I’m sitting in the living room right now, black sports bra and Lulu pants on, hair dye slicked through my hair like I ran grease through it. Or W-D40. Oh, I’m also eating a steak while sitting on the floor. I’m so weird. And I tend to get my hair dye everywhere when I dye it myself. I have it on my shoulder right now. Most likely on my back, which will be there for at least 3-4 days. Cool.
Why do hair stylists have to be so expensive? And why do people keep having to steal my credit card online? And go buy things at Disney World? It’s so inconsiderate. That’s where you spend my money? At the happiest place on earth? That’s just rude bro. And please do not email me and tell me ways to prevent credit card theft. I know them all…obviously. Credit card theft is so mean. Especially when your funds are limited like mine. I was going to feed all my readers with that money. Karma’s a b*tch bro. Just sayin’.
This weekend was pretty damn fun. Pretty much because it was all based around food. Birthday lunch for one of my best buddies Jake (he turned 30, what a stud), then 2 BBQ’s at our house, then Laura and I made pretty much every dessert under the sun. Lots of red meat consumed, many beers and bottles of alcohol thrown back, and lots of tan lines…or burns. Days in the park, followed by evenings in the back yard, and finished off with nights in the living room…I.LOVE.COLORADO. And I love my friends. Have you started to follow me on instagram yet @paleomg? I’m seriously an instagram feed now. It makes me feel like I know how to take pictures. Clever lil device.
I figured out a couple things this weekend:
- I have to start getting pedicures. Damnit. I hate being a girl. And having feet.
- I like steak WAY more than I thought. Paired with asparagus…even if it makes my pee smell.
- I still hate running. But I gotta get that Lake Powell bod. Balls.
- If the right song comes on, I instantly want to go dancing. Meaning anything by B.o.B. right now. I feel so cool when his songs come on. Fly, to be exact.
- My ass finally fit into a pair of Old Navy jeans. Thank gosh. It’s hard acting like a normal person.
- I love this quote, “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” -Dr. Seuss.
So this recipe is stupid good. I’m not kidding. I was highly stoked about it. I based it off my banana bread recipe that I also tear up for whenever I make it. It’s kind of like eating a bakery, minus the gluten and bloating. I love fake bread. Ugh. Sometimes I talk WAY too much. Yeah, all the time.
Blueberry & Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Loaf
- Yield: 4-5 1x
Ingredients
- 1 medium banana (the browner, the better)
- 1/4 cup pureed pumpkin
- 1/4 cup blueberries
- 1/8 cup Enjoy Life chocolate chips or dark chocolate chips
- 1.5 cups roasted unsalted cashews
- 1 cup almond meal/flour
- 2 tablespoons walnut oil
- 2 eggs, whisked
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- Pull out your handy dandy food processor. It will make life soooo much easier. Add your cashews to the food processor to grind down.
- Once your get a fine cashew meal, add your walnut oil while your food processor is still on until you get a cashew butter.
- Then add your peeled banana and pureed pumpkin to your food processor with your cashews. Turn your food processor on and let combine for a minute or so until you have a soupy paste. Taste it. It’s stupid delicious.
- Now in a large bowl, whisk your eggs, then add your cashew/banana mixture along with almond meal/flour, baking soda and powder, honey, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and salt. Mix to combine until you get a batter.
- Now fold in your blueberries and chocolate chips.
- Grease a loaf pan with some coconut oil. I used a loaf pan that was 9×5 inches and it worked well. You could use smaller for taller loaf of bread, just may cook differently.
- Pour batter into your greased loaf pan. Place in oven and bake for 25-30 minutes or until bread is cooked through and the top of your loaf has a bit of a “crisp” to it.
- Let bread cool for about 10 minutes.
Notes
Be careful how many blueberries you add, it can get a bit too moist if you’re not careful.
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You into this? I bet you’ll love this!
Dark Chocolate Raspberry Chia Banana Bread
Moist Chocolate Zucchini Bread (nut free)
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How many calories is this per serving?
No idea my dear. I’m not one to count calories. But there are websites out there that you can use to figure out the nutritional info!
I don’t like bananas. Can you substitute applesauce for the banana?
That may work! I’ve never tried it
Just discovered your site and am spreading the word through the Cross Fit gym here. Made this and LOVED. Going to add a few more blueberries next time – you said not to add too much but I think 1/2C would be okay vs. 1/4? Have you tried?
It might be a lil too much and make the loaf a lil too moist but I personally find nothing wrong with that so I still like it with the extra blueberries
This bread is amazing!! I used dried blueberries instead… my kids don’t like the texture of the real blueberries. Still delish!! 🙂 Thank you for these wonderful recipes!
Another great recipe – thanks Juli. A confession though – I used macadamia nut pieces instead of chocolate. Worked well.
I can’t wait to try this recipe. I made your “moist” zucchini chocolate bread the other day and it was amazing!!
How much store bought cashew butter should I use in this recipe?
Thanks!!
A little less than 1 cup
Love this! And my husband and I used that incredible Dr. Seuss quote in our wedding because….well, we’re weird too. xoxo
I made this recipe this morning, and I have to say that this is the best Paleo bread recipe I’ve made yet. The only changes I made were to double the cinnamon and to use frozen blueberries. The texture is perfect, and the taste is wonderful. Great job!
Making this weekend! Can’t wait! So excited to get more into the Paleo diet!
YUM. Is this recipe for high altitude, or do you suggest altering it? I think you’re in Denver (as am I!) and high altitude baking and I are mortal enemies.
Thank you!!