Our Little Love Story – Episode 8: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast

I don’t know why the hell I decided to do this podcast episode, but it just felt right, OK?!?. It’s fun to share love sometimes. ESPECIALLY right now during a time when there is so much anger and hatred in America. Let’s spread the love!

I rarely talk about my husband. I just kind of like it that way. I like that part of my life to be slightly private and to be away from the public eye of social media. Because as we all have figured out at this point, social media is the worst.

But I thought it would be fun to share a little bit more about our relationship and our ups and downs since we had a lot at the beginning! What I wish I would have talked about in this podcast more is how damn cool he is. He’s a good person with a good soul who wants to continue to get better and be better, and that’s what I love about him so much. I fell in love with him because he’s good to his core. He challenges and makes me want to be better. If I could recommend anything to people in the dating world, it would be to find someone who is a good person and driven to become even better. That’s my little PSA of the day.

Next week I’ll be talking about eating healthy while traveling and staying motivated during the holidays! And if you have any recommendations or topics you’d like me to cover and talk about, let me know!! Happy Saturday!!

[powerpress]

Episode 8 Transcription:

This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

Juli Bauer: Hey guys! It’s Juli here from www.PaleOMG.com. I had someone the other day tell me that they visited my blog after listening to my podcast; they didn’t even know about my blog! How the hell you came across my podcast, I don’t know, but that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard in the history of time. So thank you to that human being.

You know, I’m just over here cooking some Thanksgiving recipes, so I may have to pause in between, get the potatoes out of the oven. No, don’t ask if potatoes are paleo; do your f*cking Google research yourself! Figure out what works for you! But that’s not what we’re getting into today. You know what we’re getting into? We’re going to talk about; and feel free to leave if you need to; but we’re going to talk about my love story with my husband. Because I’ve been with him for 4 years now, and I’ve only talked about him very little on the blog. And so I thought it would be fun to do a podcast, because I never talk about him, I just talk about him like; “Aww, he cooked dinner for me, what a sweetheart!” type of thing. I try to just keep out of my blog and off of social media. Because social media, as we’ve seen from the election, is f*cking awful. Social media is true hell come to life. So I like to keep my husband off that hell; that hell life that sometimes I have to live pretty much every day.

So I just wanted to talk about our story, so you guys can just know it a little bit more, one person requested it. I’m not acting like everyone’s like; “Oh my god, tell me all about your love story!” No. One person requested it, so it’s like; f*ck yeah! F*ck yeah I’ll do it! So I’m just going to talk a little bit about my husband, our past life, our present life. And go from there, you know. I didn’t even write down a description of what this podcast will look like; I didn’t do any bullet points, I’m just completely winging it. The research I did on me and my husband’s relationship was, I went to look back at Facebook to see what our first conversations were, because that was how we kind of first started talking was Facebook. But ok, I’m getting ahead of myself, ok guys.

So let’s talk about this little husband of mine. So I just got married back in April, and we got married in Jamaica, and it was f*cking awesome. If I could make everybody do a destination wedding, I absolutely would. Because, I mean, I don’t know why anyone in the world wants to plan a wedding, when you do destination wedding you don’t have to plan sh*t. it is the best! No stressful times, it’s awesome. Ok, I’m still getting ahead of myself. Backtrack. Let’s go back to the beginning.

So, how I met my husband. You know what, I get this question a lot on social media, and it’s if I believe in gym-cest; which is gym incest if you didn’t get that, and that means dating within the gym. Which can be really f*cking sketchy, I’ll tell you that much. And I’ve done it many times. So I met my husband 5 years ago, now. Just a short 5 years ago, and he became a member at our gym. I met this guy, Grant, at our gym, and then he brought his roommate at the time, which was my husband, now husband, Brian. And he brought him to the gym, and my husband walked in. {laughs} I keep saying my husband. Brian walked in to the gym, and I was like; this guy is really hot, but he looks like a total asshole. He just has a grumpy looking face, he walks with a strut, because he walks really f*cking slow, and I’m fast, fast, fast all the time. So I just kind of; I automatically thought this guy was a tool-bag. {laughs}

