A Valentine’s Day Story

Disclaimer: This is not a happy-go-lucky Valentine’s Day story. It’s me calling a douche bag out.

It is Valentine’s Day. Oh yes it is. A day that was pulled out of someone’s ass, most likely a person in love, to make the economy thrive for only but a day, strictly based on the purchases of flowers alone. It’s a day created around jewelry, roses, candy, sex, lust, lingerie, dinners, desserts..blah blah blah. A day that some look forward to so much while others are in absolute fear of it. I must take the latter. But that’s because I’m single and have no dinner date on my horizon. I’ve replaced love with a barbell. So much easier to deal with than a boyfriend.

Instead I will be watching Twilight Breaking Dawn with my roomies tonight on this cold Valentine’s Day. It’s always nice living with other single girls. Then we can b*tch about men…or our lack of, talk about how being single is so awesome, all while consuming too much chocolate. In the reality of things, we will actually be yearning for a make out session from a guy who just took us out to dinner, wishing that someone had sent us a Valentine, while actually just harboring our depression through eating copious amounts of dark chocolate walnuts. Ok, let’s be real, I’m talking about myself.

Ok, I’m being a bit over the top. Let’s just jump to the story because it’s a beauty.

So around this time last year, I was dating a Max M. He seemed like the perfect guy. We would go out to lunch almost every day, he would take me to fancy dinners, we would workout on Sundays then run to brunch downtown…everything I thought I wanted in a guy, he was it. He called me his girlfriend, told me he was falling for me, and said I was the perfect girl for him. Ha, what a f*ck.

On Valentine’s Day last year, he told me he had to take a business trip to Arizona. He said he was always having to travel for work and since he works for a big, well known company, I never thought anything of it. So when he got back from his “1.5 day trip to Arizona” we went out to a great dinner on Feb. 15th at the incredibly delicious d Bar. I was happy as ever. I mean, I did get to have bacon wrapped dates at dinner. Why wouldn’t I be happy?

Well, I stuck around with this guy until about April. He called me his girlfriend (even to one of his ex girlfriends), met my dad, I met his brother…all the jazz that goes along with a relationship, but I started to feel weird about things. He would show up to things 1-2 hours late, tell me we were going to do something then cancel last minute…so I ended it. He made me feel insecure about myself and I couldn’t figure out why. So I just broke it off with him. Anyone who makes you feel insecure about youself is a f*ck tard. Plain and simple.

This is where the fun starts, though. Through the wonderful world of social media, I received a friend request from a girl on Facebook that had her profile picture with the one and only Max M. I wrote her, telling her I wasn’t sure why Max’s new girlfriend was adding me on FB, but I didn’t want to accept her for that reason, nothing against her. Well, turns out she had been Max M.’s girlfriend for the past 9 months. You do the math.

So this grown man had been buying gifts for 2 women, talking on the phone daily to 2 women, texting 2 women, emailing 2 women, all while telling both of us he could see himself marrying us one day. Well Max M., I’m not sure where you were raised, but you’re not allowed to marry 2 women in the state of Colorado. Weird, I know. But it’s the truth.

So this dude would hang out with me on his lunch hour or work out with me at night, then go home to his actual girlfriend. He would take her on vacations while he told me he was either leaving for business or going somewhere with his family, all while keeping me on the side with me knowing NOTHING. What a tool. This guy thought he was God. Straight up. Thought he could have his cake and eat it to.

Well that’s a long story, I know. But that’s not even half the sh*t I found out about the tool. Wicked cool story if you ask me. I felt like I was in a daytime drama. Without as good of looking people…meaning him.

The moral of the story is…if you are celebrating Valentine’s Day with an amazing person this evening, cherish it. Be proud to be with someone who cares enough about you to play along with the bullsh*t of Valentine’s Day. Whether that means they wrote you a card, sent you flowers, or just told you they loved you, you mean something to them. Tonight, I will not be thinking of a bro, especially if he says he has a business trip. Instead I will be spending it with the people I love. My best friend Laura and my girlfriend Steph. Chocolate in tow. Twilight on the tube, making me wish I knew a vampire.

Embrace the single life. Embrace the barbell. Embrace the chocolate.

That should be my new slogan. Kthanksforreadingbye.

Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.


92 thoughts on “A Valentine’s Day Story”

  1. Ohhh no that sucks, some men are filth!!

    But as your slogan goes….
    CrossFit sesh today (check)
    Crazy Stupid Love DVD (check)
    and for a V day present to me…
    New Speed Rope & Protein Powder!!

    Happy V Day =)

  2. Juli,

    Your recipes and blog rocks.

    It makes no sense that you don’t have a date for Valentines…

    Keep up the great work and thank you.


