What a stupid name.

These bite size morsels of happiness are divine. And a perfect party platter appetizer. I ate them as a meal because I don’t like social situations. But if you like parties, and people, you should totally make these.

My allergies have become a sh*tshow. Even more of a sh*tshow than I was on Saturday at the bar. You see, I babysat a dog part of Saturday and for some reason, she has become the reason I can’t even think. I’m in a haze. She was in my car that day so every time I get in my car now, I can’t stop sneezing. I can’t breathe either. Am I dying? No. I just now know I cannot ever own a golden retriever. Ever. I would be in constant stuffy nose pain. Too bad. She was probably the sweetest dog I’ve ever met.

Thank god I lost my sense of smell though. I cleaned out about 10 pieces of tupperware from our fridge yesterday. 3 girls + 1 household = grosseness. I saw black mold. I saw green mold. I saw fuzzy mold. I saw creamy mold. Yeah, I just said creamy. Cantaloupe molding = creamy mold. I saw it with my own eyes. When sh*t gets that nasty in tupperware, I usually just throw it out. But tupperware is expensive. And I’m poor.

Guess what I’m doing?! Ok so since I’ve cut out nuts for a couple weeks now, I’ve decided to try the 21 day sugar detox by Balanced Bites. Why not? I love her and her site, so might as well trust her right!? Well, that’s not really why I’m doing it. It’s more to see if I can cut the sugar cravings. I craved nuts like crazy (go on and giggle, you’re hilarious) when I ate them a bunch, but now I don’t even think about them. Same thing with the sweets. I crave them because I have them too much. So I’m cutting out all sugars, including fruit for the next 21 days. I’ve gotten through one day so far and I haven’t fallen off the wagon! NBD. I am honestly doing this to just be healthier. I don’t expect or really want to lose weight, I just want to feel in control and not really crave sweets. What I do expect though, is to be taller, prettier, and extremely hilarious when I’m done with these 21 days. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll be eating a bag of chocolate chips every night for 21 days to make up for the bullsh*t that I pushed upon myself and the 21 days of happiness I missed out on. Nuts AND fruit?! What the hell am I going to cook this weekend when I’m not out at the bars?! Blasphemy.

I miss bananas.

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5 from 3 reviews

  • Prep Time: 5 mins
  • Cook Time: 10 mins
  • Total Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients

Scale
  • 12 button mushrooms, wiped of any dirt and stems removed
  • 1/2lb italian sausage
  • 1 egg white
  • 1/41/2 cup pizza sauce or no sugar added marinara sauce

Instructions

  1. Turn on your grill so it’s hot. Make sense.
  2. Wipe down your mushrooms and remove stems. Then place them stem side up on a plate.
  3. Throw your italian sausage in a bowl along with your egg white. Use your hands to combine it all together.
  4. Then make tablespoon size balls of the meat mixture and plop them into the cap of the mushrooms.
  5. Place on top rack of grill and cook for about 8-10 minutes or until sausage is cooked through.
  6. Top each mushroom and sausage cap with either hot or cold pizza/marinara sauce!
  7. Stick a toothpick in it and EAT IT. Careful, these b*tches get wicked hot.

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baby fell down. ok i’m kidding, i pushed it.

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54 Comments

  1. Rebekah says:

    I’ve done the detox twice (levels 1 and 2), and am now a moderator for the FB page. The first few days are definitely the roughest, but there is still so much delicious food you can enjoy. Just keep those choco-chips out of the house–those little demons will mess you up! Best of luck! And your “babies” look delicious! I’ll be eating some soon…

  2. Marisol says:

    I did the detox and it makes you feel and look awesome. I think I needed a longer detox because I have a huge sweet tooth and eat too many paleo treats and lots of fruit. Once I was off it, I reverted back to my old ways (not unhealthy, but higher in carbs). I think I’ll try Whole 30 next, or maybe a Whole60 to get rid of my habit of wanting something sweet after meals. Good luck with your detox. You will love the results!

  3. Camila Frausto says:

    Have you ever tried L-Glutamine for sugar cravings? I followed Julia Ross’s Diet Cure protocol (for ED/mood disorder recovery, but it also works for, well, anything balance-related). Instantly zaps those cravings when I am overworked/overtired/nutrient depleted. Those are the only times I get cravings.

  4. shanel says:

    what do you do with the mushroom stems?

    1. juli says:

      I usually just throw them away but you could use them in an omelet or something else!

  5. Dayna says:

    Yum! Thoughts on serving these cold?

    1. juli says:

      i think anything is good cold so i’m not the best to ask. so yes!

  6. Nicole says:

    I love your blog, you are hilarious! These pizza bites look great, will be trying them out this week!

  7. Nicole says:

    Oh, and I am on day 7 of strict paleo and no sugar. Its been pretty good, I’ve been organized with having lots of protein and veg prepared. Olives and pickles have been great snacks!

  8. Janine says:

    I’ve loved all your recipes so far, but I must say your blog is one of the few I actually take the time to read the post and enjoy it instead of just skipping to the recipe. =]

  9. Tabby says:

    Made this for the first time last night for a Paleo potluck at our box and they were a hit! My new go to appetizer recipe! Thanks for another great recipe!






  10. Megan says:

    These were so yummy! Baked in the oven but took like 20 mins at 375 for me. Then added mozz cheese on top for 5 more mins, and put marinara on side for dipping. Delicious, thanks!