Orange Creamsicle Collagen Smoothie (+ cooking video!)

{ NEW COOKING VIDEO! }

Top of the mornin’ to ya! It is bright and early here in Colorado because I’m about to hop in the shower to get ready for a full day of cooking videos. But before I put real big girl clothes on and get to smiling for 7 hours straight, let’s get to business – Bachelor recap time! Just a heads up, I’m a week behind since I was in Mexico during the first episode. So this recap is from last weeks episode.

So this episode starts off with a group date that really sets the scene with a sign that says GLOB. This date had to do with the show GLOW which is a Netflix show that shares the story of the women of wrestling. Not sure why ABC is promoting a rival television service, but go you, ABC. This group date is awful. Not only are group dates a terrible idea in the real world or just in general, but then these women are forced to act, fake fight, and try to look sexy for one man, all while being coached and made fun of by two women who were part of the GLOW franchise and take this all a bit too serious. One woman makes fun of Bibiana for her name and says her mother didn’t know how to spell. Low blow. Then another woman pulls Tia’s hair. I know these women are suppose to act like they are having fun, but if some rando pulled my hair, I’d cut a b*tch. But that’s just me. The wrestling dates have 4 different fake fights that make the entire world feel uncomfortable. The only person enjoying herself is BeKAH, probably because she’s 22 and was just fighting in bar while in college a month ago. The best part of the entire date was Mikel becoming the lunch lady while all the other girls dressed in sexy decor. I need Mikel to be shown a little more. I dig her.

All the fake fighting ends with Arie fighting Pretty Boy Pitbull from Rachel’s season and Arie takes him down by his balls. Interesting last move, Arie. The date ends with BeKAH speaking to Arie in octave deeper than her normal voice then dry humping the sh*t out of him. I’m gonna give you a real big surprise here – she gets the date rose.

The next date is a one-on-one with Lauren S, who I think is just the cutest little tea cup. She’s just precious. But she says dumb stuff. The date card says, “You had me at merlot” and Lauren S mentions that she thinks it has to do with wine. No way, Lauren S, no way. Well, turns out Lauren S was right! She meets Arie to fly to Napa and it’s pretty easy to see the Arie is immediately over her. You know how you could tell? He’s eating food. In the history of this entire show, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single person eat anything. Unless they had to eat a fire pepper then make out. Pure date perfection. I’ve heard from other contestants on the show that they eat before they film so they are full and don’t eat on camera and screw up the audio. So in reality, they are given cold, old food for props. And Arie was chowing down on that staleness. It seemed to be the only thing that could get him through the date while Lauren S had constant word vomit. Even Lauren says to the camera that she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and why can’t she shut up. Well, Arie obviously isn’t into a woman who can talk a lot because he finally picks up the date rose, then proceeds to tell her that she’s obviously close to her family and he wouldn’t want to keep her from them. Way to bullsh*t your way through that break up, Arie. You could just say – “Hey, you talk too much and I simply want to eat your face sooooo I just don’t think it’s going to work out.”  See, doesn’t telling the truth feel good?

The next group date is the just as bad as the GLOB date. At first, I saw that it involved dogs and I was immediately excited. But then it included performing in front of children and I was immediately horrified. No thanks. As soon as Annaleise finds out she has to be on a date with dogs, she immediately has another crying meltdown, sharing her fear of dogs from multiple occasions. This comes after her having a breakdown on the last episode about the demolition derby date because she was scared of bumper cars. I get it, Annaleise. We have a lot of fears from growing up. I taught swim lessons to children for 8 years…I should be having a break down every time I come in contact with a small human, but I keep the crying for the privacy of my own home. That girl needs some therapy. And that’s coming from a person who also needs therapy. Maybe we can go together and face our stupid fears as BFFs!

The date is pointless and miserable to watch. These women have to dress up and try to get their dogs to perform some sort of trick. Absolutely no dogs obey. Arie mentions that the dog show is going to be epic…I’m not sure Arie knows what the word epic means. Someone needs to get this man out of his cardigan and out on the town, for gosh sakes.

After the dog show, Chelsea mentions that it was hard to see children and be around them since she’s a mom. Ummmmm didn’t you make the conscious decision to apply for this show and leave your child behind? I don’t really know what else happened other than Jenna wearing black lipstick and me wondering what that clean up was like afterwards. Especially since Arie wears pretty apparent makeup. But good for Jenna for wearing black lipstick. Bold.

The show ends with an incredibly awkward cocktail hour.

1. Bibiana is trying so hard to get privacy with Arie so she puts together a bed and a telescope in the driveway but Arie and some blonde chick find it first and make out on it instead. Poor Bibiana. It was the start to her end on the show.
2. BeKAH lets Arie know that she doesn’t need him and that’s why he likes her. Arie’s mind is blown. Which doesn’t make much sense. Arie, she’s 22. Of course she doesn’t need you.
3. Annaleise takes Arie up 45 flights of stairs to the corner of the rooftop of the mansion to hopefully get a kiss from him. Arie turns her down. She got turned down by the guy who has the nickname pillow lips. Gross. That nickname makes my stomach turn.
4. But the absolute best part of the episode that was easily missed if you weren’t watching closely was when Jenna started making out with Arie then pulls away and either throws up in her mouth or burps. OR she had a small seizure. It’s very hard to know. But he giggles and doesn’t question it whatsoever and she goes on to try to straddle him in a white maxi dress, which is a bit physically impossible. It was the beeeeeest. I even rewinded it to watch it all play out again.

You can tell that The Bachelor is holding off when it comes to what they show on TV and the amount of drunkness they’ll let us see after the Bachelor in Paradise drama. Such a shame because I think Jenna would be fantastic TV if they just showed her a tad more. Shame.

Ok, I need to go film some new cooking videos. In the meantime, check this new one out above and try this recipe ASAP! It’s so easy and so damn tasty!

Orange Creamsicle Collagen Smoothie

★★★★★

4.8 from 34 reviews

 

• Author: juli
• Prep Time: 5 minutes
• Total Time: 5 minutes
• Yield: 1 1x

Ingredients

Scale 1x2x3x

• 1 large frozen banana
• 3/4 cup cold-pressed orange juice
• 1/2 cup almond milk
• 1/4 cup unsweetened plain cashew milk yogurt
• 1 heaping tablespoon honey
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 tablespoons Great Lakes Collagen Peptides

Instructions

1. Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.

Notes

 

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