So here’s the thing…I never buy collard greens. Like, ever. I don’t know why, I guess there are just other greens that interest me more. BUT, after eating at 24Diner in Austin and holding back from getting fries, I ordered their bacon braised collard greens and I was absolutely blown away with how good it was. Seriously blow away. And they give you the biggest heap full that you are left wanting to eat more, but don’t have any room for it. It was so damn good. Which inspired me to buy some collard greens and go at it myself. I can’t say it’s as good, but I’ll say it’s as good. Wait, what?!?

Moving on. If you know me well or if you barely know me at all, you know I hate sports. I hate that people get obsessed with them and hate that people hate other people because they like a different team. I hate when people talk sh*t to others and scream *WHORE* while walking through the street with the opposing teams shirt on. Yes, that literally happened to me. I was walking to the CU vs. CSU game in Boulder one year when I was in college and had a guy yell whore at me because I was a Ram and not a Buff. I think sports sh*t is flat out whacko. How do people put so much energy into something they aren’t even a part of? You’re yelling obscenities at a player who you will never even meet face to face and who makes about 2o3249208 million more a year than you? Real cool, big guy.

Ok, but back to my point. I’m getting distracted. Ok, so I’m going to a wedding on Saturday night for one of my girlfriends. Of course, all the guys are pooping their pants about watching the Mayweather vs Pacquiao fight that night so the bride being the great person she is, ordered it for all the tv’s at the reception. She’s a kind woman. When my fiancé started talking about it the other night, I just rolled my eyes. Him being intent on changing my perception of the fight, he put on the HBO special about the 7 years leading up to this fight. He knows that if I have a backstory and can connect with the athlete, I’ll be more interested. I’m a sucker for inspirational stories. Man, was he right. I’m pumped for this fight now. It’s all I keep talking to people about. Like one of those crazy people I just talked about. But can someone please explain to me why anyone would want Mayweather to win?? Explain it to me. Because from what I’ve seen, he’s incredibly rude, arrogant and then I just found out he had domestic violence charges from his ex-wife. WTFWTF. One of the greatest fighters in the world who has knocked people out actually hit his wife. Why would anyone want that terrible man to win? Man, I’m so jazzed about this right now. He’s just the worst.

Speaking of weddings, I have 3 to go to this summer and still haven’t planned any of our own. We were in the planning process, decided on Jamaica, decided on a hotel, changed our mind about the date then BOOM, a house came up and all of our money was gone. So booking the hotel in Jamaica right now just isn’t happening. Our friends keep asking for dates so they can save up or I guess book a babysitter a year ahead of time, but we still know nothing. And honestly, I don’t know when the hell we will be able to afford it with trying to decorate the house. Is this why people get married THEN buy a house? So they put couches and dining tables and rugs on their registry? Those people are smart. HOW ARE RUGS $400??? YOU WALK ON THEM!!!! Blasphemy, I tell you.

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Bacon Braised Collard Greens

5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star

4.7 from 3 reviews

  • Yield: 3 1x

Ingredients

Scale
  • 1/2 pound bacon, diced
  • 5 garlic cloves, smashed and thinly sliced
  • 2 shallots, thinly sliced
  • 2 large bunches of collard greens, stems removed and roughly chopped
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons fine sea salt
  • 2 cups chicken stock
  • 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
  • 2 bay leaves

Instructions

  1. Place a large dutch oven over medium heat. Add bacon and cook until crispy. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside on a paper towel to soak up excess fat.
  2. Place garlic and shallots in the dutch oven and scrap the bottom with a wooden spoon. Cook for about 10 minutes, until fragrant and browned.
  3. Add greens along with chopped bacon, salt, chicken stock, balsamic vinegar, and bay leaves. Mix to combine.
  4. Cover and let cook for 30 minutes.
  5. Remove lid and let cook for another 10 minutes to help the liquid evaporate before serving.

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44 Comments

  1. Morgan says:

    Rugs are crazy expensive! My thoughts were the same as yours too…. I just put it on the floor and that’s it… why does it cost $2,000. Home Ownership is a real blast. 🙂

  2. Emily K. says:

    We were in the same situation as you – we bought a house and didn’t have any money left for a wedding! After a lot of back and forth, we decided to keep getting married super simple – we got married at the courthouse with our closest friends and family members present and then went out and had a posh dinner afterwards. We had the best time and spent less than $1,000 (that’s including the marriage license & the judge). I have no regrets at keeping it intimate. We decided to hold off on a honeymoon for the time being and use any extra money for things for the house. Again – no regrets!

  3. Carlos Weil says:

    Nice recipe, thanks

  4. Bree says:

    I love your random posts and your awesome recipes! The recipes are always simple and sooo good! I don’t have a dutch oven. What would you suggest to use instead? Can’t wait to try this!

    1. juli says:

      you could do it in a stock pot as well!

  5. Sabrina says:

    This recipe looks amazing! I just wanted to let you know your “print recipe” thing doesn’t have a picture on the page that prints out.
    It looks like it will but then nothing on the PDF that pops up.
    George’s blog has the pictures that print so i just wanted to mention it in case it’s a glitch you didn’t know about. 🙂






    1. juli says:

      thats strange because it’s working from my end! on two computers and from a phone

    2. Kathy Z says:

      The picture never prints for me either… I am not sure why.

  6. Mary Richter says:

    I rarely if ever buy collards. Since relocating from NY to SC I grow my own. Had I known about them in NY , I probably could have grown them there. They grow like weeds here. They are a cool weather green. I let a few go to seed then they reseed themselves all over my garden.

  7. Lindsay says:

    Check out rugsusa.com They always have awesome sales and have every style/color you could imagine. We just ordered a rug from there and it’s great quality.

  8. kenny says:

    i really like these recipe on your page :)keep it up !
    I was 70 kg at first and now i am 55Kg, 5 kg to go.
    I always support your recipies with 1000 paleo recipes that i recently read and buy from gamercook.com

  9. Juli says:

    Ok – this recipie looks awesome and can’t wait to try it. So glad that you brought up the domestic violence charges against Floyd and that we should not be supporting this fight because of his behavior. Finally it’s great to find another Juli with no “e”. 😉

    1. juli says:

      i just don’t understand how that’s never brought up or talked about. it makes no sense! yay, love when i see that spelling!

  10. Dawn says:

    OMG, these were delicious. I actually didn’t make them with collard greens though. I had mustard greens and kale in the fridge so I used those. I will never cook greens any other way again! Thanks!