Ummmmmm to the people who said changing your name isn’t a pain the ass, YOU’RE A LIAR. Straight up. It is a complete pain. And it takes so much effing time. I keep hearing, “Oh, I just took an entire day off work to get it done.” Well, I work for myself. So when I take time off, I’m actually losing money since I’m not working. No PTO for me! After using a website a friend told me about and getting 43% done, I had to take a break and walk away. And I haven’t gone back to it in over 5 days. It does all your bank, mortgage, IRS, SS, etc. etc. etc. paperwork but it never ends. I ended up getting so annoyed that my husband didn’t have to do anything and I found myself mad at him for no reason. Especially since I said I wanted to change my name. I want to take his name, but I don’t want to take the steps to get there. I will, but I will b*tch every second along the way. That’s totally normal, right? Going with yes.
So far, being married has been completely the same as just being in a relationship. Except now we have to review big purchases with each other. But other than that, nothing is different. Oh wait, I’m also asked 7 times per day when we are having kids. EVERYONE asks us that. Us meaning me. I think it’s just a conversation starter for people who can’t think of anything better to talk about me, but for me, it’s an awkward topic. I don’t feel the need for children, at all, but then when I hear people talk about it constantly, it gives me anxiety that I SHOULD feel the need to have children. So it’s this constant internal battle of figuring out what is right for US instead of what society is telling us.
The children stuff just really freaks me out. We are at the first point in our lives that we can save money, we can go on little trips together, we can go out late or sleep in or be hungover. We can do whatever we want to do and giving that up is just way too scary at this point. Please don’t tell me that it’s totally worth it. I get it. I’m sure it is. But going on a trip to New Zealand on a whim is way more worth it to me at this point. I don’t know if that feeling will ever change. What I know definitely won’t ever change is the look on people’s faces when they ask me about kids and I say “EW”. That look is priceless.
Speaking of priceless, GUESS WHAT?! I got a belated wedding gift from a friend recently and it’s something I’ve ALWAYS wanted. Always but never pulled the trigger…a Kitchen Aid Mixer! Squeeeeeeeee! I have most kitchen toys, but I just could never bring myself to put down the money for a mixer. And she just bought me a teal one that matches the cover of my third cookbook! I die. I love it so much! But now I have to figure out what to make first in it. I think it will be cupcakes…because cupcakes. What’s your favorite thing to make in your mixer? Tell me stuff, inspire me, give me ideas! I need you, amazing readers!!!
Have you guys tried Pacific Foods Bone Broth yet? The ingredients are crazy simple, only using water, chicken, onion, cider vinegar and rosemary extract! So instead of having to boil your ingredients to build your stock (especially on a hot summer day), all you have to do is add Pacific Foods Bone Broth to any recipe for a healthy and delicious flavor. They also have a turkey broth AND broths with added flavors such as lemongrass or ginger! The broth even has 9 grams of protein per serving so you’re feeling fuller longer with the help of this broth!
Simple Summer Squash Soup
- Yield: 4-6 1x
Ingredients
- 3 tablespoons ghee
- 1 sweet onion, minced
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 2 zucchinis, chopped
- 2 yellow squash, chopped
- 32 fluid ounces Pacific Foods Chicken Bone Broth
- 1 teaspoon dried thyme
- 1 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1 teaspoon dried rosemary
- 1 teaspoon salt
- juice of half a lemon
- handful of parsley + extra for garnish
- olive oil, to garnish
Instructions
- Place a large dutch oven over medium heat. Add ghee along with onion, garlic, zucchini and squash and let cook for about 10-12 minutes, until onion is translucent.
- Then add bone broth, thyme, oregano, rosemary, and salt, cover and let cook for 20-25 minutes, until zucchini and squash are fork tender.
- Remove from heat to let cool before transferring to a high speed blender. Add lemon juice and a small handful of parsley to the pot to mix. Then once slightly cooled, pour half the soup mixture into a blender and blend until smooth. (I used my Blendtec and turned it on the soup setting to get it completely smooth.) Blend the other half of the soup mixture as well.
- Garnish with parsley leaves and olive oil!
In Partnership With:
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More Of My Favorite Soups:
Creamy Cauliflower Shrimp Chowder
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I get that question a lot and I’m 32. My fiancé and I have no problem with not wanting children. I feel the same way you do, Julie. At this point I think I should know if I do want them, I am a grown adult and I hate when people give me that “look” like I’m a monster. Just like you said, at this point in life, I’m happier thinking about what trip I can save for, etc. than thinking about children. I’m happy with being an aunt! I think it’s a society thing. There are “steps” you are supposed to follow once you grow up. I say BS. Do whatever makes you happy! 🙂 This soup looks amazing! I really want to make the Creamy Cauliflower Shrimp Chowder you posted as well. Yes please!
