I’m sitting in the living room right now, black sports bra and Lulu pants on, hair dye slicked through my hair like I ran grease through it. Or W-D40. Oh, I’m also eating a steak while sitting on the floor. I’m so weird. And I tend to get my hair dye everywhere when I dye it myself. I have it on my shoulder right now. Most likely on my back, which will be there for at least 3-4 days. Cool.
Why do hair stylists have to be so expensive? And why do people keep having to steal my credit card online? And go buy things at Disney World? It’s so inconsiderate. That’s where you spend my money? At the happiest place on earth? That’s just rude bro. And please do not email me and tell me ways to prevent credit card theft. I know them all…obviously. Credit card theft is so mean. Especially when your funds are limited like mine. I was going to feed all my readers with that money. Karma’s a b*tch bro. Just sayin’.
This weekend was pretty damn fun. Pretty much because it was all based around food. Birthday lunch for one of my best buddies Jake (he turned 30, what a stud), then 2 BBQ’s at our house, then Laura and I made pretty much every dessert under the sun. Lots of red meat consumed, many beers and bottles of alcohol thrown back, and lots of tan lines…or burns. Days in the park, followed by evenings in the back yard, and finished off with nights in the living room…I.LOVE.COLORADO. And I love my friends. Have you started to follow me on instagram yet @paleomg? I’m seriously an instagram feed now. It makes me feel like I know how to take pictures. Clever lil device.
I figured out a couple things this weekend:
- I have to start getting pedicures. Damnit. I hate being a girl. And having feet.
- I like steak WAY more than I thought. Paired with asparagus…even if it makes my pee smell.
- I still hate running. But I gotta get that Lake Powell bod. Balls.
- If the right song comes on, I instantly want to go dancing. Meaning anything by B.o.B. right now. I feel so cool when his songs come on. Fly, to be exact.
- My ass finally fit into a pair of Old Navy jeans. Thank gosh. It’s hard acting like a normal person.
- I love this quote, “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” -Dr. Seuss.
So this recipe is stupid good. I’m not kidding. I was highly stoked about it. I based it off my banana bread recipe that I also tear up for whenever I make it. It’s kind of like eating a bakery, minus the gluten and bloating. I love fake bread. Ugh. Sometimes I talk WAY too much. Yeah, all the time.
- 1 medium banana (the browner, the better)
- ¼ cup pureed pumpkin (I used canned Pure Pumpkin)
- ¼ cup blueberries
- ⅛ cup Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate chips
- 1.5 cups roasted unsalted cashews
- 1 cup almond meal/flour
- 2 tablespoons walnut oil
- 2 eggs, whisked
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- Pull out your handy dandy food processor. It will make life soooo much easier. Add your cashews to the food processor to grind down.
- Once your get a fine cashew meal, add your walnut oil while your food processor is still on until you get a cashew butter.
- Then add your peeled banana and pureed pumpkin to your food processor with your cashews. Turn your food processor on and let combine for a minute or so until you have a soupy paste. Taste it. It's stupid delicious.
- Now in a large bowl, whisk your eggs, then add your cashew/banana mixture along with almond meal/flour, baking soda and powder, honey, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and salt. Mix to combine until you get a batter.
- Now fold in your blueberries and chocolate chips.
- Grease a bread pan with some coconut oil. I used a loaf pan that was 9.3x5.2 inches (weird numbers) and it worked well. You could use smaller for taller loaf of bread, just may cook differently.
- Pour batter into your greased loaf pan. Place in oven and bake for 25-30 minutes or until bread is cooked through and the top of your loaf has a bit of a "crisp" to it.
- Let bread cool for about 10 minutes.