So I coached him for a while, and yep, just coached him, didn’t think anything of it, because I was coaching him. But I did think that he didn’t like me because he didn’t make much eye contact with me, and he just didn’t talk to me much. It was really hard to pull anything out of him. So I just didn’t ever think of him as anything. So, at one point, my friend Tommy, who is friends with Brian (and later on in the story, you’ll find out he married us.) Well Tommy asked me to be on a kickball team; because he’s like, well, you’re athletic in the Crossfit gym, you must be athletic so you have to b e on our kickball team. And at this point, I was like; hmm, cool. This guy Tommy’s hot, he must have hot friends, so I’ll definitely join this kickball team, because then I’ll meet his hot friends, and then I’ll fall in love with someone. You know, in the joking manner; I was like, I’ll do anything to meet some dudes outside of the gym, because I didn’t want to date anybody in the gym because that can lead to sketchy things sometimes.

So, I joined this kickball team; quickly Tommy found out I am not coordinated whatsoever, and I’m absolutely terrible at all sports outside of Crossfit. Hi doggie! So I was on the kickball team, and I can’t remember if my friend Grant might have said something along the lines of; “Brian reads your blog religiously, like he reads it every single day.” And I just thought that was so weird, because this guy never made eye contact with me, never made a conversation with me, he seemed like he hated me, so I thought it was super weird. So after our kickball games, he kind of was like; here, I’ll help you practice kicking the ball. Maybe I forced him; who knows. Who knows, really, but we started kind of playing after the game, and we’d be like throwing the ball around, kicking the ball. I was trying to do this handstand move where I would go into a handstand and catch the ball between my legs; something really stupid, and I was like, “Oh my god, maybe he thinks I’m cute!” and he probably did not.

So, I was like, ok, when I heard that he reads my blog, I was like; maybe this guy actually does like me in some way, I don’t know. But I asked him; so I went back on Facebook, I did this research, and I asked him, we were like awkwardly; I don’t know if only I was awkwardly flirting, but I asked him out because I invited him to one birthday I was having in the park one year, like 5 years ago, and I invited him to my birthday, and at one point I left to just go workout. Like, I left my own birthday party to go work out, and he was like; he must have come, and I wasn’t there at my own birthday party. And he’s like, who leaves their own birthday party. So, I was like, “Well I can make it up to you and take you out to dinner.” Like, so sly. You’re cool, Juli.

But he did not respond to that; thank you Brian, for not responding to me asking you out to dinner. And then that kind of went radio silent. And then one night, of course, he. Oh my gosh, now Jackson has to go to the bathroom; this f*cking guy. Just hold on one second, ok.

It turns out my dog just wanted a treat. He did not get one; I’m not giving in. I put him outside. Go to the bathroom, dog. You won’t get a treat out of me, you have to lose 1 pound, the vet said so. He has me wrapped around his little paw!

Ok, so at one point Brian Facebooked me. This f*cking world of Facebook is the worst. I’m so glad my younger years of dating didn’t include it. But, he reached out to me and asked if I wanted to meet up for something that him and his friends were going to. And this was when I had really bad cystic acne, and I had just had all these extractions, and it was the worst day ever, and then I had a chemical peel on top of it, so I was pretty much pouring this old person that I used to get my face done with, I was pretty much pouring chemicals into open wounds. It was so f*cked up. It was so f*cked up. But my face was a sh*t storm, and there was no f*cking way I was going out into public with that face. So he invited me on some Art Walk on Santa Fe if you know anything about Denver, and I said, “No thank you, but I’d love to make it up to you going out to dinner!” I don’t f*cking know. I think some of the conversations end from there.

