I know what you’re thinking. These cookies don’t look very good. But you know what I’m thinking? “You’re dumb. These cookies are super delish. And making paleo cookies look good is real hard. Because I suck at it. Just trust me.
So I am sitting in Breckenridge right now, on an absolutely gorgeous day, and blogging. Seems weird, but sadly enough, I absolutely LOVE it. I like going to different places to blog because I get so sick of sitting on my couch, blogging in my underwear, smelling like cooked meat for the rest of my day outside of my house. Smelling like Starbucks is kind of better. Have you ever eaten lunch in a Subway and smelled like that afterwards? You’d think it would smell good, right? Baked bread. But no, you smell like soiled socks afterwards. If that’s not a sign that you shouldn’t eat gluten, I don’t know what is.
And as I type this, there is a couple sitting next to me, not being able to take their hands off each other. It’s a bit obnoxious all while being ridiculously adorable. I’m not a huge PDA person but if a guy wants to hold my hand and stare at me while saying how much he likes me, I’d be down. AND this couple is looking at engagement rings. Oh go f*ck yourself. I’m kidding, don’t hate me. I don’t even really want to get married and I still think that’s stupid cute. I’m a total hopeless romantic. I don’t want to get married, but I want someone who would actually like me enough to want to marry me. Catch 22 anyone? Well, I don’t think so. But every man out there thinks we are just after marriage. You men, are dumb. I just want a simple, nice guy who likes me as much as I like them. Is that too much to ask? Ok, I’m done complaining.
I can’t stop staring at this couple. I’m such a creep.
Have you ever been to Breckenridge? It’s gorgeous and super cute. Especially this time of year. The aspen leaves are changing to yellow so these huge bundles of yellow trees are placed throughout the greenery and it’s CRAZY cool looking. I grew up around the mountains and never cared. Now I finally like it a little more. Unless it’s snowy. Being cold blows. And dressing yourself in warm clothes is expensive. Damn you Colorado winter. I know you’re coming for me.
Speaking of dressing yourself, I went shopping this weekend. AND I didn’t even cry. I was actually happy. Weird, I know. Staring at yourself in dressing rooms is not exactly happy fun times when you have cellulite like I do. But I moved past that the other day. I said “holy sh*t, your ass is huge” and then I bought the jeans that my ass fit into. 2 pairs, actually. That means I have FOUR pairs of the same kind of jeans. I bought them at Old Navy if you were wondering where an ass my size could find jeans. The Rock Star style. They’re awesome. So stretchy, I will be able to increase my thigh size by at least 4 inches around and still be able to fit into them. Genius. Oh, and they were only $20! F*ck yeah. My mom would be so proud.
Thank god this couple is finally leaving. I almost told them I hated them for how awesomely loving they are. That would have been weird. For all of us.
Oh, and if you’re wondering where the hell I got nutella? Well, it’s not exactly nutella. It’s Nikki’s Coconut Butter Chocolate Hazelnut Brownie Coconut Butter. To die for. I’m not even kidding. I would eat this before I died. If you haven’t seen their products yet, you gotta do it. Truly fantastic flavors.
Nutella Banana Bread Cookies
- Yield: 12 1x
Ingredients
- 2 bananas, the browner the better
- 8 medjool dates, pits removed
- 4 tablespoons coconut flour
- 2 eggs
- 1 tablespoon raw honey (optional-it’s naturally sweet already)
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/4 cup Nikki’s Chocolate Hazelnut Brownie Coconut Butter
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Place your dates in a food processor and pulse until you get a paste.
- Then add your brown bananas to mix.
- Next add your vanilla extract, eggs, honey, and coconut oil and puree.
- Pour your batter into a bowl, then add your cinnamon, coconut flour, baking powder, and salt.
- Lastly, fold in your Nikki’s Chocolate Hazelnut Brownie Coconut Butter.
- Use a large spoon or ice cream scoop to scoop out a large ball of batter and place on a parchment paper line baking sheet.
- My batter made 12 cookies
- Baking for 22-25 minutes.
- Let cool.
- Eat em and love em.
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I went jean shopping yesterday and it was surprisingly a success…. only because I bought the same exact pair of jeans that I already had. Hey stick with what ya know and like, right? !
I do this with everything I own, once I find something that is comfortable, fits, and makes me look like a rockstar I buy it in every color they make. A girl’s gotta have options.
Ok…so this is now officially the first thing I am going to make the minute I finish my Whole30. I know it kinda defeats the point of the Whole30 to make a dessert immediately after I am done, but that is now your fault! 🙂 I ordered the Nikki’s Coconut Butter Sampler and it is sitting it it’s box unopened for fear I would devour all of it in one sitting. Now it has a greater purpose than just being shoveled in my mouth with a spoon! Thank you for this, and all your other, awesomely-amazing recipes!
Oh, and while Nikki’s Coconut Butter is WAYYYY better, you can make your own Paleo Nutella pretty easily. Per Mark’s Daily Apple:
16 oz Hazlenuts, roasted
3T cocoa powder
1T Stevia
?T Coconut oil, liquified
– Roast hazelnuts in oven at 350 for 10 minutes. (The skins will crack)
– Let cool over night
– Remove skins from nuts
– Grind nuts in food processor until consistency of cookie dough. About 5 minutes.
– Add Stevia and cocoa powder. Mix to combine
– Add coconut oil a little at a time and mix until the consistency of peanut butter.
lol. you’re a nut!.. in a good kinda way 🙂 You totally put into writing my thoughts re: marriage/guys. Stupid men.
ill try this recipe on my next cheat day. thanks
Where do you buy coconut flour? And does anyone else have the same problem with it as one of the commenters above?
I buy mine at tropicaltraditions.com
You are so amazingly hilarious….and the bread looks delish as well!!!
“Damn you Colorado winter. I know you’re coming for me.” LOL. Thank you for making me giggle at my desk every day AND for finding a way to make anything like Nutella into a paleo food! Awesome.
Here I am, thinking I’m freaking supermom of three (work full time as a teacher, xfit 4-5 times a week & a spin class) who will come home after xfit and make my own Nutella coconut butter!!! All bc I saw this recipe and wanted instant gratification. Here’s a hint!! It’s a pain in the ass and it takes forever!!! My husband is ready to kill me and he has already gone upstairs to order me the sample pack from Nikki’s. WTF was I thinking. PS I didn’t even get it to taste as good as I’m sure hers is. PPS I made the apple cinnamon muffins as well tonight (yes I’m totally crazy!) and they were AMAZING. and my kids all loved them. Thanks for listening to my rant. Thanks for cooking so yummy.
Which flavor of coconut butter is your favorite? Would like to try one, but don’t want to take my chances on one I don’t think I’d like. 🙂
The macadamia nut cookie!