5 Steps to a More Confident You in 2019

To me, being confident is one of the most attractive qualities in a person. I don’t care if you’re a size 00 or size 14, if you’re confident with who you are, that confidence shines through to everyone you meet. But a fact most of us have to face is that confidence doesn’t always come easy. It’s hard. It takes work. And it’s something you have to be aware of because it can be quickly lost if steps aren’t being taken daily. This might not be true for everyone, but it definitely is for me.

Confidence has never come easy to me. As soon as I hit puberty, I hated myself. I remember at one point in my life, I couldn’t think of a single thing that I liked about myself. Not one single thing. But I wanted to be more confident. I would watch girls at school who seemed like they oozed confidence and I would imitate them in hopes of exuding that same facade. Problem was, it was exactly that, a facade. And it honestly took me years and years to find a person I could look in the mirror and be proud of. And once I found that true confidence deep inside, I think others began to see it, as well.

2018 was a tough year for me confidence wise. I constantly doubted myself, talked down to myself, and drown myself in social media deception. Instead of focusing on the positive, I found myself scrolling through social media, comparing, and quickly losing the confident person I had found years ago. So when the end of 2018 was in sight, I began to look back at the person I had become in 2018 and analyze what had brought me to that point. And then I was able to make a change.

These are the 5 steps that I have to take daily to get back on track and back to the confident person I once knew. You may not have to take all five steps in your own life, but following these five steps in the past month has me feeling back to myself again. And sure, I’ll fall off the wagon at some point in the future, but now I know that it’s all about mindset. Change your mindset, change your life. So let’s get to it!

• Step 1 – Compliment yourself.
  • Your brain will believe whatever you tell it. So if you’re constantly telling yourself you’re not good enough, your brain will believe it. But if you decide to flip it around and give yourself a compliment, even when you may not believe it, your brain will begin to listen.
  • Whenever I look in the mirror and find myself wanting to say something negative, I spin it around and say, “Juli, I’m so proud of your hard work and how far you’ve come. You look great.” and I move on with my day.
• Step 2 – No more self deprecation.
  • It’s so easy to make jokes about yourself, especially to others. This was a constant move I made when feeling insecure. I would point out my insecurities before someone else had the opportunity to. But going back to what I said above, the more you tell yourself something, the more your brain will believe it. And others will believe it, too.
• Step 3 – Unfollow accounts that make you doubt yourself or make you feel less than.
  • This is something I do all.the.time. This has nothing to do with them and everything to do with what stage I am in my own life. But if I find myself looking at someone else’s account and thinking negative thoughts about myself because of that comparison game, I step back, unfollow and move on. Then look at puppy instagram pages. It’s so easy to see someone else’s life as perfect and easy, and therefore dislike your own, but everything on instagram is so planned and curated. Remember that.
  • Follow accounts that lift you up, make your laugh, and brighten your day. If they do anything else, it’s time to move on. You can always follow them again in the future when you’re at a better point in your own life!
• Step 4 – Take steps each day that you know will make you feel your best.
  • For me, that includes so many different things. These are the steps that are most important for me and set me up for success day after day –
    • Eating 3 square meals and not overly snacking
    • Planning out my day hour-by-hour the night before
    • Working out 5-6 days per week
    • Staying away from sugar and alcohol as much as possible
    • Drinking over a gallon of water each day
    • Staying off social media as much as possible
  • If I follow these steps each day, I feel like the most positive version of myself and it helps me stay confident, even when something is a little off.
• Step 5 – Take a closer look at the people your surround yourself with.
  • Even though this is last on the list, it’s so incredibly important. Think of some of the friends or relationships you’ve had throughout the years and the stage of life you’ve been in. I’ve had some pretty negative friends and boyfriends that have in turn made me a negative person. And that negativity has pulled me away from the positive self-talk and longterm goals that I had in those moments.
  • Cutting those toxic people out of your life can be very challenging, but it’s important to remember that we only have one life on this earth (that we know of) and losing yourself because of another person just really isn’t worth it.

That’s it! Those 5 simple steps each day set me up for success and make me feel like my most confident self. Maybe you’re the type of person who has always been confident and doesn’t have to think about these types of things, and I envy you for me. But for me, being confident is a constant battle that I have to think about daily. But becoming aware of that has completely changed my life.

It’s still January and people are still crash dieting, Whole 30-ing, and working out nonstop in hopes of losing weight this year. But what I think is the most important piece of all is mindset. If you can change your outlook on life, things will start to fall in place like never before. If you look at yourself differently, the world will see you in an all new light. Be the shining light that everyone gravitates towards this year. Be the most confident version of yourself in 2019. You deserve it to be happy. You got this!