Paprika Parsnip Fries with Sriracha Dipping Sauce

You know those days where the cookie crumbles just a little bit and then it just keeps crumbling everywhere? No wait. Ok this will be a better analogy: You know when you break off part of a cookie and put the rest back in the wrapper to eat on another day? Then you keep going back to break off pieces, and before you know it, the entire cookie is gone (or cake if you’re feeling frisky). These analogies really aren’t coming together like I hoped they would. The point is, you know when things aren’t going your way and they keep building and getting worse? Well, that was my day yesterday.

In retrospect, it wasn’t that bad. But let’s be real, I’m a drama queen at heart. I make a big deal about everything. I’m an only child.

So, days aren’t going well lately. I’m just feeling sick so it makes it really hard to get motivated. I end up staying in my pajamas, not getting enough work done, and constantly watching the Fashion Police and hating Joan Rivers. I know she’s funny and all, but she’s so mean. You should only be mean to mean people. Believe me, I’m really good at being mean, but she’s goes too far. Moving on, I sometimes get the energy to do a load of laundry. But then I proceed to leave it in the dryer for 3 days until the clothes take on an odd smell. And wrinkles in my underwear. Who knew that was even possible. Not me.

Yesterday went exactly that way. I did do my hair and makeup because it was a rest day from the gym, but then I proceeded to curl up in a ball position on the couch. Jackson has been refusing to be my friend ever since I chopped his balls off, but he’s warming back up. He sat near my ball body. I got 1 load of laundry done. It’s still in the dryer.

But I did have to coach at the gym, so I grabbed Jackson, put him in the car and started heading out of my garage. Then Jackson threw up in the passenger seat. I let him come sit in my lap so he wouldn’t have to sit in his own bile, but then he threw up half on me, half on my seat. Then he was happy as a clam. Thankfully I had a towel to cover the puke up with while I drove. Kind of like sweeping dust under the rug. Now I absolutely HAVE to clean out my car.

I thought everything would be fine because it usually takes me about 8 minutes to get to the gym, so I would be early before I coached class and I could clean out my car. Then it took me 40 minutes to get there. I began shaking my steering wheel incessantly like a scene from Office Space. Being late to things gives me anxiety. And stress lines. Which gives me more anxiety. Dog vomit also gives me anxiety. Triple whammy, bro. So I got to the gym late, had a giant class to coach while pissed off, and had to yell a lot because there were about a bazillion people. I came off as a total bitch, but as we know by now, I am. So I guess I came off correctly.

But then my boyfriend made me dinner and everything was great. It’s the little things.

There’s still vomit in my car. F*ck.


Paprika Parsnip Fries with Sriracha Dipping Sauce

  • Yield: 4 1x


  • 3 large parsnips, ends removed, peeled and cut into fries
  • 3 tablespoons coconut oil or butter, melted
  • 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/4 cup Sir Kensington’s Sriracha Mayo
  • 2 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro


  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  2. Toss fries in oil along with paprika and salt.
  3. Place parsnip fries on a silpat lined baking sheet and bake for 25 minutes.
  4. Remove from oven, toss fries, turn oven up to 500 degrees then bake for 10 more minutes.
  5. Mix together mayo and cilantro.
  6. Eat fries with mayo dipping sauce. Boom.

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PaleOMG Paprika Parsnip Fries with Sriracha Dipping Sauce

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.


28 thoughts on “Paprika Parsnip Fries with Sriracha Dipping Sauce”

  1. I effing LOVE you. If it’s any consolation, I have a staph infection for no apparent reason, which they thought was MRSA (superbug staph) and prescribed a double dose of stupid-strong antibiotics for. Luckily that mistake got remedied, BUT…I also have bees in my apartment, the sole lightbulb in my kitchen burned out and it doesn’t say what the voltage/watts are so I can’t replace it properly, I have to work overtime this week, I can’t go to yoga to de-stress because my stupid staph arm is still too inflamed. FML.

