is key! I enjoy goat cheese, some gluten free items and having cheat meals here and there with no regrets!!! Thank you for being such a positive role model because you are a REAL normal person!!! 🙂
You are so wise! I’m 64 years old, going into my third year of paleo after decades (DECADES!) of being miserable about my body. I have never been healthier, felt better about myself or been more comfortable in my own skin than these last few years. Good for you for reaching such very sane conclusions at the ripe old age of 26. You will rock in your golden years!
Meghan says exactly what I’m thinking. At 49 I’ve finally reached this same point too. You are wise beyond your years Juli and it looks like you’ve got a lot more supporters than critics here. Perhaps you could consider not even visiting those sites with the haters? Eventually you will be able to ignore those types of post. You’re a rock star now so that’s just inevitable. 🙂 Rock on, girl!
Sorry. Not Meghan, Marie! 😛
Absolutely beautiful and well said! I couldn’t agree with you more. We all should do what feeds our soul. It’s sad that people can’t either see the positive in what others do…or at least mind their p’s & q’s….I love what you do and the inspiration you give to others…we all have gone through things and are not here to judge others…
Your a kind soul Juli, keep up the great work 🙂
Preach, Juli! I loved this post. Good for you. You don’t have to explain yourself to any of us and yes, if you didn’t change, you would be boring! Everyone changes. This post was exactly what I needed to hear today, so thank you. Keep being the best version of yourself — whatever that looks like over time. 🙂
Lots of love from a Denver reader!
Well said! One big lesson I’ve learned in this past year is that criticism oftentimes comes from and reflects another person’s insecurities. And you don’t need to be online to see that. This is your blog, you put the hard work into making it what it is, and you have every right to share your life with the people who choose to read it, whether you’re eating 100% paleo or not. It’d be incredibly disingenuous to not be open about those things, so I applaud you!
Juli, you are doing just fine! Learning about ourselves and discovering what works for is the whole point, and it’s a lifelong journey. What they wrote says more about the writer than it ever will about you. Think how ugly a person must be inside to be that hateful?
I’ve never posted a comment, but I feel compelled to tell you that I think you rock! As a 26 year old woman, I can totally relate to your past struggles and I strive everyday to have the confidence you project. Thanks for being awesome.
I started following you on IG because I love your style of writing and your pics; food, dog, workouts, whatever. I basically stopped following you because I couldn’t stand the fact that at least one person on, it seems, every single photo, would try and call you out. Down to telling you that frozen berries aren’t “paleo”. It is crazy how involved people feel that they are entitled to get in your life and how mean/judgmental/snarky/jealous some of them are! I felt awful for you and kind of hope that you have put your comments notifier on auto-delete.
This post was very well written, passionate while still being civil and honest. Nice work!
it really is frustrating on instagram sometimes. so many people just have honest questions, then people jump down their throats, but then people just feel like being mean. it’s so strange.