But we somehow awkwardly started dating. Started going out, started hanging out. I remember some of our first dates were going to the grocery store. Like, every Monday night, we’d both go to the grocery store together and get stuff. And I’d talk to him about what I was going to make that week, and it was just like friendly banter; it was just kind of weird. {laughs} Something about my husband is, I’m very outgoing, I say exactly what is on my mind. And he’s the completely opposite. Like, he’s outgoing, but he keeps to himself, he doesn’t do confrontation. He’s just a quieter guy, so I never knew what he was thinking and it drove me f*cking crazy!

So we just did this not calling it a relationship thing, and it annoyed the sh*t out of me. If you’re a dude out there listening to this, and you’re like; “Oh, I don’t want to call it a relationship,” you’re the worst. Those guys are the worst, and my husband was that guy. But I loved him.

This dog. This dog. He’s just such a little guy. This podcast is literally not going to get done because I’m going to be interrupted 27 times from this damn dog. Ok, honestly, whenever I record a podcast, I‘m like; “Who the f*ck is listening to this?” So, thank you for whoever is. I really appreciate you, and I wish I could kiss you right on the face.

So anyways. Brian and I did this on and off kind of dating thing; and I finally was like, “What are we doing here?” And he was like, “Why do we have to put a label on it?” You know, that normal bullsh*t. And I just wasn’t into that anymore. I was like, I can’t do this. We kind of ended things, and then got back together, and then ended things; but he wouldn’t call it a relationship, and that really bugged me, and it made me really pissed off. I was like, ok, if you won’t call it a relationship, it’s probably not right, we’re not right for each other and I think I should just move on. You’re amazing.

And I even did this blog post quite a while ago about breaking up whenever we broke up, and I was like, “We broke up and it’s not working.” And I was so sad because I loved this guy, and I really did, and he couldn’t say that back and it was just so heartbreaking because I loved him so much and I felt like I was the only one in it and it was just really hard. It was such an upsetting time. And I think when you’re going through love and dating and you see other people’s love stories, and you feel like everyone’s is perfect. They got together, they fell in love; and this is the kind of role that social media plays in our life; that every relationship is just so easy and they just fall in love, and it’s love at first sight, and all that bullsh*t. and it totally probably is for some people, but it wasn’t that way for me. And I’m like; ok maybe I’m just trying to force this relationship.

So we ended things, and then I ended up going on some dates with other people, and I just did my own thing. And I think he saw that; {laughs} and there’s two sides to every story, but I think he saw that and that didn’t feel good. That sucked. And he didn’t want that. Jackson; don’t you whine! So what; no I’ll get to that in just a second. So, what happened; oh and I’m going to talk about marriage hacks! I really should have written down a story line to this plot that I’m brewing right now.

So after we broke up, I was like; we can just be friends. And he started doing these really nice things. Like he would just leave stuff; he left some stuff on my car, he brought some stuff to my roommate. And I was like, you know, we can just be friends. You can come hang out with me and my friends, but I’m not hanging out with you and yours. You can just be my friend, whatever. We kind of did that for a while, and I just; I was like, I don’t think this relationship is right. I finally called him out on some of his sh*t. I was like, “Honestly, I don’t expect you to read this at all, but this book”; which I know so many people out there have read it; this book called the Five Love Languages really helped me understand myself a little bit better, because I had read it not long after we broke up, and I was like “This just helps me figure out myself a little bit. If anything you should just take the test in the back of the book, and figure out your love languages.”

He was going out of town that weekend, so he took the book with him, and he ended up reading the entire book, and taking the test, and whatever. So when he got back, we talked completely about that, and he was like, I want to be a better boyfriend. I really want to do this. And I told him; I was like, I think we should write the pros and cons to a relationship; to this relationship. And I think that sounds really weird to some people, like, why you would write the pros and cons, but I am just a completely honest person. So I wrote the things I loved about him, and I wrote the things that I did not like about him at all, and that made me feel bad; in that he wasn’t a person who showed affection in public, and I’m not a person to make out in public or hug long term {laughs} but I am a person who likes if you hold my hand or put your hand on my knee when we’re at dinner. Like, those small things that you do; I needed those and he didn’t do any of those things, and he just didn’t understand that because that wasn’t part of his love language, if you will.

