I wish I had a blast chiller, Food Network Chopped style, so I could make this and eat this faster than you can say, “Holy poop, do you think Kim Kardashian is going to name her son South West?” Because I seriously love this dessert. It’s like a bazillion degrees out and the only thing that will make things more enjoyable is eating a chilled dessert every second of every day.

Wanna hear something disgusting? Of course you do. So when Jackson sits in your lap, he likes to inch his butt up higher and higher so he’s pretty much sitting on your shoulder on one point. It’s really weird. His intentions are to be closer to you, but what really happens is his butthole just gets closer to you. Haha, autocorrect just changed that to buttonhole, no no no autocorrect. I want the real deal word. So the other night, while playing dice, I let him sit on my lap and do the inching up game. Cool, whatevs, sit on my boob if you need to. All was cool until I put him down and looked down at my boob, to be winked back at by a poop stain. Jackson pooped stained my new coral shirt, right on my boob. Is this what it feels like to be a mom? You just end up with poop stains, or food stains, or milk stains, all in random places. BECAUSE I’M NOT INTO IT!!

Who here watches Game of Thrones? Who? Because I do and I just watched the season finale and am really unhappy with the outcome. I won’t say anything because I hate to be the spoiler alert, but I’ll say this, HOW COULD THAT HUMAN DIE?! That human was probably my favorite character. I have no idea why, but that human was. And now you’re telling me they are gone? What the what? Is this really how the book goes because I’m not trusting the author’s game plan right now.

Guess what boo boo? My book goes to print TOMORROW! It was suppose to go to print earlier, but we had to make sure some things were juuuust right so it’s been pushed off a little bit. But you know what’s even cooler? It’s exactly 2 months until it releases! That means it’s exactly two months until you can have a book with the same talkity-talk-talk as this blog, a book filled with over 100 never before seen PaleOMG original recipes, a book with tips and “my rules” to help keep you on track, a book that isn’t going to make you feel like Paleo is hard. I’ve put together a book with my favorite recipes I’ve ever come up with and I seriously cannot wait until August 18th is here, I start book tour, and I can share some of my favorite recipes with you. Be sure to check the blog tomorrow because I’m starting these 2 months until release off with a special giveaway and discount! And plan to keep these giveaways going to get you excited for my best cookbook yet! Yayyyyyy this is going to be so fun!! Now go make this dessert because it’s seriously so damn good on a hot day!

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Refreshing Watermelon Mint Granita

5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star

5 from 3 reviews

  • Yield: 6-8 1x

Ingredients

Scale
  • 1 cup water
  • 1/2 cup maple sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 4 cup diced seeded watermelon
  • zest of 1 lemon
  • juice of 1 lemon
  • 5 mint leaves, roughly torn

Instructions

  1. Place water, maple sugar, and vanilla extract in a small saucepan over medium heat and whisk until sugar has completely dissolved. Remove from heat.
  2. Place watermelon in a blender and blend until smooth.
  3. Then add the slightly cooled sugar mixture along with lemon zest, lemon juice, and mint leaves. Blend once more until smooth.
  4. Pour mixture into a 13×9 dish and into the freezer for 3+ hours or until set in the middle.
  5. Use a fork to scrape and shave into icy chunks.
  6. Serve immediately.

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PaleOMG Refreshing Watermelon Mint Granita

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24 Comments

  1. Lindsay says:

    1. I have a corgi. His name is Chester (cue up the chorus to “You Light Up My Life”). He is a snuggle freak and loves to sit on my fiance. Same thing happened – poop stain on the shirt. He instantly got nicknamed ‘Dung Stamper’ – House of Cards anyone?

    2. Game of Thrones – devastated. Completely devastated. And now we wait a year for Season 6.

    3. This recipe looks amaze!

    1. Jen says:

      Hilarious!

  2. Nora (A Clean Bake) says:

    I can’t decide if I am more excited for your book or for this amazing excuse to use up the sad, lonely watermelon languishing in my fridge right now. Um, can it be both!?!?

    1. juli says:

      yes!!! definitely both!

  3. Livi @ Eat, Pray, Work It Out says:

    yum! this looks like a delicious summer treat!

  4. Sarah says:

    OMG! I’m not the only one whose dog does that! Magee has poop stained my shirt too..and then I got the name Skidmark. Why me? He’s the one leaving the marks!

    This recipe looks awesome..can’t wait to try it!

  5. Emily says:

    Lol, yes, that is what it is like to be the parent of small humans. Luckily, they outgrow it pretty quickly. Mostly. I CANNOT WAIT for your cookbook.

  6. Meagan says:

    Your story about Jackson cracked me up! I have 2 pit bulls and I’ve had my share of gross (nothing worse than your poop stain experience though, sorry!) The day we brought Nutella home, she ran up to me and puked down my leg into my new shoes. Then not long ago, I was doing my makeup in the bathroom when B walked in, sat down on my bare foot, then immediately farted and walked off. Seriously, it’s one thing to smell it but it’s just insulting when you have to feel it too!

    Just bookmarked this recipe and can’t wait to try it. You always have recipes that both my husband and I can agree on and this looks like another one of those recipes. Thanks!

  7. Cathy says:

    Game of thrones: I am devastated! But I have the hope that the human will come around next season! Fingers crossed….

    1. juli says:

      me too! maybe that person will become a creature. or their certain friend will save them? idontknow, i JUST DON’T KNOW!

      1. Cathy says:

        Something like that!! But the worst part is that we have to wait a WHOLE YEAR to find out!! :-(( Super frustrating!

  8. Rebekah says:

    Juli…I am just gonna say it…you are one of my favorite people.

    That is all.

    🙂

  9. KariVery says:

    I love this idea, and I happen to have a gorgeous watermelon! I think it would make a great alcohol drink, too. I’m thinking rum, but I bet it’d be good with anything. Also, I vowed not to buy any more cookbooks this year, but you went and ruined that for me – can’t wait until it gets here!