Cauliflower is by far the most frustrating vegetable to work with. I might as well never clean the floors because there is going to be bits and pieces of that damn cauliflower everywhere I turn, every time I try to cut it. Am I just making excuses to why I don’t sweep the floor enough? Yeah. Definitely.

Ok, so people are freaking the eff out about this new iPhone software update. I don’t know why people are so upset. The only thing that has changed is how the text messages look. And where the control panel is. And how to search your phone. And how the weather looks on the screen. And the flashlight application. And the calendar. And how it shows me stocks. I don’t care about stocks. I should, shouldn’t I?

What I think that people should be complaining to Apple about is their damn headphones they give you when you purchase a phone. Hear me out. They have the most sophisticated phones in the world that can literally keep you sitting on your couch for hours, only being alerted by your own need to use the bathroom, but they can invent an ear phone that actually resembles an inner ear? Not even close. They give you head phones that are round and flat and fit into your ear worse than popcorn. Truly. I’d rather shove popcorn in my ear than their headphones. Popcorn wouldn’t be nearly as painful. If I’m going to pay for a phone that cost like, a kagillion dollars, I’m expecting headphones that mold to my ear and make love to it. But no, just pain. I guess I bought the phone anyways, so I’m just annoying at this point.

So I finally got snap chat. I gave in. I’ve always judged people for having it. Mostly because a certain someone I know that has it, gets dirty pictures on it. You dirty girls, you. And well, I don’t want to be that girl. And I definitely don’t want to receive dirty snap chats. Guys’ selfies in the mirror are never that interesting. But my friend sent me a snap chat of him dipping a cinnamon roll in frosting the other day, so I instantly downloaded it. Food porn is always worth the 10 second download. But now I don’t really know what to do with it. I’m not into it yet.

I don’t know what kind of animal is outside of my room, but it sounds like a mix between a squirrel and chicken. Picture that ugly b*tch.

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Simple Creamy Cauliflower and Artichoke Soup

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4.9 from 20 reviews

  • Yield: 2 1x


  • 2 cups cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 12 cups vegetable stock (depending how thin or thick you want the soup)
  • 1/2 cup artichoke hearts (I bought canned artichoke hearts)
  • 1 tablespoon fresh basil, minced
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 12 cup shredded chicken, to garnish (I shredded a rotisserie chicken to make it easy)
  • 1/2 cup cooked bacon, roughly chopped, to garnish
  • olive oil, to garnish
  • hot sauce, to garnish


  1. Steam 2 cups of cauliflower florets until soft.
  2. Place cauliflower in a Blendtec along with vegetable stock and puree until smooth using the soup button. If you do not have a Blendtec, use a food processor or blender.
  3. Add artichoke hearts, basil, and and a bit of salt and pepper. Puree once more to incorporate all ingredients.
  4. Cook bacon to preference then roughly chop it. I shredded a rotisserie chicken to make it easier.
  5. Place soup in a bowl, top with shredded chicken and bacon and add a few drops of olive oil and hot sauce on top of the soup.
  6. I found the best way to eat it was to mix it all up in a bowl mash. Wonderful.

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  1. Beth says:

    Juli, I am doing the 21 DSD and hope to follow a Paleo diet after that, and I have to say that finding your blog made me soooooo happy! You have posted so many delicious-looking recipes and your blog entries are really entertaining! I made this cauliflower and artichoke soup last weekend and it was fantastic! Can’t wait to try all the rest!!!

  2. Jan says:

    After a cold autumn evening, this is just the type of meal we needed to warm us up!

  3. Lynne says:

    So I know is recipe is “older,” but damn is it good! Had a ton of frozen cauliflower I wanted to use up, so I roasted it in the oven with onion. Put a chicken breast with broth in the slow cooker. Blended the cauliflower, broth, and veggies. Added garlic, shredded chicken, and bacon. SO STINKING GOOD! Hits the spot on cold days for sure. Thank you!!!!

  4. Wendy says:

    Thanks for giving me a way to consume the overcooked artichokes my family was running from (Instant Pot fail). I used the hearts and scraped both ends of the leaves with a spoon. Worked great.