Cauliflower is by far the most frustrating vegetable to work with. I might as well never clean the floors because there is going to be bits and pieces of that damn cauliflower everywhere I turn, every time I try to cut it. Am I just making excuses to why I don’t sweep the floor enough? Yeah. Definitely.

Ok, so people are freaking the eff out about this new iPhone software update. I don’t know why people are so upset. The only thing that has changed is how the text messages look. And where the control panel is. And how to search your phone. And how the weather looks on the screen. And the flashlight application. And the calendar. And how it shows me stocks. I don’t care about stocks. I should, shouldn’t I?

What I think that people should be complaining to Apple about is their damn headphones they give you when you purchase a phone. Hear me out. They have the most sophisticated phones in the world that can literally keep you sitting on your couch for hours, only being alerted by your own need to use the bathroom, but they can invent an ear phone that actually resembles an inner ear? Not even close. They give you head phones that are round and flat and fit into your ear worse than popcorn. Truly. I’d rather shove popcorn in my ear than their headphones. Popcorn wouldn’t be nearly as painful. If I’m going to pay for a phone that cost like, a kagillion dollars, I’m expecting headphones that mold to my ear and make love to it. But no, just pain. I guess I bought the phone anyways, so I’m just annoying at this point.

So I finally got snap chat. I gave in. I’ve always judged people for having it. Mostly because a certain someone I know that has it, gets dirty pictures on it. You dirty girls, you. And well, I don’t want to be that girl. And I definitely don’t want to receive dirty snap chats. Guys’ selfies in the mirror are never that interesting. But my friend sent me a snap chat of him dipping a cinnamon roll in frosting the other day, so I instantly downloaded it. Food porn is always worth the 10 second download. But now I don’t really know what to do with it. I’m not into it yet.

I don’t know what kind of animal is outside of my room, but it sounds like a mix between a squirrel and chicken. Picture that ugly b*tch.

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Simple Creamy Cauliflower and Artichoke Soup

5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star

4.9 from 20 reviews

  • Yield: 2 1x


  • 2 cups cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 12 cups vegetable stock (depending how thin or thick you want the soup)
  • 1/2 cup artichoke hearts (I bought canned artichoke hearts)
  • 1 tablespoon fresh basil, minced
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 12 cup shredded chicken, to garnish (I shredded a rotisserie chicken to make it easy)
  • 1/2 cup cooked bacon, roughly chopped, to garnish
  • olive oil, to garnish
  • hot sauce, to garnish


  1. Steam 2 cups of cauliflower florets until soft.
  2. Place cauliflower in a Blendtec along with vegetable stock and puree until smooth using the soup button. If you do not have a Blendtec, use a food processor or blender.
  3. Add artichoke hearts, basil, and and a bit of salt and pepper. Puree once more to incorporate all ingredients.
  4. Cook bacon to preference then roughly chop it. I shredded a rotisserie chicken to make it easier.
  5. Place soup in a bowl, top with shredded chicken and bacon and add a few drops of olive oil and hot sauce on top of the soup.
  6. I found the best way to eat it was to mix it all up in a bowl mash. Wonderful.

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  1. Kristen says:

    I’m eating this right now & it’s delish! Instead of getting out the steamer & blender, I just tossed everything (except the “toppings”) into a pot, simmered it until the cauli was cooked thorugh & then let my immersion blender do the heavy lifting. My husband called it lazy. I called it genius.

  2. Kelly says:

    I just made this tonight and I added some onion and Franks Red Hot. Pretty flipping good.

  3. Sarah says:

    So I just made this on Monday to have for the week. Just getting to taste it today for my work lunch. It tastes like a soup special you’d get from a fancy restaurant. It is amazing! (not surprisingly, as your recipes typically are!)

  4. KCole says:

    My family LOVED this cauliflower soup…even my 18mo. old daughter…Thank you!!!

  5. Monica says:

    OMG!!! This soup is absolutely AMAZING!! It was extremely fast, flavorful, and easy! I added sun dried tomatoes….which added a little extra bold flavor! Can’t wait to make again! So good!!

  6. Jessica Romeo says:

    OMG yes the cauliflower is always on the damn floor and when you try to clean it up off the counter forget it. I just made a cauliflower soup today and posted it to my blog, this one looks fantastic I must try it. As far as snapchat goes I totally get it, I am constantly sending out foodporn chats to my closest peeps! Love it 🙂

  7. Sarah says:

    You just saved me. This cauliflower soup was amazing and fill the bill for the old 10 day detox diet I’m on. Used chicken stock and added a little olive oil. Super duper effing good! When’s your cookbook coming out again? Not soon enough!

  8. Christy Honeycutt says:

    Oh Em Ghee!!! My family went nuts over this and that includes 14 & 18 year old boys who like salad drenched in Ranch and that’s about it. I added smoked paprika and some additional roasted cauliflower from the night before. Sprinkled bacon and Frank’s hot sauce on top. Delish!! This goes in one of our many regular dishes from your site. We love so many of them!

  9. Melissa Daly says:

    Holy Head of Cauliflower Batman…this recipe rocks the house. Was searching the internet to find a Paleo recipe for a rainy afternoon after a morning run and this was PERFECT…Your recipes never disappoint and I look forward to using them as I train for multiple endurance running races 🙂 Thanks!!

  10. Krista says:

    I am REALLY excited to make this. I recently figured out I am allergic to dairy (not lactose intolerant), good news is that means I don’t have asthma or acid reflux. Bad new is, I LOVE milk, cheese, creamy foods, you name it. This has got to be good with the bacon and chicken!