I did it. I accidentally made adult hamburger helper. Well, I guess hamburger helper was always for all ages. It didn’t discriminate. But it was something I really only ate as a child. Once I was in college and a real adult, I stuck with egg-in-a-hole and pizza. Real adult-like, ya know? But hamburger helper reminds me of my childhood, when I couldn’t fathom eating something that included me chopping an onion. I don’t know if I ever even picked up a real knife until after college. Luckily I’ve now graduated to a much more classy life, filled with HOMEMADE hamburger helper. If my younger self could see me now.

PaleOMG Cheeseburger Pasta

PaleOMG Cheeseburger Pasta

Did you see the SAG awards last night? Me neither. But I did see Aubrey Plaza’s criss cross boobie dress and I’m HERE FOR IT. She was having a major moment there and I loved seeing it on social media since who even watches live TV anymore? I really envy those small boobs at the moment since mine are gigantic from breastfeeding and looking different every day. Who will they be in 5 months from now? There’s no way to know.

Sometimes I wonder about people coming to my blog for the first time then reading a post that includes my boob size in a post about adult hamburger helper…but then I remind myself that 2% of people who come here actually read this part. And you are my people.

I digress.

She looked SO HOT. And Niecy Nash was wearing some neon green dressed that slayed so hard. And Emily Blunt killed it in this tight red dress that had flowers all over it, but honestly…she can do no wrong. Especially since she’s married to John Krasinksi and he will always be out Jim, ya know what I mean?

PaleOMG Cheeseburger Pasta

PaleOMG Cheeseburger Pasta

I’ve been much more interested in pop culture lately. I think it’s due to the fact of having a child. Before I used to work until I went to bed, but now sometimes my brain just short-circuits and can’t even fathom trying to put a sentence together, let along put something out there that I’m proud of. I know this time will pass as she gets older, but for now I’m turning to pop culture and looking at photos of houses I can’t afford. Both bring me some sort of peace at the end of the night. Like a warm cup of hot chocolate. Ya feel?

PaleOMG Cheeseburger Pasta

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Cheeseburger Pasta

  • Author: juli
  • Prep Time: 5 minutes
  • Cook Time: 15 minutes
  • Total Time: 20 minutes
  • Yield: 6-8 1x


  • 16oz pasta of choice (I used orecchiette, but you could use GF, brown rice, lentil, or paleo pasta noodles)
  • 1lb ground beef
  • 1/2 yellow onion, chopped
  • 3 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 14oz canned tomatoes, drained
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened ketchup
  • 1/3 cup yellow mustard
  • 1/4 cup avocado oil mayo
  • 1 cup freshly grated sharp cheddar cheese (use a dairy-free option, if you prefer)
  • green onions, for garnish


  1. Cook pasta according to directions. Scoop out 1/2 cup of pasta water and set aside for later before draining.
  2. While the pasta is cooking, place a large nonstick pan over medium heat. Add ground beef, onion, and garlic. Sprinkle salt, garlic powder, and black pepper. Break meat up and cook until no pink remains and onions are translucent. Add canned tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, and mayo. Mix to combined then taste to see if the dish needs more salt.
  3. Add the mixture to the pot with the drained pasta, add in the reserved pasta liquid, and add 1/2 cup grated cheese. Place over medium-low heat then add the remaining 1/2 cup of cheese on top and cover to steam and heat through. Before serving, top with green onions!

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PaleOMG Cheeseburger Pasta

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PaleOMG Cheeseburger Pasta


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  1. Whitney says:

    Just made this. It’s delicious and toddler approved!

  2. Jackie says:

    This was unbelievably tasty. I’m in MN and it was super cozy and delicious.

  3. Jessica says:

    I’m the 2% that reads it! I love your posts, you are hilarious and I love your down to earth sarcasm AND that you love parks &rec and The Office. can’t wait to make this!!

  4. Tnic says:

    Normally love all the recipes here but this one is not a win. Tastes like mustard pasta. I double checked all the ingredients to make sure I didn’t misread the recipe but I followed it exactly.

  5. Aly says:

    This was so gooooood that I sent the recipe immediately to my sisters. I only did a 8 oz box of pasta and it was plenty and also added a dollop of dill relish because what is a cheeseburger without pickles?!!

  6. Desiree Everhart says:

    My son said it’s the best dinner ever!!! So good. Love this recipe and blog!

  7. Erin says:

    This was fantastic & so easy to make! Next time I’m going to use only 8oz of pasta to make it more meatier. Such a good idea Juli!

  8. Jessica says:

    I love the idea and innovation here. My kids loved it! I will make it again with modifications.

  9. Candice says:

    What are the macros or calories for this meal?

  10. Sarah Wellner says:

    Are you eating gluten?! Did the bean protocol make that happen? Either way, love this recipe and love you, no matter what size your boobies are today!