If you didn’t notice, this is is actually a therapeutic podcast. You’re welcome. This is free therapy advice. That was stupid.

Ok, so we talked about the pros and cons. We wrote down; I remember I had the notes section of my phone. I wish I still had that; but I had the pros of our relationship, and it had the cons, and we went over both. And we talked about if we could get through those cons about our relationship. And we just went through all that, and it was extremely helpful, actually, and then we finally said; ok, let’s do this. And what was really hard was my best friend, Laura, that I’ve talked about here before and many times on my blog; she had seen me go through these ups and downs; and me saying, “I really like him, I don’t like him, I’m not going to text him” just playing all the bullsh*t games of dating. And she was like, “I don’t…”

{beeping} Oh, hold on. The potatoes are done guys! We’ve got to get the potatoes out!

Nope. They’re not done. 15 more minutes. You’ll hear that beep again in a second. So anyways, Laura had seen me go through the ups and downs in this relationship; and she was like, “Maybe it’s just not right, and you’re really forcing it.” AKA, you’re annoying the f*ck out of me, stop talking about your breakups! Gah, you dumb bitch! That’s how she felt. She would never say that because she’s kindest human ever, but I would.

So, what happens is when we decided to get back together, I told Brian, I was like, “You’re going to have to talk to Laura because what my friends think is really important to me, and you’ve kind of shattered the trust in her.” So he ended up taking her out to dinner, and I didn’t even know, and he had taken her out to dinner, and just told her his goal, and wanted this relationship to work. And it was really awesome; it just showed that he really did care. So we kind of started dating on the down low, didn’t really tell people about it when we started dating again, and just took it super slow. And because I had been dating other people, and then I was going back to Brian; so I felt like the dummy, that I was like; Ok, I’m going back to the guy that him and I had broken up multiple times. I’m going back to this guy; I look like such a dick, and you get wrapped up on what people thing. That sh*t sucks.

So we started dating really slow, and then a few months of really committing in that relationship; we’re like, sh*t we should move in together. Our leases are up, let’s do this. Let’s take the next step. So we moved into our apartment together, and it was actually super easy. So many people were like; “Oh my god, the moving in the first time is such a sh*t storm, it’s so annoying!” and it really wasn’t. I think because we had talked through all these relationship things and pros and cons, that when something came up that made me upset or made him upset, we were able to talk about it right away and not build up this tension in a relationship. It was f*cking awesome!

So we moved into this apartment together, and then the next step of our family. We had lived together probably for, I don’t know, just for a few months in that apartment, and I had been talking about getting a dog for a long time, and I had been sending him; forcing him Frenchie pictures every day. I would send him a couple of Frenchie pictures, and he started kind of getting into the idea of getting a Frenchie. This guy is such a doll; he was like, ok we’ll get him after your book tour. And I was like; ok, that’s good. I’ll put it in the back of my mind, we can get him later. And then one day he comes home from work, goes into the bedroom to put pajama pants on, or sweats on, and there’s a knock at the door. We had been having a handy man come a lot, there had been issues at our apartment. So I’m like; “Will you get the door?” He’s like, “No I don’t have pants on.” I was like, “Ugh, I have to do everything!” That bitch move.

And then, I open the door, and what’s sitting at my little doorstep? Jackson himself, in puppy form, weighing 8 pounds (he’s 40 now); 8 pounds, just being a gem. And I was like, what the hell is going on? What’s going on? Somebody left a dog at my doorstep! And it had been our friend Tommy, who married us, who introduced us kind of, and he had put the puppy down and then hid on the other side. So Jackson was just sitting there, and he crawled up into my arms, into my lap and into my shoulder, and I melted, and that was the best day of my life. Is that weird? It kind of is weird, but I f*cking love my dog so much, it’s unbelievable. Especially because I didn’t like dogs until I got my own. It’s the same thing they say about kids; but kids, that’s for another podcast.

