Let me first preface this recipe by telling you something really important here: I LOVE THIS FREAKING RECIPE!! No, I effing love it. It may be one of my favorite dessert recipes of all time. And I tested it out on 5 different people, most of them non-paleo people, and they all loved it. So just make this. Stop questioning it, just do it. After you read my Bachelorette recap duuuuuuuh.
First of all, why the fudge is the Bachelorette not on next week? You mean I have to wait 2 more weeks to see JoJo cry her eyes out for a reason that is completely unapparent to me?? I hate you ABC, I hate you. If I come to find out that some presidential election bullsh*t is on instead of the Bachelorette…oh, you’ll hear about it. Except the election is very similar to the mansion’s dramatic incidents, so I guess it will do.
Anywho, where the hell to start? Last night was one hell of a mess. Chad style. But we will get to that a bit later. Let’s first talk about the super awkward dates.
- Date #1: The sex yoga studio. She told them to have an angergasm. Is that a real thing outside of sex yoga? Think about that for a second. Then the camera zoomed in on the instructors crotch while she hip thrusted and yelled. Is this real life? Then they straddled each other sitting next to the straddling instructors. It was just so f*cking weird. Except I’ve taken a liking to this Chase fella.
- Date #2: Sex improv. All the men had to go on stage and tell their most awkward sex story. Which, obviously, we heard nothing on our end. Don’t take the guys on a date that you aren’t going to share the details from, ABC, ya d*ck!!! And really, who wants to hear about their new lover’s sex life? Answer: only weirdos. Chad may be weird AF, but he was right about not wanting to share his own personal stories. He may have been right about the that, but he was definitely in the wrong when it came to not shooting steroids in his legs. Did you see those little things?! Ah, I’m scared he’s gonna come hunt me down now. No, but seriously.
- Date #3: Farmer Joe guy date. I forget what his name is but I’m a bit of obsessed with his mysterious ways. And his nice figure. I like that he doesn’t smile much, but when he does he’s all adorbs. I don’t know or care what they did on their date, I just remember his cute lil’ bum bum and rugged face. I hope she keeps his cuteness around for a while.
- Date #4: Again, what is with having tasks that one person is a pro at. The firefighter challenge with the firefighter, now the football challenge with the pro football player. How is that fair? I’m surprised Wells and Evan didn’t end up breaking bones. Proud of those lil’ guys!
- Date #5: The epic 2-on-1 date. Battle royale. Whatever the hell that means. Didn’t you just want to punch Chad the entire time but then feel bad about it because you’re mad at him for wanting to resort to violence? That guy has major roid rage. I’ve worked in gyms since I was in college, I know what it looks like. And when Chris Harrison asked him about his steroid use, he said, “It’s not like I could bring them with me here anyways.” His answers are always so solid. So manipulative. He’s a real stand up act.
So obviously Chad took center stage these past two episodes. But he was a bit of a disappointment. He was so so boring, but then he would have these waves of massive anger, but still be boring when he was threatening people. Honestly, he looked like me 2 weeks ago when my birth control sent me into an angry b*tch spiral. Maybe he’s just on birth control. Either way, I’m glad he got the boot. He reminds me of the dude Charlotte from Sex and the City dated for a little bit but then he ended up fighting everyone no matter what the incident. Chad is that guy. He would fight someone at a restaurant for spilling JoJo’s drink. Fo. Sho.
Other things that caught my attention this week: their sweet microphone puka shell necklaces. The creators of that incredibly beautiful jewelry should win an award for outstanding attention to detail. They were magnificent. And what’s up with JoJo bringing up Ben again? He must be watching this and loving the fact that she keeps bringing him up. So awkward. Did you see Chad eat a full baked sweet potato? What an odd thing to eat with your hands. Not saying I haven’t done that at a competition when I forgot utensils, but biting through the skin when you have a knife and fork readily available in a giant mansion, come on bruh. Just odd. Sh*t, I bruh’d him, he’s definitely going to come find me. I wish I could act like I was joking, but a small part of me is definitely scared of the Chad. I would beat him in thigh size, but he would beat me with…anything around him. Ahhhhh.
Now seriously, what’s JoJo crying about in the next coming episode? And WTF am I going to talk about next Wednesday?! Balls.
