So here’s the thing…I never buy collard greens. Like, ever. I don’t know why, I guess there are just other greens that interest me more. BUT, after eating at 24Diner in Austin and holding back from getting fries, I ordered their bacon braised collard greens and I was absolutely blown away with how good it was. Seriously blow away. And they give you the biggest heap full that you are left wanting to eat more, but don’t have any room for it. It was so damn good. Which inspired me to buy some collard greens and go at it myself. I can’t say it’s as good, but I’ll say it’s as good. Wait, what?!?

Moving on. If you know me well or if you barely know me at all, you know I hate sports. I hate that people get obsessed with them and hate that people hate other people because they like a different team. I hate when people talk sh*t to others and scream *WHORE* while walking through the street with the opposing teams shirt on. Yes, that literally happened to me. I was walking to the CU vs. CSU game in Boulder one year when I was in college and had a guy yell whore at me because I was a Ram and not a Buff. I think sports sh*t is flat out whacko. How do people put so much energy into something they aren’t even a part of? You’re yelling obscenities at a player who you will never even meet face to face and who makes about 2o3249208 million more a year than you? Real cool, big guy.

Ok, but back to my point. I’m getting distracted. Ok, so I’m going to a wedding on Saturday night for one of my girlfriends. Of course, all the guys are pooping their pants about watching the Mayweather vs Pacquiao fight that night so the bride being the great person she is, ordered it for all the tv’s at the reception. She’s a kind woman. When my fiancé started talking about it the other night, I just rolled my eyes. Him being intent on changing my perception of the fight, he put on the HBO special about the 7 years leading up to this fight. He knows that if I have a backstory and can connect with the athlete, I’ll be more interested. I’m a sucker for inspirational stories. Man, was he right. I’m pumped for this fight now. It’s all I keep talking to people about. Like one of those crazy people I just talked about. But can someone please explain to me why anyone would want Mayweather to win?? Explain it to me. Because from what I’ve seen, he’s incredibly rude, arrogant and then I just found out he had domestic violence charges from his ex-wife. WTFWTF. One of the greatest fighters in the world who has knocked people out actually hit his wife. Why would anyone want that terrible man to win? Man, I’m so jazzed about this right now. He’s just the worst.

Speaking of weddings, I have 3 to go to this summer and still haven’t planned any of our own. We were in the planning process, decided on Jamaica, decided on a hotel, changed our mind about the date then BOOM, a house came up and all of our money was gone. So booking the hotel in Jamaica right now just isn’t happening. Our friends keep asking for dates so they can save up or I guess book a babysitter a year ahead of time, but we still know nothing. And honestly, I don’t know when the hell we will be able to afford it with trying to decorate the house. Is this why people get married THEN buy a house? So they put couches and dining tables and rugs on their registry? Those people are smart. HOW ARE RUGS $400??? YOU WALK ON THEM!!!! Blasphemy, I tell you.

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Bacon Braised Collard Greens

  • Yield: 3 1x

Ingredients

Scale
  • 1/2 pound bacon, diced
  • 5 garlic cloves, smashed and thinly sliced
  • 2 shallots, thinly sliced
  • 2 large bunches of collard greens, stems removed and roughly chopped
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons fine sea salt
  • 2 cups chicken stock
  • 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
  • 2 bay leaves

Instructions

  1. Place a large dutch oven over medium heat. Add bacon and cook until crispy. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside on a paper towel to soak up excess fat.
  2. Place garlic and shallots in the dutch oven and scrap the bottom with a wooden spoon. Cook for about 10 minutes, until fragrant and browned.
  3. Add greens along with chopped bacon, salt, chicken stock, balsamic vinegar, and bay leaves. Mix to combine.
  4. Cover and let cook for 30 minutes.
  5. Remove lid and let cook for another 10 minutes to help the liquid evaporate before serving.

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44 Comments

  1. Rosita says:

    Julie! You gotta drag this one back up to everyone’s attention. I made it today, and it is just fantastic. Everyone needs this recipe for the odd times they make collards!

    1. juli says:

      i definitely will!! thanks for reminding me that i need to make it again!

  2. Abby Riddle says:

    Is there a way to make this recipe if you don’t have a Dutch Oven? Maybe the Instant Pot?

    1. juli says:

      you could definitely make it in a normal pot, the dutch oven just regulates the temperature better. i’m sure they could also be made in an instant pot, i just haven’t tried it that way so i can’t give you instructions sadly