Stop what you’re doing and go make these. They will make your mouth dance. Whatever that means. But who cares what it means. These brownies are decadent, they are dairy-free and they are absolutely divine. If I give you one more D word, will you make them? Just DO it. See what I did there?
{ NEW COOKING VIDEO }
I know you’ve already spent a lot of time here watching my cooking video…right?! RIGHT?! Come on, man! I worked hard on that video just for you! Anywho, I know you’ve already spent a lot of time here watching my cooking video, but I have some stories for you. So.Many.Stories. Let’s kick it off with the crazy lady of my neighborhood. Since I don’t get on Next Door, my website is my own complaint forum. So let’s complain. This woman in my neighborhood cannot handle her dog. She constantly either lets him off his leash or he just breaks free. And as soon as he does, he runs over to Jackson, gets in his face and they start to prep themselves to go at it. What do I do? I pull Jackson back while the dog keeps getting in his face, until the owner woman comes over and pulls him off and says he never does this. Well, he’s done it to Jackson about 5 times now.
So instead of walking my normal route, I try to go other places now so I don’t see her. Well, turns out that I accidentally walked by her house at one point and her dog did the same thing…so I finally lost it. I yelled at the lady and told her that she needs to get control of her dog and that this is unacceptable. I said that I don’t even feel comfortable walking my dog in our neighborhood because she can’t seem to keep hers on a leash. And you know what she did? She called me a “f*cking b*tch.” For walking a completely different route away from her and for keeping my dog on a leash. Sure, I’m the b*tch. I haven’t seen her since thankfully, but that’s probably because I’ve been driving to a park to take Jackson on walks. Damn neighbors.
Anywho, after being heated about that incident for a solid two days, I finally moved on from it when a last minute trip to Seattle came up. I swear, the only times I ever go to Seattle are for trips that are 24 hours or less. I’ve been there twice on book tour and both times were super short, and this trip was no different. I flew out of Denver at 8am, landed at 10:30am and flew out the next morning again at 8am. I met with some of the amazing people behind Inspo Network, had a lunch margarita, then went to a party at night that included more margaritas, sushi, and gluten free cupcakes. It was a trifecta of perfection. The next morning, I headed to the airport nice and early, nice and hungover, and hung out in the United Club lounge. Do you have this club card? I just recently purchased it after my experience of being stuck in the Miami airport. Having that club card with me would have really alleviated some of the stress of being in an airport for a million hours. And after experiencing it this past weekend, I’m in love! Free food, free drinks, free wifi, comfy seats, clean bathrooms, and it’s QUIET. Quiet is my favorite sound.
But wait, there’s more stories. The whole reason I was in Seattle for such a short amount of time is because I had a wedding I had to come back to in Denver the next day. So I got back to Denver and hopped in my car, rushing to get home. But as we know, whenever we plan something, it doesn’t work out. And my plan was screwed up by a student driver. Some new kid on the road braked for no apparent reason to all of us and sent a chain reaction of brake lights down the highway. Almost everyone had to come to a complete stop out of nowhere. I came to a complete stop, just barely missing the guy in front of me, but the guy in back of me was not so lucky. He hit me which hit me into the car in front of me. Five cars all hit and were then stuck on the highway waiting for the police to come, causing a sh*t storm of congestion on the highway. I really hated being those people. So we waited for the police, he took our statements, gave a couple people tickets then sent us on our way. At that point, there was no way I was going to make the wedding. I still had to half ass shower, put makeup on and at least brush my hair. Well I did all of that and ended up making it to the wedding with 5 minutes to spare! Luckily Catholic ceremonies take about a million years. So now I have a car with less than 1000 miles on it (with a brand new windshield that was just replaced last week after a rock hit it) that will soon have two new bumpers.
Do you think I have bad karma for yelling at the woman who can’t keep her dog on a leash? I don’t yell very often and maybe a higher power is telling me to keep me sh*t together. Either way, I leave for Montreal tomorrow and may take an Uber to the airport instead.
Cheesecake Brownies
- Prep Time: 20 minutes
- Cook Time: 50 minutes
- Total Time: 9 hours 10 minutes
- Yield: 16 bars 1x
Ingredients
-
1 cup dark chocolate chips
-
½ cup maple sugar
-
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
-
2 eggs, at room temperature
-
¼ cup tapioca flour
-
1 ½ teaspoon baking powder
-
pinch of salt
-
½ cup chocolate chunks
-
1 (8-ounce) container almond milk cream cheese, softened to room temperature
-
½ cup maple sugar
-
1 egg, at room temperature
-
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8×8 baking dish with aluminum foil then spray with coconut oil spray.
- Melt chocolate chips in microwave for 2 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds until melted. Use a hand mixer, beat together melted chocolate, sugar and vanilla extract. Once combine, add one egg and beat for 30 seconds then add the other egg and beat for another minute until smooth. Add in tapioca flour, baking powder and salt and beat once more, scraping down the sides as needed. Mix in chocolate chunks then pour mixture into baking dish and smooth throughout.
