A Day in the Life of JB

JB is me. You’re slow.

I have big news. HUGE NEWS. Like, the most exciting news you’ll hear all day!!! Ready?? Ok, PaleOMG is getting a face lift. No not me, even though I should consider it (I’m kidding, jesus) but the website is getting a little nip/tuck. Did you ever watch that show? Holy sh*t, addictive drama. Were you just disappointed that was the huge news? My b.

Anywho, the website will be changing. Nothing drastic. It will just be much easier to navigate. Easy to print recipes. Easy to find recipes. Easy to see more obnoxious rants. I’m doing this for you people!! I like all of you who read my blog…like a lot. Like more than nut butter a lot. You make my world go round. But seriously, to anyone who has laughed at me and my stories, been annoyed by my stories but still read on, or tried and hopefully enjoyed one of my recipes, I love you. Beautiful souls, you are.

So what that means is my new website will be https://paleomg.com instead of blogspot.com. I’m working on my website right now with one of the most intelligent programmers I have ever met. This man knows his stuff. I feel bad for him when he has to chat with me about computer stuff. He must feel like he’s talking to an egg yolk sometimes. Poor man. But as soon as the site is all done, I’ll let you know what changes will occur. DON’T WORRY, change is fun. I changed from wearing pants to wearing shorts today. So daring. Good thing I’m nice and pale right now or the people driving down Broadway wouldn’t have been able to spot me. Gross. I hate pale legs.

Conclusion: New website coming. Be excited! Not pee-yourself-excited, but really excited. I will keep you updated with any changes that occur in the next few days. I think I just peed.
So a wonderful reader recently asked what my diet looked like in a regular day. I thought it would be fun to look at what I ate. And take pictures of it. My days are seriously always so different that what I ate today may look completely different tomorrow.

So let’s chat about my day because you know it was ridiculously interesting. That was a lie. I’m such a bore.

  • 4:30am Happy time-I usually sip this while sitting on the toilet (don’t be gross) staring at the wall, waiting for my brain to function. I’m usually on the toilet since I’m about to do my makeup, just FYI: 1 cup of coffee with 1 tbsp canned coconut milk
  • 6:00am Coaching at CrossFit Broadway
  • Then it’s onto computer fun time. Have you checked out my Twitter yet?! Or my Facebook page?! Come on now. You should. No one follows me, some people like me. NOW YOU CAN. Lucky bastard, you are. Don’t worry though, all that stuff will be much easier to find with my new website!!! BOOM.
  • 8:00am Breakfast:3 oz deer steak, 1/4 avocado, 1/2 apple sauteed in coconut oil with a sprinkle of almond flour and cinnamon

  • 8:30am Heaven: 1 cup of coffee with 1 tbsp canned coconut milk
  • 9:30am Snackaroo: 2 slices of roasted kabocha squash

10:00am wod with Jason at CrossFit Broadway. 400m runs sucks ass ball.

  • 12:00pm Lunch:3 oz deer steak, 3 slices of kabocha squash,1/4 avocado

Then I had my skin appointment. I’ve mentioned many times about my fight with pre-pubescent boy acne. It blows ass. I hate acne. SO I’ve been putting myself through some miserable pain. Totally worth it though. My skin guru has been shoving needles into my face, shocking me with some kind of electricity like feels like I took a shirt out of the dryer to rub the static electricity on my wounds…1,000 times, and then  doing around 23 facial masks on me…while I slept because I was so exhausted from trying to not burst into tears and clenching my jaw…I think I drooled a lot. Was that seriously a sentence?? A sh*t one if I ever saw one.

So after, I was a bit emotional. It felt like my face had been hit with a kickball about 45 times. And I must have been emotional. I literally listened to the same Adele song prooooobably 34 times. Too bad I’m not joking. It was on replay. I tried listening to other songs and got bored within 26 seconds. My life story with men as well. If you don’t like this song, well you suck. I wish I had feelings like Adele does. Then maybe I could make millions too.

Anyone else notice how many times I’ve said times in this blog? Overwhelming.

While listening to Adele rock my world, food consumption occurred.

  • 3:30pm Emotional eating occurrence: 1 egg bake square, 5-6 tbsp homemade chocolate cashew butter…oops 🙂

The next few hours were filled with lots more computer time. This time with Mumford & Sons. That band reminds me of a crush I used to have. Cute man. Real cute.

  • 7:00pm Dinner: 1 sweet potato, 4 slices bacon, 1 can of sardines in olive oil-cooked all together.

Don’t try consuming this much. I was a bit full after. Full meaning I had a food baby. That’s actually one of my hidden talents, I can make myself look pregnant. Food or no food. You learn something new about me every day!!I just burped sardines.

Then Laura wanted chocolate almond butter while we watched Cupcake Wars! I know what you’re thinking, ‘come on Juli, you know it was you who wanted it’ and surpisingly, I wasn’t actually craving it for once. So I made it for her…and ate a lot of it. Come on now, like you didn’t know that was going to happen. I knew it would too. Especially when I’m eating with Laura. I eat 85% of what is there. I probably ate….guestimating….5-7 tablespoons. Definitely would not recommend. Unless I made if for you, of course.

Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.


49 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of JB”

  1. Pretty much I love every single post you have ever posted. Also you remind me of me. Wait, that's about to sound really egomaniacal. Here is why. You are strong as HELL. You don't even try to pretend that you don't love food and love to eat. You are way too critical of yourself.

    I was just describing me, too. Only I don't CrossFit (yet) because it intimidates me so we differ on that one.

    BUT, I have pinned just about all your recipes on Pinterest for the Whole30 my husband and I are about to do. So that's also pretty sweet.

  2. I concur with BB above…i really needed to find something like this blog to look forward to each day to help me on my Paleo journey. I really would like to know how old you are so I can see if my goal to look as fantastic as you is obtainable…I am 44 🙂
    If i have to eat sardines count me out.YICK. My dislike is also the reason I don't take fish oil supp's. I can't STAND burping that sh*t up. Bacon a second time around i can handle…not the little fish strips.
    I also have a question, someone at CF this morning told me that eating Paleo isn't the right diet (hate the word diet-LIFESTYLE is better) if you want to lose weight…it is very similar to Atkins and I have lost a shit ton eating this way…however, i would really like to lose fat and gain more muscle…i actually don't care what the scale says as long as i am back in my size 6 clothes that are gathering dust in my closet. I am a size 10 currently.
    Ok, i am done with my babble. Too much coffee this morning…
    Have a great day and thank you for all you do!

  3. 4:30am is too early to be alive!! I need to know what time you go to bed in order to get enough sleep and be able to wake up that early. And 2 (I realize there was no 1 but this is my 2nd point) I want deer steak!

  4. Steve Parsoneault

    Julie – funny post as usual, and i respect any woman who eats deer meat for breakfast (!) – where are you getting that stuff?

    PS – i expected better than "saute of canned sardines" for dinner. I know they're good for you and all but eff, that sounds desperate 😉

  5. BB- Thanks for pinning my recipes!! I really appreciate that! God pinterest is addictive. I really do love to eat more than most people. No need to act otherwise lol. Thanks for all the support 🙂 Do CrossFit. You won't regret it!

  6. Kristen- I am a whopping 23 years old. I know, getting up there. Lol no need to eat sardines, that was actually my first can ever last night. And you should try the Purepharma Fish oil brand I mentioned in my blog, I NEVER get fish burps!! Paleo is a great way to lose weight. The zone diet with paleo foods helped me lose weight back in the day. Email me (my email is on my about me page) if you have more in depth questions and we can chat about all that!

  7. Fiona- I went to bed at 1:30 before I was up at 4:30 but I'm usually in bed by 10:30 or 11pm. Deer steak is awesome! You have to try it!

    1. Ok, so I have been on your site all day.
      Just heard, for the first time, of Crossift today.
      Crossfit research led me to you.
      And it was this comment in particular about four hours later…well like two…that has led me to the conclusion…you are my HERO! So obsessed right now!
      I REALLY want to try Crossfit. I am super puny in the upper arm department though. That’s not really information that you need…just saying.
      Wow. My POINT is…you ROCK! Gave me a much needed boost of motivation and courage today.

  8. Steve- Just had another deer steak for breakfast! A friend actually gave it to me. He has land in another steak and hunts and butchers it himself.
    Lol and as for the sardines, I wanted to try them! That was my first time and I loved them!! I really only wanted bacon and sweet potatoes last night but thought I should add a lil more protein in there…quick fix lol

  9. I hate those 400m runs as well, but hey they are better than 800m! Loved all the recipes and willl try ordering the Fish Oil from the Pharma site next time, love that I need to take less pills with this one!

  10. Juli,

    Please let me know when your website is set up and I will change the links on My Athletic Life to point at the right place.


  11. Kristen, I'm jumping to this chat, since I'm 44. I started Paleo over a year ago. I was pretty thin from doing caloric deprivation dieting. I was pretty terrified of gaining weight. So, I did what everyone else did at our Crossfit gym….Paleo and I lost inches, but gained weight per the dreaded scale. Good news is that I currently have gained 11ish pounds and LOST 7% body fat and I recently PR'd all my power lifts. Juli's post from July "finding my inner strength" changed how I look at my eating, how my clothes fit, and my crossfit workouts. (not without a hell of a lot of tears!). Whatever path you choose, you can't go wrong with Juli and all her awesome food and humor! Wendy T.

  12. Love your blog! My husband and I have gone paleo in the last few months and have used many of your recipes. I love that they are managable, attainable, and always very good!

    thanks so much!! I will be pinning much of your stuff!

  13. This shit is tight. I’ve recommended a bazillion of your recipes over the past 5 months I’ve been paleo and have a mean and leaning wolfpack that are all about it. Thanks for the ramblings and the great food. Now I might be inspired to work out at that ungodly early hour. Maybe.

