Exploring My Own Spirituality

Religion and spirituality have never been part of my life path so far. Both of my parents were raised very religious – one Catholic and the other Christian Scientist. But as they got older, they felt less pulled to those religions. So once I was born, they didn’t really know if they wanted to raise me in church or not. When I was 5 or 6, my parents tried to taking me to church for a bit just to give me some sort of community, but I quickly told them I didn’t want to go. I didn’t understand what they were talking about in church, it didn’t connect with me, and it wasn’t fun! My 6 year old brain thought, “I don’t get this and I don’t want to come here anymore.” So my parents took me out of and decided that a summer swim club would be enough of a community for us. As I got older, I noticed how many of my friends went to church and I wanted to fit in, so I would join them or go to youth group. But I would continually feel lost and the opposite would happen – I would feel even less like I fit it. It felt like everyone understood religion and I was some lost soul. But once I made it to college, I found others who felt like me, and there was a name to it – atheism. And since we tend to be quite obsessed with labels, I decided being an atheist was what I was. It was my identity. And that felt right for me for years until I understood that I really didn’t know anything. I didn’t know if there was a god, if there was a higher power, if we were just matter, if our souls went somewhere after life, if we had past lives, if we just become the earth when we did, if there was a heaven and hell, or anything in between.

And coming to a place of acceptance of not knowing the unknown started to open me up to different types of ideas and spirituality. If being in church and listening to readings from the bible wasn’t going to excite me or inspire me, I was going to find something that did. I believe that life should be exciting and you should listen to what you’re pulled to – listen to your intuition. Well a few years ago, I started being pulled towards my curiosity of a world I don’t understand. And that curiosity has led me down a fun and exciting road of growth and spirituality. It’s led me to question my own beliefs, who I am, where I came from, why I’m here, and my true purpose while I’m still on earth. It’s become much more than just spirituality, it’s become a path of trying to find a deeper love for who I am and what I can do while I am still here. I’ve talked about this a lot on my podcast, but I thought it might be cool to put a post together with all the different types of spiritual experiences I’ve had so I can refer back to this page whenever I talk about other things I experience along the way. If you’re like me and on your own journey, I hope my experiences help you or guide you in some way. If this all sounds totally insane, I hope this post gives you insight into a different side of spirituality or just a view into someone else’s experiences.

My own spiritual journey started when I was in Bali. My friend was traveling there for a month and I asked if I could visit her. When Brian and I visited her, she booked us a Birth Chart reading. We met the woman at a local restaurant and she read both of our birth charts back-to-back. I was truly flabbergasted by how spot on her reading was. She was able to tell me what I was like as a kid, my relationship with my mom, my love for food, my job that was based around food, my fear of having children, and more. I had met someone on the complete other side of the earth that seemed to know me better than I knew myself, all based off how the stars and planets were aligned when I was born. It blew me away and I now keep in touch with her weekly, getting birth chart readings from her every 6 months or so. This experience got me looking into zodiac signs and some of the negative behaviors about myself that I could improve.

My next chapter of curiosity pulled me towards Human Design. Human Design is extremely confusing if you try to look into it yourself. It’s an even deeper look into your birth chart. To me, Human Design is similar to an in-depth personality test. Your Human Design chart will tell you your aura type, I’m a Manifesting Generator, and it will also tell you your open and closed centers. By knowing these things, you can better understand yourself, similar to a personality test. It all feels very confusing when I look into it myself, which is why I had a zoom call with Althea Mara, who walked me through my Human Design to help me better understand myself. I think it’s incredibly helpful and insightful, if you’re looking to better understand your ticks and why you are the way you are.

The next thing I tried was a Marconic reading. I had never heard of Marconics so I went into this reading in the dark. From what I understand, a Marconic reading will raise your frequency so you can connect to a higher conscious and to your spirit guides. During my reading, she had me lie on her massage table and pretty much meditate while she tapped into my spirit guides. Then afterwards, she would talk through what she saw. She told me I was put here to help give people confidence. She said she didn’t see me working in the fitness space forever, but more so in helping and mentoring others on their own path. Some of the things she shared during the first reading really connected with me, but I wasn’t a big fan of the energy I experienced the second time around so I won’t share her information here. Of all the different readings I’ve tried so far, I’ve connected the least amount to this one. But I wanted to at least share it in case you can find someone who does those near you, that you actually connected with. You can also listen to my experience with my first Marconic reading on this podcast episode.

I also tried an Akashic Records reading. And this one was incredible and extremely impactful for me. Akashic records are supposed to hold all the past, present, and future history of your soul’s journey. A healer can access these records and tap into your spirit guides, then you are able to ask questions that you want answers to. I asked questions like:

• “What is my purpose here?”
• “What do some of my past lives look like?”
• “Why are certain people in my life?”
• “Why am I on this spiritual journey?”
• “Should we be living somewhere else?”
• “Why do my mom and I struggle so much with our relationship?”

As you ask these questions, your spirit guides will explain things and show different images to the healer for he or she to translate to you. Something that I found super interesting during this reading was that she told me I was killed in a past life for my spiritual abilities, which meant my soul chose parents that had no interest in raising me in the church so I could find my own spiritual path. Pretty crazy! This reading gave me more purpose, more excitement for what’s next after this life, and some really amazing answers to my past. Real or not, it gave me a new passion for life and it has me creating healthier habits, like meditation and journaling first thing in the morning, which sets me up for a really great day. You can listen to my experience with Kimber, an absolutely amazing woman, in this podcast episode!

And the most recent experience I had was a Reiki healing session. A friend came over to the house for a few things and we somehow ended up on the topic of spirituality. It seems like once you open those doors, others can feel it and start sharing their own experiences. Well this friend told me about a local woman who did Reiki sessions from her house and she put me in contact with her that afternoon. Before I knew it, I was at her house two days later! Reiki is a form of energy healing. When I got there, I spent an hour lying on her massage bed, she said a prayer, then she would put the palms of her hands in different spots like my feet, head, hips, legs, and I’m sure other spots, but I’ve already forgotten. It was a very peaceful experience that I really enjoyed. Something I found super interesting was that I would feel her put her hands on my feet then as she would let go and move to another area, it felt like her hands were still on my feet, and that 4 hands were now touching my body. I also felt sensations of heat when she wasn’t touching me. Reiki sessions can help open your closed chakras, leaving you feeling lighter, happier, and more at ease. She told me that most of my chakras were open, but to be aware of my throat chakra because that felt a bit closed. She told me to speak my truth, which feels very fitting for this post. I left my session feeling happy, the world felt more beautiful, and feeling more grateful than ever. You can listen to my experience with Ashley, an incredibly warm and kind person, in this podcast episode!

Now all I want to do is dig deeper. I want to dig deeper into astrology, deeper into akashic records, deeper into my spirit guides that came forward, and deeper into who I am and if I’m fulfilling my purpose. I want to meditate more, I want to try new experiences, I want to bring joy to others, I want to show others that they can find their own purpose in every day life, I want to inspire, I want to travel and spread positive energy and connection to the world around me, I want to get to know people on a deeper level, connect to souls that I’ve know from the past (in this life or others), and so much more. This new spiritual journey has been incredibly enlightening for me and I’m so thankful for it. It has me so excited to see what the future holds, in this life or the next. I hope this connects with some of you. If it doesn’t, I hope you found it incredibly interesting to hear how someone else is living their own unique life.

Follow your intuition, my friends!