Austin is a really cool place. Like, super cool. And I haven’t even ventured into town yet. I’m just really digging the weather. It’s slightly humid right now and not too hot, so my skin is way happier. I swear, my skin always is happier in humid places. No matter how much I moisturize and oil and glob on anything hydrating, my skin is always dry in CO. Stupid skin. Stupid CO.
So PaleoFx has been fun so far. I haven’t done much or listened to much, but I’ve met some bloggers and some food lovers. Those are the best kind of people. It’s just so intimidating. All these people know so much and I don’t even know how to find jeans that fit correctly. But seriously. All these people have fantastic cookbooks and blogs and podcasts and gosh knows what else, and I feel like a child. A 24 year old blogging child who knows how to do nothing. Except eat.
I know what I need to do. I need to work on confidence. Sexy Juli 2013 is not possible without confidence. And remember how that was one of my New Year’s Resolutions? Well it was, and it’s still a work in progress.
Speaking of sexy, let’s talk about what’s not sexy. Actually, we’ll talk about what IS sexy and what IS NOT sexy.
Lesson 1: What IS sexy
- Men in jeans with flip flops. I dig that look. If a guy can pull that off, I’m down. If he can’t, he probably should get tanner feet. And relax a little more. Relaxed people tend to be sexier people.
Lesson 2: What IS NOT sexy
- Men in jeans with five fingers. And a dress shirt. And a blazer. Not ok. Do you hear me?? NOT OK. Just because you have pale toes doesn’t mean you have to wear gloves on your feet. I understand the benefit to five fingers, I do, but when you’re having dinner, after you’ve showered and shaved and put on pants that are more snug around your nether regions, do not slide on foot socks to sport around women who are in high heels.
Lessons learned by JB. You’re welcome male population. I just got you laid. And when I say laid, I mean I just got you flowers around your neck in Hawaii. Not really, but I have to say that so people don’t get offended. But seriously, you’re welcome.
Do you remember the other day when I posted Shrimp and Jalapeño Sweet Potato Biscuits? Well, I topped them with gravy. Because I want gravy on a regular basis. These still aren’t exactly the same, but they did the job. I’m not craving them anymore. Right now I’m just craving sleep. Talking about paleo all day is exhausting. Not really, just eating a lot of food and standing is exhausting. Not really. I’m just a bore. And similar to a child.
Oh goodness. I need to do 13.4 tomorrow.
- Make your biscuits!!
- While biscuits are cooling, add the breakfast sausage to the pan and cook until you no longer see any pink, breaking up the sausage as it cooks.
- Once meat is cooked through, remove with slotted spoon and place in a bowl.
- Leave the rendered fat in the pan and add your coconut flour to the hot pan teaspoon by teaspoon while constantly whisking.
- Once you get a thickened mixture, add coconut milk to the pan, whisk then add the parsley, garlic powder, sage, smoked paprika and salt and pepper. Mix well.
- When the flavors meld, add breakfast sausage back in. Taste and salt and pepper as needed.
- Pour on top of biscuits. Or eat with a spoon. Or drink. Whatever you need.
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