Broccoli Salad with Bacon
A while back, when were still allowed to see other human beings, my mom came over and brought a delicious broccoli salad. Thank you for the inspiration, mom. Now let me get one thing straight – I think raw broccoli is DISGUSTING. I remember watching this guy in college load a huge salad bowl up with raw mushrooms, raw broccoli, and raw cauliflower EVERY SINGLE DAY. It was horrifying. Why would you eat raw broccoli? Or cauliflower? Or mushrooms? Have you ever caramelized mushrooms? Or burnt broccoli in the oven? It’s about 4 billion times better than raw. Eating raw broccoli is like Kevin from the office eating it stem first. It’s just all disgusting. And most broccoli salads out there are made with raw broccoli and I hate it with all my might. But not this broccoli salad. This one is made with broccoli that has been blanched, so it’s slightly tender without being soggy. And it’s not raw, which means it’s not disgusting. You’re welcome.
Speaking of seeing people, how do you feel about the quarantine starting to end? It looks like restaurants here in Denver will begin to open at the end of this month, but I’m not sure I’m really ready to head back out. I’m thinking that I’ll let others be the guinea pigs and I’ll keep my distance at home. I saw all these videos of people at Lake of the Ozarks partying it up over Memorial Day weekend and that sh*t is crazy to me. Not only does drinking alcohol lower your immune system, but then you’re dumb AF and making out with a stranger. Or at least close-talking. I stopped going to bars because I couldn’t stand people talking close enough to my face that they could lick my nose. The last thing I want to know is how dehydrated a strangers mouth is, aka how bad their breath smells. But all these people in the Ozarks are doing it during a PANDEMIC. That’s some crazy shit right there.
Sure, I would love to be able to walk into a restaurant and have a meal or go to my favorite coffee shop to work, but I would also like to live. Or not spread it to a person who won’t live if they catch it. We all gotta do our part, right? Maybe I’m just a crabby ole bitch who doesn’t like drinking or crowds so I can easily judge. But I do like making out. Not with strangers at this point, but I had my time. And I’m very grateful that time wasn’t during a pandemic. How do you feel about crowds at this point? Are you ready to dive in mouth first or are you cool with staying home for the unforeseeable future?
Broccoli Salad with Bacon
- Prep Time: 10 minutes
- Cook Time: 18 minutes
- Total Time: 28 minutes
- Yield: 5-7 1x
- 1/2 pound bacon
- 24 ounces broccoli florets (~8-10 cups)*
- 1/4 red onion, thinly sliced
- 4 carrots, julienned
- 1/3 cup cranberries
- 1/3 cup sliced almonds
- 1/4 cup sunflower seeds
- 1 cup avocado oil mayo
- 3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 2 tablespoons poppyseeds
- 3 teaspoons salt**
- 1 teaspoon black pepper
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil or parchment paper then place then bacon on top. Place in the oven to bake for 15-18 minutes, until crispy. Once cooked through, chop into small pieces.
- Once the bacon begins to cook, place a large pot of water over high heat, cover, and bring to boil. Once boiling, add the broccoli and turn a timer on for 3 minutes. While the broccoli is boiling, add ice and water to a large bowl. Drain the broccoli and immediately put it in the ice water to stop the cooking process. Cool for 3 minutes then drain and pat dry.
- In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the avocado oil mayo, vinegar, honey, and poppyseeds. Add the broccoli along with the chopped bacon, red onion, carrots, cranberries, sliced almonds, and sunflower seeds. Then sprinkle salt and pepper throughout, tossing a bit to coat the entire dish evenly.
- Serve immediately or store in an airtight container for up to 5 days – it just gets more delicious with time!
*I purchased 2 12-ounce bags of broccoli florets to reduce prep time
**I like a good amount of salt, but you can always alter this to your preference
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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.
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