What a stupid name.

These bite size morsels of happiness are divine. And a perfect party platter appetizer. I ate them as a meal because I don’t like social situations. But if you like parties, and people, you should totally make these.

My allergies have become a sh*tshow. Even more of a sh*tshow than I was on Saturday at the bar. You see, I babysat a dog part of Saturday and for some reason, she has become the reason I can’t even think. I’m in a haze. She was in my car that day so every time I get in my car now, I can’t stop sneezing. I can’t breathe either. Am I dying? No. I just now know I cannot ever own a golden retriever. Ever. I would be in constant stuffy nose pain. Too bad. She was probably the sweetest dog I’ve ever met.

Thank god I lost my sense of smell though. I cleaned out about 10 pieces of tupperware from our fridge yesterday. 3 girls + 1 household = grosseness. I saw black mold. I saw green mold. I saw fuzzy mold. I saw creamy mold. Yeah, I just said creamy. Cantaloupe molding = creamy mold. I saw it with my own eyes. When sh*t gets that nasty in tupperware, I usually just throw it out. But tupperware is expensive. And I’m poor.

Guess what I’m doing?! Ok so since I’ve cut out nuts for a couple weeks now, I’ve decided to try the 21 day sugar detox by Balanced Bites. Why not? I love her and her site, so might as well trust her right!? Well, that’s not really why I’m doing it. It’s more to see if I can cut the sugar cravings. I craved nuts like crazy (go on and giggle, you’re hilarious) when I ate them a bunch, but now I don’t even think about them. Same thing with the sweets. I crave them because I have them too much. So I’m cutting out all sugars, including fruit for the next 21 days. I’ve gotten through one day so far and I haven’t fallen off the wagon! NBD. I am honestly doing this to just be healthier. I don’t expect or really want to lose weight, I just want to feel in control and not really crave sweets. What I do expect though, is to be taller, prettier, and extremely hilarious when I’m done with these 21 days. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll be eating a bag of chocolate chips every night for 21 days to make up for the bullsh*t that I pushed upon myself and the 21 days of happiness I missed out on. Nuts AND fruit?! What the hell am I going to cook this weekend when I’m not out at the bars?! Blasphemy.

I miss bananas.

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  • Prep Time: 5 mins
  • Cook Time: 10 mins
  • Total Time: 15 minutes


  • 12 button mushrooms, wiped of any dirt and stems removed
  • 1/2lb italian sausage
  • 1 egg white
  • 1/41/2 cup pizza sauce or no sugar added marinara sauce


  1. Turn on your grill so it’s hot. Make sense.
  2. Wipe down your mushrooms and remove stems. Then place them stem side up on a plate.
  3. Throw your italian sausage in a bowl along with your egg white. Use your hands to combine it all together.
  4. Then make tablespoon size balls of the meat mixture and plop them into the cap of the mushrooms.
  5. Place on top rack of grill and cook for about 8-10 minutes or until sausage is cooked through.
  6. Top each mushroom and sausage cap with either hot or cold pizza/marinara sauce!
  7. Stick a toothpick in it and EAT IT. Careful, these b*tches get wicked hot.

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  1. Debbie says:

    I left the recipe open and then didn’t look at it, I thought it said 1/4 of sausage forgot the egg whites but guess what they turned out divine. I did them in the oven 375 20 minutes took them out put sauce on top and then a tiny bit of parmesan cheese on top then broiled for a minute. I ate the whole thing so maybe it was good I only used 1/4 pound of sausage. I love your recipes, every single one that I have tried. Thank you so much. It doesn’t hurt that you are funny either. I laugh every day I read your blog.