So, while we were living together, we’re just boyfriend and girlfriend when we moved into our apartment. And I hadn’t; I kind of felt like, we’ve been together for a while now. I feel like; and we’re talking about buying a house, I feel like engagement is probably kind of soon. And I sent my dad; so my dad designed my ring, he’s a jeweler, he did my ring. So I sent him some ideas. I was like, “I don’t know if this is going to ever happen or when, but I’m going to send you these ideas.” So, my friends kept asking me, they’re like, “When do you think you’re going to get engaged?” And it put the thought in my head; and I was like, well sh*t, he hasn’t proposed. And then one of my friends was like, “Is it because you don’t know if you want to have kids and he does.” And I was like, oh f*ck, I don’t’ know! She’s like, “You should probably have that conversation.”

So all these people just kept getting in my head instead of me just thinking about our own relationship. I’m like; sh*t, we’re not engaged yet, is he not going to propose to me? Sh*t, I don’t know if I want to have kids, is that hindering him proposing? What are we still doing? Just all this sh*t in my head. F*cking people; go f*ck yourselves. Keep your own business! But they were just meaning well, but they suck.

So we; I don’t know how long we were engaged. I don’t know; oh, I’m sorry, we were just together before we got engaged. But I didn’t expect anything; turns out, he proposed in January and he had the ring since August, but my dad wanted to change out the diamond that was in it; something like that. So he was planning to propose in August and it got pushed back to January. Something along those lines. I could have the story completely wrong because I have the memory of a 2-year-old. But, anyways.

So the engagement night was awesome. I guess I should say that was the best night of my life other than Jackson, ok, because that’s f*cked up. But my husband is awesome at surprises. He’s the best gift giver. So my friend told me that it was her birthday, she wanted to go out downtown and her husband had something planned for her, so to meet at this address and then we were going to meet up with the husbands, and Brian afterwards, after we did this girl stuff downtown. So I get dressed up, and I get my nails done and whatever. I didn’t like my nail color, and I texted Brian; I was like, I don’t even want to go out tonight. It was the middle of the week, or it was like Monday or something. I’m like, I don’t want to go out, this sucks. He was like, I’m going to meet up with you afterwards, it’s going to be fun, don’t worry. So I just take an Uber downtown, and I turn up, and it’s the clock tower. That’s the address. And if you’ve ever been to Denver and you see a clock tower, that’s what I’m talking about. So, I walk in, and the lady looks at me, and she’s like, Juli? I’m like, yeah. She’s like, “Are you here for Rhonda’s birthday.” I was like, “Yep!” She’s like, “Ok, I’ll send you up.” And puts in her little code for the elevator and sends me upstairs.

I walk in, and there’s more stairs, and I’m in these 6-inch heels, and there’s that grate type stairway where your heels are falling in. and I turn a corner and I see rose petals, and I’m like, sh*t! Rhonda’s husband went all out for her birthday. Because they just had a kid, so I was like, ok he’s really trying to make sure she doesn’t hate her life. {laughs} So I see rose petals, and I turn the corner, and it’s just Brian there. And I know right away, and I started crying, and it’s romantic, there are candles and it’s in this big clock tower so you see the inside of the clock tower. So he proposes, and we have champagne, and we go on the top of the clock tower, and then slowly, my family and my friends and Brian’s family and his friends all start coming, and it’s an engagement party right there and then. It was so f*cking awesome. And then he had my favorite food truck cater; Quiero Arepas; because I love arepas! And he had gluten free cupcakes. Of course, he put food into the engagement, he’s no dummy.

