Something I’ve decided I wanted to be more vocal about this year is alcohol (you can listen to more of my thoughts in this podcast episode). And that’s because I rarely ever see alcohol consumption questioned…honestly it’s glorified in our society. We use alcohol to celebrate, mourn, unwind, and we even use alcohol to find courage. It’s in our movies, tv shows, music, and social media. It surrounds us and teaches us from an early age that alcohol should be part of our weekly routine. And I noticed this more than ever in 2020. People created memes, reels, stories, and pages all dedicated to drinking because 2020 sucked so damn bad. I would watch person after person create social media content of them reaching for a wine bottle after each devastating blow hit the media in 2020. And using alcohol as a coping mechanism became this ongoing joke between everyone going through the 2020 trauma together, almost uniting everyone in their pain.
But for me, it made me angry. Much of our learning and understanding of the world comes from social media these days, whether we like that or not. So when we show our peers that we are using alcohol as a coping mechanism during a stressful time, we are showing those people that it is a normal to combat our anxiety and depression by consuming something that is quite literally a depressant. Think about that for a second. Alcohol slows down brain functioning and neural activity, which means the more you drink it, the more you dull the senses, which is why people drink during times of stress. But as the alcohol wears off and the hangover sets in, anxiety and depression come back even more heightened than before. And people seem to ignore this and continue to follow the same behavior over and over again, causing more and more issues.
I want to share my thoughts on alcohol not to vilify it, but to hopefully help others question what they are turning to alcohol for. You’ll see many moms on social media with their drinks that say “Mommy’s Juice” and they are drinking by 11am with moms rallying behind them in the comments. Or you’ll see a group of friends take a friend out to drink all night long to cope with their recent break up (been there). But what about REAL coping mechanisms? What about looking deeper at what we are going through, what we can and cannot control, and what steps we can take to keep our bodies healthy during times of stress? Instead of drinking, how about making a nutritious meal? Instead of cocktails, how about going on a walk? Instead of wine, how about meditation?
But I get it – none of these things are sexy…or easy. Telling someone to exercise to keep their mood high isn’t as sexy as telling someone to pour a glass of pinot. It’s just not. And we like sexy. But I’m here to be the black sheep of society and tell you the opposite of what everyone else seems to be shouting – alcohol is terrible for you. You can come at me with all your “wine has antioxidants” bullshit and I will let you know that LOTS of clean foods do, too. And those clean foods won’t lead you to feeling even more depressed than before. Those foods will actually lead you to creating a healthier gut which may even help with your anxiety and depression. (And by the way, I’m not a doctor or a medical professional so you obviously don’t need to listen to me, but if any of your medical professionals are telling you to drink alcohol to help you cope with your issues, you should probably drop them, as well.)
I feel very strong about this topic because I have been the person for years and years who has been made fun of for not drinking. When I began competing in CrossFit at 23 years old, alcohol didn’t fit into my goals. Sure, I would drink from time to time, but I found myself feeling lazy, lethargic, and had extreme anxiety for days afterwards. Not only did it impede my goals in the gym, but it slowed down my progress when it came to my small business. So I stopped my random alcohol binges and stood strong when I would get peer pressured to drink. Leaving behind those drunk nights didn’t lead me to feeling FOMO or loss, it led to more confidence, better performance in the gym, more happiness, better productivity, and a more successful business.
And just FYI, I’m not sober. I had half a glass of prosecco at dinner the other night and a margarita a couple weeks ago. And no, I’ve never dealt with alcoholism in my family or even with my friends. I just want to be the person who makes you look deeper at your choices, just like I hope others would do for me. And believe me, with my blog, PEOPLE DO. I want to be the voice that shares a different idea than the narrative that is so commonly shared on social media these days. I want to be the person who tells you that it is OK to not drink when everyone else is drinking around you. I want to tell you that it is OK to feel like you’re the outsider. And that it is OK to deal with stress and anxiety through healthy coping mechanisms. I want you to know that you are not alone when you choose to not drink.
I wanted to share this post and talk more openly about not drinking/limiting alcohol because I hope that me sharing this makes you look more at your own alcohol consumption, how it affects you, and how it may affect your friends and family. Is it truly benefiting you and the people around you? Is it making you more active and more productive? Is it keeping your anxiety at bay when the world feels completely upside down? For me personally, alcohol does none of these things. It makes me feel worse off than I did in the first place. And even though I’m looked at like the boring one at events or gatherings, I don’t care because I know that not drinking will lead me to a healthier and happier life long term. I hope sharing my own experience helps you find your own healthy balance with alcohol or at least helps you feel like less of an outsider when you decide to not drink. But most of all, I hope that this post makes you look deeper at your own coping mechanisms and helps you look at dealing with stress in a whole new way. Alcohol has its time and place, but it shouldn’t be used to numb the world around us. Life is way too beautiful to not see it for all it is…even in 2020.
