A Day in the Life of JB

JB is me. You’re slow.

I have big news. HUGE NEWS. Like, the most exciting news you’ll hear all day!!! Ready?? Ok, PaleOMG is getting a face lift. No not me, even though I should consider it (I’m kidding, jesus) but the website is getting a little nip/tuck. Did you ever watch that show? Holy sh*t, addictive drama. Were you just disappointed that was the huge news? My b.

Anywho, the website will be changing. Nothing drastic. It will just be much easier to navigate. Easy to print recipes. Easy to find recipes. Easy to see more obnoxious rants. I’m doing this for you people!! I like all of you who read my blog…like a lot. Like more than nut butter a lot. You make my world go round. But seriously, to anyone who has laughed at me and my stories, been annoyed by my stories but still read on, or tried and hopefully enjoyed one of my recipes, I love you. Beautiful souls, you are.

So what that means is my new website will be https://paleomg.com instead of blogspot.com. I’m working on my website right now with one of the most intelligent programmers I have ever met. This man knows his stuff. I feel bad for him when he has to chat with me about computer stuff. He must feel like he’s talking to an egg yolk sometimes. Poor man. But as soon as the site is all done, I’ll let you know what changes will occur. DON’T WORRY, change is fun. I changed from wearing pants to wearing shorts today. So daring. Good thing I’m nice and pale right now or the people driving down Broadway wouldn’t have been able to spot me. Gross. I hate pale legs.

Conclusion: New website coming. Be excited! Not pee-yourself-excited, but really excited. I will keep you updated with any changes that occur in the next few days. I think I just peed.
_______________________
So a wonderful reader recently asked what my diet looked like in a regular day. I thought it would be fun to look at what I ate. And take pictures of it. My days are seriously always so different that what I ate today may look completely different tomorrow.

So let’s chat about my day because you know it was ridiculously interesting. That was a lie. I’m such a bore.

• 4:30am Happy time-I usually sip this while sitting on the toilet (don’t be gross) staring at the wall, waiting for my brain to function. I’m usually on the toilet since I’m about to do my makeup, just FYI: 1 cup of coffee with 1 tbsp canned coconut milk
• 6:00am Coaching at CrossFit Broadway
• Then it’s onto computer fun time. Have you checked out my Twitter yet?! Or my Facebook page?! Come on now. You should. No one follows me, some people like me. NOW YOU CAN. Lucky bastard, you are. Don’t worry though, all that stuff will be much easier to find with my new website!!! BOOM.

• 8:00am Breakfast:3 oz deer steak, 1/4 avocado, 1/2 apple sauteed in coconut oil with a sprinkle of almond flour and cinnamon

• 8:30am Heaven: 1 cup of coffee with 1 tbsp canned coconut milk

• 9:30am Snackaroo: 2 slices of roasted kabocha squash

10:00am wod with Jason at CrossFit Broadway. 400m runs sucks ass ball.

• 12:00pm Lunch:3 oz deer steak, 3 slices of kabocha squash,1/4 avocado

Then I had my skin appointment. I’ve mentioned many times about my fight with pre-pubescent boy acne. It blows ass. I hate acne. SO I’ve been putting myself through some miserable pain. Totally worth it though. My skin guru has been shoving needles into my face, shocking me with some kind of electricity like feels like I took a shirt out of the dryer to rub the static electricity on my wounds…1,000 times, and then  doing around 23 facial masks on me…while I slept because I was so exhausted from trying to not burst into tears and clenching my jaw…I think I drooled a lot. Was that seriously a sentence?? A sh*t one if I ever saw one.

So after, I was a bit emotional. It felt like my face had been hit with a kickball about 45 times. And I must have been emotional. I literally listened to the same Adele song prooooobably 34 times. Too bad I’m not joking. It was on replay. I tried listening to other songs and got bored within 26 seconds. My life story with men as well. If you don’t like this song, well you suck. I wish I had feelings like Adele does. Then maybe I could make millions too.

Anyone else notice how many times I’ve said times in this blog? Overwhelming.

While listening to Adele rock my world, food consumption occurred.

• 3:30pm Emotional eating occurrence: 1 egg bake square, 5-6 tbsp homemade chocolate cashew butter…oops 🙂

The next few hours were filled with lots more computer time. This time with Mumford & Sons. That band reminds me of a crush I used to have. Cute man. Real cute.

• 7:00pm Dinner: 1 sweet potato, 4 slices bacon, 1 can of sardines in olive oil-cooked all together.

Don’t try consuming this much. I was a bit full after. Full meaning I had a food baby. That’s actually one of my hidden talents, I can make myself look pregnant. Food or no food. You learn something new about me every day!!I just burped sardines.

Then Laura wanted chocolate almond butter while we watched Cupcake Wars! I know what you’re thinking, ‘come on Juli, you know it was you who wanted it’ and surpisingly, I wasn’t actually craving it for once. So I made it for her…and ate a lot of it. Come on now, like you didn’t know that was going to happen. I knew it would too. Especially when I’m eating with Laura. I eat 85% of what is there. I probably ate….guestimating….5-7 tablespoons. Definitely would not recommend. Unless I made if for you, of course.