So it was such an awesome night, it was so fucking cool. And then we got married about a year and a half later; a year and four months or something like that, because we were waiting for my book tour to be over. And we got married in Jamaica, and Jamaica was so f*cking easy. I don’t know why anybody gets married at home. Sure, {laughs} none of my family was there; my parents were there, but it was so awesome. It was the least amount of stress I’ve ever been through. I just showed up with my dress, put my dress on, did my own makeup, walked down, said our vows, and then partied, drank too much, and passed out by 9 p.m. But hey, it was well worth it. And cheap. Cheap compared to weddings here in the U. S. of A. It was so much fun. It was really, really awesome.

And at that point, we had already bought our first home together. We actually bought it before we got married, which was the most stressful day of my life! Being self employed and getting paid by multiple people; banks don’t really like, surprisingly. So I was like running around with my head cut off, and Briand’s like, “here’s my W2. Ok bye!” Ugh. That was the most stressful time in our relationship, fo sure.

But yeah, I get this question all the time because I never show Brian’s face on any of my social media. I think he’s maybe been in there in the past a couple of times before we were really official, but I decided that first and foremost because I watched people on social media; someone I was close to at the time. And I would watch their relationship in private, and then see their relationship unfold on social media, and it was a huge lie. {laughs} and I didn’t want to put this façade on that our relationship was perfect, like so many people do. I didn’t want it to feel like; I was like, “Oh, our relationship is so good all the time, and life is great!” Because it’s not like that, it takes a lot of work, and relationships are hard work, and building a life with someone is hard work, and really getting to know someone throughout it all as they change, and understand their changes, and support their changes, and love them throughout is challenging. So I decided ahead of time I wasn’t going to do that.

I also, the way; and I’ve talked about this in the past, but the sh*t that people say to me online is so ungodly mean sometimes, and I can’t believe that people think it’s ok to say those things. And I can’t imagine if someone ever said something in a negative light about my husband, because I had shared something about him on social media. So I chose this life of putting my life on social media, but he did not. He just married into it, so I don’t share his face. That wasn’t his choice, it just became an inside joke between us; we’re like, let’s just not show your face, and it just became kind of something funny, and how we’d do photos in a certain way so his face wasn’t shown.

So yeah, I just decided to keep him off, and I talked about this too in the past, but if I had kids I would do the same, because it’s their choice to be on social media and to put what they want out there. I don’t have to put something out there, and I don’t want it to come off like things are just perfect all the time, either. I don’t want to put on some kind of show for people to get followers or to get attention or for people to see me in a certain light. I just don’t want that. So that’s why I kind of kept him out of the limelight. My small limelight.

So that’s our love story, man! And I’ve had this question a lot, since we got married because people love this question; is when you’re going to have kids? And I’ve talked about this on my blog, but I’m going to do a podcast about it. Because having kids scares the f*cking sh*t out of me. There’s nothing scarier than a child. Nothing. Nothing. A child that is going to impact your life for the rest of your life. That’s pretty f*cking scary. Really f*cking scary. So, I think I’m going to do a podcast about that in a couple of weeks, because I think that subject is scary.

I mean, even today I was at the gym, and I made a bet. Because there are a couple of guys at the gym who always are like; “So when are you going to be pregnant? Are you pregnant?” because they know that kids are f*cking scary to me, so they like to make that joke all the time. And the owner of the gym just bet me that I will be pregnant by Thanksgiving next year. We bet $100 on it. And I’m going to f*cking hold that bet. I’m getting my $100; that is fo sure. This is a guy from New Zealand, I don’t know if I can trust him, but I’m going to get that f*cking money, because there is no way I’m going to have a child in this womb in a year. Or five years. But we’ll talk about that later.

So I wanted to talk about some marriage hacks. Because actually, I was on Girls Gone WOD podcast not long ago; just maybe a month ago, or something, and a couple of people asked some marriage hacks. Do you hear this jet flying over? I hear that jet.