  3. Gurrrrl, you just basically told the story of my last relationship ~ which was like 8 years ago cos I’ve had my fill thank you. Most telling was you saying you felt something was wrong. I too, KNEW this fool was cheating but I was all obsessed and sh*t over this asshole and tried to make myself believe it was all good. Much much much better to be single than tangled up with a liar! Someone once told me “Men will pat you on the ass, but your girlfriends will save your ass.” Celebrate your girlfriends! And tell us how you like Breaking Dawn ~ I’m a total Twi-Hard Grandma and not ashamed of the fact! Happy VD Miss J :~.D

    1. Isn’t it crazy how much our gut actually knows. It knows when men are douches and when chocolate is needed. I love my gut. Have a great night Becky, hopefully you get to twi hard it up!

  4. Oh honey….we’ve all had those guys. And they are douche bags. But seriously, V Day is a day dedicated to love and chocolate. Nothing wrong with that, even for single girls. Enjoy your awesome evening with your girlfriends!! It sounds like a lot of fun.

  5. Dude. My last Valentines Day was the SAME THING. Except, I contacted HER on FB. Its amazing these a$$holes would even want to put up with two women!! Love your blog, you have been feeding me for months. Without it I would only eat lunch meat and water.

  6. I hear you! I’ve been there with a d-bag news reporter who was with me AND my and my good friend at the same time. Talk about crazy. Some men are sly little devils. But, on the bright side, you learned so much from that experience! You seem like a fab woman and any man would be lucky to have you!

    AND, I’ve been happily dating the love of my life, Matt, who’s an avid CrossFitter and Paleo geek like me for nearly 8 months. I couldn’t ask for anything better.

    Overall, people, even the douchiest, come into our lives for a reason. Just have to embrace that fact!

    P.S. I made those sweet potato brownies for my man tonight. He’s gonna die. Those are FABULOUS.

  7. I’ve replaced love with a barbell. So much easier to deal with than a boyfriend

    Story of my life. Thank-you for putting it in two sentences! I will be celebrating Valentine’s Day with sore muscles from last night and a 4 or 5 mile run.

  8. I had the exact same thing happen. 9 months worth. Split his time down the middle and fooled us both…for awhile. She took him back and eventually married him. I haven’t spoken to him since. Fingers crossed that one day a good one comes along! =)

    In the mean time, CrossFit is my boyfriend.

    Embrace the barbell.

    1. F*ckin guys. Well I’ll have to let you know who he is Tiff since he is pretty close to you and I wouldn’t want YOU to get in the same bind again.

  9. Something tells me he gave up a pretty awesome thing, and that you were given a second chance to find a better one! Men are assholes…buck up buttercup!

  10. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding the rest of us fabulous, single gals that we’re not alone in our “douche bag of boyfriends past” experiences. Love your blog…thanks for keeping it real! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  11. Wow, what a douche. You are so much more than that. And you could probably kick his ass, anyway. 🙂 I like to be as strong or stronger than my Navy officer boyfriend, personally 😉

  12. Sooo, I follow your blog as well as Civilized Caveman’s, you guys are awesome. Not sure if he’s single but I think you guys are a match made in heaven, just sayin! 🙂

    1. George is pretty awesome Melissa, he’s a good friend of mine. We are hoping to live next door to each other someday and cook and blog all day long soon. Life will be good then.

  13. breaking dawn part 1 is much better than the preceding three movies… which isn’t saying much, but hey!

    and enjoy being single. when you’re married, you don’t have time to watch movies like that without feeling like you’re pulling teeth out of your husband’s mouth. you have to wait until you’re sick at home. at least you know what you want, and, most importantly, the stupid sh*t you DON’T want.

  14. That is some first rate d-baggery…I was engaged to a similar individual. I think everyone has had that person that they thought was “it” and it turned out to be a nightmare, that you are left holding the bag on. To deep squats, chocolate and caffeine *raises coffee cup*

  15. I just found your blog and SOO glad I did…you are one awesome single chic! In my google reader filled with “I love my hubs!!” it was very refreshing to see your entry and I couldn’t agree more with your mantra for today “Embrace the single life. Embrace the barbell. Embrace the chocolate.”….I will do all of those things!

  16. Dude, isn’t that type of deception the WORST. I read a quote once (um, full disclosure it was from of those A is for Alibi mysteries DON”T JUDGE ME) that basically said “That’s the flip side of deception is that the person you become … is usually not very nice” Because I mean, really: what do you do with that anger of having been taken in? It can be so consuming and so…not actionable. Makes me want to throw a bunch of weights around, is what.

  17. Your a beautiful person. A man who loves a strong woman like yourself, who isnt intimidated by you but loves you for being a strong b*tch will come along and sweep you off your feet.

      1. It’s so unfortunate that some men aren’t capable of handling strong women!!

        You’re blog is awesome and encourages me to be a better writer/crossfitter/paleo-er.. thanks!

