Chorizo Plantain Hash
The Bachelor is officially over. What in the hell am I going to fill my time with now that I have two extra hours in my week? I can’t believe how long those episodes are nowadays. Are you happy with the outcome? I totally knew Lauren was going to win. He adored her from the beginning. And I’m so glad JoJo is the next Bachelorette. If it were Caila, I would have stopped watching and filled my time with more productive activities, like dusting. I need to figure out JoJo’s instagram in hopes she shares where she gets her outfits from. That girls has the cutest clothes I’ve ever seen. And can anyone PLEASE tell me where Lauren’s outfit is from, the one she wore on the After The Rose show. I want to wear that dress all day every day!!
But wait, we need to recap first. I need to get something off my chest right now. Something that annoys the sh*t out of me: when women (or men) call their significant other their best friend. Especially when it occurs right away. Like JoJo telling Ben’s dad that he’s her best friend. Then Ben says after 2 months, JoJo has become his best friend. So wait. Let me get one thing straight. You’ve known each other 2 months, in which you barely got to hang out with each other since Ben was making out with other people and saying he loves another woman, and you’re gonna just throw your actual best friend under the bus? Eff the person you’ve known for years, who has hung out with you through your break ups, who has held your hair while you puked your night up, who has put the time and energy in to becoming your best friend. Forget that person. Sure, I know some couples who are truly best friends, but you gotta earn that title. Because when Ben dumped JoJo, I’m guessing she didn’t keep the title of ‘Ben the best friend.’ Am I right or am I right? We need to spread the movement #dontforgetyouractualbestfriend.
Some of the interesting things in the show:
- Crustless sandwiches Ben’s parents had while they were meeting the ladies…what an odd snack to have. Do you think that was requested? I just haven’t thought about cutting the crust off my sandwich in a long time. Probably because I haven’t had a real sandwich in 7+ years.
- Ben’s mom saying, “I just want Ben to find someone to plant his stake (steak) in.” What an odd thing to say.
- Ben having an ice pack in the back of his pants while breaking up with someone then proposing to someone. That wasn’t odd, that just gave me a great idea for Brian at our own wedding in Jamaica. Totally packing an ice pack for him.
- The girls professing their love as soon as they got there instead of him doing it. Isn’t that what the guys are suppose to do before they propose? Not the other way around? I wonder if the producers told them to do that to make JoJo’s break up more dramatic. Dick move, producers, dick move.
- How awkward was After The Rose? The part about having Ben’s pastor there ready to marry them…couldn’t you just have asked Ben beforehand and when he said no, not wasted your money on bringing the pastor out to stand there awkwardly. Just an idea.
Now for my final thought. When they asked JoJo to be the next Bachelorette however long ago, does she just keep herself away from people so she doesn’t meet a guy while she’s waiting to meet 30+ guys on reality TV? I’d like to know how those details play out. And how weird was it when she acted like she didn’t know they were going to choose her for the next bachelorette. That was just awkward.
Until next season, my friend!
Chorizo Plantain Hash
- Yield: 4 1x
- 3 pieces of bacon, chopped
- 1 1/2 pound ground chorizo
- 1/2 white onion, minced
- 1 red bell pepper, diced
- 2 brown, ripened plantains, peeled and cubed (these plantains are sweet unlike the green ones)
- salt, to taste
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1/8 teaspoon chili powder
- 1/8 teaspoon smoked paprika
- eggs (1-2 eggs per person)
- Place bacon in a cast iron or large skillet over medium heat. Cook until crispy then remove with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add chorizo, white onion and bell pepper to the bacon fat and use a wooden spoon to break up the meat. Cook until meat is cooked through and onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside with bacon.
- In the pan, there should be about 2 tablespoons of fat left over from the meat. If not, add about 2 tablespoons of butter or ghee to the pan (You’ll want to make sure to have enough in there so the plantains don’t stick to the bottom of the pan). Add diced plantains. Let the plantains cook for about 3 minutes, sprinkled with salt, garlic powder, oregano, chili powder and paprika then once browned on one side, flip and cook for another 3 minutes on the other side.
- Once plantains have browned a bit, add bacon and chorizo mixture to the pan to mix with the plantains.
- Fry eggs in a separate pan or cook them in the hash like this then top the hash with the eggs, chimichurri, pickled onions, cilantro and freshly cracked black pepper and pink peppercorns.
More Spicy Breakfast Ideas:
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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.
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