Ok, so marriage hacks. I was like, I don’t even know what the hell a marriage hack means. And then I found a marriage hacks. So, with relationships, every relationship is so different. And I think one of the pitfalls of being a human being, is we compare ourselves to others. So we see a certain relationship, and how this relationship interacts, and we think that’s what our relationship should look like. And that’s not the case. Every single relationship is so different. I think you should want what is best for you, and we all have certain needs. But comparison, in any facet of life, is the enemy. Stay away from comparing yourself to people, and whatever.

Anyways, with our relationship, we’re not; maybe because I’m an only child, but I think I’m pretty independent. I like being by myself. My husband was just gone for 5 days, and I f*cking loved those 5 days by myself, watching whatever TV I wanted, going wherever I wanted, having no schedule. Didn’t have to make dinner for him; just doing what I wanted. Sure, I missed him for sure, but it’s always nice to have that independent time by yourself. But I know there are relationships out there that they do everything together, and they love that. And no, there’s no perfect relationship for anybody, you have to find kind of what works for you and what works for your lifestyle. But we definitely do stuff separate.

And I’ve talked about it before, but my husband works a lot. He works Monday through Saturday, and my job is constant, it’s all the time, it’s every; like the only time I’m not working is when I’m working out or when I’m eating dinner with my husband. And I’m still posting a picture on social media of my dinner. So, he understands that my job is kind of always on. But, in the summers, our relationship is so fun because we get to something we both love, and that’s out on the boat. He likes wake boarding, I like surfing. And we just get to be out together in a happy place. But then winter comes; and f*cking football comes on. F*cking football. I f*cking hate football. I don’t know why football gives me this deep, deep hatred pain within. Literally, make me watch baseball. I could watch baseball for a long time, and baseball is extremely boring. But I don’t feel that angry hatred. But football comes on; I hate my life. It’s crazy. I’ll just hear football, and I get this angry, fuming feeling. My ears get hot. It’s f*cking weird.

But, my husband, when we started dating, he was like; “Yeah, I don’t really watch football. My brother plays football in college,” or in high school at the time, and he’s like, “So I like going to his games, but I don’t really watch football.” So I was like, cool, I could marry this guy. And then what does he do? We get married, and then f*cking likes football. He’s the worst. So Sunday’s before in the summer we’re able to do stuff; and then winter comes along and he just wants to hang out on the couch and watch football and hang out with buddies sometimes. And I’m not all about that. I tried a couple of seasons, and I hated my life. So I was like, yeah, I’m not doing that.

So, I took on, instead of getting mad at him and getting in a fight because we’re not doing anything together. I just decided to do me on Sundays. So I do whatever I want on Sundays. I might go to the gym, I might go to brunch, I might go run errands, I might do a recipe. I do whatever I want. And if our worlds intertwine, cool. If not, I’m completely happy doing whatever I want to do. So that was my marriage hack, was doing exactly what you want to do. You have to remember that your time is important, and their time is important, but you can also love separate things. And he wants to watch football, and I do not, and I’m not going to get mad at him, like I have in the past, and I can just do other things that increase my happiness, or increase my dedication to my blog, if you will, because I’m getting recipes done. So that was my marriage hack, of findings things that you love when you’re doing stuff that you don’t love with him.

We’re not dating anymore; I don’t have to pretend that I love football. That f*cking show’s over! I didn’t have to do that because he didn’t watch football before, but you get it. So, I just do whatever I want to do. And it’s just so fun! So fun. And I wish more marriages would do that. And I’m sure they do. But don’t forget; marriage is forever. So you might as well have time apart, since you’re going to spend a lot of time together. Am I right, or am I right?

I wonder if I have any other marriage hacks. I still don’t really understand what “hacks” is. I cook dinner for my husband almost every single night, and once in a while I’ll get him to cook dinner. But that I something I do, and I try to make sure I always do it; cook dinner for him. I don’t think that’s a hack, but I think that’s a, “I try to do this because I know it’s important to him, and I want to feed him delicious food when he works his ass off every single day.” So yeah. That was a stupid one. I wish I could take that out. I wish I knew how to edit podcasts. When everybody’s like; “Should we take that part out?” I’m like, “How do you f*cking take something out?” I don’t know how to do that sh*t.