People need to mind their own damn business. If you know you don’t want kids then good for you. I do have kids but the commentary never ends. You have one and people tell you how to parent then want to know when you are having another one. I have all boys so people want to know if we are going to try for a girl. Just everyone mind your business.
I don’t know how creepy it is that I refer you to as my online would-be BFF (probably pretty creepy), but goddamn I feel like you’re just in my head sometimes. How I wish you lived in Austin so there was at least a (probably more unlikely that I’d like to believe) possibility of a real life friendship! =D
I feel probably pretty similarly about kids, except that I came from a long-held belief that I didn’t want them at all, until my current fiance who does. We had a long delay before getting engaged while we took time to figure out whether: a) I could actually be happy with kids or b) he could actually be happy without. I’m still undecided but turns out he decided he’ll just have to be OK with it if that turns out to be my decision. His mom, of course, already asked when we were having kids (and we just got engaged a month ago)!
The most eerie part about your post is that we DID actually just get back from an on-a-whim trip from New Zealand! Ha. And it’s totally, totally worth it. I figured there are very few times in life you get an opportunity to take three weeks away, and I’m so so so glad we did. I know you were looking for travel recs recently (although I also know you mentioned a thing about flying), but if you’re willing to make the trip out there, I highly recommend you do!
And also, we literally just had the conversation yesterday where he said he didn’t care much if I took his name and I told him I’m probably too lazy to do it, so I won’t. =D But then we half joked that it would at least be fair if we BOTH changed it.
Let me say this: listen to your gut instinct. It will absolutely tell you if having children is right for you. If you don’t want kids, don’t have kids. Period. End of sentence. It’s not right for everybody. I can also speak from experience that having kids doesn’t make you a “kid-person” all of a sudden. I have one child, whom I love dearly, but I wish I had listened to my gut instead of doing what you’re “supposed” to do and have kids. I was always ambivalent about having kids, leaning more toward the not-having-any side, but my husband wanted kids, so we had a child. As I said, I love him dearly, but I wish I had believed that not having kids was an acceptable life choice.
This soup looks bomb and I’m excited to try it … realized I have everything at home to make it! Yay! I get the kid question and it sucks. I’m not even married…hell, I don’t even have a boyfriend and I get the question. I’m 36, never married, no kids and no big plans on getting knocked up just to have one (sorry mom). Most of my friends do and I have nieces which is cool by me. I get to be the fun aunt…and sleep in, go to dinner on a Wednesday if I want, make my own schedule … do whatever I want! That’s not an awful thing…but then Iet these sympathetic looks when I say I may never have kids. Ummm…sorry that hurts your feelings and you think I have failed at life? I see it totally different. I have a really great life and there is more to life than having kids. I would never say never, but right now, I don’t think having a child is the best idea ever for me. Maybe if I met a guy who knocked my socks off and added so much more to my life and I thought he would be the best dad ever, then, maybe 1. But that question of kids is annoying … just do you or turn it back on them….are you having more kids? Why not? Some people have more … just keep asking til they walk away lol. 🙂
Not worth it at all – not yet atleast but you already know that :). Life has its phases and your current phase in life is to be enjoyed exactly the way you are hoping to.
Your soup looks great!
We also used to get the kids question all the time. The side comments bothered me.
The best was “why are you married if you’re not having kids yet?” (um, because I love him?)
A financial goal I had was to purchase a SUV for my next car. When I did, everyone thought I was pregnant. I was not. A few years later I got pregnant, my son is now a year old. I kept the SUV at first but recently traded it for a car. Well then I got comments like “you got the SUV with no kids and now you have kids and get a car. It makes no sense” (um, saving money makes sense! And who asked you?!)
And, on my Sony first birthday, my father in law said “happy 1st birthday to my grandson. He should be 10 years old.” (Meaning, we should have had him 10 years ago) ????????????
We just brushed everyone off though. It’s our life!
I got married in April too and have been putting off changing my name. We also started getting the baby question and I’m somewhat older so they are so kind to remind me that as well. The best thing I’ve ever heard in relation to this was someone with kids asking someone without them if they regret not having kids. The person said to them ‘Do you regret having them?’ It was pretty funny. And a legitimate question.
I feel the same way about kids…my husband and I have been married for almost 3 years now. The first year I was getting that question from EVERYONE..then I decided to post a picture meme on my social media of Madea (from the move-Madea’s Family Reunion) holding a gun with the words “ask me one more time when we’re having kids”…shortly after that post the baby questions stopped 🙂 I send it in a text every now and again when someone is getting out of hand with trying to push babies on me. Maybe give that a try lol.
It took me TWO freaking years to change my name! And I still get bills in my maiden name. It’s a monstrous pain in the ass and I swear I will die still not having my name changed on some things. Stupid.