  18. Juli thanks for the laughs..I’m doing the same thing from a guy’s point of view because I got hosed recently too…too bad we can’t all get together with some movies, snacks and laughs…and not all guys are assholes ladies..and the ones that aren’t assholes are not all losers. Peace out 🙂

  19. Sorry about the man-douche Juli, some of us however, are pretty damn cool.
    Hope you meet ur crossfitting/Paleo eating man match soon

  20. As much comfort as this will be, know that I do truly love you. Not in that I’ve actually met you kind of creepy way, but in that I enjoy reading your ramblings and about your food and that I’m pissed that it took me until 9:00 today to read your blog kind of way. Yeah. Real love. Valentine’s sucks but that dude deserves to have his balls removed. Nothing to do with Valentine’s there.

  21. Oh god I just had something similar happen…except this girlfriend wasn’t tactful enough to contact me on FB, she decided to come to the bar we were at and cause a SCENE! So…that was pretty awesome. I like your idea for V-day better anyway…I’d rather have a chocolate covered walnut in my mouth than a dude. Ew. That was gross but it stays.

  22. At least CrossFit and the Paleo way of eating will never cheat on you and betray you! 🙂 Unfortunately, in life you have to sift through the d-bags to find the priceless gem. Speaking from experience…. numerous d-bags pre-marriage. Found the love of my life (as of almost 13yrs) when I was determined to focus on just me and f*ck going out with men. Was in a happy place just me and my girlfriends w/out the complications and disappointment of a man and then got slapped in the face (figuratively… would never get w/ someone who did it literally) w/ the man who would turn out to be the Mr. Right I had been searching for. Don’t give up… you’ll find him when you are both ready for it! In the meantime, love the girlfriend time, have your nut butters and chocolate too and keep killing the CrossFit WOD’s! Who knows… maybe you’ll find Mr. Right when you get to the Games this year?!? 🙂

    1. Thanks so much Rebecca!! Went to the Games to watch last year hoping a beautiful CrossFitter would show up next to me, but no luck. Turns out they just want to watch hot chicks workout.

  23. i don’t know you. you don’t know me.
    but i love you. because you’re funny and post amazing recipes and blogs. LOL

    i’ll send you flowers and chocolate! LOL

    anyways – hope you enjoyed your vday. sounds like it was fun!!!!

  24. So I am just catching up on your blog after I found out how good your jambalaya is. Sorry to hear you had a run in with this Tossa.

    Ps, I love your first video and am now a daily reader : )

  25. What an a-hole! It always makes me glad to hear when someone figures out they’re better off without someone like that and dumps them! Good for you!

  26. Had the same thing happen… how do they do that and get away with it? And obviously so many of them! Thanks for telling your story!

  27. Same thing happened to me…funny thing is, now I’m actually friend with the girl. At least something good came from it.

  28. I don’t get why society puts so much pressure on us to hurry up and be in a relationship! Ain’t nothing wrong with being single and fabulous for as long as you want 🙂

    SOOOO glad I found your blog, so many recipes I wanna try I don’t even know what to do with myself!

    yay single. yay crossfit. yay blogging. yay paleo. yay fabulous. We should be besties, lol!

  29. OH how i can identify with your story… hate schmucks. it’s so hard for awesome women to find someone equally awesome. oh well. that’s why we have blogs. and good food that makes us feel great. and chocolate. and gyms.

  30. New to your blog, Juli – came here via Laura’s Paleo Women Are Phat post on Ancestralize Me!

    Mainly, love your ‘Single Gal’ take on Paleo. Just adds to my growing conviction that having a man does not necessarily = being fabulous.

    Conversely, being fabulous does not require having a guy every effing minute!!

    What a relief!

  31. I think I’m in love with your blog & with your sense of humor…that’s first & foremost. But I also want to tell you that I went through something almost completely similar…except mine was MARRIED! D-bag, at its best…recently discovered crossfit & paleo (3 weeks ago)…you inspire me! Thanks!!!

  32. So I know I’m late on the replies, but I’ve been reading all your posts since I got onto website and I can not stop. I went grocery shopping to try three of your recipes this upcoming week and have never felt more ok with the way I’ve been feeling lately after reading your posts. I crossfit in San Antonio, I’m single, and can see myself identifying with some of the things your write about. keep doing it…it’s inspiring 🙂

  33. Hi Juli! I was brought to your page by my new Crossfit buds, yep I’m a Crossfit newbie 🙂 and I have to say I LOVE IT!!! Addiciting!!! I just finished reading your Valentines day post, and I have to say I’m a newly single girl and absolutely LOVING it!!!! I have all this time to myself, I don’t have to worry about guy drama or him being clingy or all that DRAMA. Not saying being in a relationship is bad, it’s totally not! Just with the wrong person it’s bad. I’m so happy to have found Crossfit. Crossfit is my new boyfriend 🙂 Thank you for this page and for being you! <3

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