Hold the phone! HOLD THE FREAKING PHONE! Did I just say nut butter? Sh*t yes I did. God I love nut butters. Like, every kind. Any kind. I make them….a lot. I actually even legit thought about starting my own nut butter business. It was going to be Bauer’s Nut Butters, or something like that, but way more clever. No I’m not related to Jack Bauer. Stop thinking you’re original. Either way, it would have been a hella good business. I love nut butters. Thus I put my love into every nut. That was a weird statement.
So over the weekend, I sat in front of the computer for 6+ hours a day finishing this website. I’m slow. It look Peter like 4.6 seconds to do anything I needed him to do. Genius man. But I actually was so concentrated on the computer that I forgot to eat. This doesn’t happen in my life. Like, ever. Forgetting to eat is like forgetting a headband. It.Never.Happens. So when I couldn’t hear Adele sing ‘Set Fire to the Rain‘ for the 37th time that day because my stomach was growling so loud, I guessed it was time to eat. Hence the massive amount of nut butter ingested in a small amount of time.
Last week, I made chocolate cashew butter (cashews are totally the ugly step child in the paleo world….thank you Sergio), chocolate almond butter, and maple macadamia nut butter. You do the math. Thank god I don’t count calories. That would be utterly depressing.
But my weekend did start out pretty awesome with a Wine and New Year’s Resolution party at my friend Jenny’s house. She’s adorable. And a new CrossFitter who is effing killing it in the gym. So cool to see someone with that much dedication. It’s very rare. She rocks. Anywho, she had a bunch of ladies over to gossip, eat a lot of food (I ate ALL the chocolate covered cashews. No kidding.) and write their resolutions down on a notecard that she is going to mail us in 6 months. She’s so freaking cool. So I hadn’t even really thought of my resolutions until I walked in her door. I think I wrote down 3…maybe 4. F.
- To only wear my headband during workouts. It’s getting out of control. Headbands aren’t sexy. They just aren’t. Especially when they break my hair and I have hundreds of 1 inch hair sticking up when I actually style my hair. Not gonna get a date looking like that.
- To train as hard as I can to make it further in Regionals this year…and someday make it to the Games. Yes, it’s unrealistic, but I’m stubborn so I’m going to try. This means lots more tears will be shed while trying to nail down muscle ups. F*ck you muscle ups.
- To grow this website to it’s full potential. I have no idea what that means, but I want everyone to know about my website. I want to inspire people to not only cook things that are delicious and satisfy any sort of eater, but to show the world that cooking paleo is actually very easy. I’m stupid and I can still pull it off.
- To help grow the PurePharma brand and show the community how amazing it is. I’m not joking people. I take it and LOVE IT. I’ve seen a huge difference in my flexibility and range of motion since taking it. Especially when I roll out on a lacrosse ball, I don’t feel like my muscles are tearing apart.
So what are your resolutions looking like? Sounds like a lot of people are doing the Whole30! Rock it out. I did that once then made like 18 batches of paleo cookies after it was over. A bit overkill.
Are you sick of listening to Adele? Me neither. I have started listening to Young the Giant ‘Cough Syrup‘…but they’ll never steal my heart like Adele does.
- 2 cups raw macadamia nuts
- 2 tablespoons maple syrup
- 1 teaspoon maple extract (optional)
- pinch of salt
This is legit easy. You don't even need extra oil since macadamia nuts are oily lil b*tches.
- Add macadamia nuts to a food processor and let run for about 3 minutes until your macadamia nuts have become a paste and the fat has begun to release more.
- While the food processor is still running, slowly add your maple syrup to help incorporate.
- Then add your maple extract.
- Then add your salt.
- Turn food processor off and taste to see if you would like it more maple-y or a bit more salt.
- Add more as needed.
- Consume with fruit, with a spoon, or finger (that's what I do)
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