Chorizo Plantain Hash

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The Bachelor is officially over. What in the hell am I going to fill my time with now that I have two extra hours in my week? I can’t believe how long those episodes are nowadays. Are you happy with the outcome? I totally knew Lauren was going to win. He adored her from the beginning. And I’m so glad JoJo is the next Bachelorette. If it were Caila, I would have stopped watching and filled my time with more productive activities, like dusting. I need to figure out JoJo’s instagram in hopes she shares where she gets her outfits from. That girls has the cutest clothes I’ve ever seen. And can anyone PLEASE tell me where Lauren’s outfit is from, the one she wore on the After The Rose show. I want to wear that dress all day every day!!

But wait, we need to recap first. I need to get something off my chest right now. Something that annoys the sh*t out of me: when women (or men) call their significant other their best friend. Especially when it occurs right away. Like JoJo telling Ben’s dad that he’s her best friend. Then Ben says after 2 months, JoJo has become his best friend. So wait. Let me get one thing straight. You’ve known each other 2 months, in which you barely got to hang out with each other since Ben was making out with other people and saying he loves another woman, and you’re gonna just throw your actual best friend under the bus? Eff the person you’ve known for years, who has hung out with you through your break ups, who has held your hair while you puked your night up, who has put the time and energy in to becoming your best friend. Forget that person. Sure, I know some couples who are truly best friends, but you gotta earn that title. Because when Ben dumped JoJo, I’m guessing she didn’t keep the title of ‘Ben the best friend.’ Am I right or am I right? We need to spread the movement #dontforgetyouractualbestfriend.

Some of the interesting things in the show:

  1. Crustless sandwiches Ben’s parents had while they were meeting the ladies…what an odd snack to have. Do you think that was requested? I just haven’t thought about cutting the crust off my sandwich in a long time. Probably because I haven’t had a real sandwich in 7+ years.
  2. Ben’s mom saying, “I just want Ben to find someone to plant his stake (steak) in.” What an odd thing to say.
  3. Ben having an ice pack in the back of his pants while breaking up with someone then proposing to someone. That wasn’t odd, that just gave me a great idea for Brian at our own wedding in Jamaica. Totally packing an ice pack for him.
  4. The girls professing their love as soon as they got there instead of him doing it. Isn’t that what the guys are suppose to do before they propose? Not the other way around? I wonder if the producers told them to do that to make JoJo’s break up more dramatic. Dick move, producers, dick move.
  5. How awkward was After The Rose? The part about having Ben’s pastor there ready to marry them…couldn’t you just have asked Ben beforehand and when he said no, not wasted your money on bringing the pastor out to stand there awkwardly. Just an idea.

Now for my final thought. When they asked JoJo to be the next Bachelorette however long ago, does she just keep herself away from people so she doesn’t meet a guy while she’s waiting to meet 30+ guys on reality TV? I’d like to know how those details play out. And how weird was it when she acted like she didn’t know they were going to choose her for the next bachelorette. That was just awkward.

Until next season, my friend!

PaleOMG Chorizo Plantain Hash

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Chorizo Plantain Hash

  • Yield: 4 1x
Scale

Ingredients

  • 3 pieces of bacon, chopped
  • 1 1/2 pound ground chorizo
  • 1/2 white onion, minced
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 2 brown, ripened plantains, peeled and cubed (these plantains are sweet unlike the green ones)
  • salt, to taste
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
  • 1/8 teaspoon chili powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • eggs (1-2 eggs per person)

Garnish with:

Instructions

  1. Place bacon in a cast iron or large skillet over medium heat. Cook until crispy then remove with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add chorizo, white onion and bell pepper to the bacon fat and use a wooden spoon to break up the meat. Cook until meat is cooked through and onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside with bacon.
  2. In the pan, there should be about 2 tablespoons of fat left over from the meat. If not, add about 2 tablespoons of butter or ghee to the pan (You’ll want to make sure to have enough in there so the plantains don’t stick to the bottom of the pan). Add diced plantains. Let the plantains cook for about 3 minutes, sprinkled with salt, garlic powder, oregano, chili powder and paprika then once browned on one side, flip and cook for another 3 minutes on the other side.
  3. Once plantains have browned a bit, add bacon and chorizo mixture to the pan to mix with the plantains.
  4. Fry eggs in a separate pan or cook them in the hash like this then top the hash with the eggs, chimichurri, pickled onions, cilantro and freshly cracked black pepper and pink peppercorns.

