Thank god I go to acupuncture starting tomorrow. My stress levels are through the roof lately. The change of birth control has made me a legitimate nightmare. Then our internet went out this morning so I was forced to contact our internet provider and sit on a phone recording and press numbers to get to a human. Who barely spoke english, spoke quieter than a sloth, and who couldn’t find our account. How can you not find out account when I’m giving you the serial number for the router?! How is that f*cking possible? So I’m forced to a coffee shop down the street, in my pajamas (my eyebrows aren’t even filled in yet!!), because my entire life is provided to me via the internet. But the thing is, I have some ice cream to start churning. And beef to start sizzling. Because if you don’t have beef or ice cream, you might just say “eff this b*tch.” Probably not, but you know what I’m saying.
Actually, you probably don’t. Because you’re not hopped up on hormones that are destroying your brain. I think it’s time for a new child preventative option.
Since I’m forced to work at a coffee shop, I am now next to a guy who is yodeling. Yodeling, people.
I’m disappointed with ABC. Come on, bro. You’re towards the end of this season of The Bachelor and the best part of the entire show was the bloopers at the end. Women fighting off bugs was the best part. You’re slacking. The only slightly entertaining yet disappointing part of the entire show was the date working at McDonald’s…are you f*cking kidding me ABC? You’re the worst. Sure, I get it, they’re paying you good money as a sponsor of the show. But that was the best thing you could come up with to do with them? How about bringing that girls children there and letting them play while you both sip out of a milkshake at the same time. BOOM. That day is 100% better than sorting through ketchup packets at the drive through. Hire me as your psycho producer to come up with weird, yet relatable, dates. I only ask for 80 billion a year. Fair deal, if you ask me.
So last night, the fiancé and I met with our good friend Tommy to talk about our big day coming up in 2 months. Becauuuuse he is marrying us! He got his marriage license for this exact reason so we had to talk through the details. And since we have had to do absolutely nothing for our destination wedding, this sh*t seems complicated. Like who walks up when and when he says certain things and how he makes it funny yet sentimental and if church is highly involved or slightly left out. Ok, it’s really not that complicated. Especially when you use condiments to figure out the set up. You can see that on my snapchat. I was the salt. Either way, I’m so excited to see what he decides to say. And wear my wedding dress. And marry this poor man that has had to put up with my psycho self for the past month. I can never get pregnant. He’ll end up divorcing me when the hormones take over and I become this….
I’m just gonna go make these bars again. They make anything better.
Chocolate Dipped Caramel Nut Bars
- Yield: 10 bars 1x
Ingredients
- 1 batch caramel (Vanilla Bean Caramel from Juli Bauer’s Paleo Cookbook or Raspberry Caramel) or Apple Cider Caramel
- 1 cup almonds
- 1 cup walnuts, chopped
- 1/2 cup pistachios
- 1/2 cup coconut flakes, chopped
- 1/2 cup cranberries
- 1 tablespoon chia seeds
- 1 cup chocolate chips, melted
Instructions
- Make caramel. Let cool for a couple minutes.
- Line an 8×8 baking dish with parchment paper.
- Place almonds, walnuts, pistachios, coconut, cranberries and chia seeds in a bowl and toss. Pour 1/2 cup worth of caramel into the bowl with the nuts and toss with a spatula. Pour the nut caramel mixture into the lined dish and spread out until even throughout.
- Place in the freezer for 3+ hours. Remove from freezer and cut into bars or squares.
- Melt chocolate then dip each bar in the chocolate, using a spoon to press chocolate up on the sides of each bar. Place back on parchment paper and into the fridge for 10+ minutes.
- Serve immediately and store in the freezer. (these bars fall apart easily so don’t leave them out too long)
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Looks so amazing. Perfect if you need something sweet.
Kisses from http://poshnessary.com ❤
I never watch the bachelor but I agreed to watch it with a friend last night. You summed up my thoughts perfectly. I would have taken an hour of the bug bloopers over that! Girl, you get me lmao.
Oh and these look delicious andJacksonissupercuteokbye.
The date at McDonald’s was cringe-worthy. I think I yelled at the TV the entire time they were there. Did you see how much they ate?? You know they don’t eat at McDonald’s!!!!! BTW, who are you rooting for? p.s. I made 3 of your recipes last week and they were all absolutely amazing and I can’t wait to buy your cookbooks.
Lauren for sure! she’s adorbs.
If you’re looking to switch up your birth control again, I highly (highly!) recommend an IUD. You don’t need to think about it on a daily basis, and the level of hormones is either extremely low (like with the Mirena brand) or completely nonexistent (in the case of the copper ones). Even if you go with the very low-hormone option like the Mirena, the hormones are in very small doses and are localized to just the implantation area, so they’re not traveling through your bloodstream and your digestive system like with the pill. And – BONUS! – many women who have the Mirena IUD have no periods, or extremely light periods.
Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there as an option. I’ve used the Mirena for almost a decade – having it removed twice to successfully get pregnant, then going right back to it – and all my friends who have it absolutely love it.
i’m slightly scared of the pain of getting an IUD. i like a doc in my vagina as little and as pain free as possible…
I also have the Mirena and yeah, implantation is not pleasant but if you take painkillers ahead of time you’ll be in good shape. I found out that I have a medical condition that prohibits me from being on estrogen based birth control so Mirena was one of the few options I had. I definitely prefer being on a progestin birth control. No emotional upheavals. I have really light periods every 6 weeks or so.
I was super scared of the pain too especially because I also haven’t had kids yet (apparently it’s less painful if you’ve had kids) and I can say that the worst of it was the first 24 hours. It was like having bad cramps and then I had no more issues beyond that. It was definitely the easiest form of birth control I’ve ever been on and there were very few side effects after the first 24 hours (unless you count not having a period as a side effect, but I thought it was awesome!).
I also really liked the Nuva Ring if you can get past putting it in every month. It had far fewer side effects that bc pills for me and I couldn’t feel it at all.
Yeah, implantation isn’t a party or anything, but it’s not that bad. Just relax as much as possible (while metal instruments/stranger hands are all up in your lady business – HA!) and take some painkillers beforehand. Some doctors will even prescribe some painkillers to take a few hours before your appointment. You’ll have moderate cramps for a few hours, but after that it’s smooth, baby-free sailing.
A few hours of period-like cramps is better than inflicting years of emotional , hormone induced craziness on yourself and those you love! 🙂
I also had a pretty good experience with the Mirena. Pros: no period- not even spotting, no crazy fluctuating hormones, effective form of BC x 5 years, and easily removed, which wasn’t painful. The cons: acne (not terrible acne but definitely a lot more than my usual), and oh dear lord the pain of it getting inserted- not sure if its because Ive never had a baby before or if Im just a wimp but I should have taken more ibuprofen and maybe even some valium haha
I recommend the Nexplanon impant. no side effects, lasts 3 years, no human error, covered by insurance. Awesome!
I have tried so many birth controls. IUD is where it’s at. I have the copper one, meaning no hormones, because my body is a real B on hormones. It’s definitely not a party up in there when it’s getting done, but OH.SO.WORTH.IT for the 10 years it covers your hoo-hah, and the procedure isn’t very long. Do take ibuprofen before, though.
But seriously, who yodels in a coffee shop????
Thanks for all of your AMAZING recipes! I don’t usually comment on posts, but because birth control pills caused me the same issues as you (and more) I thought I’d throw out the suggestion to look into the Fertility Awareness Method (not to be confused with the Rythm Method). I don’t know if you’ve already looked into this method, but if not, the book, “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler is super helpful in teaching the method. There are also people on-line that teach classes on how to appropriately do it. I’ve successfully used it for over 2 years and I love that I’m letting my body do it’s natural thing without interference from pills or IUDs, all while preventing pregnancy AND being a normal human being without outrageous mood swings. ????
I second this… mirena is still hormonal birth control (thus, not infallible), just in a smaller dose because it’s closer to the source. I used a modified version of this up until we decided to conceive. when we DID decide to conceive, there was no time lag between establishing a normal cycle, getting anything removed, etc., and I knew exactly when my best time for conception was.
Your snapchat is cracking me UP! “LUNCH!” 😀 Keep up the positive vibes.
omg these look amazing! I feel like I need to have Enjoy Life choc chips set up on a bimonthly shipment through Amazon. I go through those way too fast!
Thanks for the recipe!
I started following you on snapchat a few days ago. Please tell me what is an “adrenal cocktail” .hehe… Thank you for all your delicious recipes. I hope you will be able to relax and enjoy the rest of the process of wedding planning.
i got the recipe through gingernewtrition.com after signing up for her newsletter. you could ask her on her instagram page if she will share it, i just don’t want to since it’s her creation
Thank you!
It’s actually on her website: http://gingernewtrition.com/the-adrenal-cocktail-creamsicle/
thanks melissa!
So perfect timing with this post, I JUST got an IUD put in this morning. I’ve never had a baby either and it was easy peasy. Less of a yuck-fest than a pap even. I went shopping and out to lunch after, too. Not bad at all. You can do it!
Can you please share a little more about your facial peel? I’ve been considering one as well and would love to know the details and maybe see your before and afters? Thanks in advance! Love the blog!