YES YES YES!!! We’ve been DUPED by society to think alcohol is the magic elixir to improve confidence, sex appeal, and status, when in reality it gives you none of those things and usually strips away your confidence, sex drive and wits. Alcohol is ALL around us in culture, and we need to start examining why. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am reading “This Naked Mind” currently and it’s shed SO much light on the cultural and societal issues with alcohol, and also how just BAD alcohol is for your brain. Literal carcinogen. Ew.
Thanks for writing this. I wish MORE people talked about this, so that we can begin to normalize it. I too was so annoyed with all the quarantine memes glorifying drinking at 9 am. Nothing wrong with drinking (my family is European, wine is a big part of our life culturally), but we all go through some shit, and we all need coping mechanisms. There are ones that exist that don’t involve wine.
I haven’t been a big drinker for almost a decade, simply because I don’t want to sometimes. My hangovers are terrible – they last 2 days and just impede me from being a productive member of society. I work in an industry that is very focused on “taking clients out for drinks” or “company happy hours”. I hate that when I say I am not drinking, I have to have a reason when people ask why not. “Because I don’t feel like it” or ” I don’t want to today” is A VERY VALID answer. You do not need to fill in the void with an “excuse” or a “reason”. You can drink when you want/ it’s worth it to you (ex champagne at a wedding, nice dinner out with a place known for cool cocktails), and not when you don’t want to (bar for a friends’ bday). Those that make you feel bad about it are projecting their own shit on to you, and the ones that do matter shouldn’t care. Our culture is so weird, on nights I do feel like having a glass of wine people around me get so excited like “yay you’re drinking today!”. Why is that something to celebrate – like all of a sudden I will be more fun?
I also want to normalize that just because you don’t drink doesn’t mean you can’t be social – I do go out with clients, I do go to company parties and out with friends. I just choose not to drink in most of those scenarios. I can have fun without drinking! Maybe it means I peace out early and don’t make it to the after party, but I wake up the next day and am very happy with that decision. A tip for anyone who wants to make it easier (especially with clients because the last thing you want is to make THEM feel awkward or bad.. it’s different than with family friends ), I try and get there early and order a club soda with lime (or discreetly order it). If I have it in my hand all night, there’s no conversation and I can focus on what I am there to do – bond with my clients!
YES! Thank you for bringing up the fact that having even MORE anxiety the next day or following days isn’t just a coincidence. I realized that after getting more than a little tiny happy buzz I would end up waking up SUPER early the next morning with heart palpitations and intense anxiety that stretched far beyond a hangover. As a daughter of an alcoholic it’s hard for me to jump on board with the whole “Mommy Juice” concept, and I am also a mom. A mom that has really hard fucking days but I also know what it’s like to watch your parent drink in excess everyday of your life. Thank you thank you thank you.
PS I still indulge in a glass of wine every now and then, not bashing people who drink but I am calling out the people who glorify drinking every day.
exactly! i have no problem with people drinking, all my friends like to drink. but i have a problem with pushing alcohol on others to make themselves feel better in that moment. live and let live, while being aware of how alcohol makes you feel long term
Love this post and the fact that you’re bringing light to topics that aren’t “popular” right now, but definitely should be. Alcohol is not a coping mechanism. Also, I feel like so many of us can’t be comfortable in a social situation without drinking (I know I’ve been there). And that’s ridiculous!
Good for you, Juli. It’s not about shaming people, but offering insight. I also like that you are open about adjusting your lifestyle from strict paleo diet and CrossFit. Life is a journey and the road is not straight!!
I haven’t quit drinking entirely, but my alcohol consumption has slowed dramatically. It’s more important for me to be able to get up early feeling sharp than to have a drink every night. I rarely drink more than a glass of wine in a setting, two max. And, if I do have that second glass, I rarely get a good night’s sleep and also suffer from major anxiety, thoughts racing, etc. It hardly seems worth it anymore. That being said, I still enjoy that first glass, just not every night or even most nights, as a way to be social and relax and because I actually enjoy the taste. I no longer drink beer or anything I don’t actually like purely for the sake of drinking.
awesome! that’s great, Jillian!
I would really love to hear your take on this article:
https://psmag.com/social-justice/truth-wont-admit-drinking-healthy-87891
I’ve been slowly coming around to the idea of just not drinking at all anymore. Or just really limiting how much I drink because I hate how tired alcohol makes me and I don’t believe it is healthy. But, I saw that article the other day on Mark’s Daily Apple and I’m just wondering if it’s based on any sound science at all. It honestly sounds more like what the author wishes were true than what actually is true.