PaleOMG Chorizo Plantain Hash

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.

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21 thoughts on “Chorizo Plantain Hash”

  1. Pretty sure the JoJo decision was a last minute one. But according to Reality Steve, she’s already friends on Facebook with one of the guys who’s supposedly going to be on her season. Interesting…

      1. A giant web of sources developed over the past several years. But yeah, he pretty much does know everything….

  2. You should read Sharleen’s (from Chris’ season) recaps about the Bachelor. She gives insight from being on the show AND gives outfit details on where the girls get their stuff from and links alternatives if it’s sold out! alltheprettypandas.com –and this hash looks awesome.

  3. My husband (who normally doesn’t watch The Bachelor but who just happened to be in the same room) couldn’t help but comment on the planting a stake comment. Something to the effect of “heh heh, sounds like he’s already planted his stake into multiple women”. Did I mention my husband is 12. But I laughed because apparently I’m 12 as well.

    The hash looks amazing!

  4. YAAASSS on the best friend thing!! I have said that my husband isn’t my best friend to people and you’d think I told them I was cheating on him. He isn’t my best friend. I love him and am in love with him but he doesn’t like to go to Express or Target with me or agonize over which rug to buy on Wayfair or discuss which VS bikini bottoms run way too small and make love handles appear!! He pays half of our bills, he plans vacations for us, he takes care of the pool and landscaping at our house and he does dishes after I cook. He loves me and takes care of me when I am sick but he isn’t my best friend. We do enjoy a lot of activities together but it’s not the same as my best girlfriends…you need those too!

  5. What am I going to do without all of your Bachelor recaps now!! I guess I will just have to wait until next season, which I am so excited to watch. I loved, loved, loved the dress JoJo wore to her proposal. And that “planting the steak comment was too funny”. I just had to tell my hubby that one…it almost got him to come watch with me, HA!

  6. Hey Juli, hash looks amazing! Got a fashion Friday’s request, I wondered if you could do some with tips for dressing a more ‘athletic figure’ I’ve been doing Crossfit and strength training for a while. And whilst I love a lot of the changes its made to my body, apart from my gym clothes I have no idea how to dress/shop! I used to love it but feel so lost now, like I need to re learn how to dress myself! I particularly dread skinny jeans shipping haha. Thanks for all the amazing recipes you regularly upload x

    1. that’s always a tough one, because well, companies don’t really make clothes for muscular women. that was definitely the most challenging part for me while i was competing. the thing i recommend the most is finding a good tailor. i tailor a lot of my clothes since pants or shorts won’t fit my waist if they fit my legs. and then once you find a stretchy brand that works (flying monkey, STS Blue, Vigoss, Just Black are the ones that work for me the best), just stick with that brand and most of their stuff will fit! hope that helps!

  7. Hello Juli! I’m just curious where you buy the chorizo? What brand is it? I’ve checked all the latin stores close to me and all their sausages are filled with chemicals..
    Thanks for being awsome!! 😀

  8. Juli girl, the chorizo plantain hash is it!! I made it with the chimichurri sauce and maybe I want to eat it every day.

  9. This recipe was amazing! I never thought to mix plantains and chorizo, but it turned out delicious! will be making again and again!

      1. Juli,
        I know this is an old post, but I had to thank you for this recipe.
        I make my own Chorizo and I used it in this crazy-good hash. I am currently in love with plantains. Have you tried empanadas with a plantain crust?? Or pastelon? All paleo and wicked good and easy to make!

  10. Made this over the weekend minus chorizo, only because I forgot to buy it. I ate it for brunch & dinner – sooooo yummy! Love the sweet & salty!

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