Remember when I talked about this mousse? I told you we would have the recipe for this mousse someday. I told you!! Well that day has finally come. Hope you love it. Don’t be deceived by the picture that didn’t come out too great since I was trying to get a picture done in less than a minute. It actually does taste amazing. We winged it on stage so I’m winging this recipe again and it still came out delicious! Remember, my recipe doesn’t have crumbled bacon on top, but that’s because I had no bacon in the house. I know, I suck. But candied walnuts ain’t so bad, bro. So stop hatin’.
So I went jeans shopping this week. I did it. I put a good chunk of money into my checking account in hopes that I wouldn’t feel restricted to not buy more expensive jeans. My goal was to actually find jeans and not be depressed by the couple pairs that didn’t fit. And I took Sergio with me to make sure I didn’t cry, which thank goodness I did because I absolutely would have if he weren’t there. I totally almost sh*t the bed when I broke a nail trying to pull up some of the jeans at Nordstrom. And I f*cking got my nails done the day before so I was pissed. Obviously. I’m cussing about it. I’m a child. I pretty much had demin blue coloring under my fingernails from all the squeezing and uncomfortable pulling into the jeans. It’s not easy getting my ass into jeans, it’s not easy at all.
Anywho, after trying on quite a few pairs of jeans at Nordstrom, I finally found a pair. First I tried on Joe Jeans, but my butt looked weird. Then I tried on Paige Jeans but they didn’t look totally right. Then Mother Jeans which gave me a gap in the waist. Then I finally found the best pair for my chunky butt. Citizen of Humanity jeans. At least I think that’s what they are called. Anywho, of course they were the most expensive ones I tried on. OF COURSE. But I decided to take the plunge since I didn’t see any light on the horizon when it came to any other jeans. You know what that put me back? Please don’t be disgusted with me, I’m already disgusted enough with myself. And I’m really trying to feel comfortable in my own skin. Back to the point, I spent $224.00 on ONE pair of jeans. I know, I’m gross. And I really don’t have that money to spend, but I had to do it. I can’t keep crying in dressing rooms thinking my body is disgusting because nothing fits, I can’t. So I did it. I bought the jeans. Then moved on with my life.
I then moved on to Abercrombie. I know, I’m not 16 years old, but a couple people recommended those jeans on my blog so I thought it was worth a try. Turns out, it wasn’t. My bubble butt doesn’t work in those jeans. Bummer.
I moved on once again. Sergio stayed very patient through all of this and did not complain whatsoever. Or act bored. He’s the best. So we went to Lucky. I finally found a pair of jeans that I liked after trying on a few, but they were too short. Highwaters ain’t my thang. But the Sophia cut is pretty great if you are looking for a curvy fit. So I moved on, not trying to order those jeans online in a longer cut. Never a good idea.
We waddled our way to the Buckle. Terrible idea. I don’t like bedazzled jeans. On women or men in bedazzled jeans. More importantly, on myself. No need to bring more attention to that area. I walked in, felt like I was 14 this time, then walked out when ALL of the jeans had rhinestones on them or stitching that you could see from a mile away. Ew. Not my cup o’ tea.
Last but not least, I went to the Gap. Thank goodness I passed it or I would have completely forgot about that place. So I walked in, found their 1969 Curvy Fit (long) jeans, and got two pairs of those bastards! They fit great!! Not quite as great as the $224 pair I had just purchased but good enough. Only problem is I have to get them hemmed and have no clue where to go in Denver. Yelp is probably my best bet. Unless YOU know one!! Give me answers.
All I can conclude from spending $375 on jeans is that I still don’t love how I look quite yet. This has been a battle my entire life that I joke about through my blog to deal with the upset and frustration, but I really hope to someday be content with what I have and what I look at in the mirror. CrossFit has completely changed my body, in a way that I’m not comfortable with. I love the muscle I have created, but hate the shape my body has taken on. And hate is a strong word. I envy the women whose bodies never change but at the same time, I know we all feel the ups and downs of body image.
As the next year goes by, I hope to be able to create a happier me. That’s much more comfortable in my own skin. As for now, I’m taking some steps to fix my skin and to create a body I’m happy with. Let’s see how this year goes!
Can you believe you just read an entire blog post about jeans? I’m sorry.
Kind of.
Chocolate Mousse with Cinnamon Sautéed Bananas
- Yield: 2 1x
Ingredients
- 1 can (14 ounce) full fat coconut milk left in the fridge overnight (it must be canned!)
- 1/4 cup sunflower seed butter (or any nut butter)
- 1/3 cup raw honey
- 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (or more)
- pinch of salt
- 1 banana, sliced
- 2–3 tablespoons coconut oil
- 1 teaspoons raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon (or more)
- handful of chopped walnuts
- pinch of salt
- bacon (optional- optional because I had none at my house to make crumbles with)
Instructions
- Place full fat coconut milk in your food processor. I used my blendtec because it’s absolutely amazing for this kind of thing. Be sure to add in the coconut water and pulp that may have separated while being in the fridge.