    However, I found Whole30-compliant bacon to wrap avocado with and pan-fry, so that pretty much makes up for every shitty thing that has, is, or will ever happen.

  2. These look like they’re the perfect roasty crispness, awesome photos. I haven’t tried parsnips in a while, but they look like they’re screaming to be done up in duck fat.

  3. That awkward moment where Joan Rivers almost died this morning and is in the ICU. Not that I think that gives her a reason to be mean! Just funny timing haha

  4. I used beef tallow for the oil, and they came out crispy like real fries! If you can obtain humane/organic/hormone-free tallow, I highly recommend using it for this recipe!

  5. LOL! I was thinking the same thing about Joan Rivers nearly dying! (Oh. Wait. That’s wrong of me to put “LOL” next to a sentence about someone’s near death experience, right?) I’ve gotta tell ya, I was happy to read that the BF is still around. You mention him so little that I was worried we fell out of love with him. If he cooks, keep him. Put up with the little crap that you might not otherwise want to put up with. And if he’s hot…? Well then, that seals the deal. What more could you want? A hot man who cooks, a cute dog and a car with – um- puke in it. Sorry, no, that doesn’t fit… does it…? 😉

    1. haha he’s definitely still around! we share a dog and a place so we don’t plan on changing that anytime soon 🙂 over time, i just decided that his own life didn’t really belong in my blog that much. i feel uncomfortable when people boast their relationship too much, it seems like they’re covering something up. so i just keep him my little happy secret 🙂

  6. I never comment but I have to say I just adore you (aah hope that’s not creepy!). You make me laugh and smile and you share amazing food for me to enjoy. I know you have a lot of rude jerks that feel the need to share their annoying thoughts so I thought I’d balance that out with my annoying thoughts that aren’t rude. P.s. I also shake my steering wheel when I am late or stuck in traffic. I’m pretty sure it helps move traffic along…pretty sure.

  7. Damn girl. That was a shitty day. Hope today is better (it can only get better from there, right?). And those parsnip fries look delish. Sriracha mayo? Yes please!

  8. Great recipe for a snack…like most folks I enjoy your personal touch on the blog…it’s real life without any window dressing. Thank you for remaining true to yourself and the direction you are taking this blog. I have both your cookbooks and refer to them often. Have a great weekend!

    1. you can make your own mayo (i have a couple recipes on my blog). mayo is usually not paleo because of the oil used but this mayo that i linked using a paleo friendly oil

    2. Best and easiest paleo mayo ever: put into immersion stick blender beaker in this order…1 room temp egg, a little less than a cup of light tasting olive oil, half a lemon or less squeezed juice, s&p, put your stick blender to the bottom and don’t move it, blend for 20 seconds, you have paleo mayo!

  9. These are delish! I couldnt find Sir Kensington’s at my Whole Foods. So, I mixed organic mayo with Tessie Mae’s Southwestern Ranch. Perfection!

  10. I LOVED this! I had to tone down the Sir Kensingtons with some plain mayo 2:1, and then the color came out more like your picture and the spices were not so flame worthy. I also used butter and a bit of bacon fat as my oil. WOW! This is upscale bar food at its best, went great as an app during the football game.

  11. Omgreat! Thank you for showing me how to satisfy my craving for french fries! I have never even seen a parsnip as far as I knew, but I will be eating them regularly now! I couldn’t find the sriracha sauce but combined a chipotle mayo with red pepper sauce and it did the trick. I’m unable to rate from my phone, but you get another 5* from me!

  12. Love this recipe. I am always a little skeptical about baked fries because they usually turn out mushy rather than crispy. This recipe solves this problem and I was thrilled with the result. My husband is a picky eater and he even commented how good they are.

  13. what would be another alternative besides the sirrachi mayo to go with this? would it be tasty with no dipping sauce? I have a fresh bag of pasrnips and need new ideas 🙂

  14. This was delicious! The kids and hubby loved them! So much better than regular fries. Kids ate it with ketchup, but hubby and I ate it with the Sriracha Mayo.

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