I’m sitting in the living room right now, black sports bra and Lulu pants on, hair dye slicked through my hair like I ran grease through it. Or W-D40. Oh, I’m also eating a steak while sitting on the floor. I’m so weird. And I tend to get my hair dye everywhere when I dye it myself. I have it on my shoulder right now. Most likely on my back, which will be there for at least 3-4 days. Cool.
Why do hair stylists have to be so expensive? And why do people keep having to steal my credit card online? And go buy things at Disney World? It’s so inconsiderate. That’s where you spend my money? At the happiest place on earth? That’s just rude bro. And please do not email me and tell me ways to prevent credit card theft. I know them all…obviously. Credit card theft is so mean. Especially when your funds are limited like mine. I was going to feed all my readers with that money. Karma’s a b*tch bro. Just sayin’.
This weekend was pretty damn fun. Pretty much because it was all based around food. Birthday lunch for one of my best buddies Jake (he turned 30, what a stud), then 2 BBQ’s at our house, then Laura and I made pretty much every dessert under the sun. Lots of red meat consumed, many beers and bottles of alcohol thrown back, and lots of tan lines…or burns. Days in the park, followed by evenings in the back yard, and finished off with nights in the living room…I.LOVE.COLORADO. And I love my friends. Have you started to follow me on instagram yet @paleomg? I’m seriously an instagram feed now. It makes me feel like I know how to take pictures. Clever lil device.
I figured out a couple things this weekend:
- I have to start getting pedicures. Damnit. I hate being a girl. And having feet.
- I like steak WAY more than I thought. Paired with asparagus…even if it makes my pee smell.
- I still hate running. But I gotta get that Lake Powell bod. Balls.
- If the right song comes on, I instantly want to go dancing. Meaning anything by B.o.B. right now. I feel so cool when his songs come on. Fly, to be exact.
- My ass finally fit into a pair of Old Navy jeans. Thank gosh. It’s hard acting like a normal person.
- I love this quote, “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” -Dr. Seuss.
So this recipe is stupid good. I’m not kidding. I was highly stoked about it. I based it off my banana bread recipe that I also tear up for whenever I make it. It’s kind of like eating a bakery, minus the gluten and bloating. I love fake bread. Ugh. Sometimes I talk WAY too much. Yeah, all the time.
Blueberry & Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Loaf
- Yield: 4-5 1x
Ingredients
- 1 medium banana (the browner, the better)
- 1/4 cup pureed pumpkin
- 1/4 cup blueberries
- 1/8 cup Enjoy Life chocolate chips or dark chocolate chips
- 1.5 cups roasted unsalted cashews
- 1 cup almond meal/flour
- 2 tablespoons walnut oil
- 2 eggs, whisked
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- Pull out your handy dandy food processor. It will make life soooo much easier. Add your cashews to the food processor to grind down.
- Once your get a fine cashew meal, add your walnut oil while your food processor is still on until you get a cashew butter.
- Then add your peeled banana and pureed pumpkin to your food processor with your cashews. Turn your food processor on and let combine for a minute or so until you have a soupy paste. Taste it. It’s stupid delicious.
- Now in a large bowl, whisk your eggs, then add your cashew/banana mixture along with almond meal/flour, baking soda and powder, honey, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and salt. Mix to combine until you get a batter.
- Now fold in your blueberries and chocolate chips.
- Grease a loaf pan with some coconut oil. I used a loaf pan that was 9×5 inches and it worked well. You could use smaller for taller loaf of bread, just may cook differently.
- Pour batter into your greased loaf pan. Place in oven and bake for 25-30 minutes or until bread is cooked through and the top of your loaf has a bit of a “crisp” to it.
- Let bread cool for about 10 minutes.
Notes
Be careful how many blueberries you add, it can get a bit too moist if you’re not careful.
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You into this? I bet you’ll love this!
Dark Chocolate Raspberry Chia Banana Bread
Moist Chocolate Zucchini Bread (nut free)
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This is basically all of my favorite things in loaf form…AWESOME! Can you taste the banana in the bread, though? I can’t get past the smell/taste of banana, it literally turns my stomach 🙁 Would it work with no banana and more pumpkin?
yeah you could try that Christine!
walnut oil? I’ll bet that is one of the fancy expensive ingredients that makes it magic;;;;;;I wish i was making money!!! argh life – I want to enjoy you but those with finer tastes require the moula!!
I subbed almond butter for the cashews and walnut oil and it worked out AMAZINGLY!! I also added another 1/4 cup of chocolate chips…m,mmmmmmmmm….
This looks effing AWESOME! I can’t wait to give it a shot. Do you think Avocado Oil would be okay to use instead of Walnut? It’s what I have, but I’m afraid it would mess with the flavor. You rock by the way! I LOVE reading your blog!
I think the flavor might be a bit weird…
I made this with 100% coconut cream because I didn’t have walnut oil or coconut oil. Still amazing!
Went to the store without the recipe and got everything EXCEPT the cashews!!! Any subs that would be okay? More almond meal/flour or coconut flour?
You would definitely need some kind of nut butter so if you have other nuts you could try that, cashews just work the best (at least for me)
how about sunflower seeds ground up?
sunbutter would probably work!
I made these as muffins last night sans pumpkin but added more bananas. My son officially declared 8 weeks ago he is off the “grain train”, he’s 11 and apparently he is trying to coin that phrase :). All he said to me this am when I gave him a muffin was “Mom, paleo is delicious and I love you” BOOM! so worth it!
Thanks for always posting kick ass recipes.
I was thinking that sweet potatoes or the japanese yams would work too
This was a great recipe!! I didn’t have blueberries so I used blackberries and my loaf pan was dirty so I made 12 muffins and they are delish!!! Love the chocolate lol! Thank you im loving your recipes!
Could you sub coconut oil in place of walnut oil?
I’m sure that would work just fine!
If a person wanted to use some premade cashew butter how much would you suggest using? Thanks!
Hi! Just checking for a response on my question about the measurement of premade nut butter one would sub in.
Thanks!
Hi Jaime,
Did you ever find out or try this recipe and did you find out what the sub of premade nut butter would be? I want to make this and wondering the same thing. Thanks!
Made this last night for boyfriend and I. Super, ridiculous, amazing recipe. Seriously. If I didn’t love you before, I sure as hell do now. We ate the entire thing.
The only changes I made were to add more blueberries (because nom) and we used coconut oil in place of walnut oil–it’s what we had on hand.
I will now make every tasty treat you post. New life goal.