Anyway, I think I talked about everything I wanted to with our relationship. So I do believe in gym incest; gym-cest, if you will. I do believe in friendships turning into relationships; and I do believe that dating is f*cking awful, and don’t judge a book by its cover; and keep pushing because not all things are f*cking easy. Some things take a lot of f*cking work. And we worked at it, and things are really cool. And I love hanging out with my husband; which is why I don’t want to have kids, because they ruin everything. But don’t worry, I want to talk about that on another podcast, because that will light some fires under people’s asses. The baby topic is intense. That’s some intense sh*t.

Ok, that’s all I got today guys. So, next week, I’m going to be talking about how to eat healthy while traveling, because I know a lot of people are traveling for the holidays in November and December, visiting family and whatever else. And, just the other day at the gym, this guy was talking about; he’s like, “oh, I ate McDonald’s today, so this workout is going to be miserable.” I was like, “What do you mean you ate McDonald’s; you’re a f*cking grown man. Why?” And he was like, “You know, those crazy days where you just can’t find anything else, and that’s your best option?” He’s like, “I had a chicken sandwich, so it’s not the worst.” I was like, “No. No, that is disgusting. And no, I have not had that issue since I was a teenager.” Ok, wait, drunk in college. Still, I didn’t even eat McDonald’s when I was drunk in college. Taco Bell was my friend! But I have not had any of those moments since I was a drunk college chick; f*cking chick wandering home, lucky to be alive still.

So this guy told me he ate McDonald’s; and then this other one, this lovely guy, Walt, at the gym. I hope Walt listens to my podcast, because he’s a f*cking gem. But, he was like, “Come on Juli, I know you travel all the time, you don’t have those moments where you’re like; there’s nothing else to eat?” I’m like, “No, because I f*cking plan ahead, Walt! You don’t think I do my research on restaurants? OF course I do. And you know what, whenever I’m stuck, and I have nothing to eat; I get a f*cking nasty-ass salad, and I still eat that, and just do some lemon juice and olive oil.”

So, my point is, you can still eat healthy in the holidays while traveling, while being around people who maybe eat sh*tty, so we’re going to go over some ways to keep your sh*t on track and not go to f*cking McDonald’s; because that sh*t is nasty! No! That’s gross. So we’re going to be talking about that, and just how to stay motivated, too.

Oh; I hear a doggie coming! So we’re going to talk about staying motivated. Oh, he has his toy! How to stay motivated, how to eat clean. Dog! How to keep your sh*t together. We’re going to go over that. So stay tuned for that next week. And if you have anything you’d like for me to talk about on a podcast episode, feel free to send your advice; your tips; your trips; anything. I’d like to hear it all. So just head over to www.PaleOMG.com, because I hear that girl has some cool sh*t over there! Like recipes, tutorials, fashion items if you will. So head on over the www.PaleOMG.com. Leave your comment where ever you please; I see them all. Please don’t send me an email; because I suck at emails. I hate emails. I’ll answer back to a question on a comment way faster.

And if you like this podcast, please rate, review, and subscribe to PaleOMG Uncensored. I’m on iTunes and Stitcher. If you have any other podcast stations that you like to use; I don’t know anything podcast related, feel free to let me know and I’ll get it uploaded onto that, but I have no idea of any other podcast sites. But, please subscribe. If you hate this podcast, and you’re like; “Why the f*ck is she talking about her husband, I don’t give a sh*t about him.” Hey, feel free to keep your feelings to yourself. That would be wonderful. Thanks! So leave a positive comment, because I would kiss your face with positivity. I have to get going because the sun sets at 4:30 now and it’s 4:10 and I still have to get a food photo done for the day. So I gotta go! I’ll see you guys next week. Hugs and kisses; be amazing; stay motivated; kick some ass at life; and go kiss your dog right on the mouth! Ok, bye.