Clean it up Mondays: Breakfast Meat Sauce

I can’t stop scratching. I can’t. I have been eaten alive by bugs over the weekend. Some mosquitos. But mostly biting flies. Since when do flies bite? Are they a different kind of fly? I don’t know, but what I do know is that when I was scratching my bites the other night, I ended up with open wounds then scabs that looked like I had been infected with a flesh eating virus. I was kind of feeaking out…for about 24 seconds. Then I just decided I should stop touching it. Instead, I found another bite to scratch. I’m miserable.

So I went to South Dakota over the weekend. It was a friends wedding reception. Remember when I went to Mexico for a wedding a few months ago? Well, the lovely couple invited a bunch of people down to stay at her family’s cabin since not everyone could make it to Mexico. It mostly gave all of us an excuse to forget about reality and spend some time on the lake.

So that’s what we did. We had a giant slumber party in the cabin, played music loudly, and ate a lot of chips. The two main staples in the house were chips and vodka. I hate how delicious chips are. So every night we would eat some dinner, make drinks that were entirely too strong, then try to fall asleep. The problem with slumber parties though, if you want to go to bed, you can’t. Because someone is probably dancing to Kelly Clarkson on your bed. And it’s probably a dude. Dudes don’t let you go to sleep if Kelly is wailing that voice of hers.

Here are some other things that went on in South Dakota other than eating chips and singing to good ole’ Kelly. There’s really not much else, but I’ll try.

1. I told the group I really only had one day in me to drink, because I suck at drinking. And you know my feelings about it. So I drank the first day on the boat. Way too early. And fell asleep in the boat. Pretty sure I strained my neck. And I was bobbing in my bed later that night. I’m a terrible drinker.
2. I saw a guy try to do a backflip off the kitchen counter and face plant into salsa instead.
3. I watched a guy dance in a closet for at least 20 minutes.
4. I saw a 3 legged dog.
5. I ate clam dip that was stupid good and probably the worst snack ever for you, in the history of the world. Cool fact, huh?
6. I went to Mount Rushmore and saw a guy who was there to help build it. You can imagine how old he is. Or do the math and figure it out. Either way, he was quite a bore. And a grump. He didn’t want to talk to you unless you bought his book. Which I was never going to do. So his exciting secrets about carving presidents faces into a mountain will forever be unknown to me.
7. I made tissue paper flowers. If you are ever asked to help make those, don’t do it. Just don’t.
8. I drove through Wyoming and wondered where the hell the population lives. No one is there.
9. I got pelleted in the face with hail.
10. I ate more chips.

That’s a good summary of my trip to South Dakota. It’s nice to be home. Mostly because road trips suck balls. Especially through Wyoming. Sorry Wyoming people, it’s just a fact. Anywho, let’s clean up from the weekend. With some delicious breakfast meat sauce. Okgreatcool.

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