In lieu of Cinco de Mayo, which is TOMORROW – holy sh*t…can we take a second and just sit in shock that tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo. I literally don’t understand time anymore. It’s insane to me. This weekend is also the Derby, which means a ton of people in Colorado go to a huge party and get wasted and eat the terrible food that is provided at the party. I feel very lucky that my friends still have some faith to ask me to go. Because I literally ALWAYS say no. The derby party is my personal hell. I’m not sure if it’s downtown but if it is, that means Cinco de Mayo AND the Derby parties will be going on, all while I’m trying to walk my way to the Rockies game. That’s so many people. And the introvert in me is already causing me to have sweaty palms.
Anyways, back to the point. In lieu of Cinco de Mayo, here is a little margarita for your soul! I haven’t liked tequila, like…ever. But this year, we’ve started to make our own drinks at home way more often and I think tequila tastes WAY better when you make the drinks yourself. And the thing I hate about most restaurants and bars is that they all use triple sec in their drinks. First of all, I don’t even know what triple sec is, along with most ingredients in fancy cocktails. But I do know that I think triple sec tastes like sh*t and ruins all drinks. As soon as you remove the triple sec, it taste 4 billion times better. So that’s my secret to a better tasting cocktail – don’t add bullsh*t that doesn’t need to be there! Easy peasy!
The next two weekends are going to be busy AF. We have two Rockies games to go to this weekend. Go sports! I have two brunches to attend so I can catch up with friends that I haven’t seen in a hot minute. Then we are going to visit our friends who just popped out twins AND have a toddler. Insane. Could you imagine that? That’s so many tiny humans demanding your time and boobs. We also have my mother-in-law coming into town next weekend for Mother’s Day, so we are going to go to some dinners and do some girly stuff…probably go to another Rockies game. Go extra sports! Then have a lovely mothers day brunch at home! And I have a house warming party to stop in at.
And while all this is happening, we are trying to get our house painted and landscaping done. I swear to you, landscaping will never end here. A guy came over the other day and told us that we need to get some spruces and an autumn maple, which both start off at 6 feet and cost thousands of dollars, and then we can wait and watch them grow. He told me we could pour a glass of wine and wander around the yard to look at the flowers. Excuse me, bro, I’m not watching trees grow. Nor am I walking around my backyard with wine. I hate wine. And Jackson probably took a dump and I missed it because I like to put poop duty off for weeks. Looking at flowers and trees is not my goal. I don’t even want to be in this house for another 5 years. So what’s the point of spending money on trees? So people in 100 years can look at the trees…and maybe even cut them down? No thank you. I’m a realist here and the realist inside me says invest money in retirement, not trees.
Walk around the backyard with my wine?! PLEASE. If he would have said something a tad more intelligent…like a milkshake made with almond milk…he would probably have my business. He really needs to learn a little more about his target audience. Get to know his customer. The nerve.
I’m kidding, ok!? Kind of.
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/2 cup honey
- 1/4 cup lime juice
- 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 1 can (14 ounces) full fat coconut milk
- 16 ounces frozen mango
- 1 cup silver agave tequila
For the spicy salt rim
For the garnishes
- fresh (or frozen) mango, cubed
- fresh coconut, cubed
- lime wedges
- Place water, honey, lime juice, chili powder and cayenne pepper in a small saucepan over medium heat and cook for just a couple minutes, until the honey has dissolved completely. Remove from heat and place in the fridge to cool.
- Once cool, add simple syrup to a high speed blender along with coconut milk, frozen mango, and tequila. Blend until smooth. Taste for extra lime juice, if needed.
- Place all ingredients for salt rim in a shallow dish and mix to combine. Use a lime to squeeze around the edge of four 8-ouce glasses then dip them into the salt mixture. Pour margarita mix into those 4 salt-rimmed glasses. Garnish with chunks of mango and coconut and lime wedge on the side!
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