- Then add in nut butter, raw honey, cocoa powder, cinnamon, and a bit of salt. Puree until smooth. Pour in ramekins and place in fridge for 3+ hours to completely set. If you want a even harder mousse, place in the freezer to help harden more.
- Once mousse has set, place 2-3 tablespoons of coconut oil in a small skillet over medium-high heat.
- Add in honey to melt just a bit then add in sliced bananas.
- Sprinkle with cinnamon and pinch of salt.
- Once the bananas have caramelized on one side (about 2 minutes or so) flip with a spatula, then toss in chopped walnuts, and let both caramelize even more.
- Remove from heat to let cool just a bit then top your mousse off with this goodness.
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Love the jeans story – so true and everyone has experienced it at one point or another! The recipe looks great and I will try it after my 21DSD is complete.
Juli, you’re awesome and so is your butt/thigh region. Don’t ever think differently. I too have some issues in finding pants to fit that area. I picked up a pair of Sevens, the straight leg fit which now escapes me. They have a bit of stretch to them which makes all the difference.
Also, do you have a Loehmann’s near you? We have them in NJ, it’s like a more upscale TJ Maxx. I get most of my jeans there. I also bought a Helmut Lang dress there (IN A SIZE SIX, WHEN DID I GET THIS SKINNY) for like 80% off.
ALSO, I tried on a pair of Ann Taylor dress pants in size 4 Tall and my quads were like LOL WUT so those are going back unfortunately.
Juli: I know how you feel to battle with loving your body! I NEVER wore shorts until I started CrossFit because I didn’t like the way my legs looked. My legs are still pretty beasty, but they are toned and knowing I can squat 235 lbs makes me feel like a badass so I wear those shorts with pride! (Please note: I have to get all leg wear hemmed because whatever fits my ass is way too big in waist.) I also recently splurged a great deal of money on designer jeans that I LOVE, and you will not regret it. Just know you’re not alone, girlfran!
Juli, I completely understand your struggles with body image and skin. I am around your age and going through the same thing. If you ever need any inspiration or advice on self love go to paleoforwomen.com and read some empowering articles. They always make me feel better after. Good luck to you on your journey to becoming a happier you. I promise that you will get there!
Just remember you are a powerful and inspiring woman, and that is a beautiful thing.
I recently went jeans shopping and the ONLY pair that fit had rhinestones on the butt. I was bummed, until I realized I could pick them all off. Talk about ghetto. But they look great now!
By the way, I love reading about your jean woes, you definitely make girls/women out there feel like they aren’t alone in being uncomfortable in their own skin.
Thanks for that!!
Juli – you have a rockin’ body! I strive to be 1/2 the athlete (and chef/food creator/awesome goody maker) that you are!
My hips are 10 inches bigger than my waist (TEN INCHES) so I have resigned myself to the fact that the fashion industry clearly doesn’t accomodate my proportions – and it’s frustrating! And based on the comments here, the industry doesn’t accomodate wide range of sizes/shapes/proportions (BIG surprise).
BUT – that doesn’t mean that we have to accept their standards and beat ourselves up when we don’t fit into pants that Twiggy would have a problem getting into. Don’t get me wrong, I most certainly have my body image struggles…but I am really trying to change my thinking and move more towards valuing how I feel and what I can do with my body at CF, rather than worrying about whether or not I can fit into a quote/unquote “size 8”.
And idk if I’ll ever fully get there…but maybe it is just a matter of changing the way we think.
Happy Friday! 😀
This recipe looks amazing! Girl.. and You LOOK Fabulous!! I am Latina so we (Latinas) have curves and thankfully we grew up with loving our big butts and thighs (girls were mocked if they didn’t have this). But I have noticed since doing Crossfit my butt has gotten bigger (but I had to stop doing Crossfit due to an injury). So I don’t know if I can blame Crossfit for my butt…it’s always been big, but its now firmer! lol! I hope to be going back in a couple of months.
Love your posts and your honesty and your recipes!!!
also….they have this store it’s called Uniclo (not sure if they only have it in certain cities) but their jeans are inexpensive (about $40-$50) and they fit GREAT!! They have stretch in them so they contour to your body! I hate Express jeans because I always have a gap on my waist and it doesn’t fit well around the butt area.
F you make me laugh. You should do a book tour so I can creepily stalk you…. I mean attend one of your book signings. Anyways… Love how real you are, it is amazingly inspiring!! I love following your journey and I can not wait to read the blog post that says you have realized how beautiful you are inside and out! xo