  14. I am new to your site. I have been sitting here for the last hour (ignoring the laundry sitting next to me that needs to be folded and out away, and while my kids terrorize my house) reading ALL of your blogs! OMG, you are awesome! I have been laughing all morning and becoming more inspired at the same time! I am ‘trying’ to become paleo/primal but, am failing. I KNOW I need to do this but, I dont think I am strong enough, especially with a husband and 3 kids who make it more difficult..haha!
    However, after readying all of this, I think I am ready to take the plunge and work through my fears of giving up the ‘drugs’ and do this 100% (not 40-50% like I have been)
    Thank you for helping me! ( I think I totally rambled through this comment…Oops LOL!)

    1. You can do it Lisa!! Baby steps. Just start taking little things out of your (and your family) life and before you know it, you will be paleo! That’s how I did it!!

  15. The Paleo lfestyle was given to me and hubby by our grown children. They asked us to love ourselves by committing to this lifestyle for 30 days and go from there…Facebook brought me to your site and (as if you haven’t heard) Your GREAT! Love your words and can’t wait to start making your recipes. I’m almost 50, egad fat and entering a half marathon in May (to celebrate the official milestone). Thanks for taking the time to being so inspirational!

  16. Thoroughly enjoying your sight (for the first time) this beautiful Sunday morning. My friend Christina from Crossfitjenks in Oklahoma suggested checking you out. I just started crossfit about three months ago after my brother called me and told me to quit doing all those stupid diets…”this is our thing.” if you crossfit you know what that means. You have to have that inner voice that says “keep going you want to look like that skinny b*tch across the room from you” LOL!!! The diet part is what is holding me back 🙁 I have three kids and a husband that are SKINNY!! One child that is a sweet eating carnivore….meal time is a whip. I’m trying to eat healthy and trying to get as many calories stuffed into them as I can. You have inspired me. One step at a time and do what works. I hate starting something and feeling like a failure when I don’t do it perfectly. Thanks! Look forward to following you.

    1. SO glad I have inspired you Amy!!! Take everything one step at a time. I always felt like i was doing something wrong when I “failed” so I just started doing what worked for me and finally found my happiness. You do the same!

  17. Just found your site thanks to Heather Bergeron. It.Is.Awesome! Love your blog posts, it makes the drudgery of trying to find something my boys will eat that is Paleo, a little more entertaining. (If they eat any more grilled chicken and steak they are going to run away ) We do cheat onece in a while but, we are doing our best and feel much better. It definitely works!!

  18. Yup. I’m definitely in love with you. Where have all these amazing recipes been my entire life?! Sheesh. Consider yourself permanently stalked by this chick.

    1. Now you have recipes for the rest of your life Kate! I’m not going anywhere 🙂 glad to have you as my stalker. I’ll stalk ya back. Cool? cool.

  19. Not even remotely related… for the most part. But WHAT brand is that headband you’re wearing in the top photo? I have one, I love it, I want another… I CANT FIND THEM.

  20. I’ve just started the CrossFit/Paleo lifestyle in January. My CrossFit 816 coach was wearing one of your shirts one day, so of course I creeped her facebook until I found your site. I love everything you post. I am the only one in my family who eats remotely healthy, let alone Paleo. You are an inspiration to eat right and train hard to get to the Games one day! I sincerely appreciate your humor, and I may or may not have a girl crush on you. That is all. 🙂

  21. “I just burped sardines.” I think I love you. Just found your blog, just started eating (mostly) Paleo (shut up, working on 95%), and will start CrossFit in July. You better keep blogging because I need strong b*tches like you in my life. You’re awesome, thanks.

  22. First things first. i love your blog. like seriously love! Creppy? Maybe but i do. Is there a special recipe for your almond butter around here somewhere or is it just plain almonds? Are they raw or roasted? (Is that to many questions?) I made some last night with raw almonds and think it tastes weird. it sticks to my mouth and I’m scared it may kill me! Help J.B. does this happen to you?!

    1. I use roasted almonds because they’ll give off a bit more oil AND they have a richer deep flavor. But I also add in almond or coconut oil to get it a creamy consistency.

  23. Hello!!
    Stumbled upon this blog a couple days ago and I absolutely fricken hooked!!
    I tried to send you an email but this computer at work sucks and it won’t open a window with your email address! If you can let me know what it is – I have questions about become successful with cross-fit – how to avoid injury, etc.
    I have a membership at a newly turned cross-fit gym that ran mostly bootcamps before but has since become more of a cross-fit gym – I have been doing the bootcamps and am super intimidated by crossfit but it looks like so much fun – I am going to try a beginner fundamentals class this Friday!
    They sold the primal blueprint at the gym and I picked it up and am in love with the paleo lifestyle!!

    I am so happy I found your blog!! Love it!!
    Hope to connect with you via email and get some tips about starting a cross-fit lifestyle in conjunction with my paleo lifestyle!!



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