Chocolate “Peanut Butter” Cookie Bars
- Yield: 12-15 slices 1x
Ingredients
For the shortbread crust
- 1½ cup almond flour
- ¼ cup + 1 tablespoon coconut flour
- ¼ cup + 1 tablespoon tapioca flour
- ½ teaspoon baking soda
- 4 tablespoons ghee
- 4 tablespoons maple syrup
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
For the “peanut butter” layer
- 1 1/2 cup cashew butter (or any nut butter you prefer)
- 3/4 cup maple sugar (or coconut sugar, i just prefer the taste of maple sugar)
- 2 tablespoons ghee
- 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the top
- 1 cup chocolate chips, melted
- couple pinches of flaked salt
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease a rectangle quiche pan (13-3/4″ x 4-1/4″)*. Add all ingredients for the crust into a food processor and pulse until completely combine. The dough should combine into a slight ball once combine. Put dough in a pan and use your fingers to press dough around evenly throughout the pan, pressing the dough higher on the sides. Use a fork to poke about 10-12 holes in to keep the crusting from rising as it bake. Bake crust for 15-18 minutes, until golden brown. Remove then let crust cool for about 30 minutes.
- Once crust has cooled, wipe out the inside of the food processor and then place cashew butter, maple sugar, ghee, vanilla extra and salt in the food processor and pulse until completely combine. Use a spatula to remove all the mixture and place in the crust and smooth out. Place in the freezer to harden for 30 minutes.
- Lastly, melt chocolate. Pour chocolate on top of slightly hardened “peanut butter” mixture, smooth out then sprinkle with salt on top. Place in fridge for 10 minutes to harden chocolate before slicing into bar or triangles or whatever shape you prefer!
Notes
*If you don’t have a quiche pan, you could always use an 8×8 dish, they will be a little thinner so you will have to watch the baking time, but it will still work
____________
More Layered Ideas For Ya:
Salted Caramel Cookie Ice Cream Cups
Holiday Raspberry Caramel Tart
________________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!
Hi Juli- these bars are effing AMAZING. It might be one of my favorite dessert recipes of yours. This comment is way overdue because I’ve been following your blog for years, have all of your cookbooks and have made hundreds of your recipes. Let me just say, you ROCK. Perhaps this is overkill with the flattery/praise, but seriously thank you because you’ve made paleo easy for me for years now- and damn delicious, too!
If it helps others, I used coconut oil instead of ghee with no issues. And I also used coconut syrup instead of maple syrup only because I haven’t been able to find grade b maple syrup at the store for several weeks. A bit stickier than I image maple syrup would be but everything worked out great.
awwwww thank you so so much, Michelle! so glad you liked the bars! you’re the best and thanks for following for so long and for sharing your substitutions that works for you!
Juli,
They will forever be one of my top ten favorite dessert things.. I used half coconut oil/ half butter cause I couldn’t find ghee. They turned out amazing! I also used a cheesecake pan and that kind worked…Thanks for all your amazing yumminess and adorable fashion.
Lindsey
awesome!! so glad you loved them, lindsey! i’m glad made your top ten!
Making these !! My son can’t talk dairy – what do you suggest instead of ghee? Can I use coconut oil? Or almond butter as the base ? Thanks so much !
you could use coconut oil instead!
OH MY WORD, these bars.
Do you have a good source for maple sugar in bulk? Or at least a decent value? I love the taste too.
I made these the past weekend but the dish I used was too deep, so it ended up looking like a single giant twix & were probably a lot richer than your version.
Saying that I made the slices a lot smaller, brought them into work – and they were devoured!!
Thank you for the very yummy recipe….only downfall is now the work folk expect Monday treats every week 🙂
Just made these for the Hubs’s birthday! Love at first bite. (Was gonna post you a picture but don’t see how. And they were so cute with the candles.) Anyways, I plan to use this crust for lots of other stuff since it taste so much like graham cracker yummy stuff. Thanks!
These were awesome! Even my husband, who is sick of my ‘testing recipes’, loves them. I took them on a camping trip and everyone preferred these bars to s’mores.
yay!! glad he liked them!
I’m super excited to make these!! All I’ve done the whole summer so far is make your desserts (flourless chocolate cake, samoa cupcakes, apple caramel crumble….). Can’t wait to try these!!
yayyyy! hope you’ve loved all of them! i think this one is the easiest of all those desserts!
what can I use instead of a food processor for the crust?
maybe a blender or you could mix by hand, but it might not be the exact same consistency
I have a Vitamix (not the dry container), and a Kitchenaid mixer, but I know nothing about food processors. can you recommend any particular one?
i have a cuisinart 9 or 11 cup (can’t remember) and it works great, i’ve had it for 5+ years now!
I made these yesterday and took them to the beach and had every intention of taking and posting a pic but they were gone in a flash, they were AMAZING!!!