I know what you’re thinking. Juli, that is the longest recipe name ever and therefore, you are stupid. I get it. I think I’m stupid too. But how else am I suppose to show the complexity of this recipe without every single ingredient in the title? Ok, it’s actually not complex. Nor is every ingredient in the title. Therefore, this paragraph is pointless. Whatever. These pancakes tasted like unicorns and sunshine dancing atop my tongue. Haha, atop.
Anywho! I’m back from vacation!!!! I know you most likely didn’t know that I was gone, but whatever. I’M BACK. And I was welcomed back yesterday with a notice that my domain needed to be renewed and then was bombarded by emails and messages letting me know that my site was down. I appreciate everyone telling me and I am sorry for that occurring. I wish I could say that it wasn’t my fault, but that would be a lie. It was my credit card thefters fault. Since some d*ck stole my credit card, I had to get a new one and my card number failed when my domain name tried to update itself. F*ckin credit card stealers. You’re bad people. But, I did have someone on Twitter ask if people needed to start donating money to keep my site up. I’d be cool with that. I won’t object. Being poor isn’t my favorite past time…wait, that’s present time. What?
Did that last couple sentences not make any sense to you either? Cool.
So this week is going to be posts ALL ABOUT my summer vacation to Lake Powell. I know you care and all. I’ll give you a quick run down. I stayed on a house boat in BFE Powell with 22 other people. 16 men, 6 women. Lucky me right? Wrong. All guy friends. Shame. Whatever, they are the most entertaining guy friends anyone could ask for. I almost peed myself a couple times. Thankfully water is nearby. No one knows what you’re doing…or what the person next to you is doing. Ew.
The entertainment on this house boat for 5 days was pretty incredible. All these guys do is drink, talk about the dumb sh*t they’ve done while drunk, then do more dumb stuff to talk about later on in the day. I saw beer cans thrown like grenades into the ceiling fan, I saw grown men spit beer into another grown mans mouth, and I saw men reenact childhood by going down the houseboat slide on every imaginable object on the boat. That included a trash can lid, a wakeboard, an air mattress, another man’s body, and really who knows what else. I’ve never been one to enjoy watching people get hurt, but this was pretty damn funny. Like Jackass-what-the-hell-are-they-thinking style. It’s so scary that it’s funny. So weird.
Speaking of pain, one of the most painful, most fun, and most terrifying things I did out at Powell became a regular occurrence every time we pulled into the house boat. Every. Time. That meant multiple times a day. Boat bail outs. So get this, after a day of fun, happy-go-lucky times, we would pull into the house boat at a good 30mph (pretty sure I’m exaggerating…a lot) and would travel right by a huge floating tube. I mean, you can comfortably fit 3-4 of my asses on this thing lying down, so it’s a pretty large surface area. And when you traveled by this tube, at the speed of light, you were asked land on the tube and not fall off. The thing is, perfectly timing landing on a platform while moving at the speed of light is difficult. Like, real difficult. Pretty sure I only saw 2 people make it. The first time I tried it, I was slightly intoxicated, and I landed on it butt first, but then flew right off of it like a trampoline bounce at the Olympics. The second time, not as intoxicated, I decided Baywatch style diving was the way to go. Poor decision. Not only did I bruise my ass, neck, back, foot, and leg, but my ego took a beating. When everyone looked at me with slight fear in their eyes when I came up from the water, I couldn’t even speak because I had swallowed so much. (I can hear allllll the dirty jokes going wild right now)
Ok, it wasn’t THAT embarrassing. More like effing frightening. I only tried it twice. My body begged for me not to try it again after the second spill. But I got to watch 20 other people do the bail outs….every day. Do you know how hilarious that is to watch? It was scary more than anything. But sometimes you just gotta stop acting like a mom, especially since I don’t want to be one, and let boys be boys. And then sometimes join in. I wish I could hang more, but pain hurts. And I just don’t drink enough to dull that sensation. Shame.
Wait until you hear the story for tomorrow.
I don’t actually even know what that story is yet.
- 1.5 plantains, super ripe (that means get 2 plantains that are dark brown/black in color, you will use 1 full plantain and ½ of the other)
- 2 eggs
- 2 tablespoons coconut flour
- 2 tablespoons canned coconut milk
- 1 heaping tablespoon sunbutter (or nutbutter)
- 1 heaping tablespoon cinnamon (or more)
- ½ teaspoon baking soda
- ½ teaspoon baking powder
- pinch of salt
- 3 tablespoons coconut oil
- ½ plantain
- 2 tablespoons maple syrup (or other sweetener such as coconut nectar)
- 2 teaspoons cinnamon
- First let’s caramelize these plantains. Make sure your plantains are super ripe so they are dark in color and a bit squishy. Yes, squishy.
- Heat up a medium skillet under medium heat and add your 3 tablespoons of coconut oil.
- While the oil heats up, cut off the ends of your 2 plantains and peel back the peel. Making a slit down the side makes it quite easy to pull back.
- Cut each plantain into three equal slices lengthwise then place in your hot coconut oil and sprinkle with cinnamon and a bit of salt. Let cook for about 3 minutes per side. Once you flip them, sprinkle that side with cinnamon and a little bit of salt.
- Once your plantains are done cooking, remove from pan and set on a plate to cool. Leave behind ½ of a plantain for your syrup and place the rest of the plantains in a large bowl and use a fork to completely mash your plantains.
- Now add the rest of your pancake ingredients: eggs, coconut flour, coconut milk, sunbutter, cinnamon, baking soda and powder, and salt and mix well until you get a soupy paste.
- Now heat up a skillet or whatever you love to cook your pancakes on. I used a non stick skillet and added no oil to the pan and none of the pancakes stuck to the pan but be careful.
- Add a small amount of your pancake mix to the hot skillet (I made my pancakes about 3 inches wide) and cook until bubbles begin to appear in the batter then flip. About 2 minutes per side depending how big you make them. The smaller you make, the easier these are to flip and not break apart.
- Make your all your pancakes!
- Then, with the leftover plantains, dice them up into smaller pieces and add to a bowl of your maple syrup and cinnamon.
- Stack those pancakes, pour your syrup on top, and eat!
- Holy crap good.