- In another bowl, beat together cream cheese, maple sugar, egg and vanilla extract for 1-2 minutes until combine. Add spoonfuls of cream cheese mixture on top of brownie mixture then run a knife back and fourth through the mixture to combine the two.
- Place in oven to bake for 50 minutes. Let cool completely then place in fridge to cool overnight before slicing into 16 bars. Store in fridge in closed container.
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More Squares of Joy:
Lemon Raspberry Cheesecake Bars
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Cheesecake Brownies
- Prep Time: 20 minutes
- Cook Time: 50 minutes
- Total Time: 9 hours 10 minutes
- Yield: 16 bars 1x
Ingredients
-
1 cup dark chocolate chips
-
½ cup maple sugar
-
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
-
2 eggs, at room temperature
-
¼ cup tapioca flour
-
1 ½ teaspoon baking powder
-
pinch of salt
-
½ cup chocolate chunks
-
1 (8-ounce) container almond milk cream cheese, softened to room temperature
-
½ cup maple sugar
-
1 egg, at room temperature
-
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8×8 baking dish with aluminum foil then spray with coconut oil spray.
- Melt chocolate chips in microwave for 2 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds until melted. Use a hand mixer, beat together melted chocolate, sugar and vanilla extract. Once combine, add one egg and beat for 30 seconds then add the other egg and beat for another minute until smooth. Add in tapioca flour, baking powder and salt and beat once more, scraping down the sides as needed. Mix in chocolate chunks then pour mixture into baking dish and smooth throughout.
- In another bowl, beat together cream cheese, maple sugar, egg and vanilla extract for 1-2 minutes until combine. Add spoonfuls of cream cheese mixture on top of brownie mixture then run a knife back and fourth through the mixture to combine the two.
- Place in oven to bake for 50 minutes. Let cool completely then place in fridge to cool overnight before slicing into 16 bars. Store in fridge in closed container.
Is it possible to sub coconut sugar or maple syrup for the maple sugar? I want to make these today and don’t have any maple sugar.
you could, the color just won’t come out the same. maple sugar is light in color which is what keeps the cheesecake the light color it is
I have been attacked while walking my 2 dogs twice, by the same unleashed dog!!! I now carry pepper spray to ward off another attack. I’d get a shirt made with “I’m the f*cking b*tch” with a silhouette of a person walking their dog with a leash on it. Irresponsible animal owners are the worst. BTW, the recipe has the total time of 9 hours??? I’m assuming that’s a typo??
i’ve seriously thought about getting that stuff, but i more so want to use it on the owner, not the dog lol. and the total time is 9 hours because it sits in the fridge overnight
LMFAO, can’t wait to try your kick-ass brownies! Btw, I too am purposely not on Next-Door. 🙂
Happy Friday!
hope you love them Heather!
Well I think you are to be congratulated on your handling of the whole dog situation to be fair. I would have had my Irish up after the second time, knocked on her door (without my dog there) and given her a piece of my mind. I have a year old goldendoodle, Ivy, and I’m paranoid about protecting her!) Btw I’m also paranoid about watching that video as I want to lose a few lbs…… 😀
hahahaha i’m definitely not a fighter, i got sweaty from just yelling at her in the first place!
I want to make these but also don’t want to go to the store….semi sweet chocolate chips okay instead of the dark chocolate? And I’m guessing the regular cream cheese is okay if I don’t have issues with dairy? Thank you!!
yep absolutely!
As soon as I saw this recipe I messaged it to my BFF who loves to try new recipes as much as I do and also shares a love of healthy eating, and we resolved to make it this weekend.
Well we were forced by circumstances to make a couple very minor alterations, but the end result was beautiful to the senses, and enjoyed by everyone from a 6 year old picky eater to her almost 50 year old dad who is a self proclaimed cheesecake snob, plus a visiting friend and the two of us.
Next time (and there will be a next time!) I will make sure I have maple sugar on hand, as I would love to taste it the way it was meant to be, but even subbing the Splenda/brown sugar blend (NOT my choice but due to a miscommunication was what we had to work with – blech on Splenda!) it still came out delectable!
As for the cheesecake snob, he was entertainingly ticked off at the fact that it was so good 😉
Love your blog and looking forward to whatever is next!
hahahaha glad it still came out delicious!!
Can you use regular cream cheese ?
absolutely!
What other substitutes can you use for Tapioca Flour? I can’t find any at the stores near me!
you can use arrowroot instead!
Ugh, people who cannot control their dogs shouldn’t even own one. HONESTLY. But anyways, I am sure the United Club lounge trip was a much needed refresher for a stressful week! I want to just eliminate all negativity in this world. Wish it was actually possible! 🙁 These cheesecake brownies look like they’d make ANYONE smile though. Look at that topper and those gorgeous swirls!
I made these using regular cream cheese (full fat organic) and brown sugar (I think I only used 1/4). I froze half and nibbled on them from the freezer through out the week in case this helps anyone with substitutions and storage.